Teyvat: Pretender

Gray clouds gather overhead, casting a muted tone across the scene. Raindrops started to fall, gentle at first, within a few seconds a soft rhythm emerged as drops landed on surfaces – rooftops, leaves, and pitter-patter on sidewalks.

"...why" A man said in a whisper

If one were to look at his face at this moment, one would see a masterclass in emotional restraint. His jaw clenched imperceptibly, the muscles on his face twitching as they fought to suppress the simmering storm within. His lips usually relaxed, now formed a thin line as he took a slow, deliberate breath.

'Ugh... why today of all days' complained in his thoughts. His gaze fixed on the rain cascading onto the pavement. Exhausted from a long day of work, he just wants to go home, sink into comfort, and unwind.

"Happy thoughts, happy thoughts," He whispered to himself, the internal struggle evident in his voice. "Bitching over this is simply pathetic. You've evolved beyond such absurdities, Lucas."

Fortunately, no one was looking at him right now as they hurried by, umbrellas unfurling in response to the sudden downpour. Passersby scurried beneath awnings and storefronts to avoid getting wet, some running, while others just don't give a fuck.

He looked around to see if there were any umbrellas he could borrow... possibly permanently.

And there he saw, nestled atop a nearby café's outdoor seating area. The umbrella, a vibrant burst of color against the gray backdrop, contrasting it from the rest of the surroundings, beckoned to him like a beacon of opportunity.

'THERE! Ah my Excalibur!' his gaze landed on the abandoned umbrella, The umbrella, seemingly left unattended, whispered promises of shelter and comfort. There it was, "Excalibur" in all its glory, standing tall - a shining, majestic... umbrella.

As he walked towards his supposed "Excalibur", crossing the road hurriedly while thinking some bastard might get it first before him just fueled his determination more. And so, propelled by a newfound determination, he strode purposefully toward his perceived "Excalibur"- the vibrant umbrella that seemed to promise respite from the relentless rain. Each step was fueled by a mix of longing and urgency, a desire to claim his small victory over the elements and fate itself.

The cityscape blurred around him as he crossed the rain-slicked road, his heart racing with a mix of anticipation and anxiety while keeping a flat face. The thought that someone else might lay claim to his "Excalibur" before him intensified his resolve, turning his determined strides into a near sprint.

As he neared the café's outdoor seating, his eyes locked on the prize. The umbrella lay there, defiant against its gray surroundings, a symbol of his intent to seize control even in the face of life's unpredictable bullshits. He could almost feel the weight of the fabric, the cool metal of the handle, as if it was already in his grasp.

Reaching the umbrella, he was already thinking of smashing someone in the table and going full WWE chair attacks on the motherfucker for daring to claim his "Excalibur." Of course, he wouldn't resort to such theatrics; he was, after all, a civilized adult.

Before seizing the "Excalibur,"! He cast a glance around, ensuring that no one was frantically searching for their lost umbrella, seeing none. He snatched it up with a mix of triumph and relief. It was as if he had reclaimed a piece of himself, a physical manifestation of his ability to take charge of his circumstances. Unfurling the canopy, the marveled at the expanse of color that now shielded him from the rain.

A rush of satisfaction coursed through him as he continued on his way, the umbrella casting a protective halo above him. His steps slowed, no longer a hurried race but a steady stride. The pitter-patter of rain against the fabric seemed almost muted now, the vibrant umbrella creating a cocoon of relative calm within the storm.

'I'll return it tomorrow' he said multiple times to himself like a mantra, so his dumbass wouldn't forget.

As he strolled, his eyes wandered around the place, The rain-drenched street appeared forlorn, a sparsity of pedestrians walking around just like him.

Retrieving his phone while remaining vigilant of his surroundings to avoid an accidental collision with a lamppost, glancing at his notifications. Among them, he found a full storage warning, an email about a failed Spotify payment, updates on a novel, news highlights, the latest episode of an anime, and game updates-- Genshin Impact caught his attention among the game updates, serving as a reminder that he hadn't completed the Sumeru region yet, and the Fontaine update was approaching. His packed schedule had prevented him from even starting it.

'I'll play it when I get home' he thought. He continued his walk, trying to find a place to eat as he was not in the mood to cook... He simply wished to do nothing. He felt at p--

He stopped

In his peaceful walk, a sudden stillness settled within him like a long-awaited embrace. The world seemed to pause around him, the chaotic symphony of the rain and the city's rhythm fading into the background. His steady stride came to a halt, and he stood there, sheltered beneath the vibrant canopy of the umbrella enveloped in a sense of tranquility he hadn't anticipated.

"I feel at peace," He whispered to himself, the words carried away by the rain-kissed breeze.

