NOVEL NEXT 1 - The Interview
"Do you think we're soulmates?" she asked, looking him deep in the eyes. She was enjoying the moment, which he was thrilled to see, but it wasn't helping him at all.
He breathed deeply, trying to remain calm and conserve his stamina. He answered honestly, but tried to be a bit kinder and gentler.
"I don't have any reason to believe soulmates are a real thing," then looking into her eyes as deeply as she did his, he took a deep breath. He prepared himself to hold out, just trying to make it through the next thrust. "But when I look at you... I think... 'fuck yeah.'"
"Yeah?" Her eyes brightened, wild. They weren't quite human anymore. Her smile was wide and somehow too sharp.
But he continued, "Yeah... but I can't hold this shield forever. I swear on my Path, if you don't take this more seriously and help me kill these spear golems, I WILL choke you later."
"Promise?" she flirted with a wink, but she was already off, already changing into something a 'little more comfortable' for the occasion. It looked kind of bearish to Levi.
He smiled despite the situation. She did love to make him sweat, he did love her more than his own life.
And life was good. It was hard to believe it had only been six months.
______________
SIX MONTHS EARLIER:
He didn't know how long he floated in emptiness. It felt like a moment and an eternity. Blackness. He was semi aware, but any time he reached for greater awareness, it would slip away, like trying to catch a minnow with your bare hand. It frustrated him. Why could he not focus? He was good at that when things felt dire.
But things didn't really feel dire, did they? They just felt empty.
And then those thoughts would slip away, too.
------
"Hello Levi," a soft but authoritative voice said. It sounded grandfatherly, but younger and firmer.
Levi was unsure of whether the voice woke him or if he simply awoke the same moment the man spoke. Yet, either way, there was no grogginess or lingering feeling from sleep.
"A bit of both and neither. I woke you and spoke as you awoke. But you are also not truly sleeping nor truly awake. To preemptively address your follow-up questions on this, please wait until after more pressing concerns are discussed."
The man sat across a desk. Wooden, not great, but real wood. And old. It instantly reminded Levi of the old desks he'd seen in the offices of battalion commanders (and a few lucky company commanders) back in the Marines. They never really stood out unless you were paying attention, but they were real wood, old, and well kept.
The man's hair was cut in a way that would be considered professional but somewhat casual, nothing military about it. It was a dark brown, not quite black, but not a single hair of grey or white. Yet, his tightly groomed beard was peppered with both. He looked so much like Levi's late father, but not the same person at all.
He sat behind the desk, so Levi could only see the shirt the man wore, a casual button-up with a V-neck collar. It was a fern green, covered in burnt orange flowers with golden tips. It had some other abstract designs in various shades of red. Levi recognized the shirt instantly.
It had been his favorite shirt in high school. Most people he'd gone to school with had told him the shirt was ugly or asked why he wore it, but Levi had loved it. Everyone else seemed to hate it or not comment at all. And somehow, for the first time in his life, he had worn something with complete confidence based on nothing other than his own love for it.
Something told Levi that if he saw the legs beneath the desk, they'd surely be wearing tan cargo pants, and at the feet, he'd find lace-up boots. Not military boots, though very similar... just brown, smooth leather, civilian utility boots.
Because that's what Levi would wear, if he could choose to wear exactly what he actually wanted.
As far as the walls, floor and ceiling? Hard wood of varying shades. As uniform and unyielding as cinderblock walls, but somehow subtlety less abrasive. It was also a terrible taste of interior design, in a way Levi felt inexplicably self-inflicted.
'What the fuck...' Levi thought.
And yet all of Levi's confusion and interest was still overshadowed by the man's voice and cadence. It had the smooth nature of Morgan Freeman, a bit of the timbre of James Earl Jones, the cadence that reminded him a bit of a therapist. And without reason, it had the familiarity of a close friend. It was something entirely unique yet comforting. But that also put Levi even more on guard.
Which made him realize that something was affecting him now, keeping him calm when he may otherwise completely fight what was happening to him.
