NOVEL NEXT Ch. 20: Camp
The sun was the barest sliver over the far treeline when Cass was forced to give up. There was nothing left. Her body was ragged, her mind raw.
More importantly, there was none left to save amid the flames.
Cass staggered back out to the camp, the sky darkening to the blue-black of night.
She hadn’t saved them all. She knew there had been far more than she’d pulled from the flames. But she hadn’t been fast enough. There was no way for her to be fast enough.
Maybe if she’d figured out how to apply Liminal to Dodge sooner. Maybe if she’d figured out how to apply Hearth to her Depth Column sooner. Maybe if she’d prioritized those trapped in the burning buildings and left the rescue from the apes to Alyx.
The child was still waiting for her at the entrance of the camp.
Her eyes were just as wide as before. Just as scared. Just as desperately hopeful.
Cass shook her head when she saw her. She hadn’t found the girl’s mother. Perhaps it had been too late even when she’d first found the girl. Perhaps it was nothing but a fool’s errand from the beginning.
Cass hurried past the girl as quickly as she was able.
Others loitered around the tents, some before low campfires, others squatting along the road. They wore tired faces, all of them. Grim. They’d lost almost everything. Everything but their lives.
Cass dropped to the ground beside one of those fires, uncaring of the dirt and smoke that clung to her body. The fire danced before her eyes, an entirely different creature than the flames still burning in the town behind her, yet still missing something she’d come to expect of a campfire’s warmth.
Oh, her skill. Beacon of Hearth and Home wasn’t fully active since she hadn’t helped set up the camp.
She should go see how she could help and activate the skill for everyone.
Telis would know what she could do.
Where was she?
She pushed herself back up with her staff, her vision blurring from the sudden movement.
Cass put a hand to her head, steadying herself with the staff. She was okay. She could still help.
Telis would be with Alyx, probably. Telis was always with Alyx.
Where was Alyx?
Salos too, now that she thought about it? When had she seen him last? When she’d dropped him before running into a burning building? When he’d tried to get her to stop?
Her head hurt. She didn’t really want to think.
Her connection to him said he was in the main tent. Perhaps he was with Alyx. Maybe they were all together.
Cass staggered back to her feet, leaning heavily on her staff. With effort, she pushed herself toward the tent.
Inside was far worse. Cots lay in long rows along either wall of the tent, each filled with moaning injured. People hurt defending themselves and others from the monsters. People pulled from the burning buildings.
The ones who’d survived.
Amid the cots, the less injured hurried from bed to bed, changing bandages and applying poultices. Nurses conscripted from those who’d survived a little better.
Salos? Cass called. She could feel him nearby but didn’t see him or Telis.
Here, Salos called, the briefest flash of fairy fire lighting him and the butler up in bright purple.
Telis stood by the back wall of the tent beside a table laden with supplies and papers, Alyx beside her. Salos sat on Alyx’s shoulders.
Cass hurried over.
“You’re back,” Alyx said.
“Is there anything else I can help with?” Cass asked.
Salos sighed on Alyx’s shoulder.
“You look like you’re going to fall over,” Alyx said, her eyes hard.
“I’m okay,” Cass attempted to assure her, but her voice sounded weak even to her ears.
Salos hopped onto Cass’s shoulder. You should sit down.
I’m okay, Cass repeated. Her Hearth was still burning. Low, but burning.
“What can you even do in that state?” Alyx prodded Cass hard.
Cass teetered in place but kept her feet. “I’m okay.”
“Well, so are we.” Alyx waved Cass away. “So go sit down before I make you.”
Cass shook her head. “I can still help.”
“It is unneeded.”
“But—“
“I swear by the Nine, I will knock you out, Cass.”
“But—”
Alyx swung her arm over Cass’s shoulder and marched the two of them out of the tent. Over her shoulder, she called to Telis, “Let me know if something comes up.”
“Of course, my lady,” Telis called after them.
“Come on, Alyx.” Cass struggled to free herself, but Alyx’s arm was like a vice around her. “I’m okay. And if you just give me something to help with around camp, my camp buff can help heal everyone more.”
“All the more reason not to let you help now,” Salos said at a volume only Cass and Alyx could hear. “Do you want to shout your skills to the world?”
“But—”
“Cass, I don’t even care about that part.” Alyx shoved Cass into a seat beside a fire. “What’s wrong with you?”
“What?” Cass stared blankly up at the swordswoman. Alyx had her hands on her hips, glaring down at Cass, a campfire burning low behind her.
“Why did you run off on your own?” Alyx asked.
“What?” Cass repeated.
“In the fight?”
“Oh.” Was that a problem? She’d just done what she’d always done.
“Do you know how stupid that was?”
From Alyx’s tone, the answer was ‘very’. But what else was she supposed to do? Besides, “I wasn’t alone alone. Salos was with me.”
“What about when you sent him back alone with one of the villagers?”
“The little girl?” Cass asked. “I wasn’t going to send a child back by herself.”
“Then you should have gone together, not jumped into a brawl eight versus one,” Alyx yelled.