As he stood there, bathed in the gentle embrace of tranquility, he couldn't help but marvel at the familiarity of the feeling. This was one of those moments he had often yearned for besides getting his pay and gaming after going to the gym, a respite from the cacophony of life, a stolen sanctuary of calm amidst the chaos. He had treasured these instances, these pockets of stillness, whenever they arose, and now, beneath the vibrant umbrella, he was granted another precious chapter in that silent symphony of serenity.

But he knows, he couldn't help but acknowledge the bittersweet truth that accompanied these rare moments of serenity. Life was a master of unpredictability, often slapping some fucking "challenges" and obstacles sadistically at your face. The calm he currently savored was as delicate as the fragile Will of gacha addicts lying to themselves not to roll anymore because their luck is shit and it's a waste of money, destined to be swept away by the winds of change. [1]

This sensation was far from unfamiliar. He had danced with it countless times before. Whenever he wished to shield himself from life's curveballs that can fuck with someone in an unpredictable way. He, himself proactively stirred the pot, engineering issues himself, making the impending problems more predictable. It was his way of grasping onto some semblance of control amid the tumultuous tides that threatened to engulf him.

A chuckle escaped his lips, a hearty and genuine release of amusement, and the only thing he can say at this moment is-

"Fuck it, we ba--"

Whispered defiantly, a declaration of resilience and a refusal to be held back.

Suddenly, before he even finished his words, as if the universe itself had responded to his declaration, a blinding flash of lightning tore through the sky, followed by a deafening crack of thunder that reverberated through the air. In an instant, the "Excalibur" he was holding, the vibrant umbrella, got hit by the said lightning. The electric force surged through the umbrella, its metal handle and fabric canopy conducting the energy directly into his grip. His body convulsed uncontrollably as the shock coursed through him, every nerve ending firing off signals of agony. The pain was beyond anything he had ever experienced, a searing torment that seemed to reach the very core of his being. In that excruciating moment, time stood still, and he could feel nothing but the sheer intensity of the electric force that had engulfed him.

Amidst the torment, his mind screamed incoherently, a torrent of profanities and anguish that echoed within his consciousness. "#&$@^&@ IT HURTS SHIT AAAAAILLFU#&(%KIN(*K#$ILLTHE(#(*ONEWHOMADE$#&^*&*THISFUCKINGLIGHTING%$&*^ ZEUUSSS!!ISTHISHOWYOUFACEMECOWARD!!AAEWAAAA FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK KKKKKAAAAAA #($*&@$() SONOFA()#$*BAICIHH AAAAAAAA--," he howled in his mind, each expletive a reflection of the overwhelming agony that consumed him. [2]

But despite the unrelenting pain, he endured. With his sheer fucking will! He pushed through the torment that threatened to consume him! Every fiber of his being screamed in protest! his body a battleground of agony! but he refused to yield!

"HAH#($&AHAH#$)($)(AHA," He laughed through the pain, a mixture of delirium and incredulity coloring his laughter. It was a wild, almost maniacal release, an unexpected reaction to the surreal situation he found himself in. His mind raced, trying to make sense of the paradox – the lightning strike that had sent shockwaves through his body, the excruciating pain that should have subsided, yet continued to reverberate.

Despite the deafening crack of thunder and the brilliance of the lightning, the chaos seemed to go unnoticed by most. their attention drawn to their concerns. A few heads turned to their windows, perhaps catching a fleeting glimpse of something amiss, but they quickly dismissed it as just a regular lightning strike, their curiosity fleeting.

His knees gave in, no longer able to bear the weight of his body. He sank to the ground, his legs folding beneath him like a puppet with its strings cut. The rain-soaked pavement greeted him, cold and unforgiving against his skin, as he knelt amidst the aftermath of the lightning's assault.

His body still emitted faint traces of smoke, a visual testament to the intensity of the lightning's impact. He was a survivor of a cosmic force that had intersected with his existence, leaving an indelible mark both on his physical form and his psyche.

He remained there, his posture one of surrender to the forces that had taken him to the brink of death. His breath came in ragged gasps, each breath felt like sandpaper and knives scratching, stabbing his lungs, he couldn't breathe, not that he was even aware of it as he was pretty much unconscious.

He sat there, the world continuing to move around him, completely unaware of the extraordinary ordeal he had just endured. The rain continued its steady descent, each drop a soothing touch against his skin, a stark contrast to the tumultuous storm that had raged within him.

Suddenly, as if nature had one last twist to offer, the sky once again lit up with a blinding flash of lightning. The crackling energy arced through the air, seeking its target with almost eerie precision. In an instant, the bolt of lightning struck him, his body once again becoming a conduit for the electric force. And he disappeared, his records, name, and even people's memories of him are erased.

He vanished.

.

..

…

….

….

..

.

