Thank You For Being Trash

“Arne.”

Distria's furious gaze reached me. As he called my name quietly, a bloody hand touched my shoulder. I knew he was angry. I was honestly afraid.

I was scared of him

“I didn’t rebel on purpose.”

His hand on my shoulder was knocked out coldly and I gazed at him.

Drip, drip.

Blood soaked the floor. His eyes were stained with some hatred. I was afraid to look at him with those hateful eyes.

“I…”

“Stop.”

Distria cut me off. Even though he looked at me with eyes telling me not to speak, I ignored his gaze before turning my head.

Moving my lips, I told him the cruel truth.

“You just held me. isn't this what you wanted? Like a doll?”

“Haa… Arne.”

At my words, he ran his blood-soaked hands through his hair. He didn't look like he was angry as he slowly walked towards me. Scared, I slowly backed away from him and there was the dripping sound that followed him.

Bloodstains had hardened on his pale face.

I met his cold eyes.

"That's funny."

The wall hit my back. There was no place to run away from Distria anymore. When he grabbed my shoulder and kissed my lips, I couldn't feel anything from the kiss that always gave me excitement easily. It just tasted blood, only the metallic taste of blood made me want to push away his lips.

I turned my head. Helpless in fear, my body trembled.

“Don’t talk nonsense. You belong to me, and I don't like it when other people touch mine.”

My heart was beating. I yelled at him. It was a shrieking question.

“You say you loved me!”

“It’s enough for you to look at such arrogant words. I love you, but don't ask for more than this.”

Distria's cold eyes met mine.

I really couldn't understand his love. It was incomprehensible… was it intense possessiveness or love? I could not distinguish it. What was it?

Pop.

Memory was broken.

Distria was clearly a fear to me. He was an existence that evoked certain emotions.

I watched the pouring rain. That day, he turned a temple into a sea of blood and returned to the imperial palace. Even when neighboring countries asked why he attacked the temple silently, he did not say what the temple had done wrong, fearing that it would harm me.

He replied nonchalantly, saying that he simply killed them.

Distria could have been angry at the neighboring countries’ attitude that did not trust him, but he just laughed.

As he killed all the people in the Temple of Michaelis and took over the temple, neighboring countries asked for the temple to be given to them because they would not argue for anything and he granted that request.

And I became his empress.

As the mistress of the imperial palace, there was an essential political task. I had duties to do. However, since I was someone who couldn't do anything, Distria also took care of that. He was busy, yet he always came to see me even when he was busy.

Kissing my lips, touching my skin, taking my body, and whispering love… he acted like a person who couldn't give me everything. Even then, I remembered that day.

“But, don't ask for more than this.”

I couldn't understand his heart.

What feeling, what sincerity… What hate, what anger.

What love.

What was he thinking? Even though I was curious about that, I didn't think about him anymore. I didn't want to think of him anymore.

I didn't want to worry about him.

I've had days like that. He worked and then came to see me. In order to fill the void created by the deaths, the imperial palace, which hired new people, was again crowded with people. I blankly gazed up at the sky.

I once thought that this world was my utopia before I lamented that my life was not my life and regretted the hasty decision. By now, I was hoping this world would end. It was a quick change of heart. Still, people did not change easily.

I was a person who would not change the way I think.

* * *

It was late at night, as usual. Distria looped around my waist as I grabbed his hand. The sound of my heart beating thumped. It was the only time to prove the value of my existence. The meaning of my existence was only at night.

Unknowingly, I laughed bitterly.

I wanted to live this life. Even now, I live that kind of life.

As his lips touched my mouth, cheek and ear, the embroidered quilt smelled like flowers. He took off my strange red string underwear and held my breasts in his hands. Biting the apex with his lips and holding it gently, he held my head in his gentle hands.

My lips touched the tip of his p*nis.

“Open up.”

I opened my mouth and took his pillar.

As the huge p*nis was halfway in his mouth, my jaw choked and was overloaded. Distria stroked my head and slowly pushed it all the way to my throat. He went deep and touched the back, causing me to gag.

Saliva flowed out as he moved himself slowly.

“Huhp… ugh.”

Even though he was moving slowly, my upper body was shaking. My chin was sore and my saliva was dripping. He groaned softly and put his fingers under me. The bottom, already soggy from sucking him, welcomed his hand.

