Surviving As An Obsessive Servant

I deliberately spoke more coldly.There was no way the young master would allow my resignation, and if I followed the proper procedures, there was a chance my identity would be exposed.Hesitating at my firm and resolute attitude, the butler eventually turned toward the safe.When I received the pouch of money and stepped outside, I felt no joy at all. My heart felt as heavy as if it weighed a thousand pounds.As I lifted my head, I met Sir Blivan’s gaze. Before coming here, I had told him separately that I would be quitting and asked him not to escort me anymore.He simply looked down at me with an unreadable expression but didn’t stop me.I didn’t feel regretful. If anything, I was relieved.‘…Sigh.’Even though I had already prepared myself for this, just staying here any longer felt suffocating and exhausting. The only thing I wanted now was to leave as soon as possible.I walked down the hallway, which felt unusually long today, lost in thought.What if… I had truly been born a man? If that were the case, I could have remained a servant honorably, regardless of my health. I had imagined that scenario countless times, even though I knew it was absurd.That was how much I had enjoyed serving the young master. How much happiness and fulfillment it had brought me.But it was nothing more than a foolish fantasy.Hoping to stay longer, to form lasting bonds with the young master and others, was just pure greed.From the start, I had never been qualified to be a servant. And besides, I had a family waiting for me.People who had sacrificed themselves for me over the course of two lifetimes. I couldn’t let my selfish desires put them in danger.I was simply returning to where I belonged. With that thought, I quickened my pace.Especially since, thanks to Evo’s help, I had already arranged for a wandering coachman to take me away. I had to leave immediately.“Hey, Lobel!”Rimson had apparently just heard the news and came rushing toward the front gate.I was already climbing into the carriage I had arranged beforehand.“Hey, wait! Stop!! Why are you in such a hurry?!!!”I didn’t even have time to calm him down, so I ignored him and got into the carriage.Rimson pounded roughly on the old carriage window, fuming.“What the hell do you think you’re doing, leaving without a word?! Get out right now!”“I… I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you in advance.”“You shouldn’t be apologizing to me! You were so devoted to the young master, and now you’re just running away like this?! At least wait until he gets back!!!”“…Please take care of the young master.”I deliberately avoided looking at him and tapped the driver’s seat instead.Rimson, momentarily dumbfounded, couldn’t react fast enough, and the carriage began moving.“Hey, you idiot! HEY!! LOBEL!!! You can’t just quit like this!!!!”He even tried running after the departing carriage, calling my name.But I didn’t respond.If I said a proper goodbye to Rimson, I might never be able to leave.Selfishly, I just wanted to avoid this situation. Anything I said now would only be a lie.I turned my head and looked at Rimson. He had stopped running and was standing there, panting heavily.“…Stay safe and take care.”After that, the carriage sped up, and along the way, I switched clothes and transferred to different carriages several times.Most of them were run by wandering coachmen.After the first carriage, they were so packed with people that there was barely any space to sit, but I still wore my hooded robe tightly and rode in silence.It was all to ensure that no traces of me remained later.Even though I was curled up in discomfort, it was bearable. What truly weighed on me was my heart.The moment I had longed for—fully recovering and returning home—didn’t feel refreshing or joyful at all.I had never felt this mentally drained before in my life. I just sat in the carriage, staring blankly into space, unsure of what I was thinking.Other passengers occasionally asked me questions, and some chatted about various topics, but nothing registered in my mind.Lost in thought, I barely noticed how fast the carriage was moving.Before I knew it, I saw a familiar landscape outside the window.‘…I’ve finally left the southeastern region.’During the coachman’s rest stop, I stepped out of the carriage and onto the ground.Something crunched beneath my feet, and when I looked down, I saw fallen leaves scattered along the roadside.“…The leaves are already falling here.”At thirteen, this was the first time I had ever stepped on autumn leaves with completely healthy legs.The sound of leaves crunching underfoot, the scent of dried grass, the crisp air… All of these vivid sensations felt strangely surreal to me.As I absentmindedly listened to the sound of my steps rustling through the leaves, I turned to look at the road behind me.It stretched on endlessly, too far for me to ever go back.  ****  “Traveling to the northern base yourself is far too dangerous.”At Benjamin’s words, Denian nodded in agreement.The conquest of the three northernmost bases, originally planned to take half a year, was completed much faster than expected.With the disruption tactics ordered by the Duke of Denkart, the Orléans Alliance, which had initially sworn to share the resources of the region, fell into internal disputes.And when their distrust reached its peak, Denkart’s private army moved in and crushed them all.Naturally, all the newly discovered, vast resources and rare ancient tablets buried in the region became Denkart’s spoils.Even though countless tributes had to be presented to the imperial family, the final victory belonged to Denkart.However, the barbarians who had long settled in the vicinity showed no signs of giving up.Denian, his face noticeably gaunt compared to before, spoke gravely.