Speak of The Devil

Jung Yiyeon had an indescribable expression on her face. It wasn’t a smile, nor was it anger. She was expressionless, but there was something unsettling about her.“…Can I come in?”“Ah… Yes.”I hesitated and stepped back.Jung Yiyeon followed me hesitantly into the house. As he stood in the entrance, the door closed behind him. I stood there, dumbfounded, halted in my backward steps. Jung Yiyeon took off his shoes and entered. With each step he took, my heart pounded heavily.Fortunately, I had cleaned yesterday. It would have been too embarrassing for my pride if he saw the mess I usually lived in, and he probably knew about it. My heart felt like it was about to burst as Jung Yiyeon explored the house.“For some reason… Ah, would you like some tea?”I was still bewildered by the fact that Jung Yiyeon was in my house. Even though he had been here before, sleeping over, the situation was different now. Jung Yiyeon’s presence in my house felt so alien.“No need for tea.”Jung Yiyeon, who had been looking around the house, turned to me. His face seemed uneasy. Anxiety mercilessly surged through my chest in the slight furrow of his forehead.“I don’t know what I’m doing right now.”Jung Yiyeon sighed and asked me.“Do you still want to be my secretary?”“….”Like having glue on my lips, I couldn’t respond. Instead, my face turned beet red.If he were to ask if I wanted to… There had never been a time when I didn’t want to. Especially when looking at his pure white face, deep gaze, and lush eyelashes.When Jung Yiyeon didn’t even treat me like a person, I still missed him and wanted to have sex with him. The desire to hold him, feeling his body heat, was an instinctual urge. Because I liked him.But today was a bit different. It wasn’t me, but Jung Yiyeon. What was different was the look in his eyes when he looked at me. In those pitch-black pupils, his genuine feelings were no longer hidden.“…Yes.”Overwhelmed with emotions, I couldn’t help but answer. I felt like crying again. I couldn’t recall the miserable experiences I had with him before. As I faced him coming to my house, my heart was filled with joy.“I want to.”There’s no way I wouldn’t want you, who desires me. Just looking at you makes my heart flutter with affection.I couldn’t bear the boiling passion towards Jung Yiyeon any longer. Reaching out, I grabbed his cheek. Drawn to me, Jung Yiyeon pulled me into his embrace.I hastily sought his lips, intertwining mine with his. As our lips met, his scent flowed into me, filling me completely. The sensation of our tongues meeting was unusually strange and sent shivers down my spine.Jung Yiyeon removed the glasses from my face and, still holding my waist, tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Our tongues entangled in a sticky dance as we explored each other’s mouths. I traced beneath his tongue, intertwining our tongues, and sucked on his lips. Even the wet sounds of our lips meeting were electrifying.While exchanging kisses, Jung Yiyeon released my waist and took off his jacket. In the brief moment our lips parted, he loosened my tie. As Jung Yiyeon unbuttoned from the top, I lowered the hand that had been holding his cheek, undoing his belt and pulling down his fly. When I pulled at the waist, the pants he was wearing slid down smoothly.Jung Yiyeon grabbed the hem of the shirt I was wearing and lifted it off. With my arms raised, I unbuttoned my shirt, revealing my chest as I tossed aside his shirt that had been hanging over my shoulders.And as our eyes met, I pulled Jung Yiyeon into an embrace, sealing our lips once again. His soft lips were unusually sweet today. Sucking, nibbling gently, I pressed my body against his.Jung Yiyeon’s bare skin. Sensing the warmth directly from his skin, I felt like tears would well up again. Every time our skins touched, it felt electric, making involuntary murmurs flow out.“Ah…!”Jung Yiyeon pushed me onto the bed. Discarding the remaining clothes, he climbed onto the bed and swiftly removed both my pants and underwear.Without hesitation, he climbed up on top of me, lowering his head towards mine.Our lips touched.I embraced his neck, tilting my head to deepen the kiss. Between our parted lips, his moist tongue entered my mouth. I eagerly met his tongue, licking and sucking on it.We held each other tightly, kissing again and intertwining our tongues. Amidst the persistent kissing, I explored and caressed his body with mine.Even though we had engaged in sex numerous times in the past two months, I hadn’t dared to touch him like this before.Jung Yiyeon, while having sex with me, never bothered to properly undress. He simply pulled down his bottoms, exposing only his genitals, suggesting that all he wanted from me was the hole to penetrate. I couldn’t bring myself to touch a man like that.Even though I was treated like a sex toy, I couldn’t help but get excited. When embracing his neck, even if it meant being treated no differently from a sex toy, my shirt would be caught under my palm. Through that fabric, I wanted to feel his warmth and struggled with that desire.So, the realization that I was actually touching his body now filled my heart with joy. Jung Yiyeon, Jung Yiyeon. I didn’t let go of his cheek, incessantly kissing his lips.