Ch. 35: Existential
Cass woke up gasping like she couldn’t breathe. For a moment her lungs didn’t respond. For a moment, it felt like she had no lungs.
That passed as she inhaled and she felt them inflate. She held the breath and counted to four before slowly releasing it. Hold for four. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Hold.
She repeated the exercise until she was sure her lungs could be trusted to work at their own pace.
Only then did she really notice where she was. Only then did she notice the stars above.
Except they weren’t actually stars. It was a good simulation, but the inky blackness above wasn’t the open sky. Atmospheric Sense was quick to tell her she was still underground. The heavens above were nothing more than a ceiling speckled with tiny glowing crystals.
For being an imitation of the sky (something she found irrationally sacrilegious?) it was beautiful. It helped she hadn’t seen a real starry sky since she’d arrived in this world, just growing, grey storm clouds.
Had those burst yet? Would she know down here? Did the caves flood?
She shook the worries away. None of that was immediately important right now.
Rather, the question should be, where was she?
She vaguely remembered walking through dark caverns, deeper and deeper, skulking around beasts and monsters far greater than her own level. But those memories had the fuzz of a dream, flickering in and out of focus. Not real or true.
More prominently, she remembered sitting at a campfire, alone but safe.
Right, she’d let the demon possess her. A questionable gamble, but which appeared to have paid off?
She had been horribly injured before, yet now she felt like she’d never been hurt before. Her leg had been mangled but now the only evidence a rat had nearly chewed it off was the torn pant leg and the dried blood around the new ‘cuff’.
She sat on a bed of soft moss. It was easily the softest thing she’d encountered since ending up in this messed-up world. It was at the top of a hill in the center of the enormous open cavern. Large glowing mushrooms dotted the landscape, breaking up the fields of soft moss. A pool of water filled the left side of the cavern, lined with iridescent white stone. They shimmered in the low light. Something glowed from the bottom of the pool.
She felt strangely at peace here. At peace in a way she hadn’t since arriving. It was the same sensation she got when she curled up in her comfy chair in the living room, the lights low, her reading lamp on, a Sherpa blanket draped over her shoulders and pooling into her lap, a cup of hot tea on one side, a book in her hands, the sound of rain lightly tapping against the roof above.
She closed her eyes luxuriating in the feeling. It resonated with something in her heart. Warmth expanded around her, only deepening the feeling.
For the first time since she arrived, she didn’t think she was going to die. She’d forgotten what this felt like.
You seem healed? The demon’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. Immediately, the feeling was gone.
“You’re still here.”
I’m bound to you.
“Like a fungus,” she muttered. Still, she was alive. That counted for something. If he wanted her dead or could make her dead, she probably would be. That earned him a little goodwill. Louder she said, “So where are we?”
The Deep’s Safe Zone.
“That was a lot of proper nouns,” she observed. “Felt very series of capital letters to me. You know?”
I do not.
She rolled her eyes. “Explain what a Safe Zone is. I can guess, but I’m tired of guessing. If you’re going to stick around, you get to answer my questions.”
You don’t know? There was genuine surprise in his tone.
Cass resisted rolling her eyes again. She could tell this was going to be a long partnership. “Our conversations are going to go a lot faster if you just assume I don’t know anything.”
She hated admitting that, but it was true. Her pride was just going to have to deal with it.
The simplest answer is that monsters cannot enter Safe Zones. Combat is generally not allowed. Most offensive skills cannot be activated.
Cass frowned. She had a couple problems with that answer. To begin with, “Why can’t monsters enter?”
They can’t. The System does not allow it.
“But how, exactly? Like force fields? Spontaneous combustion? Holy light?”
No. Nothing like that. He was looking at her weird. He didn’t have his own body to look at her with, but she could feel the judgment. It simply compels them not to enter.
“Compels? Like mind control? It can do that?” Perhaps she shouldn’t be surprised. If it could shove information in her head, was there a reason to think it couldn’t force things to act the way it wanted? How much influence did it have? Could it control her? Would she even notice?
It can compel anything unnamed to follow its needs.
