Ten Shadows in the Heian Era

Jujutsu is an incredibly simple thing, I'm coming to find.

It's basically impossible to define, but really easy to understand. Kind of like that old saying about porn back when someone was trying to put some law or other into place, I never knew the details, but I remember the line.

'It's difficult to define, but you'll know it when you see it'.

Jujutsu is much the same. It's not complicated at all, but if you tried writing a guide for it there would need to be a bunch of appendix's saying 'But if this...' and 'Except for when...' and so on.

Unfortunately, it means that there isn't actually a lot of schooling that goes on in this school. I'm not really sure how I feel about that.

On one hand, what little I remember about school from my last life mostly involved me waking up at the end of the day and getting walked home by my friends.

Yomi, I'm pretty sure that I didn't even bother to remember where my classrooms were, I just found which friends had the same classes as me on which days and followed them.

So, I think there's a chance I wouldn't have enjoyed it if it was a proper schooling, though obviously I won't be able to know for sure. Maybe some time in the future I'll be able to attend a magic university or something?

There's got to be a magic school somewhere in Europe right? Unless Cursed Energy is the only source of power for humanity in this world?

I have no idea, but I can't wait to find out.

Though, schooling being mostly self study isn't something I necessarily dislike. 

I do actually enjoy the peaceful silence of solitude, simply sitting under the shade of a tree in one of the vast complex's many many gardens, each more beautiful than the last.

Seriously, whoever designs these flower arrangements deserves a raise. I can practically feel the millennia of history behind it all. Aesthetics honed and perfected over many centuries of tradition.

The idea that two hundred years ago there would have been someone sitting where I am, looking at this exact same arrangement of flowers as me...

I don't know, I just think there's something beautiful about that.

There is one definite upside to the difficulties of defining Jujutsu however, and that is that there are so many books!

Well, most of them are scrolls really, or thin enough to be more of a pamphlet, but still! There's so much reading material! 

It's all really good too! Well, maybe not everyone would think so, the writing can be pretty dry and unengaging.

But due to the inherently personal nature of the subject, the vast majority of these books and scrolls are basically diaries. People writing about their personal experiences, how they felt during fights that had lasting impacts on them, how they feel while using their techniques.

I'm not going to lie, I have definitely cried a few times reading these. Not like, balling my eyes out or anything, just a few tears.

I can't help it. These accounts are just so human. It makes my heart ache. I just love it, so so much. It sometimes feels like they're here with me, the authors of these accounts.

Sitting by my side and regaling me with their life, from their greatest triumphs to their lowest sorrows. These are written for the sake of educating future Sorcerers, so nothing can be left out.

There was a Sorcerer seven hundred years ago called Hachiro who fought a battle against a Grade One Curse, though the Grade was added as an appendix, as apparently the current grading system only came about around three hundred years ago, invented by Master Tengen, The Immortal.

He himself was probably around Semi-Grade Two, though it's obviously difficult to be sure considering it happened so long ago.

He was there with his friends. According to his own writing, there was a wedding ceremony going on in his village, between the Chief's daughter and a friend of Hachiro's.

So he invited his Jujutsu comrades to the wedding, which proved to be either a blessing or a curse, as none of them were much stronger than Hachiro himself.

So the Curse came, and he and his allies fought it back. 

They all died. Except for Hachiro, who described in detail everything he was feeling from before the fight began all the way to a full week later. All this because in that fight, he experienced a Black Flash when he killed the Curse.

He didn't go into detail on what happened to his friends, but the shakiness of his brushwork does enough to explain why.

That's just one example, but there are hundreds like it, maybe thousands, just in the school's library.

Truthfully, I don't really get anything from reading these. None of the accounts have provided any useful information, and I know anything containing actually good techniques I could learn from reading are all hoarded by those in power.

That's part of why I never have to worry about being able to borrow these scrolls, because they're all so useless that nobody else reads them.

But even then, I continue to read these 'useless' accounts. Because sometimes it feels like these Hachiro's are sitting beside me as I do, and though I did not know them in life, there is some deep, inexplicable part of me that just feels that they would be happy knowing that someone will remember them.

