NOVEL NEXT Chapter 49
Page Forty-Eight The Power of a Divine Negotiation Expert
Not to brag, but as the first-person protagonist, I am quite skilled at reading people’s expressions.
After all, someone like me who doesn’t believe in violence (because I can’t beat a goose), and who is cautious by nature (actually cowardly), wouldn’t be fit to be the protagonist without having excellent verbal skills.
Step aside! I’m about to show off! (Thunderous voice)
…That’s what I said, but actually, I don’t know how to show off. But can I try to deceive?
As a charlatan, ahem, as a deity, I have Xiao Lei, my divine messenger, to assist me in deceiving.
“Hey, Thunder Meow-Meow, can I say something?”
This stage name is hard to pronounce. It might not be a problem as a username online, but saying it in real life gives it a particularly cute and silly feel. Even as a username, it would probably just be someone who constantly whines “ahh ahh ahh” online, while the real person would be greasy and gross.
“What, it’s you?”
Thunder Meow-Meow gave me an annoyed look. Her eyes lifted up, as if remembering something, she said, “Come to think of it, reaching this point was all thanks to that punch you got… what luck!”
What kind of nonsense is that? Punching your luck? Could you stop talking about hitting me like stepping on dog poop?
I reached over and grabbed Xiao Lei, who was still munching on chicken with a stunned expression, and earnestly lied to Thunder Meow-Meow, “Actually, you becoming a girl is all thanks to this adult’s divine power.”
The others looked at me with blank faces, not believing me. Xiao Lei, however, hadn’t caught on and exclaimed, “Huh?”
…After all, it’s Zhao Zhao the muscle-headed idiot who turned into her. Sometimes Xiao Lei seems a bit dim, yes, that’s also part of her charm.
She stood there for a moment, then understood my meaning. She clenched her right fist and hit her left palm, looking enlightened.
“Oh! So I really am the divine messenger of the Goddess of Beautiful Girls!”
Thunder Meow-Meow raised an eyebrow and asked with a rough tone, “Ah, the Goddess of Beautiful Girls? What’s that? How could there be such a playful deity?”
She didn’t seem to believe it at all. If I hadn’t personally become the divine apprentice of the Goddess of Beautiful Girls, I wouldn’t have believed it either.
“After you punched me that day, I held a grudge and asked this adult to curse you with divine power! The deity she worships has the ability to turn people into girls… but this adult mixed up the curse and blessing, so instead of turning you into a unlucky girl, you became a lucky beautiful girl.”
Of course, as a deity spreading the gospel, I don’t actually have the power to curse, I just said that to scare him.
“The deity made a mistake! After all, it’s a cowardly and unreliable deity, which is why we need an excellent divine messenger like me to assist.”
Taking a dig at me, huh? Saying you’re so great?
In fact, lying requires a lot of courage. After all, the Notebook is still lying peacefully on my desk. If I were asked to perform a miracle right now and couldn’t do it, Xiao Lei and I would be thrown out as frauds.
“Alright, Little Lingmeng, thank you for lightening the mood. Let me handle this.”
Sister Yuanyue seemed to think I was just here to make jokes…
“Exactly, Lingmeng Little Sister, my older brother isn’t an idiot… unless this divine messenger can perform another miracle and turn me back?”
Tian Qian is quite cunning. According to her logic, if Xiao Lei is truly a divine messenger, she can turn her back into the mohawked fatty. If she can’t, it means the divine messenger is fake, and she won’t lose anything.
“Communicating with the deity requires special rituals and offerings… there’s no way to prove it now.”
Xiao Lei knows I didn’t bring the Beautiful Girl notebook today, so she’s trying to bluff her way through.
After all, I only went out this morning to take Orange on a trip. Bringing the Notebook would have been troublesome, and I never expected these things to happen.
I’m sorry, Notebook大人!
In the future, I will definitely carry you with me!
“Aah!”
Xiǎo Lěi suddenly let out a startled cry, her face turning slightly abnormal red.
“This feeling… Could it be… Huhuhu! Hahaha!” She suddenly covered her forehead and laughed wildly, as if possessed by an evil deity.
Wow, how scary, one moment she was normal, and now she’s going crazy?
Seeing her strange appearance, I took three steps back to avoid any sudden attacks from a mad person.
“Just now, as the divine messenger, I received a transmission from the Goddess of Beautiful Girls…”
Xiǎo Lěi slowly raised her arm, reaching out towards the distance, as if her beloved Juliet was there…
Here it is! Xiǎo Lěi’s awkward performance!
“He forgave your ignorance and rudeness, and even allowed me to show you all, these narrow-minded mortals, a divine miracle!”
Xiǎo Lěi, in her prophet mode, pointed at me with her finger. I leaned in curiously, wanting to hear what kind of nonsense she was selling.
“Chairman, your divine artifact notebook is with me.”
“What?” I tried to control my emotions and asked quietly, “When did you take it?”
“I didn’t take it! It suddenly appeared behind me just now, and now it’s stuck in my hot pants…”
I secretly touched Xiǎo Lěi’s waist, and sure enough, felt something smooth, like pages of a book.
Strange, if he wanted to come, why didn’t he come to me? Who is the real Goddess of Beautiful Girls? Or is it that the hot pants of beautiful girls are so attractive?
“What are you two whispering about? Didn’t you say you were going to show us a divine miracle?” Léi Miāomāo said impatiently, crossing his legs, looking like a delinquent. Hey! Where did that confident idol on stage go?
“The process of communicating with the deity cannot be seen by outsiders, so I need to hide in the bathroom to cast a spell!”
The idea of casting a spell in the bathroom sounded odd.
