Soulbound - reincarnated as a zanpakuto

I take another sip of my alcoholic drink not bothering about any decorum and just chugging straight from the bottle. It was the last one that emptied it so as I did before I threw it into the corner making the glass shatter.

After finishing this one I went to the bar to get another. Wait, Where is a barman?

"B-bahnan, cohm gibe me a dhing!"

I look around to see him. Nowhere, do I remember him being here when I came for the previous one... or maybe a few before? I don't know.

A sudden idea gets me and I gasp. He was kidnapped! Let's find him!

But first, a drink. I took the liberty of taking a drink on my own and just left money on the table. Oh right, money. Don't have more of it.

Oh well, I am sure this small shiny gold bar is enough, isn't it?

I opened up a bottle and took a swing. Wow! The earth is shaking, is there an earthquake?

Oh, most of the people are lying on the ground unconscious or trembling under tables. Yeah, an earthquake.

Then something flew past me nearly hitting me. Looking back at it I saw some armour-wearing dude lying on top of many destroyed bottles inside a now broken bar...

Not caring about his dented armour or the fact that he was barely conscious I lifted him up.

"Lookh whgt yah dighd! Ya destryed so much beautyfugl goodhnes! "

And I punched him through a wall. That will teach him a lesson for desecrating this sanctuary.

As I look around I notice something.

"Waht?"

It was a girl looking at me with shock and a hint of fear.

I look around and spot the thing she is holding. It is the arm of that guy I punched.

"Ahh, yohr his gf righd?"

And she run away. Why? Is there something on my face or something? Ahhh. It's because of the earthquake. She must have realised that it's safer outside since the building might collapse. Smart girl.

I should get out too, it's not safe here.

Outside is not much better, there are some buildings that are still standing but many more are not. I need to hurry up and get somewhere safe before I get crushed by a building.

The streets are empty and quiet. It's strange, usually there would be more people even if the city is under attack.

I saw a family walking away with packed items. As soon as they noticed me they started running away.

"NO! It's her! Run!"

"H-honey! but our house!"

"Our lives are more important! Have you seen what they did to Brendan! He barely survived and now is without a hand and legs!"

I also saw a few more groups like that in the distance. Are they moving? Maybe they organised an evacuation to leave a city because of an earthquake.

Wait, where is my husband?! I swear if I see him with some woman out there I will gouge out her eyes.

Where did I see him last time... ah right at the tavern thing.

I went back to check and I saw him there slapping some guy while yelling.

"Don't call mah wife a demon, you little shit!"

And the guy got embedded in a wall with his hands bent in weird directions.

He beat him almost to death because I was insulted.

My hero! My knight in shining armour!

So I threw myself at him and hugged him tight! I held him for some time until someone separated us.

Who dares!

Oh, it's Eris or Chris with Aqua, along with that weird group of theirs.

What are they doing here?

"Girls, go away. Me and your father are gonna make you a new sibling."

Without responding they passed me a bottle. How nice of them to give their mother a drink.

Why is everything spinning?

"Husband I feel weird."

I looked at my side and saw him on the ground sleeping. Poor dear, must have been so tired.

I think I will take a nap too.

------------------------------

I open my eyes waking up with my vision blurry. I sit down from a damn hard bed and look around noticing the dim background of the room I am in.

That was one weird dream...

It is a prison cell, isn't it? 

Damn. There is no zanpakuto at my side. He most likely went back to the blade and it was confiscated. 

Well, that's not really a problem, the bars here are made of some poor-quality steel, maybe from iron ores or something. A simple punch will destroy it. And then I will just make my way out.

I am not concerned about Tarael, those guys have no means of even scratching it and that guy can just walk out of it and kill them if they tried to begin with.

Before I start my plan I have to see if my zanpakuto is somewhere around, I hear someone opening the door nearby.

I heard the sound of the door opening and closing as I felt the presence of a new person.

"You have been summoned."