That their lives will not be forgotten. That their deeds, their triumphs and their sacrifices will be remembered, even if it's only by me.

"There you are," a feminine voice brings me out of my thoughts, and I look up to see the mature figure of Ise no Tayū, my classmate with forest green hair tied into a pair of buns. 

"You were looking for me?" I ask with a smile as she comes to a stop in front of me, her posture straight and proper like it has been drilled into her.

"Yes. I ended up asking Kamo-Sensei and he suggested the library. From there I had to keep asking around for anyone who had seen you."

She seems a little bit upset. "I apologise for the inconvenience, Ise-san. I will leave a Shikigami on my desk in the future, in case you need to find me again."

"Ah, there's no need," Ise suddenly backpedals, belatedly realising she was being a little bit rude complaining about me not acting in a manner convenient to her, but it's not like I mind. "I feel that I have a better understanding of where I should look in the future."

"Well, I will do so regardless. It would be silly if I couldn't be found in an emergency."

Obviously, if there was an emergency, they would be able to find me, but still, I do like to wander about and spend a lot of time sitting in random places, so it would genuinely be convenient.

It's not like there are cell phones that they can use to contact me from a distance.

"If you insist," Ise demurs. "As for why I was looking for..." She trails off as she meets my eyes until she just stops talking altogether, her brows scrunching together slightly in concern.

"Is something the matter, Ise-san?" I ask, and my words seem to snap her out of some stupor as she flinches back minutely before shaking her head.

"No, no, it's just..." She struggles to find the words for a moment, "Your eyes seem sad. I apologise if I am being presumptuous, but... Is everything okay?"

Her question brings a rueful smile to my lips as I unconsciously look down at my lap, staring at my hands.

I know it's not real, but in my mind I see my hands coated thickly in warm, sticky blood, and when I close my eyes I see terrified faces staring back at me in the dozens.

Innocent people dying, being killed by my hand. 

So many lives.

So many stories ended.

It has been a couple of weeks since then, and the nightmares stopped after a couple of days, but it's not something I will forget.

Sometimes I wonder, what would they have written? How would the accounts of those who died by my own hand read? What were they feeling, exactly? Their thoughts?

Were they like Hachiro? Did they mourn others before themselves?

I don't know, and I never will know.

I think that is what I mourned the most. That I can't know.

But.. I find that there's a beauty in that too.

The idea of something being forgotten. It pains me, but also warms my heart. 

There is something uniquely beautiful about a grand story that never gets written down or passed along; known only to those directly involved and forgotten from the world once they all pass away.

I like that. 

It even made me realise something from my last life. I remember that I used to find Stonehenge to be rather beautiful, but I never understood why. It's just a bunch of rocks in a circle after all.

But it is beautiful because no one knows why it exists.

For thousands of years, this monument has stood, withstanding the passage of time in body but not spirit. You can stand there and look at it and just know that someone, sometime, made this. They made it with a purpose, they stood where you stood.

We can't know what they were feeling, who they were or what the purpose was. All we know, is that they existed. Stonehenge is irrefutable evidence that even thousands of years ago, humans were human.

How could that not be beautiful?

So yes. I am sad that I can't know the lives that I took and sad for the pain I caused, but I am also happy for them, for living a life made all the more meaningful by the fact that only they and those close to them will ever know their names.

"Narauko-san?" Ise asks, snapping me out of my introspection.

"Ah, my apologies," I answer with a slight dip of my head, turning a sad smile her way. "Everything is okay, I assure you. It is just that I've realised something recently."

I clench and unclench my hand into a fist, feeling the phantom sensation of lives ending on my palm. "I have realised that beauty is really not an emotion at all."

One look at Ise's face tells me that she doesn't understand what I'm talking about, so I decide to try again. Mostly because verbalising your thoughts and feelings is a good way of solidifying them, rather than because I particularly care if she understands me.