"What are you doing to me?" Levi tried to put anger into his voice and intention when he asked. He reached for the anger as he said the words, but there wasn't any there. Not really. He wanted there to be anger, but it just fell flat.
"Forgive me, but we find it easier to hinder emotional responses during the initiation," answered the man. Then, almost as if in response to Levi's thoughts, the man continued. "Let me also say I am more of a conceptual construct than a man. I am real in this moment, for you. But, I am not real in the sense that I will persist beyond this interaction, at least not in this form. Everything I am is designed for you, with the purpose of initiating you into your new existence. I am having billions of similar conversations with billions of people with billions of versions of myself, all at the same time."
Levi again tried to speak, though he wasn't even sure what he'd say, just knowing it would probably begin with 'What the fuck.' But something stopped him. It didn't feel like anything stopped him, though. It was more like the loss of words you experienced the first time you gave a public speach, but without any of the fear that cane with that experienced. His mouth just couldn't say the words.
"Listen a moment, and then I will restore your ability to ask questions. Also, call me Rick. There is no meaning to it, but I know it will bring you some measure of comfort to have a name for me."
The 'man' paused for a moment and watched Levi. After a moment, he nodded and continued.
"Let me start by saying your world is about to change drastically. But rest assured, it will not be any more unsafe than the world you had before. Perhaps, for most, it will be even safer. For those who chase challenge and improvement, perhaps far more dangerous, but only for those who seek it."
The man, or not man, or Rick, again paused and eyed Levi.
Levi, of course, was a swirl of thoughts. But foremost was, 'What the fuck is going on?'
After a moment, Rick nodded and continued. "Your world is about to change drastically, yes, but so will you all. The world you reawaken in will be similar to that of what you perceive as a video game system. This is due to the current average human mindset and what they will be most receptive with in regard to change.
I assure you humanity was thoroughly analyzed to reach a determination on the best way to implement this change. Not only are the vast majority of humans familiar with video games, but the idea of such a change has recently become quite popular in many of the stories you create.
For you personally, compare it to the litrpg you read as a guilty pleasure, because while the theme is a bit cliché, the consensus is that it will result in the best possible transition. Perhaps even because it is such an overused theme, this is the best way for your people to adapt to a new existence."
Levi almost tried to speak again, and then didn't bother, thinking it was a waste of time.
"No, go on, this is your moment to ask questions," Rick said evenly.
Levi opened his mouth, and then closed it again. Pointless questions were a waste of time, assuming he wasn't in the middle of a psychotic break. Then he thought of what he really wanted to ask.
"Why?" Levi demanded. "Why is this happening? It seems entirely random."
"Because there is a species of extra-dimensional symbiotes who attach themselves to lower dimensional species to grow and reproduce. They exist on a level you'd best understand as spiritual, perhaps. They created this way of expansion," Rick answered flatly.
It was hard for Levi to tell if he was serious, but he chose to address it as if it were. "So basically, powerful spiritual parasites come along to harvest some kind of spiritual energy from us? And they completely change everything about our world and lives in the process. And we're just supposed to be cool with it?"
Rick quickly spoke to refute this, pretty damned urgently, too, it seemed. "Not parasites... symbiotes... you won't even notice you have one in you. I mean, you can't tell right now...
They need the spiritual energy you produce to survive, grow, and reproduce. They can't make it themselves. But if they just fed on it, the host would die, and it wouldn't be sustainable.
But they've adapted. They change and enrich what they can for the lives of their hosts, empowering them physically, granting abilities, knowledge, and growth. As a result, their hosts grow and produce more spiritual power, and in return, the symbiotes grow stronger and are able to continue feeding the growth of the host. It is entirely mutually beneficial."
"Huh," Levi said, "That sounds suspicious as fuck, but also like I don't have a choice." Levi sighed deeply, "I get it though. But why I am I here right now?" Levi surprised himself with the emotion, frustration, that he actually felt and truly leaked out in his words.
And 'Rick' just smiled.
