Somewhere Someplace

This world is one of Gods, but you see through the veil

Yet, for as much as you can see through the veil, you remain blind to the truth

Though, I can help you see, provided that you help me breathe

Though, not as though you have much a choice, but to help me feel

A cold and frigid silence echoed and filled the crystalline chamber…as it continued to wisp and dust…all the crystalline compounds within…slowly but surely…withering away like glimmering snow-dust…into decaying residual essence.

This engagement…it was over…the colossus was dead…yet…so too…was everyone else, besides of course…the foreigner herself. Yet again…had she failed; yet again…was she left the only one still standing…left alive to see the aftermath.

Still gripping her sides…she stumblingly strolled around…with piercing pain, even if her mind…was tuning it out…in order to analyze this…aftermath of hers.

She approached…the fragmented remains of that guardian colossus…its exotic crystalline compounds…wisping away like snow-dusty radiant steam of decaying essence. She attempted…to unravel…what this thing…even was.

As soon as its ‘heart’ and ‘core’ had been struck by the lancing beam, it began to fall apart…dead on the spot…seemingly. Yet…hardly any traces of this heart-core persisted…having been thoroughly annihilated and turned to residual exotic ash…seemingly; a rather familiar sort of exotic residual ‘ash’ at that…though, still somewhat distinct.

Though…she peered around…discovering pieces and fragments of its once existing heart-core; indeed…annihilated…yet not completely, thus it seemed. Evaluating…she began to notice…the residual signs of…biological matter…tissues, nerves…brain-matter…she even found…the small fragment of…what appeared to be an exotified spinal column…entombed in a cracked chunk of fractured crystal.

Ah…well then…now…she knew the answer to this…‘mystery’ of where the source of this arcane ‘puppet’ was. Truly…yet another atrocity of existence.

She sighed before silently…moving on. She had…more things…more causalities…of this failed so-called ‘rescue’… to attend to. She made way…to the shield adventurer’s remains…or rather…searched around for his scattered bits and pieces—his head in particular.

Yet…all she could find of his head…were fragments of skull…skin…eyes…and brain-matter; destroyed thoroughly. Though, ironically…for a body and brain to be so decisively destroyed…at the same time and all at once…did not usually cause…the same…total and immediate deleting erasure of essence…as what could occur when…directly shooting the head. Essence…was simply weird like that.

Thus…his essence…was probably still lingering around…as a withering echo destined to gradually and slowly…decay with time’s pass…along with all the rest. Yet another…forsaken echo to add to her endless list…of all those…whom she had failed, of all those whom…she had forsaken, in those times of old.

Suddenly…pop…a loud popping bounce echoed in the air…she looked and saw…the mage’s body…had finally came tumbling down, the impaling lance…having withered and decayed…almost like melting ice. She sighed…ah…so laid down on the ground near and around …the next one, to which she promptly approached.

She kneeled down on her legs…as she inspected and evaluated the mage’s body. Discounting the height from which it had fallen…it was…not a pleasant sight to behold. The mage had been impaled…from the bottom-in and top-out…fast and swiftly too…insides had likely been pierced and perforated…gruesome and painful…but death came equally as swift—hopefully…at least, for otherwise the decaying echo left behind…would surely be a tormented one, forever trapped…in those last minutes of imprinted misery…without any peace to be found; yet another…to add to her list.

Staring…she then abruptly lanced her gazing attention upwards…and straight towards that very entry-hole down from which she had entered…on which the wagoneer had been overwatching. It no longer existed…sealed shut by collapsed crystalline debris…not even a corpse or pieces of one…to be found; crushed…underneath…such had been.

She stared…blankly…silently. Ah…right…she was the one who had dragged him here…insistently so; he was essentially her subordinate…in this entire…‘mission’ of hers; yet…she had done nothing whatsoever to ensure…his basic survivability…and safety. His death…was…in every sense of the phrase…completely her fault, completely her responsibility. Though…such was…in fact…the case for all the deaths this day.