"All my life I have been chasing the beauty of life, wanting to experience it all," I begin, thinking back to my forest. "When I was younger, I would imagine myself seeing wonder after wonder, meeting fascinating, interesting people and experiencing all sorts of amazing, beautiful things."

A sigh leaves me as I slump further against the tree behind me. "However, I now know the mistake that I ignored. Beauty is not happiness. It is not an emotion at all," I turn to look Ise in the eye, wanting to see if she will understand. To see if she even can. "Just because something is beautiful, does not mean that it will bring you joy."

I look, and a small part of me hopes, but I can see it in her eyes that she just doesn't understand. She understands my words perfectly fine, but she just doesn't get it, and that small part of me feels like it's drowning under a crushing weight at the realisation.

Unbidden, pink hair flashes though my mind and I think of Sukuna.

Maybe he will understand? I think to myself, resolving to talk to him later about it. Though, if he doesn't then I think I will cry again, and I've been doing that too much lately, it will get embarrassing.

Still, even if it makes me cry, beauty is what I pursue, not happiness.

"For what reason were you looking for me?" I ask after a short silence, moving the conversation forward as I am no longer interested in sharing my feelings with her, since she clearly can't understand.

Not that I am upset with her or anything. A little disappointed maybe, but humans being each unique to our own is beautiful too, so I can appreciate her not understanding me enough to make up for, well, her not understanding me.

"Right!" She drops a fist into an open palm, the most expressive I've seen her. "A friend of mine wished to speak with you. She is a second year here."

"Oh?" I am always down to meet new people. "Do you know what she wishes to speak with me about?"

I get to my feet and start following her lead as she answers, "She merely wishes to chat. She is curious to meet the newest Special Grade Sorcerer."

"Does she not want to meet Sukuna then?" I ask, noting the way Ise flinches almost imperceptibly.

"Ah, that.." She awkwardly begins. "She did actually want to meet him when he first arrived, but I managed to convince her otherwise."

"Haha, that was probably a good choice on your part, Ise-san," I agree with a laugh, just imagining how Sukuna would react to anyone, especially a student, summoning him as if he is a servant. "He would have killed her on the spot."

"Indeed." Ise agrees. "Though, she wouldn't die so easily. My friend is strong."

It doesn't matter if she's strong, I find myself thinking. 

Inumaki-san was strong too, after all. 

Mentally, I sigh to myself. Ever since Sukuna and I started going on missions together, his words have been having a deeper and deeper impact on me.

It's been a couple of weeks since that mission, and we've been on a few since then. I've also filled up my Shikigami slots all the way to nine.

In this time, every time we've killed a Grade One, whether it was a Curse or an assassin, his words have just resounded deeper.

The Strongest.

That was his claim, and though I did agree with him, I didn't really accept it at the time. It's absurd after all. There are plenty of talented Sorcerers who have been at this for longer than we've been alive.

Sugawara no Michizane is apparently The Strongest, and he's old.

Alas, the vast majority of a Sorcerer's potential is decided from birth, and with every 'strong' opponent that we have felled, it's just become more and more clear.

I'm strong.

Like, really strong.

By the time that thought crystalised in my mind, it was as if my unearned pride suddenly enflamed like a fire poured with gasoline.

That pride that I have been holding with me my entire life for no reason at all, suddenly feels at home. It makes it difficult to deny being The Strongest, because that just feels right to say.

I hope my pride doesn't turn into arrogance at least, I think to myself with a sigh. I spent a lot of time keeping my pride in check after all, it would be annoying if all that effort was wasted.

Damn Sukuna, why do you have to be such a bad influence?

That's right. I'm just going to blame Sukuna for all of my problems. It's not even a lie to say that he deserves it, that guy is a total asshole.

However, if there is one thing that accepting my pride has done to benefit me, it's that my technique has improved.

I only really realised it after the fact, but I've been holding back with it all this time. But now that Sukuna has forced me to stop ignoring my pride, I can't really hold myself back so much anymore.

It was most noticeable when I summoned Reflective Tortoise. After all, until then, all of my Shikigami have been pretty small. Even Lion's Pride was only about the size of a wide horse.

