The Cycle of Hatred: A Naruto Insert

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"I really should be going," I said, leaving behind my empty ramen bowl.

"What's the rush?" Ayame asked. "Can't you stay for a while?"

"Leave him be. He's just come back from a mission." Teuchi swatted her lightly. When he looked at me, I could see neverending concern in his eyes. "How was it?"

I shrugged. "It wasn't great, but it ended well. I'm a lot richer and I got to do some good."

"The number of shinobi who've sat opposite that counter… do you know how many of them come for a hot bowl of comfort after a mission?"

"...No?"

"Too many—but do you know how many of them promise me that they'll come back safe and sound, but don't?"

I looked at my feet. "...Too many."

He hummed, laying a hand on my head. "You might grow taller than me one day, you're stronger than me, but that worry? The worry that gnawed at me the entire time you were gone? I don't think it'll ever go away, even if you became the Hokage."

There he went again, dropping gems of wisdom and a punch to the gut alongside said gem. I snorted, blinking the unbidden heat out of my eyes. "...Like I'd ever choose to do that much paperwork."

"Get out of here," he chuckled, opening the door for me. "But don't be a stranger, you hear me?"

Ayame squeezed her head under his arm in the doorway. "I'm serious!"

I looked back at them and gave a lazy two-fingered salute. "I'll be there for my shift on Thursday!"

Once the amusement faded, I was left wandering the busier streets in… boredom wasn't quite the right word. I knew that there was something I had to do, I just didn't have the desire or energy to do it, so I hopped across the rooftops instead. Hokage Mountain stood tall in the distance, but I kept my eyes off it, at least for the first half an hour. When the beating sun grew too hot to withstand, I fell back to street level and went wherever my feet took me.

I drifted through the village, the familiar sights blurring into a haze as I moved without purpose. The vibrant colours of the market stalls, the distant chatter of vendors, and the occasional glint of metal from a shinobi's forehead protector all melted into the background. My mind wandered as much as my feet, skimming over thoughts and memories that seemed just out of reach.

A gentle breeze swept through the alleyway, bringing with it the faint scent of grilled fish from a nearby stand. My stomach growled, but I ignored it, too restless to stop. Today was just another day, passing like so many others, with no more meaning than the last.

Or so I tried to tell myself.

In time, my feet took me to where my mind was too afraid to go, the building's red tiers stretching higher. Grimacing, I walked past the guarded front gate and entered the building. A cool blast of air conditioning struck me from above as I entered the building.

The receptionist noticed me first, lips pursing into a frown.

"I'm here to see Lord Third."

She relayed my message into the intercom and I walked past without another word, ascending the winding staircase. The door to Lord Third's office was slightly ajar so I opened it without a sound. Somehow, he noticed me, the aged lines on his face relaxing just a little at the sight of me.

"Naruto."

I pulled my lips into a smile or tried to anyway. It felt more like a grimace and didn't come as easily as a smile should have. Lord Third noticed, but only widened his own smile in response. The shadow of our conversation last night hung over the room like a mortcloth, stifling any goodwill I felt despite it all.

I… I understood why he made his choices, but those choices left me without anyone to trust for a long time. What was I to do, then? I'd spent so long seething at my lot in life, being angry at Lord Third. He came to me, explained himself, and even went a step further by revealing my parentage to me.

To be honest, I thought he'd take that secret to the grave.

Shuffling a little, I gave him a slight bow. "Uh… hello, sir."

"Here for the key, I assume?" he continued, undaunted by my awkwardness as he reached into a drawer.

I nodded, inching closer to the cluttered desk, and held my hand out, ready to accept the golden key. Its weight settled into my palms, oddly heavy to touch and I pocketed it, feeling its drag inside my shorts.

"Oh," Lord Third's voice stopped me as I turned to leave, "I forgot to mention this last night, but your friends have also returned from their missions."

"Really?" I turned, momentarily forgetting the weighty awkwardness. "Are they okay?"

"Team 7 failed their mission," he replied. "Jonin Hatake is in the hospital but is fine to receive visitors."

"Why did they fail?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I can't tell you. It's classified."

Furrowing my brow, I swallowed that information, dozens of questions bursting from the unanswered one. Who had they encountered that was strong enough to land Kakashi in the hospital and prevent them from succeeding? Zabuza had come after the Jagged Blades and was in the Land of Fire, so who had Gato hired?

I wouldn't get an answer from Lord Third, Kakashi or the other members of Team 7 for that matter.

"What about Team 8?"

Lord Third's face wrinkled into a frown. "They did not go on a mission."

I did a double-take at that. "Why?"

"Jonin Yuhi turned it back in and has seen fit to blacklist them from out-of-village missions for the foreseeable future due to Genin Nara's conduct during the joint training. In truth, I agree with her. They are not ready for the responsibility… not yet."

So, that was it, huh?