Indeed…right, this entire time…she had both the means and power…to have ended things swiftly and decisively. Yet…she had not even bothered to use such means…to use what she…had always used…to save those denizens…to combat that colossus…and to actually…claim victory.

All…perhaps for…valid reasons, for such…could reveal far more about her true self than she wanted to be revealed. Her conduit was a last resort…specifically meant to combat things…beyond the local domain…things relevant to her domain…yet…what even was…local domain…in this case? She herself had barely survived…this entire…ordeal.

Yet…regardless…she could have had…saved their lives…she could have had…actually…saved their lives…and won…for once…she could have actually…won. Truly…had she become so conditioned and accustomed to endless failure…that she did not even bother…to even try to win…anymore?

She remained paused and frozen…her eyes drifting back down to the mage’s bloodied corpse. She stared at it…contemplating it…was…was this…the outcome…that she so truly wanted? Had she…even wanted to save their lives…to begin with? Or…did had she just…wanted to die trying to save their lives…having already…presumed her failure?

Maybe…that was what it had been; she was suddenly presented…with an opportunity to finally perish in service…to fall while fulfilling her duties…and had taken it…without the consideration or even genuine care…for the denizens themselves and…their real breathing lives…at all.

Or maybe…she had been playing this game of masquerading pretend…for far too long within this minuscule time…that maybe…she had begun to actually…think…that she was…perhaps…kind of like them; maybe she had…forgotten deep down within…what she truly was and…what she will always be…until the very end…maybe…she had…pretended to follow these…delusions to the point…of making them…real.

Maybe…that was why…she did not bother to use…her main tool…that very thing which had kept her alive…in all those far worse nightmares in which she had been left derelict and stranded…maybe she had actually believed that…this primitive denizen firearm was all that she…had to use, forgetting about her…other…truer…option.

The foreigner sighed…as so…so many…strange utterly incomprehensible…feelings engulfed her mind, bleeding out from its own shadow; she did not know nor comprehend any of it; she did not know…or comprehend…why she did not bother to…use…her conduit; truly…she was an enigma…even to herself.

She stood herself up…her eyes still staring down; she had no excuses to justify this utter failure…she had no room for regret nor lamenting sorrow…the past was fixed and permanent…there were no promises to be made…only actions to be done.

She was not a denizen, and never will be. She had her engagement protocols and regulations, and she had her overriding prerogatives, all of which stipulated and dictated her allowed actions and capabilities for intervention; she followed them, that was all there was…to it.

She began to walk off…and make way as such a strange…frigid numbness filled her veins and being. Clearly, she had become too reliant on this primitive revolver…one that had proven to be…so utterly useless in this situation. Clearly…she needed more firepower…and…it was equally clear…that the locals…had such means for such firepower.

Those strange…arcane-augmented explosive shots used by the wagoneer…had demonstrated adequate effectiveness against…that atrocity of a crystalline mannequin. Thus…she will have to see if…her former associate had such explosive boom-capable items in her…collection.

Her conduit will remain strictly in reserve as an instrument of last resort—not to be used so casually and openly. Yet…its parameters will be expanded…such that…this would never happen again. It was clear…that the local domain contained things that not even she could handle…at least not without her proper equipment…without which she felt was so…useless.

The foreigner finally approached the gunner’s corpse. She kneeled down as she inspected…a young denizen…one who had been not that much taller than she…though his body…was…well, less laying and more scattered about. Those bursting crystals had already torn enough…but the subsequent detonation of his…strange exotic magic-augmented powder and shot…had did quite the despoiling. Yet another echo…to add to her list.

She stood up…though…wait…her eyes glanced and noticed…hmm…his strange pump-action repeater…one that looked as though it had been made for smaller yet wider hands…it was damaged…quite so…but…still largely intact. Repairable and retrofittable, and she had…somewhat of the technical knowledge…to do such a thing…or at least she had the…practical know-how to…maybe…figure it out…even without the proper tools.

