Ch. 11: Break Down
Cass didn’t quite run out of the temple, though with her stats and the Concept of Wind on Dexterity making her movement faster, it was easy to mistake her panicked speed walking for a full out sprint.
She leaned against the wall outside, her head spinning. It probably didn’t matter that she had held herself together in front of the god. They were probably still watching her. Hell, they had been watching her. The entire time. Since she got here.
Because her struggles were amusing?
Was her panic that funny?
A shiver ran across her skin. She held herself and slid down the wall into a dejected seat.
Around her, this world ticked on. People came in and out of the temple, heads bowed in supplication. The wind blew through the trees, their needles whispering as the airs rustled them. Their shade cast jagged shadows over her face, protecting her from the strange sun above.
It was just a little bigger than the sun she was used to. Just a little brighter. Just a little redder. Not enough to notice at a glance. Not enough to change anything.
Just enough to remind her this wasn’t Earth.
This wasn’t just a foreign country.
To her right, she could hear the bustle of the docks, now in the full swing of day. To her left, she could hear the shouts of the market.
All around her, people continued on with their lives. Unconcerned that the gods could do what they wanted at any moment. Unconcerned that death lurked just around the corner, that they were at the mercy of anyone with more strength than they possessed.
Cass squinted up at the sun. Was Kaye or Robin under this sun somewhere?
Were they looking for her now? Or were they as lost as she was, just hoping to survive to tomorrow?
Would they survive until she could find them? Would she?
It was cold. Cold in a way that had nothing to do with the temperature of the air. Cold that the sun beating down on her could do nothing about. She held her knees tighter to her chest, burying her face in them.
Salos materialized from the shadows next to her. She could feel his confusion without looking up.
She hated it.
This wasn’t normal. She wasn’t normal. None of this was normal.
His concern rushed over her, overpowering her like a wave. It was warm, but overwhelming. Suffocating.
What happened? he asked, his voice ringing in her ears even though they hadn’t been spoken aloud. Ringing in her head like her own thoughts. You disappeared for a second there. And you are—oh. Are you okay?
Cass’s hands clenched tighter. Her fingernails dug into her palms. It hurt, but that was a sensation she understood. This much, she understood.
“Cass, talk to me,” he whispered in that clicking, squeaking language of the depths. It wasn’t English, yet she knew it in her soul. Because he wanted her to know it.
She needed to breathe. She was worrying Salos. She needed to calm down. She needed to stop the drip of tears from her eyes.
Nothing had happened. Nothing had changed.
Yeah, she’d nearly killed a man. Yeah, she’d watched two people killed on her behalf. Yeah, she’d been in an alley of blood and not a single person beside her so much as batted an eye.
This was just how this world worked. Life was cheap. She knew that. This wasn’t new information. Crying about it was really entirely useless.
And yeah, she’d possessed(?) Salos. Just ran around shotgun in his head. Should that have been possible? Who knew? Not her. Not Salos.
Evidence seemed to suggest it was. Who were they to argue with direct evidence? And really, what was the big deal? Sure, she hadn’t been able to move. She hadn’t done it intentionally. She’d felt trapped.
But Salos was stuck like that all the time. He’d been that way for like a week without complaint. Who was she to fall apart over it after less than ten minutes?
And yeah, she’d just run into a god. A literal god. Those were real, apparently. And not in a, it’s-real-because-you-believe-kind of way, but in a I-can-kidnap-you-and-the-entire-room-you’re-standing-in-whenever-I-feel-like-it kind of way. In a I-kidnapped-you-and-didn’t-think-you-might-hold-a-grudge-over-it-because-your-petty-mortal-opinions-are-unimportant-to-me kind of way. In a I-make-casual-bets-on-your-life-and-death kind of way.
Cass shuddered. Where was she going with this?
Oh, right. It wasn’t a big deal. Obviously. For reasons. Definitely.
Hell, Salos was still staring at her. She could feel his eyes on her. His paw on her leg, pushing to be let up into her lap. Pushing to let him in.
She needed to say something. Anything to prove she was fine.
And she was fine. Her status even said so. Full health. Full focus. Full stamina. She was fine.
She was in control.
She wasn’t breaking down on the spot.
She forced her knees down, pushing herself to look Salos in the eyes. Her eyes, glowing blue, met his gold. Her breath caught in her throat at the thought.
She forced herself to keep breathing.
“I—” Lying to him was pointless. Better to just get to the point. “I just met a god.”
Salos flinched. “What?”
“The God of Perception.” The expressionless woman’s face flashed behind Cass’s eyes. The feel of their silver eyes on her slithered over her skin, stealing the warmth again.
Salos’s ears flattened back. “What did he want?”
“They asked me to be their champion.”
Salos inhaled sharply.
“I refused, if that makes a difference,” Cass added.
He shook his head. “It likely won’t. If the gods are picking champions, the realm is about to get a lot more dangerous.”
Cass bit her lip, ignoring the constriction in her chest threatening to squeeze her heart into a pulp.
It didn’t matter. She’d been fighting death since she arrived. Why would that change? Why would she imagine something different?
“How much trouble is refusing a god going to cause me?” Cass asked.
“Depends on a lot of things,” Salos said. “If they are as patient and passive as they appear in the stories, then you are probably fine.”
Cass frowned. Nothing was patient about the rapid words of the god she’d met. Very little passive about those eyes burning from behind their mask.
She pushed those worries aside. What did she know of the gods? Literally nothing. Salos would know better.
“There is one more thing they told me,” Cass said. “They mentioned that someone else was summoned with me. Potentially from the exact same place.” The words caught in her throat. She didn’t want to voice it. She’d been thinking it just fine, but to speak it into the world felt like she was confirming it. Making it true.
But she needed to tell him. If it was true, it changed everything. “One—one of my siblings might be here. Somewhere. Another god’s champion.”
Her words hung between them. Her worry rolled off her. She could feel it drowning him as much as her. How could he stand to be so close to her while she was like this?
He looked away from her, curling into a croissant in her lap. “If they’re here, we will find them, Cass. And we will get you both home.”
There were waves of unspoken worries there, but she stroked his fur anyway, taking it one breath at a time.
That was all she could do. All either of them could do.