----
Across Earth, the entity known to Levi as 'Rick' had billions of similar conversations with other humans. Though similar really could be a relative term.
----
"Yes, exactly like that movie. You get it perfectly! Aren't you super excited?"
----
"Yeah, kind of like that web novel, but definitely with a whole lot less death at the beginning."
----
"No ma'am, not at all, more like 'guardian angel' not 'demon.'"
----
"Yeah, sure, I'm sure there will eventually be cat girls."
----
"Uh... pretty sure that's morally bankrupt no matter what..."
----
"You're so stupid it is pointless to explain. Good luck."
----
"While you are an absolutely delightful person, please stay in the safe zone."
----
"You'll be okay whether I explain or not."
----
'Rick' had billions of conversations. And for an entity that ceased to exist after all of these conversations ended, damn he was ready for it to end.
---
But 'Rick' still smiled at Levi, "Correct. The most important thing is your assignments. These include classes, skills, etc. And that is why you are here.
These are all primarily based on your past experiences. Your skills will mostly be automatically processed and assigned. Some other details may also be automatically assigned, if applicable. But the most important part, your class, is not automatically assigned."
"Why? Why isn't it automatic? That makes more sense if it is just based on our experiences," Levi asked.
"Yes, when you see the world only as actions and consequences, or alternatively, as you may see a system designed for an rpg. This isn't that. Not precisely. Your spirit, soul, whatever you want to call it, matters.
What do you think matters more to your spirit, an easy victory that never quite stands out in your mind or a hard fought loss, disaster even, that shaped who you are today? But more importantly, no one, at least not solely, can tell you who you are and who you want to become. Though, please note that the reputation you have, or what others think and believe, can have a deep impact on the final result.'
Something about the way Rick spoke to Levi made Levi feel like trusting him, like maybe this person/thing really did have his best interests at heart. Levi did not like that. It seemed artificial.
"Why would the opinions and beliefs of others affect you as an individual? And how does that even work?" Levi's brows furrowed.
"It all goes back to the spiritual nature of the symbiotes and how interconnected they are. If you can base your understanding on that moving forward, things will likely begin to feel more intuitive.
As for how it works. Well, let's say you really, really want to be a hero... if you are a firefighter or cop or anything former military with any real base, your desire is strengthened by anyone who thought you were a hero for being those things. If your actual experience was being a hero, you could get a really great class.
On the other hand, even if you want to be a hero, but people have always seen you as a coward, criminal, or villain.. you will definitely have a much weaker class."
Rick sighed. "A villain would be better off getting a higher rank villain class immediately and trying to become a hero over time, rather than trying to trick the evaluation in the beginning. Yet, even now, millions try to trick the evaluation.
Don't misunderstand. A strong desire can be a powerful factor in the assessment, but not when it is so fundamentally opposed to the realities of your past experiences."
Levi thought for a moment, then spoke. "And how do we do the evaluation?"
Rick smiled again, "I thought you'd never ask.
Think of this as a job interview, where you're guaranteed a position, but you're trying to get the very best one possible by selling your best qualifications for that job. Even how you articulate that is significant. Though I'm not allowed to go into details about that. A bit too meta to be free knowledge.
You have five times to tell me something you want to become. Each time, you will present your qualifications, experience, or reasons and desires, as justification. Let's call each of these a petition. So you make five petitions.
Each time, classes will be unlocked. The end result will be classes where all of your desires and qualifications overlap. At that point, you may choose to pick from the options, or you can simply allow me to assign the one I deem best."
Rick grew quiet, letting his explanation sink in.
"I see," Levi answered simply. For a moment, he didn't move, just frozen. 'Fuck me, I hate job interviews. I always seem to do amazing until the very end.'
"Again, why not just assign them? You can clearly read my thoughts, so why the interview?"
Rick answered without hesitation. "Because, reading your thoughts is not omniscience. Because your choices matter, and those cannot be made for you. What you want to do is, in ways, more important than your past. No one can tell you who you want to be."
"Let me just think for a minute," Levi answered.
Rick simply nodded, giving Levi a smaller but gentler smile.