Hmm…indeed…no point in leaving such a novelty of a firearm here to rot and wither; such would be…a waste of supplies and resources…and did need a better primary firearm. Thus…she picked it up, respectfully removing…the hand and half-an-arm still clinging to it…and held it in hand.

Her eyes then stared around…evaluating the crumbling and decaying crystalline trap-den of a chamber. Hmm…no climbable way out…now more especially…for the smooth crystalline walls were withering like melting ice…even though were not really melting, merely wisp-dustingly eroding. Being without her…proper equipment…she could not simply grapple her way up and out. Truly…how worthless she was without her proper equipment…truly how alien she felt without…her true mask.

She turned her mask-obscured ignited eyes straight to…that large abyss of a corridor way. Well then…indeed…there was only one real way out. Thus…without any delay…she simply made way…somewhat limping with each painful step.

Yet she halted…standing right before the gargantuan entryway, that bridge between wherever wherefrom that colossus had come…and the chamber wherein the carnage had befallen. She turned around…and simply stared at the withering chamber of decaying crystal…taking it all in…one final time.

« Ita ‹ advena occultants › énquitne? » she murmured out to herself in quiet voice. Ah…truly, she had been so readily reminded…of what she truly was and always will be…no matter what she pretended to so be or so do.

An alien in hiding.

A failure in service of failures…those lingering defeated fragments and pieces…entrapped within an absurdity that will…never end. A decaying trooper…of a certain War they had lost ages ago…whose rotting mind was ensnared within this eternally young coffin; one who was…well passed her expiration date.

So much of her memories…so much of whatever it was…that she once had been all those uncountable eons ago…had long been eroded into bitter nothingness; decayed by time’s everlasting touch. Her continued existence was tiresome…every new memory made and stored in her already over-encumbered mind…felt…so utterly…exhausting. Yet…here she was…still alive; so as long as such remained the case…she will continue to fulfill…her obligations and duties…until time’s end…even if the meaning had been lost…even before…that great fall.

She finally turned around…as she promptly and swiftly made way down into…that abyss of a corridor way…stepping into the withering crystalline tomb…and began to slowly and methodically find her way out of this…sunny-cave and back…to the world above and beyond.

Yet…a strange numbing coldness and frigid emptiness…filled her heart and core…infesting her veins…this one…different from the ones experienced prior…for it did not seem to fade or lift away.

Once again…had yet another switch been so seemingly flipped in her mind…as everything she needed to do…as everything needing to be done…became so very foggy…and hard to discern…even if it remained as clear as shining day. Time unrelenting…simply began to flow onwards…with neither pause nor end to be found.

-???-

The world beyond and above was filled with consuming shadow, air cold-breezing with nightly wind’s fury as the atmosphered moon shined in crescent glory; yet…it all felt clouded and unreal despite the fact her senses could still feel.

Finally…after…a time untold, the foreigner had made it out. Quite frankly…though…her mind had blanked out throughout most of it; she did not remember the journey nor the process out…only that…her limbs, muscles, and insides still throbbed and hurt…and that she was even more dirty and stained with strange residual goop and blood…never mind her ammo satchel being…emptier.

Ah…of course…she must have engaged in combat and killed things; she did not know nor did she care to know; time had simply ceased to exist during the journey out.

Now that she was out, however…where even was she again? Oh right…where else…would she be? She was here…somewhere someplace…and she needed to…right, the wagoneer’s wagon…she needed to rendezvous with it…and figure out how to drive it out; she had watched him…do such a thing, thus she could probably replicate in kind.

She departed away from the rock-hilly area wherein the sunny-cave and its crystalline cavern system so laid…walking with limping steps…for indeed…her figure…while slowly repairing to a point…was still with rather the sharp pain; though, her body still worked and could still move…and such was all that mattered; her mind tuned it all out…as if there was nothing to be felt at all, for there was nothing to be felt at all…even if…she was certainly…feeling…something.