“Even if the barbarians have withdrawn for now, there’s no telling when they might return, revealing their savage nature once again.”Beyond that, many dangers still lurked in the area—remnants of the war-like conflict that had unfolded there.Half-collapsed buildings, traps scattered throughout the ruins, and polluted air made the place extremely hazardous.No matter how necessary it was to have someone directly manage the region, it was not a situation that warranted the Duke of Denkart’s personal involvement.It would be a constant battle for survival, one where peace was never guaranteed.Denkart possessed enough wealth and influence to delegate such matters to others.Just as he had done when the conquest campaign began, they assumed the duke would entrust this task to someone else as well.Yet, contrary to the desperate concerns of his subordinates, the Duke of Denkart responded with an indifferent tone.“It is the emperor’s command, so I must obey.”Both advisors, who had long despised the emperor, stiffened at his words.This was nothing new.The emperor had a habit of dumping all the tasks that other nobles refused onto Denkart.At first, they believed the duke was acting out of extraordinary loyalty, but within less than a year of serving him, they realized the truth.That cunning old emperor was exploiting Denkart to the fullest.Not since the days of William I—when the imperial family was mocked for treating Denkart like its hunting dog—had such blatant abuse occurred.“This mission is far too dangerous. Please, allow me to handle it instead.”“I will go. I have been involved from the beginning, so it would be most appropriate for me to take charge.”The two advisors’ loyalty shone through.However, the Duke of Denkart, who had maintained a bored expression all this time, finally spoke.“There is no need for either of you to go. Nor for me.”“……?”“Then… are you planning to entrust the task to Count Clant or another vassal?”“This is an imperial decree. I cannot send them.”The duke turned to his bewildered advisors and asked,“I heard that Edric has completed his studies.”Denian’s previously tense face brightened.Edric’s academic progress had been so impressive that even Count Clant and the other instructors had expressed their admiration.Not only did he learn quickly, but he also worked hard, leaving no room for criticism.Even Sir Blivan had recently begun to acknowledge his swordsmanship.“Is that correct?”“Yes. His swordsmanship and martial skills are significantly superior to those of other noble youths.”Denian, who had answered with pride, suddenly hesitated.The duke, who had been sipping his tea, had curved his lips into a chilling smile.“Hm. I see.”It was an expression he only made when solving particularly troublesome problems.But in this situation, nothing had been resolved.If anything, the problem had only grown worse.Noticing the strange contradiction, Denian’s expression gradually hardened.‘Surely… he’s not planning to send the young master there, is he…?’Judging by Benjamin’s stiffened face, he had reached the same conclusion.Only the duke remained composed, finishing his tea in silence.  *****  Edric wanted to help Lobel.He wanted to repay Lobel, who had been a strong pillar of support when the duchess tried to harm him.So, Edric decided to personally investigate and visit Lobel’s hometown.Once he learned that Lobel was a woman, the search became unexpectedly easy.Edric remembered all the words and expressions Lobel often used, and they turned out to be the key clues.She sometimes used words not from the capital or the southeastern region but from a specific commercial city.After determining the destination, he concealed his identity and traveled, finally arriving at this place.‘This could be… Lobel’s true hometown, Velican.’The city, bathed in sunlight so intense it stung his eyes, was bright and full of energy.Laughter filled the faces of passersby, and even the signs displaying the city’s name shimmered under the sunlight.It felt like a city that suited Lobel perfectly. He could almost see visions of her cheerfully running around everywhere.‘I always wanted to visit Lobel’s hometown someday… but I never expected to come here like this.’A deep sense of nostalgia washed over him.As Edric gazed at the lively city with interest, he finally arrived at his intended destination—the White Shadow Guild.At the sight of Denkart’s heir, the guild master rushed over in a panic.But instead of carrying himself like a guild leader, he gave off the impression of a merchant, confidently assuring Edric that he would soon provide results regarding Lobel.His overly self-assured attitude made Edric feel slightly suspicious.After finishing his request, Edric stepped out into the corridor of the building, only to be approached by someone.It was one of the trusted aides who served the duke.Edric felt an inexplicable sense of unease.“…Why are you here?”“The duke has given orders. He instructed me to find you quickly and deliver a message, knowing that you would be in your attendant’s hometown.”‘So, the duke knew about Lobel as well. If that’s the case… why did he turn a blind eye?’It wasn’t surprising that the duke would always be aware of Edric’s movements.But there was no reason for him to have kept track of Lobel as well. That wasn’t like him.A strange sense of déjà vu crept over him as the duke’s aide politely handed him a robe, offering to guide the way.Donning the robe, Edric followed him to a large trading company nestled among rows of merchant buildings.It seemed to be a long-established business—while the brickwork was worn and some areas looked aged, everything was neatly maintained.More than anything, the three large entrance doors bustled with merchants whose faces were bright and filled with energy.The aide, as if he had been here before, confidently led the way through one of the three doors. Then, he entered a room and flung open the window wide, as if searching for someone outside.Was the duke coming here? As Edric’s suspicion deepened, the aide spoke softly.“They’ve arrived just in time.”The moment he finished speaking, commotion erupted outside. Among the voices, Edric recognized one.He abruptly rose from his chair and rushed to the window. Peering outside, he spotted two silver-haired youths.Edric’s eyes widened as he observed them.‘…Lobel?’At first glance, both had silver hair and slender builds, making them look strikingly similar.One of them wore a robe with the hood pulled up, making it difficult to tell them apart.But even from behind, Edric knew without a doubt which one was Lobel.‘Why is Lobel here right now?’