“Only unnamed things?” Cass asked slowly. That was a strange distinction. If it was true.
A name implies agency. Individualism. Things without names are not agents acting for themselves. They belong to something else. If there does not seem to be anything, then it is the System directly.
That answer bothered Cass for entirely different reasons. “Then you, without a name…”
I belong to you. The words were ground out and grudging. Cass didn’t like that any more.
“But if you had your own name, then I wouldn’t own you?”
If you gave me a name that would only solidify your position above me. You could revoke it at your leisure.
“Nope, I don’t like that.” Cass pursed her lips. “What if you just named yourself? You’re a clever guy. You could definitely think of something you’d like to be called.”
Not how that works.
“Sounds like you’re giving up too early, but fine. Things without names the System can push around like game pieces, so it keeps them out of these Safe Zones. But you also said combat isn’t allowed? How is that enforced? To be consistent about the names business it shouldn’t be more mind control.”
Most offensive skills do not work in Safe Zones. Weapon masteries don’t function.
“That wouldn’t stop someone who actually knows how to use their weapon from fighting with them though.”
There are very few who intentionally train without their Weapon Mastery skills.
“All the more reason an assassin, specializing in personal excellence with their weapon instead of Skill-based mastery, attacking in a Safe Zone is a good idea,” Cass said with a shrug.
There is also no experience gained to skills or personal levels for kills made in the Safe Zone.
“Hardly a deterrent for good old fashioned murder or assassination, though is it? Also doesn’t exactly disincentivize the non-murdery kinds of violence.”
It isn’t done. There was finality in his tone.
Cass let it go for now. It wasn’t like there were other people around who could attack her. Either there was System mind control affecting her or there wasn’t and either way, she couldn’t do anything about it right now. Or maybe that was the System mind control talking.
“You said that was the simplest answer,” she said, returning to her original question. “What’s the more complicated answer about Safe Zones?”
They have a few more functions. Activating a higher tier of regeneration is the most obvious.
“What are tiers of regeneration?” Cass asked. She had an inkling, but it would be nice to have it spelled out.
Depending on the situation, health, stamina, and focus regeneration are different. As a rule, the calmer and safer the situation the higher the regeneration is. It is classified on two axes: Action and Location. For example, no matter where you are, your regeneration will be slower if you are in the middle of combat as compared to if you are casually walking somewhere. That in turn will be lower than if you are sitting quietly, resting.
Understanding dawned on Cass. That was why her Focus had started dropping mid-fight with the rats. Her regeneration had been enough to handle Soul Guard’s cost out of combat but not enough during combat.
As for Location, places you or the system consider safe will afford higher regeneration. On average wilderness is rated the lowest, followed negligibly by urban spaces. Some people find this difference greater than others and for a few that is reversed. In general, they are grouped into a single tier as the difference for most people isn’t worth mentioning. Collectively it is usually called either Standard rate or Wilds rate.
Above that is Camps. More so if they are fortified or guarded. Again, this is not limited to wilderness camping, but might also include a home that you consider safe, or perhaps a singular room in a building that is distinguished as ‘yours’.
And finally, Safe Zones have the highest bonus to regeneration, usually doubling camp regeneration speeds.
“Which is why you brought me here; I was dying and this would heal me the fastest.”
Yes, exactly. He paused. Hesitantly, he added, Though your recovery was far faster than I expected.
Cass shrugged. “Well between Demonic Vitality and Beacon of Home and Hearth, it makes sense that I’d heal fast.”
By my estimations, you had dropped to single-digit health. That is not a state one casually comes back from in a matter of days.
Cass frowned and brought up her resources.
Stamina: 45/45
Focus: 216/216
Health: 38/38
“Well, I’m at full health now.”
She could feel his shock, but he reigned that back. You were out for a little over two days! I had expected you to be out of critical condition, not fully healed. Do you feel any weakness?
Cass shook her head. She’d been asleep for two whole days? That couldn’t be right. “I should be starving.”
Confusion bubbled up through their connection. Why? It was only two days.
