The Adeventures of DeadPool (and Young Justice)

Author here~I decided after some research that i will try the suicide squad root...but not now...BC the canon says there are still some years before the Task Force X begins....so imma do a little prison time and then escape for mercenary work~enjooooy

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The courtroom was filled with a heavy silence as the judge prepared to deliver the verdict. Wade Wilson, shackled and dressed in an orange jumpsuit, lounged comfortably in the defendant's chair, twirling a pencil between his fingers.

The judge's gavel struck sharply, cutting through the murmur of the room. "Mr. Wilson, is there anything you wish to say before I deliver the sentence?"

Wade looked up from his magazine with a casual grin. "Oh, I've got a little something I'd like to share.

The judge raised an eyebrow, clearly unamused. "i advise you choose your words carefully. Speak now or be silent."

Ignoring the judge's tone, Wade stood up and cleared his throat dramatically.

"♪ Maybe I'm foolish, Maybe I'm blind, Thinking I can see through this And see what's behind. Got no way to prove it, So maybe I'm lying. ♪"

The judge stared at him, taken aback. "I beg your pardon?"

Wade continued singing without missing a beat, his voice carrying through the room.

"♪ But I'm only human after all, I'm only human after all, Don't put your blame on me, Don't put your blame on me. ♪"

The courtroom fell into an uneasy silence, with spectators and court officials exchanging bewildered glances. The judge, visibly exasperated, struggled to maintain her composure.

"Mr. Wilson, your behavior is wholly inappropriate. I must remind you that this court is serious."

Wade, unfazed, continued his performance with an exaggerated flourish. His irreverent antics only seemed to heighten the tension in the room.

"♪ Take a look in the mirror, And what do you see? Do you see it clearer Or are you deceived In what you believe? ♪"

The judge pounded her hammer repeatedly, trying to regain control. "Order! Mr. Wilson, your behavior is unacceptable. You are hereby sentenced to life in prison."

Wade gave a dramatic bow, still singing. "♪ I'm only human after all, Don't put your blame on me. ♪"

As the officers rushed in to escort him out...

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The heavy iron gates of Belle Reve creaked open with a resounding groan as Wade Wilson was led into the intake processing area by a pair of stern-faced guards. The prison was an imposing structure, its cold, grey walls stark against the dull, overcast sky. Wade, with his characteristic blend of nonchalance and curiosity, took in his new surroundings with wide-eyed fascination.

"Alright, pussies," amanda waller, said aggressively. "This is Belle Reve. You're about to find out just what that means....You're here because you've did a lot of shit , and now you'll be spending the honeymoon in our lovely hotel."

Wade hopped down, taking a deep breath. "Oh man, you can really feel the vibe here. Dark, creepy, and full of bad guys who probably smell like old gym socks..... Classic ! Do we get a tour first? Or maybe an recommendations!!"

The guard gave him a sidelong glance, not even bothering to reply, and led him through the gates. Wade's eyes lit up as he passed through the metal detectors and into the processing area. It was exactly what he imagined prison would be—grey walls, hard floors, and that signature "seductive" scent of chaos and despair.

Once inside, another guard—a tall woman with a clipboard—stepped up and began listing off the rules like a tired school teacher. "Wilson. You're at Belle Reve now. We don't tolerate any funny business. You'll follow the schedule, respect the guards, and stay in line. Got it?"

Wade raised his hand like an eager student. "Ooh, ooh, quick question! Is there a cool-down room? You know, for when things get too intense. I've read about those in fancy prisons....

The woman didn't miss a beat,like she deals a lot with people like him. "You'll have exercise time in the yard, and if you keep asking questions, you'll find out what solitary looks like."

Wade beamed. "Ah, solitary. Classic! I can handle it....if you gave me my unicorn~ i really can't live without Miss Betsy....

The guard ignored him, her patience clearly wearing thin. She motioned to one of the guards, who placed a sleek metal collar around Wade's neck.

"What's this?" Wade asked, poking the collar. "Some kind of supervillain bling? Oh, wait, wait, don't tell me—it suppresses my powers, right? Like a dampening field or something? Can I get one that's chrome-plated?"

"It's a power-suppressing collar," the guard replied flatly. "Stops your superpowers from working or doing anything… annoying."

As soon as she finished her sentence, Wade dramatically clutched his chest, staggering backward "Oh no! My powers! They're... they're gone!" He fell to his knees, hands shaking as he gasped for breath. " I can't... I can't feel my penis! Oh God, this is it—tell betsy I love her..."

The guard rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "Get up, Wilson."

"Can't... too weak..." Wade wheezed, lying flat on the floor, eyes fluttering closed. "Tell Batman... Delete my search history..."

