Stealing the Heavens

Fatty Yi Yan was crying like someone important to him had just died, turning the Mayor mansion into turmoil. All the guards who were on duty last night were now lined up in front of the main hall of the Mayor’s Mansion with their pants taken off, receiving their caning punishment. Under the crazy roar of Yi Yan, these guards were screaming in pain, their pale white asses transforming into some colorful abstract drawing.

After every few roars, the fatty Yi Yan would howl like the end of the world was there. His voice was like the night owl who was spitting blood. Even Wu Qi started to feel sorry for him.

“Awww, my…my money… my money!”

“Awww aww.. all the hard squeezed money from the past three years, my money!”

“Awww, I’ve risked my life to stay here in Little Meng City, working day and night to squeeze out money from people here… My money!”

“Aww, without money, how am I going to feed all of my hundred and thirty women? I had so many women, so many hanger-ons, so many guards! How am I going to feed them, how! My money, my…my money!”

“Aww, without money, what am I going to use to bribe others? How can I be promoted to a higher rank, and how can I leave this damn place!”

A huge meatball, with only a tiny little piece of cloth covering his crotch, was sitting at the entrance to the main hall of the Mayor’s Mansion. The meatball was crying and wailing like anything, screaming like there was no tomorrow. His ‘muscles’ were wobbling like a tsunami, hitting each other and making crystal clear slapping sounds, a ‘truly magnificent‘ view.

Yi Xing and the other two siblings of Yi Yan were standing aside and looking at him, trying to figure out how to help. Yi Yan’s incredible losses had made their blood creep, and they sighed and groaned. This was extremely mean, except for the bed made entirely from a huge gold cube, all of Yi Yan’s belongings were gone, even all the silk clothes were stolen.

Three of them looked at each other and decided at the same time they would double the guards on duty tonight.

Wu Qi, who was ‘seriously wounded’, followed behind Lu Chengfeng, came and shed his crocodile tears over Yi Yan’s great losses.

Yi Yan was at the weakest moment in his life. He didn’t care who it was that came and showed their condolences, he simply hugged Lu Chengfeng and cried his lungs out, smearing his tears and mucus all over Lu Chengfeng’s clothes.

“General Lu, my money!!! You’re the General for Little Meng City, you have to help me catch this bloody ba*tard who stole everything from me! Wuwu, all the hard earned money from the past three years, I didn’t even let a single coin slip from my hand, and this was all I had… I was going to use the money to bribe myself to a higher post! Wuwu, you think it is easy for a son from a wealthy family to earn money and get a good position in the government? You really think that simple?”

“The bloody ba*tards… you must help me catch these thieves, General Lu. Kill every single one of them. Rip everything from them!”

With a bitter smile, Lu Chengfeng agreed to Yi Yan’s requests and finally was able to struggle and pull himself out of the fatty’s hug. He then pulled his sleeves and turned around and left, breathing rapidly.

Wu Qi was running behind Lu Chengfeng when he heard Lu Chengfeng curses under his breath, “Bullshit, bullshit! What does catching a thief have to do with me? This is the responsibility of the Officer of Security, what does this have to do with me?”

After running across few courtyards, Lu Chengfeng suddenly stopped and turned to Wu Qi. He then asked, “Don’t tell me you’re the one who did that?”

Wu Qi stared back Lu Chengfeng with a surprised expression. He pointed at his shoulder, which was bundled like a ball, and asked, “Do you think, with this arm, I could achieve such a task?”

Lu Chengfeng threw an examining look at Wu Qi, then shook his head hesitantly.

“Yes, you’re wounded. But, I still think it was you who did this… Hmm, whatever… not me who got robbed!”

Lu Chengfeng flung his sleeves out, then strolled back to his own General Residency. At the General Residency, he asked Laohei and Xiaohei to help him change from his wet and mucus-filled robe. Today, he needed to report to the General’s Office and officially take over the position of General. According to the plan, the Mayor himself needed to accompany Lu Chengfeng personally on the first day of his work. But looking at the state Yi Yan was in, the plan would need to be changed.

Wu Qi staring at Lu Chengfeng, who was strolling into his bedroom. His lips twisted and he murmured, “Don’t tell me this guy’s zodiac is a dog?”

Fifteen minutes later, Lu Chengfeng had changed into a black-colored uniform, an iron token and a long sword hanging at his side, with a foot-tall cap on his head. Xiaohei, with a ferocious face, wore a set of heavy fish-scaled armor and was carrying a ten-foot long iron halberd. He followed closely behind Lu Chengfeng.

With both of his hands behind his back, Lu Chengfeng stood at the front door of General Residency, stared into the gray sky and self-mockingly said, “In the 2000 years’ history of the Great Yan Dynasty and 300 years since the Lu Kingdom was established, I am afraid I’m the shabbiest General to ever exist. With just a bodyguard and a right-hand man… Ha, this is all I got for the job!”

Wu Qi recalled those two hundred guards who were either killed or chased back to their family and shook his head.

With a lonely expression, Lu Chengfeng sighed and shrugged. But soon, he breathed deeply again, and as if a dried weed was showered in spring water, he strengthened his spirit.

Punching his fist into the air, Lu Chengfeng let out a loud laugh and said, “But, I still have a right-hand man and a bodyguard, not bad… I am not at the end of the road yet! Two of you, let me tell you this, today, I’ll have my journey begin as this little General of Little Meng City. One day, I, Lu Chengfeng, will have my own kingdom!”

With a gaze full of respect, Xiaohei stared at Lu Chengfeng, but Wu Qi was yawning and scratching his right shoulder, which he felt pretty itchy.

