Thank You For Being Trash

I was lying in a daze in prison.

I would eat if they gave me something to eat. I would sleep when I was tired… I spent days like that. The floor was cold, and the air inside the prison was chilly. In addition, there were no windows, so no light could come in, and I couldn't guess how much time had passed or how many days had passed.

I thought I wanted to share emotions, share stories and live like a human being, not a life dominated by pleasure. So, if Distria loved me, wouldn't that be enough?

I shook my head.

…No, I don’t want him.

So, who was it that I wanted? Whom did I want to love? Someone who was already dead and whose body couldn’t be found, or the one who hurt me in the end and I let go, or the one whom I never said thank you to?

I couldn’t turn back now, but I still couldn't figure it out… or was I just delusional?

As hot tears flowed down both cheeks in the cold space, I swallowed the familiar sobs as the tears welling up several times soaked the floor.

It might not be bad to die in prison, living a life filled with regrets. If I had known it would be like this, I would have brought the note from Acacia. I thought so as I gazed at my palms, where the scars had disappeared.

No one was left by my side…

This happened because of my greed. Because of that, responsibility and regret for that were something I had to do.

Even after spending such a time of regret, I often thought about other things.

Unexpectedly, it opened the door to the final chapter of the original story… injuring Distria and being imprisoned.

When I was first imprisoned, I regretted swinging a knife at him and scarring his body, and I was worried about the progress of the original story. It was because I was afraid of the actions I had committed without being able to make a rational judgment.

At the same time, I wondered if I acted irrationally because I was forced like a marionette of the original story and forcefully followed the original story. Though as it flowed as the original story, I felt relieved that everything did not follow the original story completely.

While it was a selfish thought, it was at least comforting. I really felt like this was the world I lived in.

Glancing at my thighs, where the stigma had been erased, I lost the traces of my palms that show that I am me. Still, it was okay because the traces of the original story were also erased.

I was so relieved…

…I wanted to think so. And I regretted the things that had passed. I should just kill my emotions and give up being human.

I didn’t know how much time had passed since I was trapped here.

I thought I might die here. It was so cold, and I had no blanket to protect myself from the cold, so I thought about death. Needing a bit of warmth, I sometimes regret swinging my dagger at Distria.

I should’ve just lived the life I'd been given. Why did I dream of becoming a human? It was a selfish mind. At first, I felt a deep disgust, but later I just wanted to do it. People wouldn’t change easily, and I couldn’t change… that was what I thought.

Still, in the end, I came back to the beginning and regretted that the traces on my palms had disappeared. I apologized to them… to the dead Rewan, Acacia, and Lepis.

Turning around, I felt sorry for them again.

My thoughts continued that way, and that was how I spent the night.

Eventually, the door opened with a creak and a heavy metal sound. I squinted my eyes at the pure white beam of light illuminating the space. My heart beat with a thumping sound at the familiar knight uniform that seemed blurry with my half-closed vision.

…What kind of expectation was it?

Such anticipation that Acacia would come to pick me up. Where did my selfish thoughts go? I had the brazen and incongruent idea that he would come to get me… I was a very selfish person. Even if a knife gets stuck in my throat, I didn’t think I'd change what I thought.

“Come out.”

It wasn't Acacia's voice.

I was disappointed. As my expectations were broken, my mood dropped.

The knight caught my outstretched hand. He held me, who was staggering and couldn't walk well. Disappointed, I was delighted with the body temperature of a hot person touching my body for a while.

Grabbing him by the collar, I let out a cold breath.

The sound of breathing in my ears, the sound of the heartbeat. I said I wanted to live like a human being, I said I didn't want to live a life full of pleasure, and I tried to kill Distria… how did I get excited about these little things?

I shook my head.

It was too cold there, that was why. It’d been a long time since I met warmth. It seemed that cold breath was still leaking from my lips.

I denied the rush of excitement. No matter how trashy I was, this wasn’t it.

Thinking so, my fingertips trembled, and I gripped the collar tightly. The knight's displeased gaze met me. Startled, I removed my hand while my heart, which had been beating anxiously, subsided. The surge of excitement also faded.

This was an illusion that I felt because of the warmth… I thought so.

“We have arrived.”

The door where I had stayed before being captured was opened.

The ladies-in-waiting came and took off the tattered clothes. In an instant, I was naked and immersed in the water in which roses were floating. My body was washed with fragrant balm and massaged. Soon, I was escorted by a knight while wearing a white and voluminous dress.

