Sweet Sugar Candyman

#11

Saheon’s words seemed to come from a protector who had watched my growth process until now, and yet they also felt like simple curiosity, but there was an inexplicable strange nuance to them.

Due to his somewhat rough chopstick skills, the soft tofu crumbled. I quietly watched Saheon as he tried to cut the tofu.

Saheon pressed down on the red surface of the tofu as if he didn’t know what he was doing. The red surface cracked, revealing the still white interior.

Suddenly, his chopsticks, which had been prying open the soft side dishes, stopped. I could see his brow furrowed tightly. The smile had vanished from his face, and he radiated a dangerous and sharp aura that was hard to approach.

Unknowingly, my lips seemed to harden. Saheon raised his gaze and met my eyes. The strange energy that had been in his eyes earlier now curved refreshingly.

“Come on, my little Mungmung. Ah, come on.”

His tone was playful again. My heart raced violently at the sudden affectionate words. Instead of showing my fluster at the unexpected remark, I put on a mask of shock.

The impact of the endearing nickname, which sounded like something one would say to a lover, combined with a childhood pet name, was tremendous. My face must have turned bright red. I barely managed to put on an angry expression, trying to convey that this was due to my anger and embarrassment.

“Who are you calling that?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

There was no seriousness in his tone at all. His generous way of indulging my sulking made my voice rise in frustration.

“I’m telling you it’s not like that.”

“Is that so?”

“Stop it.”

“Hyung, it’s because you still see Mungmung as a child.”

Saheon comforted me gently. I opened my eyes fiercely, but when he raised an eyebrow, I quickly relaxed. A mumbling excuse slipped out between my lips.

“It’s not….”

Saheon pretended not to hear. I listed everything that adults could do: college life, drinking with my father, getting a driver’s license, yet I was still treated like a child. I wasn’t particularly youthful-looking, so it was clear that Saheon treated me like a younger sibling purely because he had seen me grow up. For the first time in 20 years, I almost regretted living next door.

The tofu stew approached my sulking lips. It was the largest remnant of the side dishes that Saheon had cut up like sashimi. The tip of the chopsticks playfully tapped my lower lip.

“Open your mouth.”

I felt like small, soft fragments of food were sticking to my lips. Saheon looked at me intently, folding his eyes in half as he smiled. A languid command followed.

“You have to eat it, Cheongmyeong.”

I opened my sulky lips and let Saheon’s chopsticks dig into my mouth. The tofu stew felt firm yet crumbled easily when rubbed with my tongue. I mumbled the food that had entered my mouth without being able to erase my sulky expression.

“Is it good?”

“Yeah.”

The answer came out steadily. I briefly covered my mouth with my hand, worried that the food inside might be visible when I spoke, and when I saw that he had no intention of continuing the conversation, I lowered my hand and kept chewing.

Saheon’s gaze seemed to be checking if I was eating well. He silently watched my lips and cheeks, then finished his meal by shoveling the remaining plain rice into his mouth without any side dishes. Because of the abruptly ended meal, I hastened my chewing.

“Eat slowly.”

With someone who had already finished their meal in front of me, there was no way I could eat slowly. I stuffed the remaining plain rice into my mouth just like Saheon had done. Perhaps because I had shoved a third of the rice bowl into my mouth at once, it felt like the grains were piling up in my throat. Hyung chuckled softly.

“With a small mouth like that, what are you saving the rice grains for?”

Even though I tried to respond, my cheeks were so full that I couldn’t manage it. I could tell without looking in a mirror that I must have looked like a hamster stuffing sunflower seeds or a squirrel hoarding acorns.

Moreover, since it was plain rice without any side dishes, my mouth felt dry and parched. No matter how hard I chewed, the food didn’t seem to diminish. While my mouth was full, Saheon took the empty bowls and placed them in the sink.

I pulled my chair back and turned my body towards Saheon, who was standing in front of the sink. He seemed to have sensed what I was about to say and preemptively cut off the conversation.

“Don’t even think about touching anything.”

Seeing him pull out the rubber gloves, it seemed like he intended to do the dishes. I chose to close the lids of the side dish containers. But his words stopped me.

“Don’t even think about getting up.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?”

Finally swallowing the massive lump of rice, I asked in a hoarse voice. Saheon, still holding the rubber gloves, offered me a glass of water from the water dispenser. Thanks to the island structure that connected the sink and dining table, his waist was right in front of my eyes.

“Just stay there.”

“But….”

“Then you can be my conversation partner while I do the dishes.”

With a task assigned to me, I swallowed my complaints. As Saheon was organizing the side dishes to put in the refrigerator, he chuckled softly at the already separated side dishes inside.

“Can I just give this to Kwon Chae-hun as it is?”

“Yeah.”

“Wasn’t there a shortage of containers?”

“It fit perfectly, so it was fine.”

“Good job, Mungmung.”

Soon, the sound of cool water hitting the metal sink could be heard. I sat in my chair, half-turned, watching Saheon.

Perhaps because he was tall, it looked uncomfortable for him to wash the dishes at the low sink. I also felt back pain when helping my parents or aunt with the dishes, and I imagined that it would be even worse for someone taller than me like Saheon.

He moved his hands very slowly. There wasn’t much to wash in the first place, so if I had done it, it would have taken about three minutes. However, Saheon only hummed a little tune occasionally.

I cooled my parched throat with cold water. I cooked, and he cleaned up. Perhaps due to the influence of media I had watched for a long time, my imagination was too vivid.

