2-54: Please Wake Up!
“She will be fine,” Kira assured us both between bites of matcha cookies, dribbling crumbs all over the floor. She had immediately raided the pantry upon gaining a voice, it seemed to have given her a newfound confidence. I contended that Hana, ever the gracious host, would have been fine letting her raid the cookie jar had she been conscious. Miku did not look convinced.
While Kira foraged for cookies, Miku and I had laid Hana out on her living room couch. Her body was limp and once we had put a pillow behind her head and stretched out her feet, Miku checked her vitals. Hana was still breathing, that much was good and clear. But other then that she appeared to be out cold. I was nervous. I looked between the girls. I could feel Miku’s discomfort was at war with her polite nature. Kira had finished her cookies and was now squatting on the living room floor. It was clear that Miku did not trust Kira but was unsure of what to say, not wanting to accuse her of anything.
Does Miku really think Kira did this on purpose? That she knocked Hana out!? She seemed just as surprised as the both of us at what happened!
I was unsure of what to think about her myself. After my night with Kira I felt a bond growing, but it was true that I didn't know her that well despite that. Even so.. I felt a kinship with her.
Was I wrong to trust her? Was there some truth to Miku’s suspicions?
I heard a loud sputtering gasping breath and my thoughts shattered into a million pieces. I ran to the couch where Hana had sat bolt upright.
“Water!” She exclaimed, grabbing Miku by the collar of her dress. Miku nodded and gripped Hana’s hands, slowly lowering her back down. “Of course, water,” Miku said softly, stroking Hana’s pink hair and then turning and heading to the kitchen. As she did so she brushed past both me and Kira, practically elbowing us out of the way. I sighed.
Still mad, even madder perhaps.
I knelt beside Hana and she looked up at me, still a little disoriented. I heard Kira giggling behind me and running around on all fours. I didn’t even want to know what she was up to but I assumed she had found something to play with. It seemed her cat nature had returned to her.
“Hana, I’m so sorry… I couldn’t… protect you.” The words came tumbling out of me awkwardly.
She shook her head. “No, no Ryo… it’s.. It’s okay. Kira told me everything. Together we went to the between. We… became one, for a moment, I felt what it was like to be a spirit, and her a human I suppose… it was.. magical.”
“And… now she can speak, did you teach her to do that?”
Hana had a faraway look in her eyes for a moment then shook it off. “Yes… yes I suppose I did.”
Hana’s gaze seemed to follow some kind of movement in the background and I turned to see what she was looking at. Yes indeed, Kira had found a ball and was batting in between her paws,well, her hands I supposed. Although with her fingernails extended I could mistake them for paws, claws or anything but.. I watched as she scampered around in my baggy boxers and oversized t-shirt and tried not to stare too hard as it rode up her naked backside and front, exposing her milky white skin. Just like when I had first met Fenra. I really needed to start keeping spare clothes in the cabin. Actually no, let’s not plan for this drama to occur for a third time. Kira did, at least, provide another customer for Hana I supposed. When she was up for it at least. And when Kira was ready to try on something new. It had been hard enough to get her to wear anything at all.
Eventually Miku returned with a glass of water which Hana gulped down greedily. Once she had finished she seemed to feel much better. The color returned to her face and she sat up fully. She proceeded to explain to Miku what had happened and we all sat on the couch watching Kira, tail wagging, racing across the floor.
I shook my head. I guess you can teach a cat to talk but not to be a human.
“Um, Kira?” Hana asked finally. The cat girl turned and tilted her head. Her yellow eyes looked intent and she batted her eyelashes at me. “How do you… feel? You told me, in the between, that you were lost and you weren’t sure why you were here or who sent you.”
Kira nodded and looked between me and Hana, uncertain. “Y-yes… that’s why I was happy when I met master Ryo. I was so scared outside by myself that night, he found me and saved me!” She beamed and nuzzled up to my leg. I saw Miku roll her eyes but Hana only smiled, appearing to have warmed to the cat girl somewhat after their encounter.
One down, one to go.
“Well I’m glad you helped her speak Hana, and Kira… I hope we can help you find where you belong.” Miku said the words diplomatically and coldly but Kira smiled at her all the same, walking over and nuzzling her leg as well, Miku gave her a wary pat and her tail wagged slightly.
“But Ryo, Hana. We need to talk about the other bit of news. Fenra,” Miku said gravely.
I saw Hana look at her feet but I chose to meet Miku’s stern gaze head on. “Yes, it's unlike her to be gone this long. I…”
“Did you try meditating? Using your connection? Ryo this is serious she could be in danger-” Miku said, interrupting me.
“Of course I did!” I blurted out angrily, finally frustration had taken hold of me and risen to the surface. “Damnit Miku since you’ve become chief you act like you can order everyone around, but not me okay? Not when it comes to these things. I’m tired of it.”