Until then, I'd been holding back my Cursed Energy every time I summoned one of my Shikigami. It was only after my fight with Tamamo that I actually let myself go a little bit, and the result of that was a tortoise the size of a house.

Then there was that whole thing where I died for a bit. My memories of that are all kind of fuzzy, but one thing I can't ignore is how Generous Deer has gone through a qualitive change.

It's not all that much bigger, physically, but its fur now glistens a pure white, like snow, with only the spots of ink black marring its colour. It also now has a truly majestic pair of antlers, and more importantly than any aesthetic change, the amount of Positive Energy it can produce has increased considerably.

Other than Generous Deer, Rabbit Escape and Divine Dog: Totality, my technique is basically a kaiju printer at this point. They're all really big.

The other three don't benefit from a size increase, so they're more normal, though my dog is a lot faster now than I remember him being before.

I can also keep four Shikigami active pretty comfortably now. Five if I really push it, but it's not easy. Similarly, merging my Shikigami either with each other or myself has met several roadblocks.

Ultimately, Jujutsu isn't that simple, unfortunately. Each of my Shikigami is unique, so just because I can merge two doesn't mean that I can merge another two.

I have had more luck merging them together at least, since I have only managed to bear Generous Deer so far. Surprisingly enough, I actually felt like I got closest with one of my newer Shikigami instead of my older ones, so clearly the issue isn't one of time spent together.

I don't know, it's difficult. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it eventually though. It's only been a couple weeks.

Eventually our walk returns us to the main compound of the school, and Ise leads me through a few corridors until we find ourselves entering a closed in garden.

The garden is a square about ten metres by ten metres. There is a green tree I don't know the exact name of in each corner, and the grounds are full of a variety of flowers.

The centrepiece of the garden is the pond dug into the centre, from which a number of lotus flowers bloom. To the side of the pond a small table is set up with three chairs sitting around it. A tea set and a small plate of aosashi, a sweet made of mochi and filled with red bean paste sits on the table.

I've had aosashi only once about a week ago with Kamo-Sensei during an insightful talk about Barrier Techniques. They kind of remind me of jam donuts, even if the taste is completely different. Still, I liked them.

However, it is not the confectionary on the table that draws my attention. Rather, what draws my eye is the woman sitting at it, a steaming cup of tea held firmly in an otherwise delicate hand.

Her hair is long and straight, almost shining a perfectly glossy black. Her skin is smooth and pale without blemish, mostly hidden under a lavish, if casual, dark purple kimono decorated with flower imagery.

Most notably though, is when she turns to us at our entrance, and I meet a pair of pure black eyes that shine with a ring of iridescent light.

"You." She doesn't even wait for us to finish approaching the table before speaking, staring intently at me.

"You," I agree with a smile, meeting her eyes for the second time now.

Ise glances between us as we reach the table and take a seat each without asking to be seated. "Do you two know each other?" She asks, even as she reaches for one of her friend's snacks, her hand getting batted away before it can get close enough to steal one.

"Do you remember that amusing boy I told you about?" Ise's friend says, not looking away from me, and I feel as if she's trying to dissect me with her eyes.

Like when we crossed paths in Edo, I can feel her Cursed Energy fluctuating, but I can't tell what it's doing.

"The one who was more interested in the craftsmanship of your carriage than the lady it carried?" Ise answers, looking at me curiously, making me smile a little bit.

It was a really nice carriage. Kind of made me want one.

"The one and only," Ise's friend answers with a hum, and her staring is starting to get a little weird. "I don't like the way you look at me."

Blinking at the abrupt change in conversation, I can only look in askance at Ise.

"Right, introductions," Ise says. "Narauko, this is my friend Kiyohara no Nagiko. Nagiko, this is Narauko."

"Nice to meet you, Kiyohara-san" I greet almost reflexively, bowing in my seat slightly, as is polite.

