The Adeventures of DeadPool (and Young Justice)

many thanks to our patreon members:Axel GerardJosé Henrique

SKYNEX21

Vodst

Wilhelm

Yggdrasil

Theo Delliquadri

Vinay Kakkera

________________________________________________-I blinked a few times, the world swimming back into focus. Everything felt off. My mouth tasted like metal, and my head pounded as if someone had been playing the drums inside my skull.

"Wh... where am I?" I muttered, trying to sit up. A clank echoed in the small room as I realized my wrists were chained to a cold metal chair. Fantastic. My entire body felt sticky, like I'd just taken a dip in the world's grossest swimming pool. "And why does it smell like I was swimming in a toilet?"

I blinked, my head pounding like I'd been swimming in a vat of... well, I wasn't sure what. But the stench hit me hard—like I'd just taken a deep dive in shit. "Wh... where is this? Why do I smell like I was swimming in the toilet?" I groaned, trying to move. Chains rattled, and that's when I realized I was chained up, strapped to some uncomfortable chair.

From the shadows stepped none other than Lex Luthor, wearing his usual crisp black suit, smug expression plastered across his face like he was born with it. "You thought you could escape me?"

I blinked again, trying to shake off the dizziness. "Oh, great. And here I was, hoping this was one of those nightmare sequences where I wake up, and everything's fine."

Lex smirked, stepping closer. "I only let you join their little team so you would know the truth. But the truth! ,Wade... you don't fit in there."

I let out a breathy laugh. "Over my dead body.....bodies," I said, shaking the chains for dramatic effect.

"Well," Lex replied smoothly, ignoring my sarcasm, "it doesn't matter anyway. I heard you bragging about wanting to be a mercenary. So here's your first job." He threw a file onto the table in front of me, the papers sliding out just enough to catch the words Court of Owls.

Lex's smirk didn't falter. "As long as I want that," he said, voice dripping with controlled irritation, "we can't go to all-out war with them. Not yet."

I stared at the mission sheet, knowing I wasn't done playing my cards just yet. But the stink of toilets was really starting to get to me.

I glanced at the papers, then back at Lex. "Hmmm," I said, biting my lip in mock thought, "why don't you ask daddy to do it for you? Heard he's pretty good at getting things done."

I blinked a few times, trying to push through the fog in my head. The chains rattled as I shifted. "And what would I get for it?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "A nice penthouse view? Maybe a lifetime supply of soap so I don't have to keep smelling like a sewer?"

Lex's smirk remained, but I could see the frustration twitching at the corner of his eye. "You're in no position to negotiate, Wilson. As long as I want that,"

Lex's smirk deepened, his tone dripping with faux generosity. "Well, you can think of it as a thank you for the job," he said smoothly. "And, since I'm feeling particularly generous... I'll give you a million for completing it." He paused, letting the offer sink in before adding, "Two million, if you're not discovered."

I leaned my head back, staring at the ceiling, pretending to consider it. "Oh, a million bucks? Now you've got my attention. But two million? For sneaking around like a ninja?~"

I grinned, eyes glinting with mischief as I freed myself from the chains with a flick of my wrist. The metal clattered to the floor, and I stood up from the chair, stretching my arms as if I'd just had a nice nap.

"Well then," I said, dusting off my imaginary dust, "and what's the deadline for this little task?"

Lex's smirk wavered for a moment before he replied coolly, "One month."

I nodded, turning towards the exit with a casual swagger. "Got it. A month to make a mess and get paid. Sounds like a plan~~"

As I made my way to the door, Lex's voice cut through the air, sharp and commanding. "Oh, and Wade—one more thing. Please kill everyone here on your way out. Can't have any witnesses."

I turned back, feigning surprise. "Hey, hey, Captain," I said with a playful salute~

With that, I strolled out of the room like I was leaving a particularly boring dinner party, whistling a jaunty tune as I went. Behind me, Lex's voice echoed with a final, cold command. "And remember, Wade—don't screw this up."

I waved over my shoulder without looking back. "No promises!"

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