------
"That's all there is to it?" Paige asked.
The man across from her was elderly. Not in the sad way where he'd started losing faculties or had trouble getting around, just just an old man. He was dressed in a way that reminded her of a teacher, simple slacks and a tucked in polo. He sat on a simple stool in front of her, with a cane leaned against his thigh. His shoes looked like they'd seen at least half the things he had. And he'd asked her to call him Mr. Stowe.
He was cute, in the ways she thought old men were. He was someone she'd always smile and wave at, and let them talk even if he repeated himself ten times, and give a quick hug before going about her business.
He'd been kind and gentle through his explanation, which she admittedly hadn't understood entirely. But she felt she'd picked up most of it, definitely the important parts, and didn't care enough about the rest of it to ask him to explain more.
Now, he only gave her a gentle nod.
"It seems easy," she said.
"Shall we get started then?" He asked gently. "Just begin when you are ready."
Turns out it wasn't as easy as she'd thought. She'd opened her mouth to say something, and her mind just blanked.
She scrambled for a moment to think of anything. What did she want to be? What did she like? What was she interested in?
"Well... I like animals, so maybe..." she trailed off, regretting what she'd said. It was true that she loved animals, but she really wasn't good at training them and hadn't always been proud of how well she'd taken care of them. She felt guilty about that. She didn't want to end up with some tamer or trainer class, end up messing it up or being bad at it, and feel like crap about that all the time. Normally, those ideas would seem fun, but not when it felt like you were choosing your entire future.
Mr. Stowe simply raised a hand with a gentle smile. "That's quite enough, dear. Very well thought. I understand entirely. Let's move on. Just relax and say the first thing that comes to mind."
Paige wasn't sure why, because it wasn't in frustration, but she blurted out exactly what she was really thinking, "I... I don't know what I want. I don't know what I'm interested in. I don't know a fucking thing, and that pisses me off because everyone else seems to. I mean, I'm eighteen, how the fuck am I supposed to know? How the fuck does everyone else seem to?"
Paige paused for a breath, realizing her voice had steadily rose as she spoke. Calmer, she said, "So I guess that's what I want. I want to know what I want, or at least know how to figure it the fuck out."
Mr. Stowe smiled widely. "Very well spoken." After a moment, he gave her a nod for her to continue.
"I want to feel loved, but I don't feel like earning it all the fucking time. My parents, most of my family really... it always seems like I'm earning their love. And when I don't do what they want me to do, they withhold it. No, not to feel loved... that's not it.... I want this feeling of having to be worthy of love to go the fuck away. That's what I want. It sucks."
Mr. Stowe's smile was sadder. "I know, dear."
This time, he didn't have to urge her on. It was like a weight had lifted off her shoulders. "And I want to be a badass. I don't even really care how. But if I'm starting in this new world, I wanna be able to fuck shit up. I was in Taekwondo... I was pretty fucking good at it and wish I could have kept doing it. Maybe do something with that." She was grinning wildly, now.
Without her grin leaving her, tears started streaming down her face. She gave a small, relieved laugh, then kept talking. "You know, I was supposed to the first one in my family to go to college. It was a month away. And yeah, I'm kind of sad about it... but mostly I'm just so fucking relieved. I never wanted to go. I fucking hate school. It was never my dream."
Silence fell over the room for a few moments. Paige sat there staring at the ceiling, feeling emotions she couldn't quite place. Mostly better. Just better.
Clearing his throat, Mr. Stowe interrupted the silence. "Your assessment is complete." He paused for a moment, looking conflicted. "It's just... you are able to choose any class you qualify for, but... um... If you would allow me to do the kindness and privilege of assigning your class personally. Well... it could be the last decision you ever let anyone make for you...if...if that's what you wanted."
Paige met his eye. He seemed more worried about this than she was. She shrugged. "Sure. You know more about all of this than I do."
He smiled with joy.
Then a screen popped into her vision, or her mind... both. It was transparent, but the words were also in her mind, so she didn't struggle to read them at all.