[Subject unresponsive, leading to non-realization of individual's aspiration.] [4]

[--Utilizing the subject's recent memories to comprehend and actualize their aspiration.]

[Scanning process concluded--- Desires before death located]

[Extra skill: Solitude]

His yearning for such solitude before the lightning strike led to the acquisition of this extra skill.

[Cold Resistance acquisition successful.]

[Heat Resistance acquisition successful.]

[Acquisition of Heat Resistance and Cold Resistance results in the acquisition of a new skill, Thermal Fluctuation Resistance.]

[Electric Current Resistance acquisition successful. Attached is Paralysis Resistance. Acquisition successful.]

The lightning strike that coursed through the umbrella and into his grip.

[Continuing...]

[Physical Attack Resistance acquisition successful.]

His subsequent resistance to the pain of the lightning strike underscores his mental and physical endurance.

[Pain Nullification acquired.]

[Creating a body that does not require breathing... Successful.]

[Unique Skill: Pretender acquisition successful.]

His dog-shit personality.

[Initiating inquiry into the nature and attributes of "Umbrella Excalibur" from the individual's memories, Data retrieval in progress...]

[Extra skill: Umbrella/Excalibur]

Resolve to claim the vibrant umbrella, humorously dubbed "Excalibur,".

[Continuing, Umbrella/Excalibur will transform into the unique skill Excalibur Image]

Thus the voice ceased, and the soul of our main character quivered.

His very essence undergoing a transformation, contorting and reshaping even as he continued to traverse through the vast expanse of space at incredible speed, destination unknown.

His soul speeding through the multiverse of the Cardinal world like that one "I'm not hungry" fucker appearing faster than their own shadow at the exact instant you pull out a semi-edible piece of sustenance that remotely resembles human food, before the aroma could even expand to a 5-inch radius, sooner than the light particles in the room that haven't even illuminated it after being removed from the bag. [5]

He traversed a threshold, leaving behind the known and venturing into the uncharted expanses beyond Cardinal's reach, yet still retaining his connection through the Voice of the World. The multiverse stretched before him, an expanse of uncharted reality, where the very fabric of existence wove a tapestry of countless realms and dimensions. 

After some time, his soul finally arrived within another multiversal bubble.

but this time it didn't just leech off its power system and leave, his soul arrived at the world of Teyvat, inside of a certain simp Tengu Warrior.

The reason?

This was that his soul, having undergone exhaustive transformations and traversed numerous worlds—an accomplishment that would have extinguished any other soul, particularly one that of a former human. [6]

The Voice of the World has only concluded two choices.

Hide him inside a Sub-space.

However, this choice is a no-go, as his soul is already exhausted and would be destroyed if The Voice Of the World granted him a sub-space-related ability to create a sub-space for his beauty sleep.

While the other choice is, to drop him off in some random abandoned domains as protection until he awakens. [7]

Conclusion: The Voice of The World doesn't give a shit and just flung his soul randomly like a thoughtless child, of course, there is no need for him to know that, after all, he got all those awesome abilities from it.

..

...

..

"What kind of fuckery is this?"

That was the first thing he said upon waking up.

-Chapter END-

[0]: Is it fixed now?... I'm not sure.

[0.5]: Most of the comments seemed to have been deleted after I updated the chapter, you won't leave right?! YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE THIS DEGENERACY OF A FIC BECAUSE YOUR COMMENT JUST GOT ACCIDENTALLY DELETED RIGHT?! IF YOU DO! I WILL FIND YOU (I won't.) AND WOULD PRAY THAT YOUR BALLS GET PARALYZED WHEN YOU TURN 25! (I appreciate your support.)

[1]: This feeling is his body and mind reacting when it knows he's about to experience strong pain. It's like a natural defense mechanism that can make you feel strangely calm or detached before the pain hits, but he doesn't know that yet lol he thought it was the usual peace-then-trouble type, in short, he doesn't know he's about to be mega-fucked, LET'S GIVE HIM THIS LITTLE PEACE OF HIS! Similar to Yuki from Tensura before getting Isekaid(He's an esper), this MC has enhanced intuition, yea also I'm not typing this for more words, definitely.

[2]: I've read somewhere that certain circumstances make you perceive time slower, yeah, this is one of those certain circumstances.

[3]: Cold rain?? idk, was thinking of giving him water resistance, but how tf do you gain water resistance? drinking water? drowning?

[4]: VOICE OF THE WORLD! or VOTW-CHAN!

[5]: The universe of Tensura

[6]: Plot armor is at work when his soul didn't encounter any other entities besides VOTW

[7]: Unlike Rimuru who has skills like Predator and Great Sage to get stronger through killing and usurping that makes the Veldora cave the best place for him to get reborn, yeah... He doesn't have that, so no full-of-monsters cave start.