Thank You For Being Trash

TW: The chapter contained humiliation and self-harm. Some scenes may have you feeling sick to the core. Be warned. Viewers' discretion is advised.

“Eat it all. It is a special food I prepared for you.”

He gently stroked my chin.

The reason, who returned with the weak stimulus for a while, was quickly engulfed by the drug again. In the parlor, my face was stuck in a bowl of dog food. Raphael, who treats me less than a human, has given me a sense of excitement.

"Don’t…want to… eat."

“Huh…? For saying that, water is dripping underneath?”

Raphael poked his fingers underneath again.

Every time he did, my body trembled. My trembling arms managed to support myself, preventing myself from falling.

He slapped my buttocks forcefully.

“Who told you to spill it on the floor? Lick it.”

He said to me, pointing to the love liquid I had spilled on the floor. Then, he grabbed my leash and turned me around. As he buried my face there, I could hear his laughter and the bell ringing in my ears.

Raphael patted my back with one hand. The exhilarating sensation, as if an electric current was flowing, made me lose the strength in the arms that were supporting my body, and I collapsed down. Seeing that, he sighed and held me up.

I felt his p*nis protruding under his clothes.

Taking me to the room, the sound of his heavy breathing reached my ears. Raphael hastily shoved himself into me while still in the doorway without taking off all his clothes or laying me down. With no place to support myself, my lower back was clenched and bent.

Raphael's strong arms held me from behind. Every time he moved, I could hear the bells ringing from my tail.

—Ring-ling~

“Do you like it getting f*cked while shaking your tail like a bitch?”

“Hu-uht… Huu—no… Don’t!"

Raphael made his characteristic low-quality obscene rumors.

He pulled the firmly hard n*pple tight and ran his tongue along the spine of my back. The stimulation of the anal tail embedded in my back was also felt together, and every time he thrust, I could feel the intense pleasure that choked my breath.

…Drugs are the best. It's always exciting.

Tears welled up in my eyes at the intense sexual stimulation.

"Really?"

Suddenly, he stopped his movements.

Because of that, the intense stimulation subsided, and the arm that had been holding it disappeared. My legs loosened, and I fell to the floor. Raphael's connected part with me fell out, giving me the last intense pleasure.

“Now, it looks like you’re raising your ass to be f*cked?”

Saying so, he gently stroked my ass. The anal tail wagged back and forth. There was pain whenever great stimulation was applied to the still unprepared anal. I didn't even have the strength to lift my fingers, so I put my head down on the floor and breathed ragged breaths.

“Hu-ugh… heuk…”

“What do you mean, when you’re doing so well?”

Raphael slapped my rear.

Once. Twice… Gradually, the speed and intensity of the hits grew stronger. I slowly reached a climax with the burning sensation on my ass and stimulation of the anal tail. Perhaps, he was aware of my condition, so he pulled out the anal tail at once.

“Huhngg…!”

My body quivered, pouring out love liquid.

I heard Raphael's sneer behind my back. He grabbed my leash and forced me to stand up before chewing my ear and whispered to me.

“Do you like getting hit than for me to put it in? I think you like getting hit…”

“…Because of the drugs… Huht—”

Then, he grabbed my leash and threw me on his bed as he slowly took off his clothes.

Feeling that I had to do something now, I tried to get out of bed the moment he took off his clothes. Raphael pulled the leash. He grabbed my hair and kissed my lips. Raphael then stroked my back and spread my legs apart with his thighs.

“Where are you going, I haven’t even started yet.”

* * *

I fainted, and when I opened my eyes, it was the room of the Imperial Palace. I removed the blanket to the landscape I was used to after staying for a few months.

Acacia was standing in front of the door. He saw me wake up and closed the door, and came towards me. Perhaps because of the darkness, his expression looked a little dark. I was engulfed in unexplained anxiety.

“…What's going on?"

I hid my anxiety and asked him. I was worried that Rewan might have been caught. My trembling fingers were cold.

“…I’m sorry."

“….”

Acacia bowed his head. Whether the anxiety became a reality, I had to ask what was going on, although my lips didn't open at all. The feeling that was okay until not too long ago, the good feelings all burned out.

…How did I forget Rewan ran away?

Even though I wanted to, I felt disillusioned again that I was originally such a person.

“What are you sorry about? What else?"

After staying silent for a while, I hid my conflicting feelings and barely spoke. I didn't even have time to hide this impatience and anxiety. As I waited for his lips to open, he looked nervous and anxious. Acacia gazed with a sad face.

No… Don't make that face and tell me.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect it.”

My heart fell to the floor.

What did he fail to protect? Rewan? Was he dead? Or, about my request? Has Rewan been arrested? The hem of the blanket slid off my shoulder, and I slapped Acacia's cheek.

