Chapter 22: Chapter 22 - Shifting Mood
I think... I had felt the subtle shift in the Academy's atmosphere almost immediately. It wasn't the kind of change anyone would be able to pinpoint easily—there were no outright confrontations, no accusing stares or sharp words. However, the way the other Padawans responded to my presence during training, meals, and study sessions had altered. And it altered enough that my abilities allowed me to pick up on it, feeling it like a tingle in the back of my head. It showed itself in the little things at first: shorter conversations, fewer invitations to join group exercises, and a general sense of hesitance that lingered like a faint smell of smoke after a fire. In addition, I sometimes sensed as if those I spoke to were using the Force to keep their minds clear. Probably to make sure I wasn't influencing them... Haaah... I guessed it immediately the first time I noticed it and realized the angel of attack coming my way. It was similar to how my brothers used to deal with opposition within the family hierarchy.
Being sensitive to the emotions of those around me, I caught it most when I was sparring with my peers. They were even better at using the Force, and they used it not to read or predict my moves but to shield their own senses before me. The usual, casual exchange of techniques now felt undermined by an unspoken wariness on their part. Others acted more reservedly when helping me out with training; their movements were restrained, and they were afraid to let their guard down while interacting with me, no matter when.
At first, I wanted to chalk it up to everyone settling into their routines after the kyber crystal expedition. It made sense—constructing lightsabers was a monumental milestone, and everyone was likely feeling the importance of their progress now that the initial wonder had subsided. Yet, as the days passed, the feeling only deepened, and when I sensed it appearing in the older Padawans, I couldn't chalk it up to coincidence anymore. And I couldn't do anything about it because if I brought it up to them, that would just make it even more awkward. My first thought was to push through it and let it subside by itself, but no matter how calm I wanted to be, it was still bothering me. I had to realize... that it hurt. It was turning the Academy into something that felt like I was back home again, and I hated the feeling.
"Something's different," I sighed, deciding to talk about it with Vila as we walked towards the training grounds. The early morning sun was just up, casting shadows across the courtyard. Our sabers hung at our belts, ready for another session, something I didn't know if I was in the mood to do... I just didn't want to say no to Vila and ruin her morning.
"What do you mean?" Her lekku twitched, and she frowned, gazing at me, scrutinizing my face. She asked a few days ago if something was bothering me, but because I deflected her question, she didn't press on it. Now that I was the one bringing it up, she was one foot already in my mind, ready to get to the bottom of the issue.
"I don't know…" I hesitated, searching for the right words to put my thoughts into proper sentences. "It's like they're… avoiding me. In some way. Avoiding eye contact. Keeping conversations short. Things like that."
"That? Yeah, I noticed it, too." Vila snorted. "Maybe they're just intimidated by how much better we've gotten. Most of the others are preoccupied with other things, so of course, they couldn't keep up with us even if they tried."
"Because I am the only idiot who is willing to entertain you every morning." I smiled faintly but shook my head, watching her grin. "It's not that. It's… something else. Like they're unsure about us. Or me, at least."
"Hm..." Vila stopped walking, her expression hardening. "Unsure? What's that supposed to mean? We've been training together for a year now! They know us. We've got nothing to prove. Or hide. What, getting their sabers got their brain screwed up?"
"Probably, they just think more about the Force and how it could be used." I shrugged as I raised my hands in a calming gesture. "Don't get angry."
"I-!"
"Sh!" I cut in, still in the middle of trying to prevent her from exploding. "I know. I'm not saying it's fair. But I can feel it. Something's changed."
"Well, if they've got a problem, they can say it to our face," She growled, her hands balling into fists. "I'm not playing guessing games. I don't care if they dislike me, but then say it so instead of slinking and fake-smiling at me."
"I don't think they know what they feel either..." I shrugged, shaking my head, and pulled her along so we could start training, which now sounded right. At least I didn't need to think in a duel. I just emptied out my brain, only focusing on our movements.
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Over the next few days, the shift in the mood of the others became more apparent, this time, even to Vila. During group training sessions, Padawans, who once joked with her, now offered only polite nods. My other sparring partners, looking for my advice a week before, grew less enthusiastic, our duels lacking the same camaraderie we once shared. It was more like if they had already asked me for assistance, it would be weird to suddenly turn my help down. The change wasn't universal, though—Jalo remained as friendly and supportive as ever, and a handful of others seemed oblivious to the tension developing between me and the others—but it was enough to gnaw at Vila's patience until she could take it no longer.
"Did you see the way that Lira girl looked at me today?" Vila muttered during our evening meditation session, interrupting my attempt at it. We sat cross-legged in one of the quieter alcoves, the soft glow of orange lamps illuminating the space around us. "Like I was about to rip someone's head off. She barely said two words to me, and when she did, it was like she was… testing me. Goading me, wanting me to go feral on her! Like some animal! Hmph! I almost did! I just didn't want to give her the satisfaction..."
"I noticed." I shrugged as I opened my eyes, my brow furrowing. "Lira's usually pretty reserved, from what I gathered. Maybe she's just having a bad day."
"She's not the only one," Vila snapped. "Thala brushed me off earlier when I asked if she wanted to train together. I am good enough to challenge older Padawans, but... They keep coming up with excuses! Tsk! And Aren? Don't get me started. He's been dodging me like I've got the plague. The coward!"
"You have too much energy." I sighed with a chuckle, but my smile quickly faded. The anxiety I had been feeling for the past few days was now constant, and it was making me unwell. It was making me unable to sleep, and I was tossing and turning instead. I wasn't feeling good. "I've noticed. It's… frustrating. But getting angry about it won't help. We just have to focus on what we can control."
