Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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The easiest thing to deal with is a beast that has lost its reason.

Those swept away by emotions lose their wisdom and cannot calculate.

Wizards are particularly sensitive beings when it comes to calculation.

No matter how high they rise, wizards ultimately calculate all variables and simulate the environment in their minds.

Calculations skewed by emotions cannot specify accurate ranges.

—But, what if it’s not magic?

Crunch.

Crackle.

The roots of the trees that were blocking our view were slowly rising.

It seemed as though a formless but massive contradiction was pulling the trees out.

Adventurers gaped at a scene that couldn’t be understood by human logic, looking up at the sky. Then, trees that were slightly raised from the ground suddenly smashed down.

Some trees toppled without being firmly planted in the ground, but most returned to their original places.

“…You’re using something quite peculiar, huh?”

“Pardon?”

“Is this the power of the eyes? Is this a way to manipulate human emotions? Ah, so that’s how you swayed my brother’s heart with those eyes. That’s why you were being embraced.”

I was seen through.

In retrospect, there were times when the powers of options and the eyes didn’t connect or failed. I had tried provoking Skylar and it had failed.

In reality, when I was performing, I had unwittingly channeled magical power into my eyes to charm the adventurers, but Skylar was not enchanted.

However, this was the first time I faced someone who didn’t respond despite the system indicating a ‘great success.’

‘No… it did work. I can see that you’ve lost your calm.’

It was a bit embarrassing to confess this, but I had gradually used it later when obtaining food or buying necessities.

Swallow.

Yes. I was scared now.

I thought the ‘fearful’ trait had been working a bit less lately, but it activated with such intensity at this moment.

My thoughts were paralyzed.

Sweat flowed down my neck. My back was damp, making my clothes cling to me like latex. My hands were trembling. I held my wrist with the other hand, desperately trying to calm myself.

I wasn’t calming down at all. In fact, even my previously steady hand began to tremble as well.

I tried to swallow, but nothing went down.

I was as stiff as a stone in this place, merely breathing. Not even a blink was permitted. The air felt heavy.

“Osidens, stop. First, answer the question I asked.”

“In the end, my body was the goal, right?”

“Choosing such words can lead to misunderstandings.”

“I will never give you my left hand.”

“I need your left hand. With this body lacking magical power… I can’t do anything.”

Skylar’s purpose was indeed getting the body.

Did he drag me along to make use of the inherent attraction between humans possessing bodies? Was I really just a useful tool to him?

For a moment, I thought I could trust him, but really… I thought I could truly trust him.

I bit down hard on my molars.

I was angry.

Still, I found that I was able to trust him on one side of my heart.

That’s why I chose to manage my anger rather than release it.

I opted to hold back tears instead of biting my molars too hard.

I simply looked at Skylar quietly with my damp eyes that had absorbed moisture more than before. He turned his head and met my gaze.

Sounds emerged from within.

It was his voice.

‘Can you hear me?’

‘…How?’

‘Remember when Osidens appeared and you were questioning me, and I stuck a scroll inside your robe?’

‘Yeah.’

‘It’s a [Decay] scroll. It’s expensive, so it should hold for a while.’

‘I have a mountain of questions.’

‘For now, let’s focus on surviving. Honestly, I never thought communication would break down like this. After all, there were cases like Propertyius and Nisha.’

‘Speaking of which, how do you know Propertyius, Nisha, and even the Witch of the West, that incredible villain?’

‘I’ll tell you once we survive this. Sorry for unilaterally deciding on this request.’

‘…Can we really survive?’

‘I have a good idea.’

‘Yes.’

‘First, I need you for this plan.’

‘…Huh?’

‘Selina, to be honest, I’m clumsy when dealing with others. So… please convince Osidens. Help us and the other adventurers get out of here safely.’

Suddenly, a heavy burden was placed on my shoulders.

—

You thought.

The only breakthrough in this situation was — just that.

—

Rhetoric, eloquence.

Even if you spout nonsense, others will consider your words plausible.

Even if it’s spoken through the mouth of another.

—

Adventurers already appeared as if they had erased the possibility of surviving from their minds.

Those who had given up on life, blankly accepting their fate.

And those refusing to accept, wildly slashing at the corpses around them.

They were simply divided into two groups.

The fact that Skylar and the Witch were conversing as acquaintances no longer mattered to them.