A guard wearing some sort of low-quality armour came. I couldn't see his face due to a helmet, but at least I knew he was a male.

"I have to wait for my lawyer before that."

The guard did not respond and simply took my hands and placed handcuffs on my hands and legs. They were quite heavy and I guess that they are also made of iron. Although I could have stopped them, it would have given our daughters and their friends some trouble due to that. So unless they will do something outrageous I will go.

I was taken out and we went along the corridor. It was quite long and there were a few more cells like the one I was in.

In the end, there were two other guards, they joined us and we left the building. We went to a smaller place near this prison? garrison? Whatever I was in. There I saw a table, some girl wearing a uniform with black hair and glasses along with multiple guards. They tried to hide it, but I can feel them being nervous.

Husband... We fucked up a little bit. I swear I will stop drinking in the future, even if there are no health repercussions.

As I sat down the girl looked at me and placed that bell? Oh, It a thing that can detect if you are lying... hehehehe I am so gonna troll them. A shame my love is not around to enjoy it too.

"Ehm, my name is Siena and I will be interrogating you to gather charges for future trial"

They want to put me before the judge... I can barely hold myself from laughing.

"It's too bad we couldn't catch the other one. If you will say where he is it might help you." 

She ended while looking at me seriously. Jeez, you are no fun girl. Smile a little or something.

Let's test this device.

"I don't know where he is."

*ding*

"A lie."

"Who would have thought."

Looking at her arched eyebrows and ticking mark it seems she did get my joke and didn't like it. Why can't you be more fun.

"You don't understand your situ..."

"No girl, It is you who doesn't get it."

She just sighs at my comment. I am bored now girl, or Sena was it. No fun expressions or anything. Boring.

"Are you working for Demon King?"

"No"

No reaction from the bell it seems.

"Weird. I was sure you do. Why else would you..."

"Me and my husband got drunk"

...

Silence. Even the guards look at me in astonishment. Yeah I know I am awesome.

Now that I think about it. At lest now I know where does Aqua get that part from. She drinks a lot too.

"Excuse me can you repeat."

"We got drunk and got aggressive."

How many times did she sigh already? I stopped counting.

"At least now we know who is the other one. Where did he go, is it far?"

"He went nowhere"

Yeah, you can look at this device as long as you want. It will not ring.

"Is this a place?"

"No, he haven't moved and never left the same location through the past week."

No ring once more. Hehehe, Of course he didn't. He was not here with his real body to begin with.

She looks as if she got some brain damage. I regret not having a camera now.

"We are talking only because noone actually died and the repair costs along with payment for the seriously wounded was paid from the adamantine bar you left in a pub."

Oh, I though it was just some gold. Meh, who cares.

"Are you human?"

"No."

"I am not getting paid enough for this... This would mean that you are a demon since no other races come to this parts odten and all of them have obvious charasteristics."

"No I am not. And where is my sword anyway?"

"It is going to get remolded as a punishment since it seems to hold a great value."

"Pfff... Yeah good luck with that. Many will die if you try to begin with."

I said, but with less fun tone. They fucking dare.

"Is that a threat? Miss.."

"Ikeragi Atsune. When you interrogate someone your should start with asking that. Miss beginner. And no it's not a threat, It's a fact"

"Are you an enemy of the human race?"

"For now I consider you and this situation as something interesting and fun, but it might change if you will make me angry. And if you do then not even gods will help you."

She is so annoyed that she is not even paying attention to the bell not ringing. Let's use that.

"Be carefull, you might get smited by goddess aqua or maybe even by the soul queen."

"I remember the day when I was spanking that airhead for being a bad girl. And how would I punish myself, huh?"

She just waved her hand to get the guards to escort me away, most likely treating me like some psycho. I wonder if she will ever figure it out.

Despite her not being as entertaining as I thought she would be she seems like a good material for our new addition to Albedo's squad.

With the bullshit I am causing it seems like I am some sort of trickery god, but I think I just got to relax after work so I ammunconcoiusly winding a bit.