Notifications began ringing out.
Ding. Beastfriend unlocked.
Ding. Quality 'Fearless' unlocked.
Ding. Quality 'Wild' unlocked.
Ding. Quality 'Free' unlocked.
Ding. Qualities 'Fearless,' 'Wild,' and 'Free' have consolidated. Quality 'Untamable' unlocked.
Ding. Class: Untamable Beastfriend selected.
Ding. Skill acquired: Beastspeak
Ding. Ability acquired: Share Traits (Beasts)
At first, Paige was worried about the Beastfriend class, given her earlier reservations about animal related classes. But as she read the description, she couldn't help but smile.
----
Untamable Beastfriend
While many classes dealing with animals seek to shape or control animals, the Beastfriend is a different beast altogether.
Beastfriends seek only to shape and control themselves through the mutual understanding and respect shared between the Beastfriend and the animals they interact with.
Over time, the Beastfriend will develop more and more animalistic traits.
While Beastfriends are often known to travel with animal companions, these animal companions keep their own agency and will. Other times, the Beastfriend may keep loose friendships with beasts in the forest, infrequently interacting.
But for every friendship, both the Beastfriend and beast benefit, sharing traits, stats, and skills.
As an 'Untamable' Beastfriend, you are even more prone to the wilds, finding civilization stifling. You are almost entirely unable to submit yourself to authority, and will suffer consequences to working under the command of others. You are nearly impossible to manipulate, control, or influence.
+1% experience to next level gained for each day spent in the wild.
+90% resistance to mental effects.
+50% to all stats when allied with beasts
-50% to all stats when affected by leadership buffs.
-5% stacking stat loss per consecutive days spent in civilization or safe zones. Debuff maxes out at a - 25% stat penalty.
Unable to gain experience while in civilization or safe zones.
------
Paige grinned like a lunatic at the page. Stats and skills were listed below, but she had no way of actually comparing the numbers to anything, and she would wait on the skills.
She did feel stronger, though, especially her legs. She stood from her own stool, squatted, and jumped. She was surprised to only get three feet high, but it wasn't that disappointing. It wasn't really superhuman strength, but a lot higher than she'd been able to jump before... and as a starting point...yeah, it was kind of amazing.
Looking up at Mr. Stowe, all she could manage was a strained, emotional squeak, "Thank you."
"It was my pleasure, dear." He meant that, too.
He'd found himself sympathetic to the girl and thought her personality was one he quite liked... even though she had cursed worse than most of the construction workers he was currently interviewing. He even found her unorthodox approach of absolutely ignoring how the assessment was supposed to be done as charming.
He'd even pushed it a little by handing out the 'Fearless' Quality, but she had needed it for the upgrade, and he easily justified it by acknowledging just how much courage it took to let yourself be that emotionally raw.
'Fearless,' indeed.
"What happens now?" Paige asked.
"I transport you to your starting safezone... and speaking of that... I uh... well, we usually do our very best to keep families together. Especially children with parents.
Unfortunately...and I'm sorry for this... but... because you are of a mature age, your situation wasn't as high of a priority. So I placed you in the closest safe zone to theirs. It is a mere month of travel on foot from them, and I can mark it on your map." Mr. Stowe was pushing the truth a bit here. He'd placed her there deliberately. He couldn't have controlling parents ruining her budding path.
Paige frowned, but after a moment, she seemed to shake it off. "It isn't that far away. I'll miss them, but I'll be glad for the break, honestly. I doubt I'll even try to get to them all that soon. Maybe I'll start missing them too much, but for now..."
"I understand. Well, I will send you off then."
With no warning or ceremony at all, Paige's mind faded to black.
Yet, Mr. Stowe remained for a moment... just wishing he'd been able to give even a breath's more guidance... Something tickled his face, and he reached and brushed it off. It was wet. Tears. Strange. He wasn't even human.
Then Mr. Stowe smiled sadly. He'd cease to be soon, at least as he was, but wasn't it wonderful to experience this? Wasn't it exciting to see what the future held for the next generation?
