The Defeated Heroine I Married Cannot Forget The Protagonist

✦  Chapter 2  ✦

「Translator - Creator」

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

From 17 years to 7 years ago.

There existed someone that people called the Blind Angel.

She was the Saint of her generation, a woman named Shirai, said to be born only once every hundred years.

According to history recorded by distant ancestors, women who become Saints invariably lose something as payment.

The first Saint lost her sense of smell, and the Saint of the previous generation lost both her thumbs.

The Saint before her lost her sense of taste,

And the one before that, lost her left foot.

Yet despite the drawback of losing part of their body or senses, most women prayed to be chosen as the Saint.

Because regardless of background or education, becoming a Saint brought immense benefits and honor.

Simply put, there was no other opportunity for such a dramatic reversal of fortune as becoming a Saint.

Therefore, unless one was of extraordinary status like royalty or a duke's daughter, it was unthinkable for any woman not to desire sainthood.

Another reason people took the Saint's sacrifice lightly.

It was a belief based on precedent.

Throughout history, while Saints lost body parts or organs as payment, never once did these losses pose a threat to their lives.

For instance, they might lose a limb, but never their head, brain, lungs, heart, blood vessels — nothing essential for human survival was ever taken.

Perhaps that's why.

The Saint of this generation was considered to have paid the harshest price among all Saints who ever existed.

She also became the first to shatter the complacency of women who underestimated the cost of becoming a Saint.

The current generation's Saint, Shirai.

What she lost as payment when she awakened as a Saint while farming in a rural village at age ten.

It was the sight in both eyes.

Not just one eye, but both. Losing vision in both eyes essentially meant becoming blind.

It was too cruel a punishment for a mere ten-year-old girl to bear.

The moment Shirai became a Saint, she lost her ability to see the world. She quickly learned how hollow and irresponsible the assurances were—that the price of sainthood would never endanger one’s life.

“…The moon is beautiful tonight.”

In a certain mountain valley, atop its peak stands a small but sturdy cabin.

Nearby was a pristine river teeming with fish, and the area had a cozy, campground-like atmosphere.

Neatly arranged logs crackled softly in the campfire, their light casting a warm glow. Fireflies shimmered faintly, adding specks of brilliance to the serene, dreamlike atmosphere of the early morning. The tranquil air, the pristine environment, and the breathtaking night sky—all of it seemed to center around a solitary woman.

Observing the beautiful night view while breathing in pure air in this quiet, deserted place.

This was the life she had always dreamed of.

Yet unlike what she had imagined, there was no happiness in it.

Instead, she felt stifled, empty, and hollow.

A small bedroom, a desk bearing only a thick Bible and a quill pen, wall-mounted candles brightly illuminating the room.

She, who regained her sight with the help of a man, sat in her wooden chair as always, taking in the beautiful night sky with both eyes.

As her cherry blossom-colored hair swayed gently in the cold breeze, a single tear rolled from her ruby-red, beautiful eyes.

Somehow, Shirai felt like she understood the reason behind her tears.

".............."

The full moon reflecting in her eyes seemed particularly beautiful to Shirai today.

It appeared brighter, closer, and more radiant than ever before. For a fleeting moment, she even wished she could reach out and touch its glowing surface.

It was as if the moon reminded her of someone she longed for—a figure she could only see in her memories, projected onto that glowing celestial body.

"Mate..."

The name slipped out unconsciously before she realized what she was doing; the man now called Mate Moondust, having taken the duke family's surname.

Only several seconds after unconsciously uttering his name did Shirai realize what she'd done, quickly covering her mouth, horrified by her own improper behavior.

Shirai was a married woman now.

It was unacceptable, even unthinkable, to yearn for another man.

Such thoughts violated every principle she held dear as a human being.

He's already married to another woman, and to her colleague no less. No matter how desperately she calls his name while lost in old memories, nothing will come of it.

".........."

Yet why?

Despite knowing this better than anyone, Shirai's mind was filled only with memories of one man.

It was certainly that day...

When they visited the ice cream shop near the Academy's market.

— Here, your favorite strawberry flavor.

— ...But I smell vanilla in this ice cream?

— “Ah, right. You don’t have your eyes, but you still have your sense of smell.

Even now, she thought about how terrible those words were.