“Huhk…”

Distria pulled himself out of my mouth. When he put his saliva-soaked, glistening thing inside me, I gasped for breath as he stabbed the inner wall and grabbed the sheet.

I shut my eyes.

It was the usual ending. It was the end of the day, as usual.

A loud noise opened my eyes.

When I woke up in the morning, the person who usually greeted me in the morning was not there next to me.

I laughed bitterly inside.

Habit was a terrible thing. I groped to check his warmth. It was cold. The clothes he left behind were caught in my hands, and I changed my clothes while glancing at the noisy surroundings.

I could hear the footsteps of people moving busily through the closed door. People's screams could be heard outside the window, along with the heavy sound of metal ringing, perhaps equipped with weapons.

I felt uneasy.

He was the one who killed people endlessly and turned the temple into an enemy just because he wanted to marry me.

Still, I never thought that this country would perish. I thought it would never fail. Of course, even though it may fail someday, I was sure it wouldn't fail in my generation… I was confused by the unexpected catastrophe.

I calmed my beating heart.

No, it must be an illusion…

When I glanced out the window, I inhaled my breath at the endless procession of the large army that rushed into the Imperial Palace. Stepping on the floor barefoot, I hurriedly ran through the corridors of the imperial palace.

“Treason has happened. Run away, Empress!"

The knight guarding the palace said to me, I didn't pretend to listen to him. Where was Distria? I looked for him. Since when did it stagger like this? Treason? Could it be that Acacia or Lepis brought an army…?

I ran along the corridor of the Imperial Palace. Thinking so, a certain kind of anticipation rose again, even though I didn’t deserve it.

“Arne.”

Someone called me.

It was as if I was hearing an auditory hallucination as I heard the familiar voice. He grabbed my wrist and hugged me. A familiar yet unfamiliar voice, and familiar yet unfamiliar body temperature. My heart skipped a beat as I felt a sense of alienation. Was it him?

…It couldn’t be him. He was dead

“I missed you.”

As I turned my head to check on him, I only thought he was dead though Rewan was standing behind my back.

I forgot what I was running for.

In front of me, I could only see Rewan.

The present situation was chaotic, catastrophic, and completely unexpected. At first, I felt stunned rather than happy. My heart was already torn and tattered, and there was not even a handful left in my heart to love him.

What was I going to do now? My last wish was not to see him.

“You run away… you forget me.”

Unknowingly, words of resentment came out of my mouth. He didn't let me go, as if he didn't care at all.

He whispered something in my ear

“Am I too late?”

I turned my head to face him as he spoke full of guilt. As I stared at him, he smiled shyly with his shy eyes. He acted as if no tragedy had ever happened to me. It was somehow awkward and artificial, and it didn’t seem like him.

However, this person really was Rewan.

When I met him, I thought I would say a lot as if I would be pouring it out but I couldn't. Still, what to say in an atmosphere so different from what I thought? Like my lips were glued together, I couldn't say anything. When was I going to pour out words of resentment?

“Arne? I'm late—”

“No. It's not like that.”

I grabbed Rewan's hand. The hand I held against me was hot. I was so happy that I thought for a moment that this place was a dream. Unlike the war-torn surroundings, Rewan and my surroundings were peaceful.

The loud sound of weapons hit my ears and raucous screams echoed through the hallway, but I didn't hear anything.

I couldn’t see it.

As if something dumbly blocked my ears and covered my eyes. I acted like that person.

My love for Rewan, who seemed to be erased, was ridiculously twisted as soon as I saw him. It bloomed like flowers. Even when I burst into laughter at my own selfishness, I moved my feet busily in pursuit of the fantasy-like Rewan’s back.

“Stay here for a while.”

He put me in a certain space. It seemed to be a hidden space in the Imperial Palace.

Fear bloomed when I saw Rewan turning his back on me and a few men who seemed to be from him stood guard over me.

“Where are you going? Can I not go?”

I grabbed Rewan's collar. He looked troubled. He gently took my hand and pulled it off his collar.

“I must go.”

Creak.

The door was closed and soon, loud blasts and shrill screams came and went.

…Would he come back alive? I felt afraid.

__