“Ugh…!”Jung Yiyeon caressed my body before gripping my chest. His forehead, gently wrinkled, hinted at the lack of much flesh in my chest. But he didn’t stop caressing and continued to stroke my chest, flat stomach, and sides.“Ha…”Jung Yiyeon kissed my neck. The movement of his tongue along the neck and licking the collarbone was sensually intense. My body trembled with joy under his touch. When his lips captured the raised nipple, my waist quivered with a more thrilling sensation than usual.“Uhh, ugh….”Embarrassed by the escaping sounds, I covered my lips with the back of my hand. However, Jung Yiyeon continued to suck and bite my nipples, causing sounds to leak out. Strong sucks and pulls would elicit sighs resembling moans. I had never felt my chest like this before, and the overwhelming excitement was beyond my control.“Ah, Sir….”When his hand grasped my genitals, I gasped while calling his name. The partially erect organ, aroused by his chest licking and teasing alone, quickly hardened in his hand. Jung Yiyeon continued to suck my chest and fondle my genitals. The accumulating pleasure quickly turned my lower abdomen into a simmering furnace.I moaned, blushing deeply. Jung Yiyeon once again kissed the tip of my chest before finally removing his lips. He moved his hand between my spread legs. Touching the dry entrance and teasing the folds, he whispered.“Don’t cry today.”A low voice. Jung Yiyeon probably didn’t know that his gaze made my eyes watery. His lips touched my eyelids.“I won’t hurt you today. Don’t cry, Secretary Lee.”Thud, thud. The sound of rain hitting the window brought my consciousness back to the surface.Was there rain in the forecast today? It was so clear yesterday. Still groggy, I struggled to recall the weather forecast. The sleep seemed short, but my head felt heavy.Suddenly, I realized it wasn’t the rain that had awakened me. The warmth tickling my side. As I became aware of it, I turned my eyes to the owner of the warmth.“Ah….”At the moment our eyes met, a surprised sound escaped my lips.The hand that had been caressing my side touched my eyelashes gently. My eyes felt stiff and twitched around the eyes, and there was a warm sensation as if all moisture had evaporated.“It’s swollen.”The man poking my eyelids with his fingers was Jung Yiyeon.The man who used to leave without a backward glance after the act was now right in front of me. He was the one sitting on the bed, caressing my sleeping side as if he had been waiting for me to wake up.“Rest.”As Jung Yiyeon stood up, I felt the recoil of the bed. I gazed at him, propping myself up with my upper body.I remembered having sex, even the heavy breathing afterward, but there was no recollection of falling asleep. I do remember being held by Jung Yiyeon for a while after we finished. It seemed like I had briefly fallen asleep afterward.But when did Jung Yiyeon wake up? He was now dressed in slacks, a shirt, and even had his tie on. Thanks to casually throwing his clothes on the floor earlier, his attire was wrinkled unlike usual.…Why did it feel so sensuous? Jung Yiyeon suddenly rushing into the office during working hours and running towards me. The memories of the subsequent sex made my cheeks blush. Watching Jung Yiyeon, now wearing the crumpled jacket, stirred excitement within me.Seeming unfazed by the wrinkled jacket, Jung Yiyeon turned to me. I sat up a bit more.“…Secretary Lee.”Jung Yiyeon hesitated, as if he had something to say. Like a man who didn’t know what he was doing when he first entered, he seemed a bit confused. I waited quietly for him to speak.“Next time… let’s have a meal together.”A sentence I hadn’t expected to hear from him. I, on the contrary, stiffened.“Sure.”I don’t know how he interpreted my stiff response. Without giving me a chance to answer, Jung Yiyeon turned away. Putting on his shoes at the entrance, he left the house as smoothly as flowing water.With the closing of the door and the sound of the door lock, silence filled the room.‘Next time… let’s have a meal together.’Jung Yiyeon’s words played automatically in my mind, endlessly repeating in a continuous loop.Having a meal. Let’s have a meal. We had never even shared a cup of coffee during all the times we met, let alone a meal. Suddenly, a suggestion for a meal.