To say something like, You don’t have your eyes, but you still have your sense of smell, to someone who couldn’t see—it was utterly insensitive.

"Pfft."

Looking back, she should have demanded an apology right then and there. It wasn’t the sort of thing to brush off so easily, yet Shirai had simply gone along with it, smiling as if nothing was wrong.

She remembered insisting that she wasn't missing eyes, but sight. That he should say she lacked sight, not eyes, from then on.

Of course, it had hurt then too.

After all, someone she considered a friend had touched upon her deepest pain.

She played along only because she didn't want unnecessary conflict. In truth, she wanted to demand an apology right then, asking what kind of way that was to speak.

But,

He understood her heart even more accurately than she had thought.

— You don't have to pretend you're okay.

The words that left his mouth were rather remarkable.

— ...What did you say?

— Your trying to act fine shows how much you're struggling. That's enough.

After that, he just kept muttering incomprehensible things.

Though Shirai stopped listening to his mutterings at some point, she could perfectly mimic that final statement he made, from its volume to its tone.

That's how deeply those words had impressed her, and above all...

It was a scene from her memories that she had replayed countless times.

"'Now I finally feel my efforts were worth it'... he said."

Now, years later, she understood all too well what his final words had meant.

That's why one corner of her heart ached even more.

Perhaps even long before the day he spoke those words, he had spent countless days and nights working. After all, each ingredient for the medicine that restored her sight was of the highest grade, each one impossibly rare.

But she didn’t know.

Not until long after, when they both were both already married to someone else.

All this time, she had thought it was Yuren, her current husband, who had developed the medicine.

It was one of the reasons she agreed to marry him in the first place.

But that wasn't true.

The one who had cured her eyes wasn't Yuren, but a man named Mate.

Yet Mate and she... already had their own spouses.

"...Ah... Aah...!!"

The overwhelming wave of regret hit me all at once, and tears spilled uncontrollably, soaking the hem of her clothes.

As she cried, one thought rose unbidden in her mind—

'God, please...'

If there were any way to start everything over again...

'Let me go back to the past...'

Even if it meant losing her sight again like before.

Even if it meant never being able to take in this beautiful night sky with her eyes like now.

Even though it would break her heart not to see his face again... it didn’t matter.

If only she could return to the past,

Back to when neither of them belonged to anyone else…

She wished he wasn’t Judith Moondust’s husband...

“...Such a miracle... It’s impossible, isn’t it?”

Shirai murmured in a sorrowful tone, wiping her tears as she looked up at the night sky.

“...Huh?”

The night sky shattered like a pane of broken glass.

The countless stars and the full moon that had been floating serenely above began to fall, crashing to the ground like a hailstorm.

Something unnatural—some force of catastrophic proportions—was overturning the very fabric of the world.

******

At the same time, on the high-rise terrace of the Moondust estate,

we stood silently, gazing at the fractured night sky.

The heavens had shattered, and stars were plummeting toward the earth in a desperate cascade.

Thankfully, the stars caused no harm to anyone—that was the only reason Sia and I were both standing here, unharmed.

"Did you tell Shirai?"

“No. I couldn’t. It’s obvious how much it would hurt her.”

Another moment of somewhat comfortable silence followed. The atmosphere was distinctly different from when I was alone with Judith yesterday.

Knowing that time was about to rewind, I couldn’t think of much to say, even with someone like Sia, who knew me so well.

"If it were me, I would've torn the Regression Tome right in front of Judith."

"Why would I look for someone who's going to be with Yuren? Besides, I never want to see her face again."

That's why I tore the Regression Tome without hesitation.

I could endure everything — being disrespected by my father-in-law, Judith constantly seeking the protagonist. But this crossed the line.

Me, who worked so damn hard, becoming the cuckolded husband?

I'd always regretted choosing the Regression Tome as my special privilege, but for the first time, I'm proud of my past self for selecting it.

The Regression Tome, already torn in two, rolled across the terrace floor.

The light that circled the torn tome gradually grew larger, creating a pillar of light reaching the shattered night sky.

"How long have you known?"

That question was obviously about Judith and Yuren.

"Today."

I see.

"You know about Muse calling us today, right?"

"Yeah, I heard it from Judith."