What truly mattered was scattered and disappearing amid the waves of emotion.

And, the Wizard Boy walked slowly forward. At the end of his steps awaited the Witch of the West, Osidens, half-lying next to great skulls.

“Ah, you’ve finally made your decision. Just toss that counterfeit aside, it’s not even worth looking at. I can do better.”

“Osidens.”

“Brother.”

“Unfortunately, I’ve lost my heart right now. I thought as a wizard you would understand what a heart means.”

“…Yes.”

“I’m currently unable to feel love for you. So, can’t you grant me permission to continue this journey until I find my heart again?”

“What does that even mean?”

“If I regain my heart, I might come to love you. If so, perhaps I could spend time with the real you instead of that substitute.”

Skylar sent a message to Selina.

‘…Is this right?’

‘Yes. This is right.’

I began analyzing the character named Osidens.

Trembling with fear, yet my mind was clear. In fact, I felt rather refreshed.

I slowly started listing the characteristics of the Osidens I had observed.

Osidens, Witch of the West, one of the Witches of Defense, and among the strongest wizards in the world.

I would guess on par with a platinum adventurer or even more.

Owned a body, her left hand.

When I first met her, I thought she was a monster wearing human skin that knew nothing of human emotions, but her changed attitude during conversations with Skylar clearly showed undeniable proof of humanity.

‘Her gaze filled with affection towards Skylar, jealousy directed at me, and an attitude as if only she and Skylar mattered here.’

Rhetoric is the ability to observe a situation, make judgments, and choose the right words.

I quickly came to a conclusion.

‘That girl is probably a lovesick lunatic witch who is obsessed with Skylar. Whatever she did in the past to get entangled with such a girl can be set aside for later; let’s think of a solution.’

The solution wasn’t complex.

A woman blinded by jealousy and love always loses her judgment and acts emotionally. Just like someone with low intelligence!

No, that doesn’t mean I’m a woman blinded by jealousy and love. No.

‘Anyway, let’s adjust to her while following my lead.’

‘…You know thoughts can be heard in Decay mode, right?’

‘I wasn’t aware of that.’

‘No, first tell me. How should I speak?’

‘Just follow what I say.’

Hoo—ha—

I took a deep breath slowly.

Skylar took a deep breath with me.

Osidens, who was focused narrowly on Skylar, hadn’t a clue to my actions.

‘I love you. But right now, I can’t love you.’

“I love you. But right now, I can’t love you.”

Skylar screamed in Decay mode.

“Aaaaaah—! No, don’t just say anything like it’s someone else’s business!”

“Skylar, trust me.”

Osidens’ face turned bright red.

Yeah. Certainly, Skylar was a pretty boy. While he hadn’t fully grown yet, he would undoubtedly become a stunning man once he matured…!

A young pretty boy declared his love for an older lady.

It’s hard to find such destructive power. Especially for a wretched, psychotic witch like her; those are words she’d probably never heard before in her life, “I love you?”

I just slightly resembled her, didn’t I? But in terms of character, I was complete trash, right?

She wouldn’t be able to get married like that.

‘…No, well, I guess it’s fine if she doesn’t get married.’

I regained my composure.

Time passed briefly, and Osidens opened her mouth.

The witch spoke with the expression of a girl in love.

“Uh, yeah. I’ll wait….”

Skylar and I simultaneously exchanged the same thought in Decay.

‘‘This is working.’’

No, there was something even more important than our foolish strategy working.

What did Skylar do in the past to have a sister like that?

‘If I ever meet you again, I’ll kill you by any means necessary. This feels terrible. I’m frustrated. My chest feels tight.’

Corpses slowly collapsed, and the witch vanished.

The exhausted adventurers seemed to have lost their strength and plopped down on the ground.

It was time to leave the forest.

—And, it was time for explanations.

*

The perspective shifts to Osidens.

The witch, known by the name of a wizard, was initially a profession closest to the heavens, yet also the farthest from humanity.

Those who had accumulated profound magical power in their hearts see the world without relying purely on the five senses of sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch.

The Witch of the West, a family member and former comrade of Skylar, needed an excuse.

Because her sixth sense was screaming and ringing alarm bells. However, it was far too unjustifiable to withdraw from this place for no reason.

Feigning to have fallen for the absurd reason Skylar spoke, she withdrew from the fight.

What she saw in the eye of the bard—clearly below her own level—was—

The moon.