Her exhausted, empty, and ever-bagged ignited eyes…remained evasively fixed downwards…as she made way onwards, her gaze always…always…avoiding those accursed stars…twinkling their shine down from the cosmos high above…whose cold and indifferent eyes stared her down…tauntingly, piercing into her very essence…with that eternal reminder…of how small, pathetic, and worthless she truly was…in the scope of their grand play.

She followed the path and route she had memorized leading to that reclusive little spot wherein the wagon should be hidden. Time passed and flowed…as it so streamed by…until eventually, at some point, she finally reached that exact spot and place…yet…only to find…a half empty wagon and a dead horse.

Indeed…she saw as she arrived…that all of her collected sacks of glow-crystals…were missing entirely…as well as a few of the wagoneer’s own belongings—though most of such were still there.

Ah…interesting.

She inspected around…using the half-moon’s light to help her eyes visually spot and using her hands to feel around; she identified…or inferred the existence of…footprints, among other lingering vestigials scattered about…indicating…two…three…maybe four potential persons? She did not really know…for such was not her forte; she always relied on her gizmos and toys for such endeavors…ugh.

She then inspected the dead horse…feeling it…squishy and still somewhat warm…fresh; its throat had been gashed…it was scratched and torn all around…its insides were missing—probably eaten; judging from the prints left behind…this likely had been done by one of those so-called ‘monsters’ or perhaps just…local wildlife…though…what even was the difference? She did not know nor care to know.

She stepped back…her eyes taking it all in…as her mind contemplated…

Ah…truly…she was staring at…all those reasons for why the wagoneer…had been so adamant to not leave the wagon for too long…for why he had been so hesitant with accompanying her directly into that sunny-cave…predation of the horse and ‘theft’ of all his belongings; though clearly, his belongings had not been the principal target of interest…rather…the collected quest-items were…indicating thus…a targeted confiscation by…other adventurers, then?

Ah…fascinating…so…they could just…do that…then? Find and simply confiscate when left unintended…all those items and things…painstakingly collected by others…at great…great cost…making all those prices paid…turn to vain?

Ah…well…even though such ‘thievery’ was apparently considered ‘wrong’ in these lands, in a utilitarian and pragmatic sense…it was…certainly a tactic and strategy…one she had not considered prior…ironic…since it was not as though she herself even had such stringent frameworks.

Yet now…well…clearly…even to the denizens…their own abstracted ‘morality’ did not matter in these endeavors…only completion…only winning…that was the object…to achieve victory…by any means…by any tactics.

Ah…thus indeed: detail noted. She will keep such things in mind…going forward.

With nothing to salvage or find…she simply departed away from the emptied wagon and deceased equine…leaving both to whatever fate awaited them in time’s relentless pass. She began to make the journey all the way back…to Coastfield…limping each painful step…empty-handed.

Despite…everything that had happened…despite…the losses incurred…this day…she did not even know…if…it even was the same day anymore…but in the end…it had all amounted to nothing. Truly…time certainly enjoyed tormenting with its persisted need to rhyme and repeat…over and over…relentlessly, as if time too was taunting her as much as those glaring stars above.

Yet…nevertheless…by the end, she will have completed this quest…by whatever means deemed necessary…by playing whatever…game she so needed to play. Even if…by this point…she was, perhaps, sick and tired of doing this quest…even if she, perhaps, did not want to step back into that sunny-cave; yet…she had not any choice but to do so; as always…she had not any choice…but do all those things that she did not want to do…and never wanted to do…to begin with…for indeed…she never had a choice to begin with.

Though…for now…all she did, perhaps, want to do…was return to that housing unit…and sleep. Sleep…so very pointless…yet…in a way…it was a temporary death…a cessation of her existence in that moment…where the mind would fade away into utter darkness…provided that…dreaming intrusions did not incurse.

Indeed…she wanted to sleep, just to experience that temporary nothingness. Yet…was that not…what she was experiencing right now? This cold…detached…sense of cloudy nothing…as if she were on the outside…observing…a machination she could not control…moving along on a motor…in an tiresome existence that seemed so devoid of any sound, smell, feeling, and color.