NOVEL NEXT Chapter 9: 9- Working Through Some Things
Delta Jax's POV
Gazing at Emily's profile again, I see she has posted the guy she claimed was 'only a friend' just five months back and my chest ached. Social media will be the end of me.
Inside me, Blue shakes his head, in disapproval.
I thought I had everything figured out. I am young, I could fall in love, or not, play around with a bunch of human girls- women whatever, and have an enjoyable time until I get my mate. I knew there was a chance that the human I was with would receive some sort of degree of hurt when I got my mate and broke up with her. But I figured I would cross that bridge when I came to it.
Only Emily spun me faster.
Blue is not much of a talker and he broods silently. My affairs are mine, and his is his. He did not like the whole idea of human dating but he is a supernatural creature that is made for one and will wait for that one. He made it abundantly clear that he wants nothing to do with the 'human courtship' when he already knows when he will get his mate.
It's his near favourite line.
Of course, he feels what I do but he chooses to separate it. Most times when I am hurting from a break-up- and I have had a few, Blue puts a barrier between us. When I am intimate with anyone, he does the same. But he is a pal. When I am hungover, he is there to absorb everything and within fifteen minutes, I am good as new.
He's a good confidant too. A bit judgemental but who the h*ck is there for him to run his yap to?
He smiles inside my head, his long tongue hanging out. My wolf loves my playful abuse towards him.
With Blue's alertness, I was able to study better. His eyes were stronger than mine. His brain is faster. His ability to withstand an everyday life with two hours of sleep has worked for us greatly. I'm twenty-six and already a doctor. Well, when I return to-
My wolf thinks I am a sappy mess at the moment and he wishes I would 'be a man'- it's something he picked up from my mundane friends when we hung out- and let Emily go. Eventually, I will, I just need to work through it first.
He also thinks I should remain here and not return to my residency.
Pulling in my lips, my tears drop onto my bare thighs- gym shorts, I'm not on my sofa naked. Throwing my phone on the sofa next to me, I cover my face with my hands. I thought I was falling in love with Emily and that she felt the same. But she used me for notes it seemed. She said she thought we were 'just f*cking' and left our tiny one-bedroom apartment at the very same hour.
The very next day was my exam. Without Blue...like I said, he's a real buddy.
While Emily was correct, and I was the one who made sure we talked about it clearly and understood that no feelings were involved, I was the one who got hurt in the end.
My phone buzzed. Wiping my eyes with the bottom of my t-shirt, I pick up the phone. Sigh, it's Meg, again.
What's great about today?
I have only one month remaining, to make up my mind and sign the contract. My mum settled me in- she insisted, but she will return to our new home with my stepfather and half-brother in a few days from now, after she visits some of her old friends and family members- ex-in-laws that I must make a trip to see myself. She wanted nothing more to do with this life we had left behind but she said my father's family did not do wrong by her, so why shun them?
It's a female thing, I guess. It just proves how different I am from my mother. I would have locked everyone off if I claimed to want nothing to do with this life. But I do like being part wolf. I enjoy the thrill of being wild, carefree and naked. Nothing but me and the insects and other wild animals there. I like that I am not hunted but the hunter.
Apex. Top predator of the food chain and highest in the ecosystem.
I think I began feeling this way when I lost touch a bit and haven't felt much like myself in years since then.
Not since my father turned out to be an *sshole and almost cost the pack our alpha- previous alpha- some years back. No worries, the alpha died under other circumstances that had nothing to do with my cowardly father- a plane going down and my father a vehicular accident less than two weeks later.
No, not related.
But the shame we faced afterwards. If it had not been for our thick hides, we would not have made it. Not to mention the reason behind our thick skins was because of our wolves. Their power refused to allow humiliation- my parents were both children of betas, so their wolves were powerful.
How I am delta? It stands to reason with your affiliation with the pack. And since I hardly associated with the pack members, I lost my wolf aura a bit and became Delta. No worries there, it's what I wanted. I did not fit in with this blood and gore lifestyle here. I would have preferred the human world but I do not fit in there completely.
Not with Blue. I think this is the reason behind his 'coolness' with me. Not cool as in chill with me but cool as in he hardly gets involved with me. One time he allowed me to get beat when I was robbed. He later said it was my choice to dwell with the humans.
Other than that one time- if I get angry outside the borders of the wolfpack; on the human side, Blue will get me in trouble with his heightened emotions- namely anger. Because of him, I go from 1 to 100 real quick. There is almost no in-between with us.
Moreover, my wolf would have preferred to remain as gamma and he was disappointed when he realised my intention as a young teen when the elders of the pack were training me to control him.
But he knew his place. I am in control of us. And we follow my rules.
Except her. He reads my thoughts but does not say much about it- now. A first he got angry with me and demanded we return to our pack where he felt my mate was at. She needed to see us to acknowledge us so the Moon Goddess could forge the mate bond. At my age, I probably should have been getting certain vibrations, indicating my mate was matched but we got nothing.
He dismisses it with, maybe I am a late bloomer.
Whatever. It does not affect me one way or the other. If I get my mate yay and if I don't still yay- okay maybe not 'yay' but ...you know. It just doesn't bother me like the other wolves I have met. They seem to base their life on that one thing- finding their mate.
I do not reply to Megan's text.
How could she stay here after all this time? The pack ill-treated her. She has no family here to say she has strings attached. No mate. She's free to leave and never return. Find herself a new pack where they would treat her like a regular person.
She could get an actual job, make actual friends, and get a place of her own.
To return here and see how she had remained the same shell of a person was almost heartbreaking. The constant crying and mood swings made me sad to see what my friend had become. To know she couldn't even afford a jacket made me wonder about what her salary was like and who she worked for.
I mean I know it's the main house because she is omega but after whom? The beta, the alpha, the pack, the cooking, the cleaning, the stables? Was she a farm hand? And why was her salary so low?
Scarlette Bail- she no longer carried the same last name as me. Scarlette Mc Lean, my mother, wanted nothing to do with a pack where the alpha allowed the mistreatment of others. I shared my mother's view, unfortunately. Unlike most members of this pack, we had come across other packs that functioned normally- sure there were ranks but nobody was bullied because of it.
I like Blue's idea. A bit of hunting will do him some good- he grins happily at that- and a run out in the thick forest ought to clear my mind up a bit. The profound freedom and exhilaration of wind rushing through our fur, the earth beneath our paws, and the wild smells of everything outdoors.
While I have no real love of being in a pack where I would be bound to every word the alpha barks at me, I do love the freedom of letting go of myself. Becoming one with the open forestry. That connection I get with the surroundings, a feeling of comfort, of belonging there. It's a playground and a sanctuary. I become what's natural to me. Untamed and unrestrained.