“I was fine!” Cass yelled back.
“Why did you even get involved? This wasn’t your responsibility. You should have stayed with Telis. You could have easily helped deal with the aftermath that way.”
“But people were in danger.”
“Strangers.”
“You and Marco did it.”
“I’m nobility!” Alyx pounded her chest plate. “Marco is my guard. This happened because my aunt failed to cull the monster population back. By dealing with this myself for her without her asking, I can improve my standing by damaging hers.
“I had every reason to help this town.”
“That was why you helped?” Cass’s question slipped out in a whisper.
“Why would anyone fight monsters for no reason?”
Words bubbled in Cass’s chest. Accusations and cruel rhetorical questions. But a cold, logical voice held them back.
It asked the same question. Why should she fight monsters? Why should she risk her life? What did she get out of it?
It was the same voice that had whispered to leave Alyx behind all those days ago in the Deep. It dripped in fear. Not panicked, irrational fear. Not the fear of the dark or spiders on the bedroom wall. Not the fear of monsters in the closet. Or of serial killers in the woods.
It was drenched in real, rational fear. Fear of the bartiang’s gnashing teeth. Their slashing claws. Their grabbing hands. Of the flames burning her alive. Of a burning building collapsing on her.
What was an altruistic ideal in front of such fear? Could she say to Alyx’s face that such reasonable fears should be ignored?
But all the same, “They didn’t ask to be attacked by monsters, did they?” Cass looked up into Alyx’s eyes. “They didn’t want their lives overturned like this, did they?”
“But did you ask to be their savior?” Alyx shot back. “No one is asking you to.”
Cass looked away. “I had the power to do something. Is it wrong to try?”
Alyx sighed. “And you ran off on your own because you could, too?”
“I, um, didn’t realize I shouldn’t,” Cass muttered.
Alyx sighed loudly and performatively. “Of course you didn’t.” Her eyes shot to Salos on Cass’s shoulder. “And I suppose you didn’t either?”
He also looked away. “I may be more accustomed to solo operations. It may not have occurred to me that—“
“It didn’t occur to you that your MAGE should remain in the back line when there is a perfectly good martial front you can use?”
“To our credit,” Salos coughed. “Cass has primarily operated as a spellsword, not a caster.”
Alyx pointed at Cass. “Don’t run off on your own if you’re part of a team.” She pointed at Salos. “Don’t let her get herself killed.”
He snorted. “You see what I am working with.”
Alyx didn’t comment, moving on to the next topic instead. “We’ll be staying the night to keep an eye on the villagers here. Hopefully, the fires will be out by morning, or at least low enough that we can do something about them. I am going to go organize the capable survivors into a night watch. If you would like to be included, sit quietly and recover as much of your Focus as you are able.
“Do that and I’ll let you join me for my shift later. Understood?”
Cass nodded. But, “I should still help with the camp somehow.”
“Nope,” Alyx said. “You are going to sit where you are and reflect on all the ways you could have gotten yourself killed this afternoon. And if your Focus and Stamina recover to full before our shift, you can talk to Telis about something small you can help with. Understood?”
“But—”
“Understood?” Alyx repeated.
Cass nodded.
“Good. Now rest, I’ll be back and if you aren’t here, I will knock you out.”
And with that, Cass was left in front of the campfire.
“I am not pleased with you either, you know,” Salos muttered from her lap.
“I know,” Cass said. He didn’t have to say it. She could feel the frustration bubbling against her. It had been building for a while. A long while.
“I understand fighting the monsters,” he said. “Fighting is how you get experience. It is how you get levels, which is how you become powerful. Power is the only way to protect yourself.
“But what was the benefit in throwing yourself into burning buildings repeatedly?”
Cass grit her teeth. Why was basic human decency such a foreign concept to them? “You wanted to let those people die in the fire?”
“No, obviously I hardly wish death on strangers, but why would I want to trade your life for any number of theirs?”
“I didn’t.” She was alive. As were countless villagers who would have died if not for her actions.
“That is nothing more than the wisdom of hindsight. You did not know you would survive. There was a long minute there I was afraid you would not.”
“I couldn’t leave them, Salos.” How did she explain the faces watching her? The certainty that there was more that she could do? The need to be more? To prove she was still…
Still what?
Human?
Cass?
Good?
She knew there were arguments she could make that Salos would understand. She could tell him how she’d applied a concept to a new skill. She could share this list of skill level-ups with him:
Atmospheric Sense has increased to level 15.
Dodge has increased to level 12.
Dodge has increased to level 13.
Dodge has increased to level 14.
Stormstride Sprint has increased to level 10.
Elemental Manipulation has increased to level 15.
She could tell him she’d applied Hearth to her Depth Column. These were tangible gains for which he might agree risking her life was worth.
But these weren’t the reasons she’d done it. She didn’t care about any of it. She wanted him to approve of it because she’d saved lives. Because she’d made a difference.
He sighed, his anger cooling to cold resignation. “Please, just do not get yourself killed for someone else. Don’t even let yourself get hurt for someone else. Please.”
They both knew that was too much for her.