Chapter 53: prison break
Wade burst into Lex Luthor's lair, practically skipping with excitement. The chaotic energy radiated from him like a kid who'd just painted a picture of his dad. "Lex! You'll never believe what just went down!" he exclaimed, his voice bubbling over with enthusiasm.
Lex glanced up from his desk, clearly trying to keep his expression neutral but unable to hide a slight feeling. "I can already guess it involves a lot of blood and questionable decisions."
"Bingo! I just had a little chat with some thugs," Wade said, plopping down in a chair and leaning forward, practically vibrating with energy. "Let me tell you, I think I might have just unlocked the secret to their 'Owl Guy' Avenger. we got It!"
Lex raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "And did any of them tell you where Owlman is?"
"Oh, absolutely!" Wade replied, waving his hands in a casual gesture. "Or at least they would.... if~ I hadn't gotten carried away.... You see, it turns out I have a flair for interrogation. But not in a good way~"
"Wade," Lex interrupted, his tone shifting to one of seriousness. "That's all great, but we have more important issues.... Cheshire has been captured"
And.... Sportsmaster is in... a coma. We can't proceed with the Owlman situation until we sort this out!."
Wade's animated chatter halted abruptly, his excitement deflating like a popped balloon. "Wait, what? Jade? Captured?!"
"Exactly," Lex replied, leaning back in his chair, his fingers steepled. "We need to focus on rescuing her before she spills something. It is critical we ensure she's safe first.....or dead"
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The chapter opened with Wade perched on the edge of a massive LexCorp aircraft, goggles strapped over his mask and a gleeful grin plastered across his face. Mercy, ever composed, looked at him with an arched eyebrow as if she were questioning her entire life's choices up to this point.
"Wade," she asked, her voice flat, "are you sure the plane and the bomb are necessary?"
"Oh, absolutely!" Wade said, practically vibrating with excitement. "I've always wanted to try this since I saw that video in Battlefield! You know the one — bomber, plane guy jumps, boom! Total epicness."
Mercy sighed, clearly resigned. "The bomb was supposed to be a contingency plan, not your cue for a stunt."
Wade shrugged nonchalantly, adjusting the bomb strapped to his chest with a few quick tugs to make sure it was secure. "A mere 'contingency'? Oh, Mercy, darling, that's where you're wrong. This is art. Imagine it: hero—ahem," he coughed dramatically, "—anti-hero swoops in from the sky, rain of fiery explosions, tactical yet chaotic entrance—think Die Hard meets, like… James Bond on a really weird day."
Mercy's patience was legendary, but even she took a moment to breathe before responding. "If you succeeded this," she muttered under her breath, "hope I don't get fired...."
Wade caught that last part and shot her a finger gun. "Mercy! You're on board the hype train!" He pointed at her. "I knew I could count on you. Alright, let's light this candle!"
He gave her a salute, then leapt backward out of the aircraft, arms spread wide as he plummeted toward the dark fortress below, screaming,
"Yeeeeehaaaaww!"
*photo hear*
Cheshire pov:
Cheshire sat quietly in her cell, her eyes half-closed, her mind a quiet fortress of patience and planning. She wasn't expecting a dramatic breakout, but she was expecting someone—someone familiar, precise, and, most importantly, silent.
Suddenly, the walls seemed to vibrate with what sounded suspiciously like a battle cry. Her ears barely registered the "COWABUNGAAAAA!" before a muffled thud followed by an explosion shook the entire prison. Bits of ceiling dusted down as alarms blared, red lights flashing in wild panic..
emerging from the smoke like some deranged action star. "Ohhh Cheshire, surpriseee ! your prince is hereee~" Wade Wilson—crazy, chaotic Wade Wilson—stumbled into the cell in a cloud of chaos that he must have… packed himself? He grinned wildly, adjusting his mask and striking a wild pose.
He tore off his goggles and tossed them aside with a flourish. "Jade!" he exclaimed, voice full of exaggerated joy. "Guess who's here to bust you out? I brought a plane and a bomb, and I may or may not have peed myself!"
Cheshire blinked, staring at him. "You're not… Sportsmaster."
Wade threw his arms out like he'd just unveiled the Mona Lisa. "I know! Total upgrade, right?" He gave her a thumbs-up.
She crossed her arms, unimpressed. "Where is he? He was supposed to get me out of here."
"Oh, right, right." Wade scratched his head, a ridiculous look of feigned concern crossing his face. "About that… sports dude is, uh, in a coma."
Cheshire's eyes narrowed. "A coma?"
"Yeah," Wade said, his tone suddenly theatrical. "Tragic. Tragic, really. No one knows what happened. Maybe, he… uh…" Wade held up a finger and looked at the ceiling as if searching for inspiration, then snapped his fingers. "Maybe he stepped on ten syringes filled with insulin.....Poor guy just passed out from a lack of sugar!" He chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. "Who knew that a life of villainy could be so tragic?"