The days of survival on a deserted island with a beautiful woman

I have to admit that telling serious jokes is really average.

She told a few jokes by herself, and I have to say that they are far better and funny than what I said, and the atmosphere is a little better than before, but I am always alert while listening.

"Actually, I was embarrassed to say it before, but now let you listen to the inner joke between us men." I said with a smile. "One thing has been bothering a buddy, because his little brother has a spiral shape, and he traveled all over the country to visit famous doctors, but he couldn't come to a conclusion. Until one day when he went to the public toilet, he found that other people peeed by shaking and shaking, but he did. It was wrung and wrung, 20 years!"

"Nonsense! Haha!" Sister Yu scolded with a smile, connotation jokes are very funny to every adult.

"Let me tell you another nonsense. A grown man came to a hotel and saw many beautiful cars in the garage, so he asked the boss why there were so many beautiful cars. The boss told him, I have a five He is a [-]-year-old son. He does three things. If you can do it, you can choose one of the cars here and drive away. If you can’t, leave your car. Many people can’t do it, so...he thought , What a five-year-old child can do, can't do it, so I give it a try.

So the boss took him to a room where there was a beautiful beauty. The child went to kiss her, and he followed suit. Then the child went to touch the beauty's whole body, and he followed suit. The third thing, The child took out his little brother and bent it three times..."

"Haha! This is even more nonsense. The topics between you men are all pornographic. I have already seen through you animals that think with their lower bodies." Li Meihong laughed and scolded.

Although it is a bit colorful, it is best to release the pressure in this wilderness survival environment, otherwise you will become nervous, so the smile is particularly charming.

"Okay! Then let me say another thing that is not connotative. I have a college classmate who is a fat man. One day a few of our classmates went to the street to play. This fat man is a foodie. He eats anything that can be stuffed into his mouth. I didn't know that fellow I ate something, and my stomach was ruined. But I couldn’t find a public toilet on the street for a while. From the bitter face that the guy twisted because of the pain, I knew how uncomfortable the stomach was. Later, the guy couldn’t hold it anymore. So he rushed into a nearby small restaurant to find a toilet. It was noon, and the restaurant was full of people eating. He didn't bother to ask the restaurant waiter, so he looked for the toilet by himself. Unexpectedly, there was someone in the toilet on the first floor, and it was big. He Before I could wait, I ran up to the second floor, and there happened to be a toilet that was empty. But do you know what is written on the toilet door?"

I whetted Li Meihong's appetite.

"What's so funny about this? Isn't it just a women's restroom." Li Meihong looked like she had already guessed the plot.

"Hey! Wrong! It says: under maintenance, use suspended. But that fat man just ignores those words, takes off his pants and bleeds a thousand miles, what a pleasure! On the first floor, do you think he found something terrible?"

"What's so terrible about this?" Li Meihong stopped guessing now, but her appetite had already been whetted.

"He found that the small restaurant that was full of diners just now is now empty, and the atmosphere is weird. He walked to the front desk gently, and found a waiter brother committed to the front desk. He asked the waiter boy what was going on strangely The waiter stood up and said to the guy: "You just came in and want to eat! I think you should go to other places to eat first."

My fat classmate asked strangely: 'Why?How is this going? '

The service boy said: "Fortunately, you came late. I don't know what happened to the broken toilet on the second floor just now."It actually dropped a lot of excrement and fell on the spinning ceiling fan, making shit and pee flying all over the place, and now all the guests have run away, alas, it stinks. When the fat man heard it, isn't this his masterpiece?So he ran away. "

"I made this up myself! What a disgusting joke! Haha." Li Meihong still laughed and cursed, her chest was shaking, the murder weapon was different.

I also feel super disgusting, but this is indeed an embarrassing story passed down in college, because it has a strong taste and disgusting, so I still remember it.

……

The sky in summer is bright early, and the sun comes out soon, like a peacock opening its tail, spreading its golden and radiant wings. The light passes through the woods, and colorful beams of light fall down.

I crushed the leaves of the bamboo pepper and re-dressed her.

Then Li Meihong and I collected the first morning dew with a bottle nearby. Although we didn’t collect much, it was still possible to quench our thirst. It’s better than nothing.

I had to get out of here quickly, because the appearance of a big bad wolf broke our thoughts of praying to get out of this jungle safely.To be targeted by a wolf means to be targeted by a pack of wolves.I don't want the worst fatal scenario.

The jungle is full of dangers and I have to be careful.We packed up and went back on the road. Without help, we had to find our way out on our own.

