Tears of Dusk

Dusk was approaching. The clouds, grey and heavy with rains, had taken on a reddish shade under the setting sun as they moved eastwards away from Vilriver. It had drizzled the whole day and only a few had dared challenge the cold shower and the snow to leave their home in this holiday.

Isyd was seating on a ledge and against a window, on this new spot he had found on the roof of the Library. Wrapped in his darkveil, he was unperturbed by the sharp, cold winds. His eyes were closed and he sat as still as a statue, on his face an expression of utter calm. Naeht phased through the roof tiles and appear next to him, only then did he open his eyes.

“She cried herself to sleep,” Naeht announced. “She couldn’t have communicated with the Baron while I was there, I’m sure.”

Isyd nodded approvingly. He hadn’t expected Tekla to act but wanted to make sure.

“Now, she may still do it once she wakes up…,” Naeht felt necessary to point out.

“We would have dealt with the Baron by then.”

Naeht sat in the air as if on an invisible chair. She faced Isyd with a worried pout on her face.

“Today has been a long day for you, hasn’t it? Are you sure you are okay?”

“I’m fine, Naeht. I had worse days.”

“You know, I thought you would rush directly to the Baron and take back the Blysht after your talk with Tekla…”

Isyd sighed. “I can’t afford the same carelessness they displayed at the Ravasz’s. Also… well I’ve been thinking… about my actions since I regressed back in time.”

“What do you mean?” Naeht cocked her head.

“I have been falling into my old habits, Naeht. Except for you, I am alone here. All of this… even though it’s the past, it feels like an entirely different world. And I know that I am the different one, but I didn’t think it would be this… difficult to adjust. Most of the time, I feel detached from what’s going around me. I don’t do it on purpose, it just… happens, you know? I realize that I’m dismissive of others, I’m distant, I’m cold and I’m self-centred.”

“You are being too harsh on yourself, Isyd!”

“Am I? Think about how the situation we’re in, Naeht. I didn’t care a second about Tekla’s machinations. I knew she was suspicious from the beginning, but I thought her insignificant in the great scheme of things. I dismissed her. I could have asked about the Ravasz and tried to learn more about them and what pushed them out of Blotnia, but I wasn’t interested in the slightest in who they were as persons. Instead, I only focused on the Blysht because I knew how important it was. I was so bent on preparing for the War against the Obcys that I have forgotten to take into account the feelings and actions of the people around me. If one lesson can be drawn from today’s events is that the Obcys are not the only enemies I will have to face.”

“And you say that those are old habits you had? How come?”

“Before you knew me, I was alone for a long time, Naeht. It was mainly at the beginning of the War. It took me years to find myself at the warfront, years spent alone and surviving. Once I joined… well let’s just say that I had to learn how to be around people again. But now, I am back alone in the past. I only realized today that without the Holy Generals… without Wolteh, Felyn, Edmyn or Vil, my old habits are coming back. I’m retreating inside my own mind and dissociating from the outside world…”

“Well, there’s the solution then!” Naeht exclaimed, whirling upward. “You need the Holy Generals in your life!”

“Naeht, the Holy Generals only became a thing during the last years of the War…”

“It doesn’t need to be the case! You can form your own Holy Generals and then go find Wolteh and Felyn and the rest! We can start as soon as now and instead of only twelve, we could have way more! Nobody said that you had to fight alone!”

Isyd said nothing at first, contemplating the idea. His silence only excited Naeht further.

“You know that you will need help eventually, so let’s start early and prepare. Come on, Isyd! It’s gonna be fun! Once upon a time, you told me about the beginning of an idea you had, the ‘Tears’… Don’t you remember?”

“I do remember,” Isyd said with a sad smile. He looked over her shoulders and gazed upon the last rays of sunlight sinking beneath the horizon. Isyd was always taken by a wistful feeling around dusk. The Tears… eh? Perhaps…

Isyd got up from where he sat. “We’ll continue this talk later, Naeht. Let us go, it is time.”

Dusk had finally given way to night and Isyd was ready to confront the thieves and Kazkan.

He grabbed the linen bundle that was by his side and made his way down, way too carelessly for someone tittering so high up. Nobody paid attention to him, most Pupils were still outside the Academy, enjoying the last day of their holiday. Isyd was about to pass the Western Gate when a figure attracted his attention.

Jadwia leant against the bricks of the Gate, watching the in and outs of the Pupils. She had changed into a new uniform and cleaned her long, sandy hair before tying it in a ponytail over her shoulder. She noticed him at the same time he did. Isyd’s first instinct was to ignore her, but instead, he stopped at her level.

“I was waiting for you,” Jadwia said, without meeting his eyes. “I suspected you’d leave by this Gate…”

“Do you need me for something?”

“The Apteyka are furious that you left the Spital without their accords. You may have troubles with Tutor Tchepwa…”

“I have bigger things to worry about for now.”

Isyd watched the young girl with expectative. He suspected she wanted to talk to him about something specific, but she kept dawdling around the question.

“Are you… are you leaving Vilriver again?”

“No, I’m not.”

“So where are you going? Are you not going to see Kewin?”

“No, I’m not.”

That time, Jadwia met his eyes. Isyd was surprised to see the hurt in her eyes.

“Why not? Kewin… Kewin wasn’t even supposed to be there, you know? He had seen me running and searching after you and he just proposed to help… He always did that… offering help, unprompted. He’s too kind. He didn’t need to follow me to the Ravasz’s, but he did and now…”

Her voice cracked and she blinked profusely as if she was trying to hold back tears. Isyd was unsure of what to say, so he said nothing. Naeht appeared next to the young woman and put a ghostly, but reassuring hand on her shoulders.

Jadwia shivered, threw back her shoulders and wiped unshed tears from her eyes. When she looked up once more to Isyd, her expression was determined.

“Are you going to find those who attacked us?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Can I come with you?”

Isyd raised his eyebrows in surprise. Even Jadwia seemed surprised that those words had come from her. Isyd’s instinctive refusal almost passed his lips, but something stopped him. He glanced to the side to see the hopeful smile of Naeht.

Nobody said that you had to fight alone…

“Sure, let’s go then.”