…Could it be… a date? Is that it? A date proposal? Is that possible??The moment I recognized it, my heart started pounding like crazy. It felt like my heart was about to break through my chest with the speed and intensity of its beats. At the same time, I couldn’t erase the overwhelming sense of anticipation filling my chest.Perhaps something was really changing. Even though I knew I shouldn’t have any expectations about Jung Yiyeon, I couldn’t help but feel excited and thrilled. The desire for him was as strong as the painful times I had experienced. That feeling was still ongoing.It might be just my imagination again. Despite repeating that to myself over and over, I couldn’t shake off the excited and fluttering feeling. The subtle changes in his actions gave hope to the part of me that yearned for Jung Yiyeon.***Jung Yiyeon’s feelings are now leaning toward me. That seemed to be the only hypothesis explaining his words and actions that soothed me when I cried, came to my house, and promised a meal next time.People are truly cunning creatures. Lately, it felt like there was always a big bruise on my heart. Or as if a big hole had opened, making me feel empty and helpless to endure myself.But Jung Yiyeon being just a bit kinder seemed to have improved my situation as if something significant had changed. I used to be unable to stand being alone, resorting to contacting acquaintances to have a drink, but now I didn’t feel like having a sip of beer. Instead, I wanted to spend time waiting for him alone.But I was frustrated.He suggested having a meal, but when should we eat? Was it okay for me to contact him first and suggest a place to eat, or should I wait for him to message me about his daily routine, like whether he arrived well at work? I couldn’t figure out the right approach. All I could do was wait for Jung Yiyeon’s message, and this made me feel restless.Maybe I should just drink and pretend I couldn’t resist the alcohol, then contact Jung Yiyeon.Even though it had been only a day since he visited my house, I felt like dying because of my obsession.Previously, I didn’t have such an anxious feeling, as I thought he would never be mine. However, now that Jung Yiyeon hinted at something, I was incredibly curious about his thoughts. The sudden visit to my workplace from the office might mean he missed me. Just like how I pretended not to know by saying I didn’t understand, maybe Jung Yiyeon was gradually realizing his feelings for me.Well, whatever. Jung Yiyeon is not a lunatic. If he didn’t like me, he wouldn’t have treated me so kindly. Even after suggesting to break up, he came out whenever I contacted him, and the only explanation was that he had feelings for me. Thinking about it that way, the misery I felt at that time seemed like nothing.Jung Yiyeon, who wrapped his hands around my cheeks and kissed me, licking my eyes along the trails of tears. Jung Yiyeon, who was deeply buried between my legs, excitedly drinking my tears even more. ……As I thought about it, the space between my legs tightened. I wanted to touch Jung Yiyeon’s bare skin. I wanted to do all sorts of naughty things with him. I had never liked penetrative sex like this before, but it felt so good with Jung Yiyeon. It seemed like I wanted to feel that satisfaction again, connected with him.Should I contact him?I hesitated, picking up and putting down my phone repeatedly. However, it felt a bit awkward to contact him after just one day. It was not about preserving my pride; I was genuinely confused about whether it was okay or not. I felt impatient, yet I lacked the courage in my current state.I was acutely aware of the relative length of time. There used to be days when I was so busy that, after blinking once, the morning sun had risen, and it felt like I was constantly in a hurry. But now, with nothing to do all day, time passed so slowly. It was incredibly challenging to endure the long and slow hours, filled with excitement, nervousness, impatience, and restlessness.Then, around seven in the evening.At the sound of the doorbell, I bounced off the bed like a spring. There had been a visitor during lunch, a parcel sent by my brother. Except for that parcel, there was no one else who would visit me at home, so it must be Jung Yiyeon this time. If he didn’t want to go out, maybe we could just grill some meat at home. Thinking that way, I swung the door open.“…Lee Nan.”At the sight of the large man standing in front of the door, I froze for a moment.Damn it. I guess I need to install a visible intercom at the door. Living in an old apartment with two men, I never thought that not replacing the outdated intercom would lead to this regret.The visitor wasn’t Jung Yiyeon. Standing in front of my door was Seo Jaeoh, who I had never expected. I hesitated for a moment, stiffening at the sight of his tearful face.“Ha…”Despite irritation building on his face, there was undoubtedly a heaviness in a corner of Seo Jaeoh’s heart toward me. It was probably because Seo Jaeoh was somewhat special to me, unlike other guys. Setting aside our sexual relationship, he was someone I cherished and liked quite a bit. Moreover, he had tried to help me when I was wandering after quitting the company, and there was a certain gratitude towards him.Come to think of it, I had forgotten about you. There were still unresolved matters between us. I thought that I had rejected a drunken Seo Jaeoh, and that was the end of it. His unexpected visit caught me off guard.