Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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Skylar’s body had stiffened, and his neck creaked as he slowly turned his head toward me.

It felt like seeing a husband caught in the act of cheating. Of course, it didn’t mean I was his wife, but the analogy just popped into my head.

“W-What conversation?”

Skylar rarely stuttered. Considering that stuttering was usually my role, it was quite an amusing sight to witness.

“Your family, and your secret.”

“Didn’t I already talk about all that?”

“You explained it by saying you merely had a body, but everyone present noticed the contradiction in your words.”

“…”

“How is it that you still look like a child even though you don’t possess a body right now?”

There were no signs of intelligence dropping again.

Given the current situation, it was wise to gather as much information as possible. I made that judgment and pressed on Skylar.

I stood up and approached the chair that Skylar was sitting on. He slowly pushed the chair back until it finally hit the wall.

With the chair pressed against the wall, I stood in front of him, blocking any chance of retreat. He was truly in a bind.

I continued my advance toward the cornered Skylar.

Finally, I stood in a position where I could look down at him.

I bent over to match his eye level, but for some reason, the distance felt strangely off, and it seemed our faces were about to collide, so I leaned back a little more.

With that, I opened my mouth.

“Looks like you have nowhere to run now?”

“Uh, um…”

“Don’t try to deflect or change the subject. I need answers from you today.”

“Selina.”

“Calling my name won’t get you off the hook.”

“No, it’s just that I can see your chest.”

Ehh.

…Huh?

People’s intelligence can drop faster than I expected.

I immediately looked down at my shirt. Technically, my chest wasn’t visible, but the faint valley between them was in my line of sight.

There were clear signs left over from just having struggled in the mountains.

From sticky sweat to dirt that I didn’t even know when it had gotten there. It looked a bit slimy yet soft at the same time.

I quickly sealed the gap with one hand.

Sealing it was perhaps a strong term; I simply grabbed both sides of my shirt.

My face flushed, and I stepped back.

Disheveled clothes and sleeves, and the embarrassed expression of a beautiful woman fixing herself up reflected in the mirror. Right, that was me.

“I-I’ll talk next time.”

I dashed away from that spot.

I tried to leave the room, but the door wouldn’t open.

“Well, this is a special room provided for platinum adventurers. It can’t be opened by ordinary means.”

I felt like crying.

Somehow, they always opened the door for me first.

It wasn’t because they liked me; they were just doing it out of necessity.

*

The surroundings quieted down a bit, and I sipped tea alone.

Before falling into this world, my hobby had been to buy expensive tea and drink it alone. Well, if I had to be precise, binge-gaming with alcohol and caffeine was what I was most into.

Anyway, I felt a bit warmer inside.

Since Skylar was in the same room, I couldn’t indulge in the luxury of soaking my body in hot water, and I was still feeling messy, but my mind was stabilizing.

Skylar was now bustling like a little kid, pacing around the cramped room, checking me out.

Feigning to check scrolls, glancing over.

Pretending to go to the bathroom, sneaking peeks.

Checking equipment, just glancing over.

It was a sight I could hardly bear.

“If you have something to say, just say it.”

“I wasn’t trying to look.”

“I know that.”

“…Yes.”

“Is that all?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, is that really all you have to say? Nothing more?”

“Um, I’m sorry for hiding until now. I meant to tell you someday, but the timing kept getting delayed.”

Still, my mood wasn’t improving.

Honestly, it wasn’t something to be upset about, but I just felt an urge to vent on someone.

For no reason, I was just irritated.

Annoyance and anger bubbled up.

My head throbbed, and my lower belly felt oddly heavy. I didn’t even want to move, and anything small made me sensitive.

A little, I could feel heat rising from my forehead and ears.

Ultimately, I chose to lie down on the bed without even washing up. The pure white sheets were stained with dirt and dust, but that wasn’t something I would fret over.

After all, the guild receptionist or Skylar would do the cleaning, right?

“Selina…?”

Skylar came over and peeked his face closer.

From my position staring at the ceiling, it felt like his somewhat handsome face popped up from the corner of my left view.

“What?”

I answered defiantly, short and furious.

“There’s only one bed.”

“And?”

“…It’d be nice if you could leave a little space for me.”

I stretched my arm to take away the space Skylar could lay on.

If he looked at me from the ceiling, I wondered if I would resemble a starfish. But at this moment, causing a scene was much more important than how ridiculous I looked.

“Selina.”

“Hmph.”

“…Are you sulking because I lectured you on using magic in your eyes?”

“No.”

“Then, is it because I suggested saving money by filling up your stomach with cold, hard bread instead of soft bread?”

“That’s not it either.”

“Okay. I’ll be honest about everything. Starting with why I look like a child, our relation to the Witch of the West, and what happened in the past—”

“Wrong.”

Skylar stared at me blankly.

His head was above mine while I lay on the bed, allowing me to appreciate his shadowy face and eyes from below.

To be honest, I was a bit scared.

His golden eyes shone through his dark face, making it look like he could kill someone.

‘Did I go too far…?’

Skylar stared at me for a long moment before abruptly shifting his gaze to the window. He still appeared cold and expressionless.

I began to speak in a trembling voice.

“…S-Skylar?”

“Shh.”

Skylar placed a finger to his lips, signaling me to keep quiet.

Then, carefully, he reached into his pocket.

Having seen that motion many times before, I immediately recognized what it was.

‘…A scroll?’

Right. It was the precursor motion for casting a scroll.

No, it was true that I was at fault, but I hadn’t messed up to the extent of being hit with a scroll…!

I tightly shut my eyes and trembled in darkness, imagining the terrifying future approaching me. But no matter how much time passed, nothing happened.

I cautiously opened my tightly shut eyes and saw Skylar pulling a bow and arrow from the scroll.

Crack.

Skylar opened the window and nocked a blue arrow onto the magical bowstring.

And then he shot.

Caw!—

Thud.

A crow outside screamed and dropped to the ground.

I hastily sprang up and looked at the fallen crow. However, for some reason, there was nothing left at the spot where the crow should have fallen.

No, upon closer inspection, there was something.

‘A pale… What is that?’

Something white and small.

Human teeth.

“Skylar, this is….”

“It seems Osidens is more obsessed than I thought.”

“What on earth did you do?”

“…Since there’s no one to overhear, I’ll slowly start to explain. But can you promise me one thing?”

“Uh? What is it?”

“Please calm down after you hear all this.”

I broke into a sweat.

Honestly, I wasn’t genuinely angry.

I felt slightly guilty about telling a lie for no good reason.

But I quickly reinforced my conscience! It doesn’t hurt anymore!

Unlike my fragile health, strength, and intelligence, my conscience was incredibly robust and had high regenerative abilities!

I swallowed down the blood that had surged back up my esophagus discreetly and listened intently to Skylar’s story.

“This is… a little bit of an old tale. It was when I, no, our exploration team first discovered God’s Body.”