Hana whistled and stood up: “Ok Kira, why don’t we take you to get some new clothes in the back… I think these two have some um… catching up to do? Yea, sure, let's call it that.”
***
You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. It was now just me and Miku in the room. She smoothed out her skirt, looking forward, and not meeting my gaze. I twiddled my thumbs. I focused on my breath. I remembered something grandfather had taught me about anger. That it was like a fire that would eventually burn itself out. It would starve unless you fed it. I desperately needed not to feed this fire. Yelling at her earlier had ignited a fire and now I needed to accept it, andt let it burn.
I could tell what was coming, and I steeled myself
Miku stood up and whirled on me, pointing a polished nail in my face. “Ryo! Ryo-chan you… this is… why?” I could see her eyes were red, she was fighting back tears. She was so angry and upset words were failing. I blinked, trying to keep my own tears from falling.
Say nothing, let the fire pass.
"You think I like this? This distance between us? What we went through… what we shared. It was something special… and after I lost my family… It meant a lot to truly connect with someone. But when I lost my powers I lost my purpose, that's why I'm happy to have my job. And my promotion!” She paused for a moment. She was shaking, red. I could tell it took a lot out of her to speak like this. She was usually so calm and reserved. After a deep breath Miku continued: “And Ryo, you act like I’ve become distant… but look at you! Always so quick to move on, to forget… already? Already, Ryo!? You just told us you lost Fenra and.immediately you adopt a new spirit? And don't you find the timing of all this not in the least bit suspicious?"
It took me a moment to realize Miku was finished and waiting for me to respond. I needed to answer calmly, there was some of what she said that was true… and a lot that wasn’t. That I found hurtful. I exhaled and focused my attention on a singular point of focus. This happened to be a small shrine Hana had set up in her living room to the mountain god. It had oranges and drinks and even a pack of cigarettes in front of it. I knew that Hana didn’t smoke. I wondered then, if this was for someone else. Perhaps the family that was lost in the mining disaster. I wondered then, what had happened to Miku’s family? Yet another mystery.
I could use one of those cigarettes right about now, and a beer. I felt like a middle aged man sometimes, living out here, dealing with the drama of all three women, managing the temple. It was all more than a full time job. But I was grateful for all of it, all the same. It just was… difficult. I ran my fingers through my hair.
“Miku… I’m sorry.” I said simply. I wanted to say so much more, I wanted to rage, to cry, to go through all the emotions I was feeling. I missed Fenra, I missed the way things were. I looked up from the shrine to see that Miku’s face was full of tears. I stood up. I went to her. We hugged. It all felt so natural to have her in my arms once more. I felt the soft skin of her arms around my neck and smelt the lilac-scent of her perfume. We remained that way for some time. She pulled back a little, looking me in the eyes. I saw her lips parted, her eyes hooded. It would be so easy for us to kiss… to fall back into that sensual safe place. But I pulled back.
Miku tucked some stray hair behind her hair and swallowed nervously. The moment had passed. “It’s… okay Ryo. I know it's been hard for you too.” She said finally.
I nodded. “It’s no excuse though, I haven’t reached out much to you. And when Fenra went missing.. It was so terrible Miku, with how busy you and Hana are… she’s all I have. And I felt alone, I felt like I was back in Tokyo. Alone. Purposeless. Useless.”
Miku touched my arm. “No, you aren’t that. You have grown. Even if I worry about your new… friend.”
I sighed. “Yes, Kira. You are right it's strange that she’s just appeared out of nowhere. But I just know she has no ill will. I feel that. Hana sensed it too, didn’t you hear her say so? When they were in the between together? Perhaps Kira can actually help us find Fenra? We still haven’t had a chance to sit down and talk. Maybe if you just got to know her…”
Miku shook her head. “I have to do my job. I will report this as a missing persons case and do my best to investigate it from the side of the law. But the spirit side of this… is beyond me now.”
“A missing person… with cat ears?” I joked. Miku smiled softly but did not laugh.
She’s serious, huh?
“Yes, Ryo. We need to cover this from all angles. And I will do this my way, the proper way. But I know your heart is in the right place… just… be careful. You may find things in this case that are darker and deeper than you expect.”
Buzz buzz. Buzz buzz.
“Shoot I’ve got to take this.” Miku said. She looked from me to the phone, leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Ryo-chan, everything will be okay. Trust me? Say goodbye to Hana for me and be careful.l”
With that she stood and walked away. I watched as her skirt swished back and forth over her supple curves, twisting and conforming to her model-like strut as she headed for the back exit of Hana’s store.
Fuck. She is everything I want, need and can’t have. Miku. How have things changed so drastically, so fast?