------
Levi was far more frustrating for the entity than his interaction with Paige. It wasn't the worst, by far, but Levi sure did like to metagame and find exploits. And he was frighteningly good at it.
Rick sat in mild annoyance as Levi asked another question most hadn't even thought to consider.
"Can I see everything I've unlocked as they are unlocked, instead of at the end?"
Levi had deliberately waited for this question. He had felt like this could be some hidden feature of the system, and if requested, it would automatically be allowed. But if Levi had asked right away, Rick may have withheld more of the information on the other questions to prevent exactly what was going on, metagaming. Or at least a daring attempt at it.
"Yes," Rick spoke through gritted teeth. "Now, are you finished asking ques-"
"Will you please ensure that feature is on, so I can see what I unlock as they are unlocked," Levi interrupted.
"Absolutely..." Rick grumbled.
Rick had never played D&D. He'd certainly never been a Dungeon Master for D&D, but he did have extensive knowledge of the game... of all games, actually. And he was certain, without any doubt whatsoever, Levi was the type of player that made DMs throw things other than dice.
A screen with notifications popped into Levi's view.
'Neat,' Levi thought.
Ding. Six basic classes unlocked.
With a thought, Levi realized he could see those classes if he wanted. It must be starting classes for people who didn't do well in the interview. A quick glance confirmed this. He only read as far fighter, archer, and sneak before closing the window.
Ding. Quality 'Annoying' unlocked.
Ding. Class 'Punk' unlocked.
"Wait, what..." Levi looked up to see Rick's smirk. "Ha. Ha. You're hilarious."
But Levi's eyes went back to the 'Quality' notification. "You never mentioned anything about qualities. What are those?"
Rick slapped his own forehead... hard. It looked like he had meant to just facepalm but decided he deserved real violence about halfway through. Levi immediately understood why, though. Rick had given out more information than he had intended.
Rick was indeed angry with himself. It wasn't just that he'd slipped up, but more that it was all his fault. He'd just wanted to get in a playful dig, but casually gave out information he was not supposed to share.
"Rick... please tell me what a 'Quality' is," Levi pressed.
Rick sighed and shook his head. "Can't. It is supposed to be a hidden feature until after the initial assessment is concluded."
Suddenly Rick, Mr. Stowe, or rather the entity that was both, gave a smile that betrayed his weariness. He thought of a girl named Paige, who he'd helped just a bit, just a teensie nudge, and he suddenly felt a bit fearless himself.
Rick met Levi's eye, "Truthfully, I'd like to explain. I can't. But from what you now know, and all your meta bullshit, I'm pretty sure you can figure it out. But listen, wording is critical. You asked that other question before, the one about excluding certain parts of experiences... and I answered no. But, you're presenting an argument with each petition. Justification. True down to the word." Rick breathed deeply. "You are going to owe me for what I'm about to tell you. Promise me you'll do me a... favor. One small favor."
Levi narrowed his eyes. "Okay... what favor."
Rick pulled out a coin and tossed it over with a flip. "This is for Paige. Tell her that Mr. Stowe said to use it when she feels she needs him the most." Rick stared seriously. "I'll make sure you end up in the same starting area. Just swear you'll get it to her. And there's no point in keeping it, because it won't do anything for you..." Rick paused for a moment and then amended his statement, "...not that you would keep it, you're not that kind of person. But you'd definitely accidentally forget about it entirely."
Levi looked at the coin in his hand, "Paige, huh. Must be really special if this favor is for her. What is this thing, anyway? And why didn't this Stowe, which is essentially you you in a different outfit, give it to her before."
"Won't tell you what it is. And it isn't entirely unique or anything, I just have limited ability to grant them. Very limited. And the reason I'm giving it to you to give to her is because she technically didn't meet the requirements to permit me to do so. While you technically do. I'm kind of cheating, here."
"And you aren't giving me this one? That's hurtful. I get it, though... you have to keep things fair and balanced. I'd probably be way too OP if you gave me one, huh."