"Sure sure, whatever. I don't care about all that formality crap, just call me Nagiko," she says, surprising me. "You really thought I was the Young Lady type? I can't be bothered will all of that."

"Well, in that case," I say, and her eyes widen slightly but too slowly as I snap a hand forward and snatch one of her sweets, immediately taking a bite and exaggeratedly groaning slightly. "Mmm, so good~."

The two ladies stare at me with open shock, and I can only mentally blame Sukuna for making me a less respectful person.

Thankfully, after a brief moment passes, Ise starts to softly laugh, with Nagiko following shortly after.

"So," I begin once they have collected themselves. "To what do I owe the pleasure, Nagiko-san?"

"I merely wanted to see the latest Special Grade with my own two eyes," she quickly answers while Ise pours herself and I a cup of tea.

"How is it?" I ask.

"I'm pleasantly not disappointed," she answers. "You're certainly not a boring man, Narauko."

She really can't meet Sukuna. I might not care about her dropping honorifics, but Sukuna literally kills people if they don't address him respectfully enough.

Saying that though, I can see what Ise meant about Nagiko being strong. I don't think I can completely accurately gauge someone's power just from a glance or anything, but I've only really felt danger from three things before.

First was that mountain I passed on my way here, second was Kamo-Sensei and third was, and still is, Sukuna.

However, looking at Nagiko, I feel a bit of that dangerous sensation in the back of my head. Not to the level of the previous three of course, but that it is present at all makes me think that she's stronger than I am.

"What qualifies men as boring?" I ask, interested in her thought process.

"Talent," she once again answers without pausing to think. "Or the lack thereof. Men without any talent can hardly call themselves men at all."

I feel like there's something deeper to what she is saying that I don't know. Something more to her thought process than just a disdain for the weak and untalented. I want to find out what it is, but I doubt she'll tell me if I just ask right away.

My curiosity demands answers, but I know the value of patience, so I don't ask.

"We've only just met," I say, tilting my head slightly. "How could you measure my talent already?"

Even saying that it's obvious because I'm Special Grade isn't enough, since I got that grade by virtue of having apparently more Cursed Energy than basically anyone other than Sukuna, not via talent like Sugawara.

"Because you've been watching my Cursed Energy this entire time. Even back when we simply passed ways."

"Is that impressive?" I ask, making Nagiko laugh while Ise adopts a somewhat pinched expression.

"Do you know what Black Flash is?" Nagiko asks after a moment, to which I nod my head. 

"It's a phenomena where Cursed Energy impacts within one millionth of a second of a physical strike, causing the blow to be enhanced by two and a half times and putting whoever used it into a heightened state of ability for a bit."

"Close, but not quite," Nagiko says, making me raise a brow.

Ise is the one who explains, picking up from Nagiko who doesn't seem to want to bother. "The common explanation of Black Flash is that it increased the power of a strike by two and a half times, but that is just because most people are not very accomplished in arithmetic. Do you know what an exponent is?"

"Exponent?" I blurt out in surprise, not expecting the term to come up right now.

Ise seems to misplace my question as me not knowing the word however. "An exponent is not a multiplication. To give a simple example, two times three is six, but two to the power of three is two times two times two, making eight."

I mean, I already knew that but I nod my head regardless.

"Black Flash enhances the power of blow by an exponent of two point five, which is a much greater increase than mere multiplication. The arithmetic is beyond most people, but in simple terms, Black Flash is significantly more powerful than you might think."

No wonder Tamamo managed to much a hole through my ribcage. Exponents are scary. Seriously, if someone hit me with just a ten, then what I thought would happen would just enhance it to twenty five. But if what she's saying is true, then it would actually be enhanced to.. three hundred and sixteen?

I imagine the numbers would just get more absurd the greater they are, but the base point still stands, exponents are scary.

"Have you ever experienced one?" Nagiko asks, getting back into the conversation now that she doesn't have to waste her breath explaining things.

"Not directly." My answer makes her brow raise so I continue, "I've been hit by one, but that is the extent of my experience."

"When did you get hit by a Black Flash?" Ise asks in minor astonishment.