…Of course, Seo Jaeoh always made efforts to reconnect with me like this.“I… I want to apologize.”Seo Jaeoh struggled to open his mouth with a strained voice.“…That day, I, under the influence of alcohol… No, that shouldn’t have happened. I have no excuse. I’m sorry.”I pondered for a moment about what I should say to him, seeing his head bowed deeply and his gaze avoiding mine. Should I comfort him or say something to break the silence? I hesitated for a while.It wasn’t that I was angry with Jaeoh. It was just burdensome to deal with his emotions. Rather than feeling angry or unpleasant, I felt grateful and sorry for him.…Besides, didn’t I also know the painful feeling of unrequited love?If I had loved you, it would have been really nice. If I had warmly accepted your affection and reciprocated it, we both would have been truly happy. Why did the direction of our affections always seem to be mismatched?“…Come in, for now.”I invited him into my house out of sympathy.Perhaps it was because things were gradually resolving with Jung Yiyeon that I felt more relaxed than before.He seemed surprised when I told him to come in, as if he hadn’t expected it.“Because mosquitoes might come in. Come in and talk. It’s a bit awkward for two men to have this kind of conversation in the hallway.”“Ah… Sure…”When I stepped back, Jaeoh entered the house. As he came inside, his gaze wandered around the house, and it seemed like he noticed that I had tidied up. Jaeoh must have also realized that there were no traces of his belongings.“Have a seat.”I motioned for Jaeoh to sit and poured him a glass of water.“…I’m sorry.”Sitting across from each other at the dining table, Jaeoh lowered his head again.“I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”“…It’s fine. I mean, it wasn’t that scary, and it wasn’t something that really happened. You left when I told you to leave. So, it’s fine.”“Still.”“I got angry because of your emotions.”“…”Jaeoh bit his lip, looking miserable. But I knew that I had to remain more composed in this situation.In the past, I might have acted more rudely, but at least now I knew that I shouldn’t inflict further pain.“Seo Jaeoh, I don’t love you.”“…”“Because those feelings don’t change at my will, and I can’t make an effort, nor do I want to.”“Wait.”Jaeoh suddenly interrupted me. After blocking my words, he ran his fingers through his hair, and his face, washing off the dry tears, looked painfully vulnerable. I felt stifled and uncomfortable in the face of his expression that couldn’t hide his turmoil.“…We’ve known each other for several years. Of course, I like you. But…”Jaeoh let out a deep sigh and continued speaking.“I know what kind of person you are, I… Ha, Lee Nan.”“Seo Jaeoh.”“I can be satisfied with just being friends.”It was an absurd statement. Jaeoh himself had revealed the desire for more than friendship while under the influence of alcohol. However, Jaeoh continued to mutter to himself, as if brainwashing himself.“Being friends is enough. Just occasionally seeing each other, helping you when you’re struggling… We’ve known each other for a long time. I don’t want to invalidate those times.”Our perspectives on our relationship were so different. Even if I found joy in each moment spent with Jaeoh, he wanted to continue the connection, deeming those times as valuable. Now, with one side’s emotions weighing heavily, the past moments seemed meaningless. Yet he spoke as if there were a future worth continuing the connection for.“I was too drunk that day, and I made a mistake. It was a mistake. So… don’t push me away. Don’t act like you won’t see me again.”…Why was Jaeoh pleading so earnestly?“I’m not asking for anything from you. I just, I just want to do it because I want to.”What was I supposed to say to Jaeoh, who was clinging to me like this?I could easily say that I don’t like him, that it was enjoyable and dirty until now, so let’s never see each other again. Didn’t Jaeoh have his pride too?It felt like a thorn was stuck in my throat. The most reasonable path would be not to accept even the friendship offered.But I also questioned whether I really wanted to sever ties with Jaeoh like that. His willingness to maintain our connection, even just as friends, was appreciable. I had selfishly thought it was fortunate that Jaeoh was there for me during difficult times. Without Jaeoh, I might feel a sense of loss in moments of yearning.Ultimately, Jaeoh wanted something. What should I say to him?I wanted to reject him without causing any hurt. However, rejecting someone without causing pain was inherently contradictory. Even if I covered it with honey and sugar, rejection itself was a wound.