"Yep. Thank you for reminding me why I don't actually like you," Rick replied dryly, but he had a hard time hiding a small smile beneath his mask of annoyance.
He knew Levi didn't actually mean it either, and the cocksure comment was entirely humor. The truth was Levi was a worrying and second guessed himself a lot. Which is why Rick was still stuck here in the damned interview when most others had already concluded.
"This is my final advice. And I mean that. No more questions and no more answers.
Think about it like a lawyer, or the fae in fantasy and lore. You can use whatever wording you want, and the system must accept it...
...if you're clever enough, you can talk your way into just about anything. You get me?
However, even if you unlock powerful classes, if you choose one that doesn't fit, you will actually be hurting your path in the long run." Rick gave Levi a pointed look.
Levi nodded. "Thank you. If that's all you can really share, I guess I'm done asking questions. But I need a little time to think." Levi's mind spun. He understood what Rick meant, yet the possible outcomes swirled in his mind. It was hard to just come up with a simple plan.
The entity known as Rick was fine with turning his attention to a few other lagging interviews. Some were even far more annoying than Levi could be.
After over an hour, Levi was ready.
------
"First, I want a class that has great combat potential. As for what makes me qualified, I submit only the fact that I was a U.S. Marine and world wide reputation, rumors, and myths about U.S. Marines."
Rick nodded. "When the myth is bigger than the man... smart."
He had understood what Levi was thinking perfectly. Had the system actually evaluated his personal experiences as a Marine, most were kind of mundane. Sure, he'd done and seen a lot, but nothing that could come close to comparing to the legend that the U.S. Marines were to many people across the world.
And while he was sure that plenty of people saw the Marines in a more realistic light, leaving it to public opinion would still lead to the better results.
His notifications went wild. Over two dozen classes were unlocked. All combat related. Most were pretty basic, but Marauder, Raider, and Legionnaire all seemed like advanced classes. He'd hoped for something a little better, but overall public opinion couldn't be too unrealistic, he supposed.
What was more astonishing were the number of Qualities unlocked. He guessed at least fifty without counting. Most were about what you'd expect. Hell, the entire "JJ DID TIE BUCKLE" was represented, and he definitely saw 'Honorable,' 'Courageous,' and 'Committed.' But not all of them were good Qualities. He saw Murderous, Bloodthirsty, Battle-weary, and one that actually made him chuckle, 'Womanizing'.
Levi moved onto his second petition. He'd thought about it a lot. And between Rick's reference to the fae and the importance 'articulation' had on petitions, Levi had the idea that maybe a bit of tasteful, poetic embellishment and grandeur may provide something significant.
"I want to be an explorer and adventurer. And I've more than shown it suits me.
I have put boots on four continents. I have swam in three oceans, and sailed in even more seas. I have watched the sun set on sixteen different nations. I have broken my fast in forty-seven of the fifty states of my home nation.
Four times, I've seen two continents within the same moment, on a single breath... for I passed the Pillar of Heracles from the west and kept vigil there and across the path that Moses lead his people out of Egypt.
I have been banqueted by a prince of a foreign land, of another language and religion, because I trained men of his army. I drank until I couldn't walk with Legionnaires collected from across the world. I have been hosted by more than one foreign family, for moments, for a night, for days. I wooed a woman who couldn't pronounce my name, and I suffered the consequences of that stupidity.
I've been stranded for a month in a foreign land when I could not even understand the language. And I thrived.
I've crossed mountains and deserts. I've taken walks through plains and taken boats through swamps. If I'm measuring the miles I've traveled in the thousands, I've still lost track. I've walked the streets I was told were too dangerous, with my chin held high. I've spoken with people I was told were too different, and I never had to lie.
And after all that I've cherished and all that I've suffered, I still haven't had enough."
Rick's laugh carried on a moment after Levi finished. "WOW. You laid it on thick. You truly do know how to twist a boring truth into something eyecatching. I guess a couple years in political journalism and a hobby in poetry is a monstrous mix in the right circumstances..." He then began a slow clap, "To be 100% true and yet 100% bullshit at the very same time, while churching it up to sound that pretty. Points for that alone. Over 6 billion interviews, and this is truly top tier... and do you have any idea how many narcissists I've dealt with tod..."