When no one came to back up Kiba, I realised he was being used as a sacrificial piece but didn't think much else of it since it was a training exercise. However, on a real mission, Kiba would have died. A tactic like that should have been Shikamaru's last resort but he used it right off the bat. In the chaos of Ino's debacle, it slipped my mind but I couldn't argue the decision since Shikamaru deserved it.

I did feel bad for Kiba, though; Ino might have gone along with Shikamaru, but the poor guy did nothing wrong, even eating a food pill was a bit hair-brained because death was never on the table during a training exercise.

"I'll… uh, go talk to him," I said, slipping up, in part, due to the news throwing me off kilter.

"Perhaps the word of a friend will remind young Nara of what being a Leaf shinobi means," Lord Third replied with an appreciative nod. "In a similar vein, Team 7 could do with the companionship of their fellows."

"I'll spread the word to Team 8 as well."

"See that you do."

With a nod, I turned to walk away, moving my left foot from the open door so I could step through it.

"Naruto?" again, Lord Third's voice stopped me before I could leave his office.

I turned around with my eyebrows arched in curiosity. "Yes?"

"Have a good day."

I blinked before a smile stretched across my face against my will. Triumph swam in Lord Third's eyes at having managed to make me smile and I turned around, partly out of embarrassment but also to stop the door from closing.

"...Thank you," I grunted out, closing the door behind me.

The key sat heavy in my pocket, growing heavier with each step I took away from Hokage Mountain but it wasn't time yet.

I had one more thing I wanted to do—no, I had to do before I went there. Arriving at the front of the Nara compound, I was met by two guards reclining in chairs on either side of the massive gate. They took one look at me and gestured me in. By their lazy posture, it was easy to write them off as the usual slothful Nara, but I saw the way their eyes raked over my body as I walked on by.

In time, I stood before the door to Shikamaru's family home, the key in my pocket feeling heavier than it should. I knocked, and Shikamaru's father opened the gate, giving me a curious look but letting me in without a word.

"...Naruto Uzumaki," he said with a raise of his brow. "You've returned."

I bowed. "Jonin Commander."

"None of that, now," he replied with a wave of his hand. "I'm unofficially off-duty for the next four hours."

"Unofficially?"

He winked with a rogue grin that stretched across his scarred face.

"Where's Shikamaru?" I asked. "I'm here to talk to him."

"I figured you would. He's out back."

He gestured over his shoulder to a corridor that led to their garden where I found him lying in the grass, staring up at the clouds like usual. I walked over and sat down beside him.

He didn't bother looking at me. "What's up, Naruto?"

"I heard about the training," I said, keeping my tone neutral.

"Yeah, it was a mess as everyone keeps saying," Shikamaru replied, a hint of irritation creeping into his voice.

"A mess that you're responsible for," I replied. "You came up with that plan, remember?"

He groaned and sat up. "But it wasn't all on me. Kiba was reckless! Why the hell would he choose to fight you, Choji, and Hinata?"

I frowned. "Kurenai-sensei seemed to think it was on you for making the call and I think I agree with her."

"Of course you do" Shikamaru shot back, finally turning to face me. "Unlike you, my team isn't the strongest. I had to make a choice with the pieces that I had."

"But you didn't have to sacrifice Kiba," I pointed out. "There were other options. If this was real, Kiba would have died, man."

He shrugged, the frustration clear on his face. "It's easy to say that now, after the fact, but out there, I did what I thought was best given the situation. If they had just stuck to the plan…"

I stayed quiet for a moment... my words weren't sinking in so maybe another angle would work.

"I get that it's tough, but blaming everyone else isn't going to help. You're the one they'll look to for help. You're practically the second-in-command after Kurenai-sensei. What are supposed to do if Ino and Kiba can't trust you for fear that you'll sacrifice them like some shogi piece?"

"I get it, alright?" Shikamaru sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's just… annoying, you know? Having to rely on others when they can't even follow a simple strategy."

"Maybe," I said, standing up, "but if you keep thinking like that, you're just going to isolate yourself from them. We all make mistakes, Shikamaru. The first step to never making them is admitting we made the mistake in the first place."

He didn't respond right away, just lay back down and stared at the clouds again.

"In other news, Team 7 is ready to receive visitors according to Lord Third." I stood there for a moment before heading off. "Do you know what would help you with getting your team's trust back?"

"...What?"

"Kiba's friends with Shino and Ino's friends with Sakura. Go to your teammates and offer to check in on their friends. Sure, they might not be very happy with you now, but it'd be a step in the right direction and maybe Kurenai-sensei will be willing to give you guys a mission if you extend an olive branch."

Shikamaru didn't reply, but I figured he'd come around eventually.

Leaving the Nara compound, I found myself back in the village streets with no clear destination in mind. The sun hung high in the sky and I drifted past the same stalls I'd seen earlier, the vendors calling out their wares to the passing crowds. The smells of grilled meats and fresh vegetables filled the air, but my appetite had faded.

Instead, I kept moving because there was no avoiding it any more.