The Adeventures of DeadPool (and Young Justice)

The lobby of LexCorp tower gleamed with opulence, all polished marble floors and high glass ceilings, buzzing with the murmur of important people moving through their day. At the front desk, however, the scene was anything but smooth.

"I demand to see Mr. Luthor right now," shrieked a woman with an air of self-importance so strong that it could stop traffic. Dressed in an expensive fur coat, oversized sunglasses perched on top of her perfectly coiffed hair, and a handbag that screamed wealth, she glared at Mercy Graves with the ferocity of a caged animal.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," Mercy responded, her tone professional but firm. "Mr. Luthor isn't available for any unscheduled—"

"You listen to me, sweetheart," the woman snapped, leaning closer and pointing a manicured finger in Mercy's face. "I don't care who you think you are, but my husband and I have more money in our couch cushions than you'll see in your lifetime. I will not be disrespected like this. I will see Lex Luthor, and I will see him now."

The receptionist remained unfazed, calmly blocking her access to the elevator. "Mr. Luthor doesn't take walk-ins, ma'am. You can schedule an appointment."

"Oh, an appointment," the woman scoffed, her voice dripping with contempt. "Do you have any idea who I am? I'm Mrs. Venice, and my husband—"

At that moment, the elevator to Lex Luthor's private floor opened. Lex himself emerged, cutting an imposing figure in his tailored suit, his presence immediately shifting the air in the room.

Mercy straightened as he approached, and even Mrs. Venice paused for a beat, clearly unused to being in the presence of someone with more power than her wealth could buy. But Lex wasn't looking at Mercy or the guards; his gaze was fixed squarely on Mrs. Venice.

"Mrs. Venice," he said, his voice smooth and measured. "I've been expecting you."

The entitled woman blinked, her bluster momentarily fading. "You... you have?"

"Of course. Come with me." Lex's smile was disarming, his charm wrapping around the room like a predator stalking its prey.

Mercy and the guards exchanged confused glances but said nothing as Lex placed his hand gently on Mrs. Venice's back and guided her toward his office. Her haughty demeanor returned immediately, and she smirked at the others as if to say, See? Told you I was important.

Once inside the lavishly appointed office, Lex closed the door behind them. He moved to his desk, casually taking a seat while Mrs. Venice walked toward the middle of the room, her back still to him.

"I knew you were a smart man, Luthor," she said, her tone dripping with self-satisfaction. "I'm sure we can work something out—"

The sound of something peeling—no, ripping—echoed through the room. Mrs. Venice's movements froze, and Lex's eyes narrowed as the figure before him started to shake.

It wasn't fear.

It was laughter.

A deep, familiar chuckle. And then, in one smooth, horrifying motion, Mrs. Venice reached up and pulled off her face.

"Ta-da!" Wade Wilson exclaimed, tossing the disturbingly lifelike mask aside like an old hat. His face, complete with a wide grin and eyes gleaming with mischief, stared at Lex with unbridled glee. "Did you miss me, Lecy?"

Lex's expression didn't change; he simply leaned back in his chair, an amused smirk forming. "Deadpool. I suppose you completed the mission."

Wade strolled up to the desk, spinning the Wabbajack lazily in his hand. "Oh, you bet your shiny bald head I have! Mission accomplished, and no one even noticed Who I was !Poor ol' Mercy out there is probably wondering why she didn't just hit me with a taser and call it a day."

Lex regarded the staff with a measured gaze. "The staff?"

Wade leaned in, placing the Wabbajack onto the desk with a flourish. "Just as you ordered, sir. One chaos-infused, potentially deadly artifact for your collection." He winked. "Handle with care."

One of the guards stepped forward, reaching for the staff. Wade's hand shot out in an instant, grabbing the guard's wrist. "Uh-uh-uh," he tsked. "You don't wanna touch this bad boy unless you like sudden death."

The guard narrowed his eyes, challenging Wade. "Is this a threat ?"

"More like a friendly heads-up," Wade replied, grinning. "Son, you have a right to refuse his order, and I guarantee you're going to die if you touch me. And there's no afterlife. Everything just goes black. Don't do it."

Ignoring Wade's warning, the guard touched the staff. In an instant, a flash of energy engulfed him, and he collapsed to the floor, lifeless.

"Yeah," Wade said, nodding enthusiastically.

"What was that?" Lex inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Death," Wade stated matter-of-factly.

"What kind?" Lex pressed, intrigued.

"Instant," Wade replied with a flourish.

Lex's brow furrowed slightly. "There was no sound. He just... Died." he then paused "That's... terrifying."

"It's called a deterrent," Wade said, his grin widening.

Lex smirked, his eyes glinting with interest. "Couldn't you just knock him out?"

Wade rolled his eyes dramatically. "How is knocking someone out a deterrent? Everyone wants to be knocked out! Nobody wants to be dead!