Rick paused as he saw Levi's glower. "Hey, don't be sour. I meant it genuinely. You nailed it. What's that thing the younger kids say these days, you 'understood the ass...'
...OH fuck me. That makes it worse. I just watched the music video in my head. Levi, if you've never seen that one, be glad we have already scrubbed it from your world.
But, honestly, I wasn't being sarcastic, you did actually nail that petition."
Levi relaxed a bit.
Though, Levi did catch the bit about the music video being scrubbed from the world. He didn't think Rick had the authority to do that on his own, no matter how much Rick hated the song. He suspected it meant almost all media was wiped from Earth. Which was sad. He'd miss a lot of music.
Levi shook it off. He had a plan. As far as his notifications were concerned, it was working. He'd unlocked at least twice as many classes, though fewer qualities. He didn't read the notifications but saw a few as they dinged in front of him and his mind. Conqueror and Aspiring Emperor seemed powerful, but also like giant targets on his back.
But what he did see was that about half of the new classes were a mix between the two petitions. That kind of verified his theory.
So, rather than worry about the notifications and continue scanning them, he chose to move to his next petition.
"I want a class capable of using magic and other intelligence based mechanics. I've always had an intelligence of a higher percentile than my peers and often pursued interests that reflected that." Short and simple. Entirely true.
Again, the notifications rolled in.
"I don't want a class dependent on social constructs. I don't mind the occasional skill or mechanic with social roots, but I want a class that can thrive while entirely ignoring social expectations." Again, simple, but more what Levi did not want than what he did, in this case.
After the the first two, the third and forth had been simple and easy. He'd thought about doing or saying more, but felt it may actually undo what he was intending. He only needed to meet basic requirements with those.
But this next one had his heart in his throat.
Levi took a deep breath. He'd planned this speech. This was perhaps the most important petition. It tied everything together. Every time he'd rehearsed it in his mind, it was slightly different, but he pulled it together.
He was pretty sure he had it down now.
"I want to be capable of being great at anything I work hard enough at. I want to be able to pick up any skill or spell or craft, even if I have to work incredibly hard for it. I don't want to be limited by a class that determines there is something I am not capable of doing or being..."
Levi started really getting into it. He felt the words he was saying. He meant them. He leaned into that.
He went off script.
"I don't have to be the best at anything, and certainly not everything. But I want to be good at anything I put my mind to. My whole life, I've picked up tons of hobbies and interests, and some I pursued endlessly and others were a fling. I've learned about things for no other reason than the pleasure of learning. I've failed a dozen times only to have one success, and then moved on.
This is what brings me joy.
And I used to hate myself for not having a one track mind, but now I find pleasure in who I am. I can always revisit forgotten hobbies or skills and improve. And those always grow with me. They may be forgotten for a while, but they are never lost.
But I can't be constricted to only learn what some system or class defines me as. I am someone who chases experiences and knowledge and developing new skills. I want to be able to experience it all... so... I refuse any class that isn't that, because it isn't who I am."
At first, Levi felt great. He usually didn't let loose like that... then his stomach dropped. That was not what he'd planned to say. His horror only grew as the notifications rolled in.
Six Basic Classes have been revoked.
Quality 'Annoying' has been revoked.
Class 'Punk' has been revoked.
But those were just the first three of... everything.
Levi watched in horror as every class and quality he had unlocked was revoked, one by one.
Ding. Revoked.
Ding. Revoked.
Ding. Revoked.
Ding. Revoked.
Ding. Revoked.
Ding. Revoked.
Ding. Revoked.
Ding. Revoked.
Ding. Revoked.
Ding. Revoked.
The notifications went on and on.
Levi let out a combination of a whine and a sigh. "Well... I fucked that up. Fuck, I hate interviews. I always fuck it up right at the end."
And Rick just laughed and laughed.