Xiǎo Lěi left the room, and I instinctively followed her.
“Hold on, does this mean she can follow? Isn’t this supposed to be kept a secret?”
Léi Miāomāo said, and I realized I had no reason to follow her. I’m not a divine messenger, just a friend of one.
Xiǎo Lěi’s voice came from outside, “She isn’t an outsider because she is the sacrifice!”
“Am I the sacrifice?!”
To hide her identity, she pretended to be a sacrifice to the Goddess of Beautiful Girls, given by the divine messenger to the Goddess of Beautiful Girls.
What is this, a tongue twister?
Even though the others in the room still had doubts, they didn’t bother questioning further and wanted to see what this mysterious girl would do next.
…
Inside the women’s restroom stall, Xiǎo Lěi took out the notebook from her hot pants, still warm from her body… After finishing, she blushed and put the notebook back into her hot pants… The air inside the stall was stifling, as if we were doing something inappropriate… Can’t this notebook大人 just go back on its own?
…
There was no response when I knocked on the door, so I and Xiǎo Lěi directly peeked inside, only to find the room dead silent.
“The deity has already performed a miracle… Has anyone experienced any changes?”
Of course, Xiǎo Lěi and I knew what happened, but sometimes it’s necessary to play dumb.
Now, Léi Miāomāo looked at Xiǎo Lěi as if seeing a ghost, his previous confidence completely gone. After all, the anticipated glorious future could vanish due to the “divine messenger” being unhappy.
It’s actually about the mood of the sacrifice!
We didn’t turn her back because we considered that her wish to become an idol might be a thought generated after some internal adjustment. If she turned back into Léi Lǎohǔ, she might think being an idol is foolish.
Tián Qiàn also didn’t change back, which was simply because I didn’t want to see that Mohawk fat guy.
Ultimately, to prove the identity of the divine messenger, all you need to do is turn someone into a girl… I need to pick someone from this room to transform into a girl. Who will be so lucky?
The answer is Léi Là uncle… No,
It was Sister Léiluó!
Looking at this black-haired girl… No, although she is stabilized at 17 years old, her appearance can only be described as a loli!
The black-haired loli, around one meter sixty tall, had a large black skeleton T-shirt hanging loosely on her body, revealing much of her fair neck and collarbone. Her two delicate little white hands tightly held onto the waistband of her pants, otherwise, they would fall down.
“What’s going on! Why do I have to be the test subject for showing divine signs?” The red-faced loli gritted her teeth and said.
“Oh, Old Lei can be so cute!” Because she was originally a woman, Sister Yuǎnyuè seemed excited, pulling the helpless Léiluó into her arms, rubbing her fine hair, completely forgetting that she was negotiating with a runaway “daughter,” “Little Divine Messenger, in my opinion, you don’t need to turn her back. I will take care of her!”
Upon hearing this, Léiluó panicked and protested loudly.
“Don’t pull me! You can’t even take care of your son, how can you take care of me… Ugh, why do I need you to take care of me?”
Even though she had become a loli, she still wanted to maintain her dignity as a man! With hands and feet, why should she rely on others?
“Oh, this time it’s just a temporary effect for demonstration, it will only last until midnight tonight~”
This explanation was something I and Xiǎo Lěi had agreed on beforehand.
I put on a cunning smile and said in a mischievous tone, “What do you think, Thunder Meow-Meow? If you still want to be an idol, then obey me~ Otherwise, you might face even worse consequences?”
Oh, how wicked I am, these lines sound like those of a despicable agent holding an idol’s weakness over their head.
“How despicable!”
In response to Thunder Meow-Meow’s pitiful accusation, I sneered, “Heh, did you change your form and forget who you were before? I don’t want to be called despicable by a thug who wants to gang up on me.”
I half-crouched in front of her sofa, looking straight into her beautiful almond eyes.
“Thunder Tiger, I really hate you to death. If you weren’t turned into a girl, you’d be quite cute. I wanted to ask the Divine Messenger to turn you back just now.”
When I put on a fierce look, it was quite frightening. Thunder Meow-Meow actually had her eyes turn red from fear. Is this still the Thunder Tiger… This is also a way to get revenge for Mí Fēng Street; I was beaten to tears back then too.
I smiled gently and wiped away the tears in her eyes, speaking to her in the gentlest tone, “But everyone makes mistakes, one mistake doesn’t define a person. If even a thug like you wants to be an idol, can’t they be good parents once? Give them another chance, I’ll supervise them with you!”
The idol otakus behind her finally reluctantly put away their batons, chains, and machetes… It was all a misunderstanding, look how agitated these brothers are… Ahahaha (forced laugh)… Damn, it scared me.
Hey! That loli cop over there! Quickly arrest these knife-wielding thugs!
Ah! She actually looked away!
“I’m telling you, missy, are you trying to flirt with me?”
After all, she wasn’t an original girl, Thunder Meow-Meow sniffed and pushed my hand away.
“Yes! I like you! Your singing is really unique, I’ve fallen in love with the idol named Thunder Meow-Meow!”
Thunder Meow-Meow’s pupils suddenly contracted, completely unprepared for what I said, her breathing became rapid.
“As a fan, I hope you can return to your family and have a happy home.”
“Then as an idol, can you respond to the small expectations of your fans?”
The young idol stared at me with her lively eyes, trying to find a flaw in my expression.
Humph, humph, humph, unfortunately, I genuinely like her singing, so there won’t be any flaws.
This series of moves was perfect, even Thunder Meow-Meow probably…
“No, I can’t accept them yet.”
Damn, why aren’t you playing by the rules!
I pressed my hand against my heart, suppressing the blood rising to my throat…
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