"On my way here I met someone and we had a fight," I say with a shrug. "I still won though."

"So you haven't experienced a Black Flash then," Nagiko continues, grinning slightly when I shake my head. "That, is how I can tell you are talented. Because you have such a deep understanding of Cursed Energy, enough to notice the movement of my own energy, all without ever even experiencing a Black Flash. Do you know how many people can see through my Cursed Energy without having experienced a Black Flash?"

I obviously shake my head at the rhetorical question. I didn't even know her name until five minutes ago, obviously I don't know anything about her or her life.

She holds her hand up and makes a circle between her middle finger and thumb. Zero, huh?

"Does experiencing a Black Flash really cause such a significant permanent difference?" I ask, making Nagiko smirk again.

"The difference between Sorcerers who have experienced a Black Flash and those that haven't is like the difference between heaven and earth," Ise answers. "At least in terms of understanding the flow of Cursed Energy anyway. Nagiko here holds the record for the most consecutive uses of Black Flash in a row right now at five, and because of this, there are very few people alive who can understand the flow of Cursed Energy quite as well as her."

I didn't even know it was something that could be used consecutively, or that doing so was impressive, but good to know. Nagiko certainly seems proud of her accomplishments, so I will just assume it's really impressive.

Suddenly, Nagiko's smile falls into a frown and her eye twitches as she abruptly glares at me. "Stop it," she says, confusing me. "I already said it earlier, I don't like the way you are looking at me."

Ise tenses slightly at the glare Nagiko is sending my way, but on my part I am just incredibly confused.

"I apologise, however I am not sure what you mean?"

"You are looking at me as if I'm weaker than you," she accuses, and I feel her Cursed Energy moving again as her brows furrow, "No, you think I'm stronger than you? But that you could beat me in a fight?"

She seems confused by her own words, which is honestly just confusing me too. Thankfully, Ise helps explain the situation.

"Nagiko possesses Cursed Eyes like Sugawara no Michizane's Six Eyes, but different. Her eyes let her see the truth of things," Ise hesitantly explains, though she also seems confused by Nagiko's reaction.

However, that explanation is enough for me to understand the contradiction Nagiko is struggling with.

"Oh, well, I suppose that makes sense," I say before turning to look Nagiko in the eye. "I believe you are stronger than me. I'm still new to all of this, and I can tell you're dangerous just from looking at you. Were we to come to blows, I would be unsurprised if you bested me."

"So you think I am stronger than you, and thus if we fought, you would lose?" Nagiko asks through gritted teeth as I give her a kind smile.

"Nah, I'd win."

It doesn't matter if she is stronger than me, because I am The Strongest. If she is stronger than me, then all I have to do to beat her is to become even stronger.

That's the main difference that I've noticed that separates Sukuna and I from the rest. None of them seem capable of really rising to a challenge. They can fight people equal to or slightly stronger than themselves, but if they are greatly outmatched, they simply die, instead of becoming stronger versions of themselves in order to win.

It's vaguely disappointing, but at least I have Sukuna, someone who will keep up with or surpass me every step of the way.

"Get out," Nagiko says, glaring at me.

I don't answer, simply nodding and departing, leaving my steaming tea and half eaten sweet behind.

I'm not surprised I pissed her off, but a part of me is maybe a little bit irrationally annoyed at her.

I just feel like she should be more dangerous than she is. Maybe if she hates me enough, she'll be able to keep up? Even if it's in the hope of killing me.

Man, I don't know what I'm doing. My head's all in the clouds.

Where's Sukuna? I want to show him a new Barrier Technique I've been working on.

///

A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

Kind of a nothing chapter, but I did need to correct my mistake on how black flash works, and this was a convenient excuse for that. Also got a bit of character development, as well as hopefully showing the growth of Narauko and Sukuna's relationship through the occasional mention like at the end.

Might just say fuck it and have next chapter be some action, but I also kind of want another chapter to expand on Sukuna and Narauko's friendship.

...Maybe a multiple POV interlude? Idk, we'll see.