Chapter 40: Chapter 40: Desire
Ser Jorah Mormont
The ship was moving with a lot of alarming rates, the waves were kicking up closer and closer, the nearer they got to Dragonstone and home. Or maybe that was Jorah, his heart was hammering. The thing he had wished for nearly nine years, was about to happen now. Lynesse the woman he had loved for as long as he had known her was being brought to him, courtesy of the King. Jorah felt his breath catch as she was dragged in, wearing nothing but a rag, she was dropped in the floor in front of him. The King spoke then. "She is all yours now Ser Jorah, ask her what you will. And decide whether she gets the blade or gets to live." The King stands to the back, his guards with him.
Jorah stares at his former wife, drinking her in, her blond hair is still as luscious as he remembers, her cheeks are rose tinted, as they would often get after she laughed or drank, and Gods she still makes his heart beat quicker. He looks at her and then asks her. "Are you well?" It is an odd question he knows, but it is all he could think to ask.
His former wife laughs. "I was. Before I was dragged from my home."
Jorah swallows slightly, he remembers Lynesse's temper well. When things had started to get rough, they would fight, and they both had bruises in the morning, emotional and physical. He swallows once more and then responds. "I am sorry for that. But I would ask, do you wish to go back to Lys, to your lover?"
A part of him hopes she says yes, he does not think he is as ready for this confrontation as he once had been, but then he sees Lynesse shake her head and he feels easier. "No, there is no point. He would not welcome me back now." She tilts her head, and straightens her shoulders, bringing on the air that had made her so irresistible to him in the beginning. "So, tell me Jorah, what do you want?"
Jorah hesitates, he thinks he knows what he wants, but for some reason he cannot find the words to say it. As the silence stretches on, memories begin playing through his mind. Memories of them laughing and kissing in the sunlight, memories of them dancing and singing, he feels a pang in his chest, and that is when he knows. "I want to know why you left. Where did it go so wrong?"
He expects derision from Lynesse, that was what he had gotten last time he had asked that question, but this time she sighs. "I do not know. I was a naïve little girl back then. I wanted things, and I thought life was a song." There is an air of sadness about her, for she then says. "I know better now."
Jorah tenses then, it might have been nearly a decade since they were with one another, but he still knows all of her tells, and he feels as if there is something much deeper and darker to what she is saying, or rather what she is not saying. He finds himself asking. "Did he hurt you?" he cannot remember the name of the man she chose over him, and he will not bother to remember it.
Lynesse is silent for a moment. "Not at first, but he became demanding, and then I just wanted to go home, back to the Hightower, but none of my family would have me back."
Of course they would not, the Hightowers were an old and proud house, Leyton Hightower had not approved of his daughter marrying someone like Jorah, but had agreed, because it made his daughter happy, that things fell apart later, Jorah thinks his goodfather would have laughed in his daughter's face for wanting to come home. "SO what did you do?" he finds himself asking despite himself.
"I stayed and I found ways to cope. I started working, using skills I had thought I'd forgotten." His wife replies, the thought of his wife, slender and beautiful working, doing the things she had shunned when they were actually together, makes him laugh, he cannot help himself, he laughs, and he feels his heart stutter when she laughs alongside him as well.
Eventually they stop laughing, and reality returns. He knows he has a decision to make, the King is there, in the shadows, waiting and watching, he knows a part of him still loves his wife, and that another part of him hates her, but he cannot separate the two, he needs to know whether she feels the same. "Do you care for him?" he asks instead.
His wife's silence is like a hammer blow, but then relief comes when she shakes her head. "I do not. Not for a long time." A pause, then she says. "I used to think about you, about us, when I was alone and feeling lonely. I used to remember everything, the good and the bad. And I missed it, I missed us."
Jorah walks toward her then, and puts his hands on her shoulders. "What are you saying?" he feels hope bloom in his chest. "Are you saying you want to get back together?"
His wife puts her hand on his cheek and nods. "I am Jorah. I know things will not be as they were between us. But we are both older and wiser now, perhaps we could work things out, together?"
"I would like nothing more than to do that." Jorah responds.
His wife smiles, and it is one of, if not the best thing he has ever seen. "Then let us give it a try."
Jorah smiles, leans in and kisses his wife, truly kisses her, and feels as if his heart is singing, when he pulls away, the King is nodding. "Good very good. So now that that is settled let us progress shall we?"
Jorah bows his head, and his wife curtsies. "Of course Your Grace. What would you like to discuss?"
The King smiles. "Why the Hightower family of course."