After roaring towards the sky, Lu Chengfeng brought these two men past a foot-thick wall, crossed a hundred meters long pathway, and arrived at a big courtyard. The courtyard was several hundred feet wide, and was surrounded by a few offices. This was the working place of the General, the Officer of Records, the Officer of Internal Affairs, and the Officer of Security, along with a few others important subordinate officers.

To the south of this square, a ten-foot-wide door led to a street outside the Mayor’s Mansion. Some businessmen and civilians were walking through it and went to different offices for their business. The place where the most people were gathered was the court of Internal Affairs office.

Wu Qi walked closer to it and glimpsed at what was happening. It looked like the court was hearing a case of a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who didn’t get along with each other; both the women were cursing each other in the court. There were more than three hundred civilians who were watching the fight excitedly.

However, due to the fact that the Mayor, Yi Yan, had all his belongings stolen today, the Officer of Internal Affairs, Yi De, was staying with Yi Yan right now and trying to comfort him. Therefore, he was not here to judge this civil matter. Since their superior was not around, a few officers of Internal Affairs office were just sitting in the court, happily provoking these two women and trying to stir the matter into something even more complicated, and making the court become a messy place.

Wu Qi shook his head. Looking at how these officers behaved, he already understood what Yi Yan and his siblings had turned Little Meng City into. A fish would begin to stink at the head. Similarly, these officers of Little Meng City had become as*holes just like their superiors.

The General was responsible for all the military activities of Little Meng City. He was also responsible for the gathering and distribution of military resources. Therefore, he was the most important among all the officers. That was also the reason why the office of General was located at the north side of this square. In front of the office were three tall flag poles, with four smaller offices located side by side.

Two smaller offices were located on both the sides of the main hall of the General’s office. The Bursary Office was responsible for managing all the resources of General’s office, and the War Room managed the army and warfare. The Recruitment Office was responsible for new recruits, and the Barbarian Office handled all the matters directly related to the barbarians.

When Wu Qi came to the front of the main hall of the General office, he saw over thirty push carts were lying in front of the Barbarian office. Each cart was full of barbarian’s heads. A few uniformed officers were counting the heads while holding their noses with one of their hands. A notice was seen stuck on a billboard erected in front of the Barbarian Office. It was the notice announced by the Mayor Mansion, declaring the reward of a barbarian’s head increasing to one hundred ordinary coins.

Wu Qi recognized that these were the push carts of the villagers from Meng village. However, the villagers were not beside these push carts, and instead were gathered in front of the Bursary Office, shouting and complaining. Wu Qi also heard Zhang Hu’s voice. It looked like he was quarreling with someone as well.

It was nightfall when they arrived at the city, and the office was closed at that hour. Therefore, the villagers could only come here early in the morning to redeem their reward for these barbarians’ head. But why was Zhang Hu quarreling with someone in the Bursary Office?

After taking his leave from Lu Chengfeng, Wu Qi hurried into the Bursary Office, pushing away the villagers from Meng village and walking straight in.

The men from Meng Village were not some educated civilians. When Wu Qi started pushing them aside, he almost got himself beaten by them. Luckily, they saw it was Wu Qi who was pushing them, so they smiled and let him through.

The Bursary Office was dark, and had a black table placed on top of a three foot high stone slab. A skinny adult man, with a pair of triangle-shaped eyes and a loose brow, was sitting at the table, rolling his eyes. When Wu Qi came into the room, the man, who portrayed a cunning and crafty look, was scolding Zhang Wu with a loud voice.

“With just my eyes, which are as good as an eagle’s, I can easily tell this Green Flame Skeleton is lousy stuff. You should feel glad that I am willing to pay you ten silver coins for it! But, you keep insisting that this is a low-tier magical item and are trying to force me to buy this piece of crap with one hundred gold coins. Are you trying to blackmail the City Guards?”

Hearing this ridiculous accusation, Zhang Hu became so mad that his face turned red. He kept quiet and just glared at this man with a fierce expression.

Inside the Bursary Office, besides the few barbarian hunters that followed Zhang Hu here, there was another group of men. It is pretty obvious this group of men didn’t like Zhang Wu. The leader of the group was a strong man wearing black leather armor, and he was laughing and pointing at the Green Flame Skeleton in Zhang Hu’s hand, sneering at him for bringing back a piece of ‘useless crap’ and trying to sell it as if it was some precious treasure. He was also laughing at the fact that he even wasted a valuable ‘Captivity Talisman’ to control the skeleton.

These men were with the adult man in Bursary Office, and they tried their best to downplay the value of this magical item that Zhang Hu had obtained by killing the leader of the barbarians. They kept saying that the Green Flame Skeleton was a piece of crap, and that it was worth, at most, ten silver coins, not deserving the price for a low-tier magical item.

Wu Qi looked over his shoulder and found that Lu Chengfeng had come through the villagers and into the office.

With a smile on his face, Wu Qi walked forward and pulled that skinny man up from his seat and started to slap the man’s face in front of everyone.

While slapping on the man’s face crazily, Wu Qi scolded him with a loud voice, “Eye’s like an eagle’s? I think you have a pair of dog eyes! How dare you try to con your master, Wu Qi’s friend? Your master me had witnessed the power of this skeleton personally, and now you tell me it is not a low-tier magical item?”

After dozens of forceful slaps, all the teeth in the man’s mouth had fallen out.

While the man was screaming and crying horribly, the man who was playing down Zhang Hu roared, drew out his sword and thrust it toward Wu Qi.

At the same time, Zhang Hu let out a loud roar and pulled out his hatchet, swinging it and clashing right into the man’s sword.

A deep clanging sound echoed out, and both men were forced back a few steps due to the impact.