I walked on my unsteady leg, staggering.

Where was I going?

At the end of that tumultuous path, there was a heavy door at the end of the bright red carpet. The door opened, and Distria stood there, well-dressed in a suit and holding a flower. It was an inconsistent picture and an awkward sight.

Distria and bright red flowers didn't match. My legs gave out at the strange sight, and I flopped down.

‘…What is he doing?’

What was the situation now?

I closed my eyes. Because this was nonsense, I thought I was dreaming. I heard Distria trudging to me, and he grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me up.

Nothing was visible in my dark world.

“Open your eyes, Arne.”

He gently whispered in my ear as if to soothe me, and I gently opened my eyes. Distria got down on one knee and held out the bouquet like someone proposing.

“Will you marry me?”

I couldn't contain my astonishment at the bouquet and the ring he took out of his arms. If I married Distria, wouldn’t I become Empress? This wasn’t right. As my thoughts were interrupted by the sudden situation, I lost touch with reality.

“Actually, you don’t have the option of refusal.”

Distria placed his lips on the back of my hand.

His eyes that were full of affection were burdensome that I averted my gaze. I opened my lips to say something and then closed my mouth. I would be seen as a fool, and it might be quicker to get the nobles' backlash and have the engagement annulled.

Already in love, he seemed out of his mind.

Distria took the ring out of the ring box and put it on the ring finger of my left hand. He held the red bouquet in one hand.

“It suits you well.”

The next moment, he pressed his lips to the ring on my ring finger. As I looked blankly at the figure, he smiled at me again as if nothing had happened.

He gazed at me with loving eyes.

“You are beautiful, Arne.”

He soon took me in an embrace before heading for the bedroom. Startled, I looked up at him and shook my head.

No. No…

Distria, who laid me down on the bed, lightly pressed me as I struggled. He lifted my skirt and stroked my thighs.

I parted my lips at the soft, hot touch and let out a hot breath. He buried his face between the voluminous skirt. While he bit off the underwear with his lips and spread my legs, Distria stuck his tongue inside her.

My mind went blank at the dizzying stimulation I had felt for the first time in a long time as he licked the inside with his tongue.

“…Huht!”

I was just busy breathing out. He stroked the insides gently with his lips and slipped his fingers through the wet crevice. Moving his hand in circles on the already wet bottom, he then raised his head and stared at me.

Curving his eyebrows, he smiled.

“I was so sad that I had to put you in a dungeon like that.”

He moved his hand and untied the ribbon on my back, and bit the exposed white breasts with his lips. I gasped for breath from the warmth of a person I hadn't touched in a long time. Drenched in pleasure, I expected his touch pleasure to me.

Distria slowly undressed.

I felt some kind of anticipation in his large, protruding p*nis.

…I said I wanted to change, didn't I?

The mind that was paralyzed by pleasure for a moment was caught by the thought that popped out, and I let out a short breath.

It'd been a while since I'd had this kind of stimulation. I comforted myself. No. I was just a human being who couldn't live without pleasure… yes, that was it. I thought so. It was just an act of satisfying human needs that I would never want only pleasure again.

“I declared that I would make you empress.”

Before I had time to think about Distria's words, he chewed on the nipple with his lips. He put my round chest into my mouth and swallowed it. My body trembled at the intense stimulation.

“So, everyone wanted to kill you.”

He tore off the cumbersome skirt and rubbed himself against the entrance. I let out a sigh. His words did not reach my ears properly.

“Arne.”

“Huuuh… hup…”

Distria smiled bitterly and pushed himself slowly inside. I turned my head to the stiffness that was coming in as tears flowed down my eyes.

Perhaps, I was mistaken for a while.

Expecting and wanting a lot of pleasure, exhaling excitedly. When he started moving his hips, intense stimulation thumped inside.

“So, I killed the objections one by one… All of them."

"Ha-uhk—haht…! Huh!”

“Then, no one objected. It’s a very simple and convenient method.”

It was a snake-like smile.

Grabbing my chin, he kissed my lips tightly. Distria opened my lips, brushed the roof of my mouth, sucked my lips, and brushed my teeth, saliva trickling down the corners of my mouth. Then, he licked it like it was a waste, and the red lips drew an arc and went up.

"I love you, Arne.”

He ran his lips across my neck and left a mark. His strong waist thumped vigorously inside.

“Uh-uung…huh, ha…”

“Arne. I love you.”

I closed my eyes after struggling with pleasure for a while.

People didn’t change easily. I thought so.

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