"What are you doing?" Li Meihong asked suspiciously. She saw me marking the passing trees with the sharp end of the steel pipe.

"One is to prevent getting lost, and the other is to point out a path for those who need to be rescued or rescued later." I laughed and made a simple mark on the tree every other section of the road.

"Sister Hong, do you know? I had a dream last night?"

"Oh? What did you dream about? A spring dream?"

"I dreamed that I became a big gray wolf and wanted to do that to you."

"Men are indeed cowards, they want to do that even in their dreams." Li Meihong said with contempt.

"But the plot was reversed. I was pushed down by you in reverse. After you finished, there were top-notch stewardess He Xueer and actress Lin Binger and other women queuing up behind you... I was exhausted..."

Chapter 15 We Are Followed

"Haha, that's the erotic dream of a villain and a gangster! It's good to be wiped out, and there will be one less bad man in the world."

Li Meihong was amused and burst out laughing, the pair of mysterious plump breasts shook with the owner's laughter, and she was really worried that they would fall off like ripe peaches.

In her opinion, this is just a joke I made up randomly, it's just an internal joke to make her happy and let her come out of her fear, but this is indeed a dream I had last night, a very strange erotic dream.

In the jungle, the sun shines through the shade among the leaves, looking up, it looks like stars twinkling in the sky, very crystal clear and beautiful, revealing an elusive silence.

But walking in the jungle is not an easy task, everywhere is full of dangers, if you are not careful, you may give your life here forever.There are various unknown large and dangerous animals lurking in the jungle, as well as a large number of insects that can spread diseases.In addition to the haunting mountain mosquitoes, there are also big ants crawling around on the plants.

"Ah! It hurts!"

Li Meihong suddenly screamed, and then slapped hard on the back of the neck.

"Are you okay?!" I asked with concern, only to see a big ant corpse in her hand, this kind of ant is much bigger than what we usually see,

"It hurts. It feels as uncomfortable as being pricked by a needle."

Li Meihong tilted her head in pain, a painful and itchy look appeared on her beautiful face.

When I was about to comfort Li Meihong, I felt an itchy pain on my arm, and I got caught too!A big ant was biting my bare arm, and I slapped it hard.

Ants are toothless insects, but ants have an organ that functions similarly to teeth, that is, the palate, which can be used to hold and cut food.

I took a closer look at the jaws of these big ants, and they turned out to be bigger, thicker and sharper than I had seen before, a bit like a shrunken version of the mantis sword.

So don't underestimate these big ants, they bite me and Li Meihong in pain, and if you move the leaves, a few big ants may fall on you, crawl around on your clothes, and bite mercilessly Take a sip, fortunately there is no toxin, but the painful and itchy feeling is not for you.

"what……"

Li Meihong was hit again, this time on her thigh, she lifted her skirt in pain, and crushed the scent-stealing ants to death on her snow-white thigh.

"Ah... my breasts..."

This time the ant actually fell into the deep hole and took a bite on the creamy white jade. Sister Yu blushed, turned her back to me and reached in to grab the nasty little guy Come out, "My sister dares to bite her chest, I will crush you to death!"

"Ah!" I was also bitten a few times, and I looked up at the black nests on the tree, "Sister Meihong, let's go faster, there are ant nests here, so there are a lot of ants."

Along the way, Yujie and I suffered from mosquito harassment, and it was not until I found an unknown plant that it was relieved.

"Tiantian, did you also smell some strange smell, it stinks." Li Meihong couldn't help but say it.

"Yes." I have noticed a long time ago, in the soft forest mountain wind, there is a strange smell, "It is blowing from the front."

The strange smell is emitted from several unknown plants. We were surprised to find that the leaves of these plants have small spots like needle eyes. These small spots emit strange smells like stomata. These smells cannot be described as It smells bad, kind of like wormwood.

I picked a few leaves and mashed the juice and applied it on the back of my hand. It was a refreshing feeling. After careful observation again, I found that these plants did not look like poisonous plants.

"Sister Meihong, we don't have to suffer any more this time." I laughed and picked off a few leaves to show her, "This plant has a similar smell to wormwood, and it can repel insects."

I crushed the leaves to get the juice and applied it on the skin exposed outside the clothes, and the head and face were not missed.

"Thank you. I won't paint it for now."

Li Meihong politely declined my offer, she disliked this disgusting smell, no matter how much I persuaded her, she was unwilling to put it on. It is no wonder that I believe that many women who love beauty generally do not like these strange airways.