The guard nudged him with her boot. "Get up, or I'll make sure you really feel weak."

Wade popped right back up, grinning."Just kidding! daamn, this thing really messes with my power"

The guard sighed, gesturing for Wade to follow as she led him deeper into the facility. As they walked through the corridors of Belle Reve, Wade's eyes darted everywhere, taking in every detail like a kid in a candy store.

"Are there any famous prisoners here? Like, supervillains with ridiculous powers? Ooh, do any of them do magic? I always wanted to meet a magician! And what about the food? Is it any good? Because let me tell you, I'm kind of picky, and if they don't hav___"

guard stopped suddenly, turning to face Wade. "Enough," she snapped, her voice laced with irritation. "This isn't a field trip. Keep your mouth shut, or I'll make sure the next few weeks are a lot less enjoyable for you."

Wade blinked innocently. "Oh, come on. You wouldn't ~"

"Keep moving," she ordered, pointing down the hall. Wade resumed walking, but his curiosity didn't fade.

As they passed by the cells, Wade leaned in, peering through the bars like a kid trying to get a closer look at zoo animals. "Hey, what's your deal, buddy?" he asked a particularly large inmate, who growled in response. "What's your power? Super strength? Or maybe laser vision? You look like a laser vision kind of guy."

The inmate glared at him, fists clenched. "Why don't you come in here and find out?"

Wade straightened up, looking impressed. "Oooh, feisty. I like it. I bet you're a hit at prison~." He turned to the guard. "Do you guys have any games? If so, sign me up. I'm kind of an expert at olympics games—"

As Wade entered the processing room, he couldn't help but notice the strange, wierd atmosphere. The room was lined with fluorescent lights, casting a cold, clinical glow over everything. There were a few guards standing by, clearly bored with their job of overseeing the new arrivals. Several inmates were already in the room, going through various stages of the process, some looking annoyed, others just resigned to the routine.

"Alright, Wilson. Strip down," the guard in charge said without any preamble.

Wade blinked, tilting his head like a confused puppy. "Wait, what? You mean… naked naked? Or are we talking, like, fun naked where I get a hot shower with soup bubbles ?and then relax under the fan with just a bathrobe"

"No robe. Just naked. Standard procedure," she replied flatly, clearly having dealt with this kind of question before.

"All right, Wilson, here," one of the guards ordered, tossing a standard prison uniform in his direction.

Wade caught it, holding it up like it was some grand treasure. "Oh, yay! My official villain costume. Can I accessorize with a cape, or is that, like, against the rules?"

The guard just sighed and pointed at him. "Strip."

With an exaggerated sigh of resignation, Wade started to undress, pulling off his gear piece by piece. "Oh, you want the full show, huh? Well, you should've bought tickets. I don't usually do this for free, but hey, for you guys..."

He began slipping out of his pants, making dramatic poses, pretending to blush as if he were some shy schoolgirl. "Ooooh, don't look~ I'm so embarrassed~!"

The guards groaned audibly, and one of them even turned away in disgust.

As Wade stood completely naked, striking ridiculous poses, one guard's face turned pale. Another visibly recoiled, trying to suppress a gag. "You've got to be kidding me..." she muttered, stepping back.

Wade looked over his shoulder with a devilish grin. "What, too much? I know, I know. They say I'm like Ryan Reynolds, but honestly, I don't see the resemblance." He winked.

That was it. One of the guards lost it, rushing to the corner of the room and retching violently. Another one, his face ....twisted in sheer disgust, looked away, pinching the bridge of his nose as if it might help him recover from the horror show in front of him

Wade, not missing a beat, called after the vomiting guard, "I get that reaction a lot! Trust me, it's all natural—no surgeries here!"

One of the prisoners in the back, shackled to a bench, looked at Wade with wide eyes. He jumped on his chains in panic. "Get me out of here! Someone get me out of here!" He pulled harder, his voice growing more desperate.

Wade turned his head, pretending to be offended. "Hey, come on, man, don't be like that. We're cell buddies! Well, sort of. You'll get used to this face. Eventually."

The prisoner, now visibly sweating, continued his struggle. "No way. No way am I staying in here with tha....that.... thing!"

One of the guards stepped forward, holding remote "Alright, enough. Stay calm, or we'll use this."

Wade grinned "Ooh, is that for tv? I've always wondered—"

Before he could finish, the guard activated the collar. A jolt of electricity surged through the prisoner, who fell to the ground, twitching.

Wade laughed loudly. "Oh man! Sucks to be y—"

zzzzzzzzzzzz!

Wade's body shaked for a moment before he smashed the floor, unconscious,with his mighty bulls doing the ass up face down pose

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