"Then why didn't you come? Muse was really disappointed."

……..?

For a moment, I thought I'd misheard her. It was completely opposite to what Judith had told me.

"Anyway... I was moving things around, helping with stuff, got too tired and fell asleep in the warehouse."

".........."

"And then somehow I ended up dying once on my way back today."

This flow of conversation would be incomprehensible to anyone unfamiliar with her circumstances.

But I'm someone who has watched Sia Stella closer than anyone.

Her ability was to resurrect at the last place she slept.

"So when I came back to life in the trading company warehouse..."

I wrapped one hand around Sia's shoulder while covering her mouth.

No husband in this world wants to hear how his wife fell for another man. And I'm no different.

And I decided there was no need to hear more, since Sia Stella's testimony was trustworthy.

*Whoosh—*

A cold wind swept over Sia and me, and perhaps because she was pressed close with my arm around her shoulder, her flowing silver hair brushed past my shoulder.

"It's cold."

She murmured softly after I withdrew my hand and her mouth was free again, and just as I was about to respond after taking a few seconds to understand what she meant.

*Thud—*

A lightning-fast movement that no ordinary person could react to.

Sia Stella — known for her complete indifference to others, always stoic, even nicknamed the Cold-Blood — embraced me first, though I wasn't even the protagonist.

My entire body froze like a statue from surprise, and she seemed no different.

She maintained her silence and rigidity for quite a while, holding me with both arms.

"Neither of us will remember this moment anyway."

".........."

"...So I'm trying to be a little honest."

Her breath brushed against me in hot puffs.

For a winter breath... It's too warm.

"You're warm."

"...You."

"What? Am I not allowed to do this?"

Her grip on me tightened, her arms pulling me closer.

As she raised her head, our eyes met briefly.

“This childish body of mine... even being pressed up against you like this, it doesn’t bother you at all, does it?”

Despite her embarrassing actions and words, Sia's face remained unchanged from usual.

Her face didn't flush, nor did her expression change in the slightest. Her appearance remained so completely unchanged it made one wonder if this was all an act.

However...

Even she, who always showed only her stoic side, was just a normal person.

"Hng!"

So even the cold-blooded Sia could make such sounds.

Her shoulders trembling as she let out something close to a moan, Sia seemed surprised at herself, eyes wide and dazed for several seconds.

Anyone watching might think I'd pinned Sia to a bed. But I'd just covered her reddened ears with my hands.

Though she tensed up and shrunk into herself, her arms showed no intention of letting go, instead pulling me closer with increasing strength.

"Guess you really are cold."

"..........."

"Your ears are bright red right now."

"...Yeah."

Only after countless stars had fallen did the shattered sky begin to blanket the ground.

Reality itself was collapsing, faster and more chaotically than before.

Space and time must have already begun to distort, because the terrace was now eerily silent, completely disconnected from the outside world.

Meanwhile, the strength in Sia's arms holding me gradually loosened.

After completely releasing me, Sia cleared her throat repeatedly, pretending nothing had happened, and uncharacteristically let out exclamations while watching the collapsing world.

"Won't you regret it?"

"Turning back time?"

I nodded with closed eyes as I spoke.

“In the next timeline, I’m going to try my best not to get involved with any of you.”

"What...?"

In all the time I had known her, I had never seen her like this. Sia Stella, always poised and cold, stood there completely flabbergasted, her mouth slightly agape in shock.

“I’ve come to realize that no matter how the scenario unfolds, heroines always end up belonging to the protagonist in the end.”

"What are you... talking about right now?"

This was something only I knew.

Even when time is reversed using the Regression Tome, its user never loses their memories of the previous timeline.

“Don’t worry,” I added with a smirk. “I’ll still make sure to resolve all of your traumas.”

"Wait...!"

As Sia reached out toward me, the flow of space-time itself began to slow, as if trapped in a surreal slow-motion sequence.

It felt like watching a video replayed frame by frame, each moment dragging endlessly.

And just when I thought the phenomenon had reached its peak—

*BOOM-!!!*

A deafening sound, like a lightning strike, echoed across the frozen world.

And the pillar of light from the torn Regression Tome gradually grew even larger, spreading and beginning to devour the frozen world.

The world was turning upside down.

END of CHAPTER