"What we can control?" Vila's voice rose again, and her saber suddenly clattered on her belt as her Force-powers trembled just as her mood, "Kael, they're treating us, especially you, like we don't belong here! After everything you have done to help them? It's not right! It is unfair!"
"Vila, relax. Keep your cool!" I reached out, placing a hand on her arm. "I know. Believe me, I know. But if we push back too hard, it'll only make things worse. Especially in your case! They want to anger you... Don't give in to them. We have to stay calm. Let them see who we really are, not who they think we might be. Then the others will come to their senses, and all this will blow over."
"I don't like it!" Vila shook her head, her lekku twitching with irritation with every breath. "You're too forgiving. If they don't trust us, that's on them, not us. You should stop helping them then!"
"Maybe. But... I don't want them to think what they think is true."
"They shouldn't think then." She snorted again, "It has been working for me. Just trust the Force, no?"
"Sometimes, our brains must be used!" I joked, flicking her forehead and making her pout, which somewhat eased the anxiety in my heart. But... only until I got back to my room, and I was alone once again. Then it came back in full force...
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The breaking point came during a group exercise designed to test teamwork. Master Katarn had split us into small teams, assigning each group a mock mission to retrieve an artifact from a simulated enemy base. Vila and I were paired with Miren, Thala, and Aren—an arrangement that felt anything but coincidental. But I don't think it was on Master Katarn; instead, I saw Miren and Thala volunteer, and as senior Padawans, of course, their words had more weight.
From the start, the tension was palpable. Miren and Thala exchanged wary glances whenever I suggested a strategy, and Aren's responses were curt and dismissive. Was this their way of testing us? Or was this just a petty move on their part? Whatever it was, Vila's frustration simmered just beneath the surface, her movements sharp and precise as she carried out her tasks, their orders without a word. Until we reached the last hurdle, arriving at the enemy base.
"We need to secure the perimeter before moving in," I said, my tone calm despite the growing tension, forcing myself to ignore the squeezing feeling in my chest. "If we can draw their attention to the west side, Vila and I can slip in through the east and grab the artifact. We could be out before the simulated guardians realize it."
"Sure." Aren crossed his arms, his expression skeptical. "And how do we know you won't just use us as a sacrifice so you collect all the points? You've got a habit of doing things your way and have been suggesting plans since we started... You do think you lead this group, huh? Why aren't you the one distracting them, then? Miren and Thala can sneak in then."
"If you think so..." I blinked, taken aback at the intensity he was saying it. "I've always worked with the team's decision. If you want, we can do it that way." I agreed before Vila would blow a gasket and rain down on him.
"Forget it," Aren muttered, turning to Miren and Thala. "Let's ask the Seniors. As we should have done." He smirked, looking at me with one eye.
"It isn't a bad plan." Thala mused, scratching her chin, "But I don't like the idea of this kind of risky action. For now, we will stick to the original plan. We'll cover both sides equally. No special maneuvers."
"Before we go," Vila stepped forward, her orange saber igniting with a sharp hiss. "You've got something to say, Aren? Because if you have, then say it. Don't hide behind half-baked excuses or these two... Seniors. Otherwise, I will assume you are going to stab us in the back in the middle of the operation."
"Vila," I said quietly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Don't. Not now. Let's win this... Please?"
She hesitated, her breathing heavy as she deactivated her saber, watching Aren's surprised and somewhat fearful look. The silence that followed was deafening, the unspoken tension becoming thicker than ever before. It tasted like... spoiled cough syrup.
Still, we somehow managed to do it; the Senior Padawans were experienced enough to focus on the task at hand and ignore the rest. When the exercise finally concluded, our team's performance was passable but far from cohesive, which Master Katarn quickly brought up to us, giving us pointers without any scolding. That evening, Vila paced the length of our shared study room, her frustration bubbling over, making her growl.
"They're treating us like we're the enemy. Like we've done something wrong just by existing!"
"That is a bit harsh." I looked at her while I sat at one of the desks, my hands clasped in front of me. "It's not everyone. Jalo's still the same. And some of the others… they're just confused. They don't know what to think."
"Confused?" Vila scoffed. "No. They've already made up their minds. They're just waiting for us to slip up so they can say, 'I told you so.' We are alone in this, Kael."
"Not all of them," I repeated firmly. "And even if that's true for some, we can't let it change who we are. If we let their doubts define us, we've already lost. What I noticed is that those who really openly dislike us are all connected to Aren... and Iowi. We can't blame others if they fall for multiple, more experienced, senior Padawans advise them."
"Hmph. Fuck them." Vila stopped pacing with a curse, making me shrug. I watched her, seeing her gaze softening as she looked at me. "You're too soft, Kael. You see the best in people even when they don't deserve it. I'll be your balance then!"
"Maybe," I admitted. "But I'd rather be that way than let anger or bitterness take over. Same for you, Vila! Don't give in too much to anger, okay? We've got enough to deal with without turning on each other."
"Yeah, yeah!" She sighed, sitting down beside me. "Fine. I'll try to keep it together. But if Aren or anyone else crosses the line again, don't expect me to stay quiet. I will punch, kick, bite. Maybe even scratch!"
"Don't go for the eye." I smiled faintly. "But I won't hold you back either."
"Good. Because you wouldn't be able to." She answered by sticking her tongue out, making me sigh. I decided that this was an issue I wouldn't be able to deal with, so I was going to speak with one of the Masters. They will have to step in before something terrible happens... I'm not prideful enough to not ask for help when I clearly need it.