“Only? Back home I’d be light-headed if I missed lunch!” But, then again, how long had she been surviving off of a couple of vineroot potatoes a day? They weren’t exactly the best meals, and she definitely hadn’t been eating lunch. With all the hiking and fighting, she should have needed even more food, not less.
You are slyphid, aren’t you?
“What does that have to do with anything?”
Slyphids are Spirit-bodied. You are likely gathering most of the energy you need from the storm above. Mundane food could replace that in a pinch, but your body will always get most of its energy from the air around you.
This was a good thing. Cass knew that. Cass told herself that. This was a good thing.
Yet, her breathing was coming faster.
This was a good thing. She wasn’t going to die of starvation. She wasn’t going to have to eat the bitter potatoes.
This was a good thing.
Are you alright?
“What about water?”
In particularly humid climates you could probably do without. In most places, you will need nearly the same amount as most physical-bodied races.
“And vitamins and minerals? Don’t I need to eat to get those?”
Why would you? That sort of thing is a concern for physical-bodies. Your body is made up of condensed mana. It is more a suggestion based on your understanding of self than a truly physical construct.
This shouldn’t surprise her. She had already known that this wasn’t her real body.
Cass’s real body needed glasses. Cass’s real body tripped over flat surfaces. Cass’s real body was winded walking up a mild hill.
The real Cass couldn’t summon fire in her hands. The real Cass couldn’t phase into the wind. The real Cass didn’t know the first thing about staff fighting.
The thing she was right now wasn’t real. She knew that. This shouldn’t surprise her. This was simply more confirmation of a fact she had been desperately trying to ignore.
He was talking. Saying something. Words flowed over her. Maybe he was trying to comfort her. Maybe he was just confused. She couldn’t hear him.
Her thoughts were turning down the same pathways, over and over again. She wasn’t real. She was a construct created by the System and dropped into a Cass-shaped mold. Was she even the same soul? What did that even mean?
This wasn’t her body. These weren’t her skills. The System could compel actions of its subjects, so were these even her thoughts? Was she an entirely different entity just compelled to think she was Cass? Did Cass even exist? How could she know? How could she know?
Hey!
Cass took a deep breath and with supernatural effort shoved the spiraling thoughts down. She had a feeling it was only possible because of her enhanced mental stats. That was a thought that almost sent her spiraling again.
“I’m okay,” she choked out.
What was that? He asked.
“It's fine. I’m…” she was going to say ‘fine’ but that was too blatant of a lie.
“In control,” she said finally. Also not true, but close enough for the moment.
Like hell you are, I felt that all the way over here in the necklace. What was that?
She considered lying. But what the hell, he wasn’t going anywhere. It wasn’t a secret.
“I’m not a slyphid.”
She let him puzzle over that as she flopped back into the moss.
Not a slyphid? He repeated.
“Not a slyphid.”
But you are a slyphid.
She clicked her tongue at that. “An accident.”
How does one ‘accidentally’ become a slyphid? You can’t just change Race. Not really. There are illusions. Even some temporary shape-changing magics. But that doesn’t change your growth. Only the System can do something like that.
“Well, it was the System’s fault as far as I can tell.”
What does that mean?
She didn’t want to talk about it. Not the void space. Not the tentacle portal. None of it.
“It means I’m human and everything scares me,” she said instead. That was easier to admit than talking about the specifics of what scared her. It was even true.
You are a human with a slyphid body? He said slowly, for clarity.
“That’s probably completely ridiculous.”
It is, he said slowly, a spark of something warm and comfortable floating across the connection between them. But, it explains a few things.
“Yeah?”
Like why you do not look like a slyphid for one. Or why your soul’s instinctual form was a flame and not an Aether spark. Or why you don’t know the first thing about having a Spirit-body.
“I don’t look like a slyphid?” Cass whispered the words. They were sweet on her tongue. They meant nothing, but also everything. “What do they usually look like?”
Smaller. At least a head shorter than you. Lighter and longer build too. All legs and neck. Their skin tends to tint blue or pink. Their hair is usually a darker or deeper shade of one of the two as well.
“So basically nothing like me?” Cass almost laughed.
A Spirit-body reflects the soul inside it. You look human.