I was frustrated.

“Sorry what?”

He did not avoid it even though it could be easily avoided. I grabbed his shoulder and shook him. The past, when I had s*x with Raphael, enjoyed it and did nothing, was a past that had already gone. I blamed him.

Acacia hugged my waist.

“…You've been through a lot. Sorry for not being able to protect you… Hit me more until you feel better.”

For a moment, I hurriedly removed the hand that had been holding on to him from his body. It wasn't about Rewan. Acacia was looking down at my toes with his head lowered. From the tip of my toes, as if a wave of water, hatred for me rose.

“…No."

I enjoyed it. I enjoyed everything.

Acacia focused his gaze on me, who was quiet. I met those black eyes that were filled with guilt. Rewan came to mind.

My mood went down to the mud.

“…Don't worry."

Thanks to Acacia for asking my regards, I'd rather… Rather…hear that Rewan had been captured. I thought I would feel better than this. I was terribly selfish and self-centered… I didn't like being in pain.

“Don’t cry.”

Saying that, he put his hand around my eyes. He didn’t even know why I'm crying, and he still comforted me.

Why does he keep being nice?

“Put your hands away…”

Acacia pulled the hand that was wiping my tears away. As tears flowed endlessly, I met the eyes that were worried about me and shook my head. His strong arms wrapped around my waist. I bowed my head on Acacia's shoulder.

"I'd rather you die."

“….”

If you, who reminded me of Rewan, were dead—who put me in the sense of shame… I wanted him to die thrown in the mud. It was a terribly selfish thought.

Acacia was silently listening to my words. That made me so angry.

Why didn’t he get mad with me, who was strangely angry at him? Was he just listening? Is he just silently listening to the person who treats him as an emotional trash can? This blind loyalty was a feeling similar to love, and my heart was burdened.

“You have no feelings? Aren't you angry?"

“…How dare I be angry. I am not even angry at you in the first place.”

Acacia's trembling breath reached my neck. He was about to say something and was silent for a moment as if he had swallowed his words. I had no idea what he wanted to say.

Again, he spoke slowly.

“I don’t want you to die. I don’t want you to give up on life.”

“….”

“As long as you can get mad at me and get rid of that frustration, I’m fine.”

Why was he being so kind? I didn't even think of him for a single moment before… However, I wouldn’t act for him.

Acacia released the arm that was holding me. He stared at me with eyes full of emotion.

“Then, rest.”

At that, he escaped out of the room. I stared blankly at the place he had left. Those who were thinking of me, thinking of Arne, the future I had dreamed of was gone. I realized that the ending I wanted was now gone.

Then, I… What should I do now?

* * *

It hurts.

I felt suffocated. I was wandering somewhere, and when I opened the door and came out, it was a black room with nothing.

Repeat.

When I open the door, I see a black room. Open the door again… Sometimes there was a person in a room I thought would have nothing. However, they didn't see me. I opened my eyes to the creepy energy that gradually tightened my neck.

I exhaled a harsh breath.

Feeling stuffy, I got up to open the tightly closed window. Leading my staggering body, I opened the window. The night sky was filled with twinkling stars. Some fell to the earth, forming tails… It was a beautiful sight—vivid and sparkling.

I went back to bed and poured water into a teacup on the table. The hand holding the teapot trembled. The lid of the teapot tumbled to the floor.

—Crash.

It made a loud noise, so I picked up the pieces of the broken lid.

While picking it up, sharp shards scraped off the tip of my finger, causing a wound. I grabbed the shard and held it. Sharp shards of glass created deep wounds on my fragile hands as the bright red blood dripped to the floor.

Was it because of the noise? Even though it was a dark night, I heard a knock. Still, I didn't answer. My gaze was taken away by the red blood that was leaking out.

I felt alive in the bitterness. I'm here…

Again I heard a knock. Again, I didn't answer. Someone slammed the door open. There was a loud noise.

“…Arne!”

Lepis eyes met me, who was both dripping with blood. As he took a deep breath, he gazed at me with confused eyes. We stared at each other without saying a word for a long time.

“….”

“….”

No one dared to open their mouths.

Blood dripped down on the floor. Actually, I didn't mean to hurt myself this much… When I opened my hands open and glanced down for a moment, there was a mess.

Lepis pursed his lips as if he had forgotten what to say.

__

Editor’s Note: Hello, it’s Nabi! I’m the editor of this novel ପ( ๑•ᴗ•๑ )ଓ♡ I recently opened a kofi. If you like the novel and would like to support me, please feel free to click the button below to go to my kofi~!

Thank you so much for always supporting the novels I work on, even if you don't buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot. ❤︎