Newlyweds. Once again, a contextless word floated in my mind. At this point, I felt like I should get tested for an addiction. To shake off the thought that my cheeks were naturally heating up, I asked a question to wake Saheon.

“When do you go to work, Hyung?”

“Um… I’m off tomorrow, and the day after is a holiday I couldn’t take off, so I’ll be going to work on the 4th. That’s the day Cheongmyeong starts school.”

I swallowed the water that Saheon had handed me. It felt like something thick that had been stuck in my esophagus was being washed away. The sound of scrubbing with soap filled the silence of our conversation.

“Since it’s the first day, should I give you a ride, Hyung? If it’s a morning class, it should be fine.”

“Huh?”

I couldn’t hide my surprise in my response. My hand naturally tightened around the cup.

“I just have to be at the headquarters by 2 PM. I think there will be enough time, but what if I get confused about which bus to take? It would be nice to confirm while riding with you. I still don’t know how long it takes to get here by bus or car.”

I imagined being alone in the car with Saheon. He would be driving to work, and I would be in the passenger seat going to school. The thought that I might need to get tested for an addiction floated up again.

“It’s okay, Hyung. It’s a hassle for you. I know I just need to take the 3300 bus from the bus stop right in front….”

Despite my heart, my mouth was only producing polite sounds. In my mind, I was also imagining picking up Hyung on my day off or after work.

Of course, I would like to be with Hyung, but it felt like I was showing too much of my fondness for him. I suppressed the trembling voice that wanted to ask him to ask again.

“It would be good to check the direction when going and see how long it takes by bus when coming back. What if I’m late on the first day and get marked by the professor? Just get in, I’ll give you a ride.”

Fortunately, Hyung made another suggestion. I pretended to look apologetic, but I nodded as if I couldn’t resist. The sound of dishes clinking together could be heard.

Suddenly, I remembered that there was something I needed to buy at the mart, but I quickly brushed it aside. I thought that moments like this, talking while looking at Saheon’s back, might be more precious. I continued the conversation in a voice as similar to my usual tone as possible.

“Where are you going on Monday when you go to work? When will you be back?”

“On the 4th at 2 PM… I’ll go to Ho Chi Minh Quick Turn. I’ll take a day and a half off, then from dawn, I’ll be going around domestic flights from Gimpo, take another day off, and then fly to Bangkok at night.”

I didn’t fully understand what Saheon was saying, but I made small sounds of agreement, pretending to listen. As he slowly recounted his schedule, he asked.

“When is the start of classes?”

“The Friday of the week classes start.”

“You can’t say it like that, Hyung. What date is it?”

“Um… the 9th? I think it’s the 9th.”

I folded my fingers to count the numbers. I wasn’t sure if it was accurate, but it seemed like the date was roughly right. Hyung, who had slightly furrowed his brow and made a sound of contemplation, said,

“You should drink moderately. I’ll be in Bangkok then, so if you get drunk, I won’t be able to pick you up.”

There was a hint of laughter in his last words. I was momentarily dazed by the fact that I naturally thought Hyung would come to pick me up, and I quickly added,

“I’ll be fine; I can handle my alcohol.”

“Sure.”

His chuckle lacked sincerity. I explained the reason based on reality rather than my strong alcohol tolerance, which he wouldn’t believe.

“I don’t know anyone among my peers, so if I leave in the middle, no one will notice, so it’ll be fine.”

“When you go to university, everyone makes new friends. Hyung did too.”

“No… I didn’t go to the freshman welcome party or orientation. I really don’t know anyone.”

Hyung, who had been scrubbing the dishes slowly, paused for a moment. He turned to look at me with a surprisingly shocked expression.

“You didn’t go? Why?”

“Yeah… I couldn’t go once because I caught the flu, and another time I couldn’t go because a relative passed away, and I had to attend the funeral.”

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go; it was just that circumstances had prevented me from attending, but seeing Hyung’s surprised expression made me feel like I had committed a huge mistake. Hyung seemed to have forgotten about washing the dishes and quickly asked.

“You have a group chat, right? Didn’t you introduce yourself there?”

“When I woke up, the introductions were already over, so it felt a bit awkward to do it again….”

Saheon seemed at a loss for words, his lips pursing. With a somewhat troubled expression, he asked seriously.

“Do you know the name of the professor for your major?”

“I knew it, but I forgot….”

“What about the textbook information?”

“It was posted in the group chat announcement.”

“How did you register for classes?”

“I just figured it out somehow… but I registered for all the required courses and also for some electives.”

Having teacher parents, I was used to feeling like I was being scolded by a teacher, but I never expected to feel that from Saheon as well.

“Do you know how many spots there are?”

“Thirty.”

“Wow….”

Saheon exclaimed as if to congratulate me on successfully becoming an outsider. I felt embarrassed even though I knew this wasn’t the right situation.

As the admiration faded, the sound of water filled the space. Hyung continued washing the dishes, clinking the bowls together. His lips were slightly parted, as if he were imagining a college life that I didn’t know about. Suddenly, a sense of unease began to creep up.

“I still successfully registered for all my classes. Oh, and I chose popular elective courses.”

A voice that sounded like I was making excuses slipped out. It was almost as if I was trying to reassure myself. Saheon was still looking at me with his lips slightly parted. A desperate explanation followed.

“It’s called Cats and Physics. Isn’t it cute?”

Saheon seemed to have truly run out of things to say. Realizing that the cat was Schrödinger’s cat would come much later.