Solo For Two

And when Sasha looked in the mirror, he was terrified at his own reflection. His face was covered with dried, dark red blood, and his long unwashed hair was greasy and tangled. It was astonishing that someone would lend him an expensive coat in such a filthy state.

Sasha cautiously took off Karel’s luxurious coat. Feeling embarrassed as the smell of his own blood mingled with the lingering scent of Karel’s cologne from the thick fabric. Sasha carefully removed his clothes, soaked them in water to wash away the dirt, and rinsed his body several times before entering the marble bathtub.

Finally sinking into the tub, Sasha relaxed, his tension melting away as he drifted off into unconsciousness.

***

When Sasha woke up again, he was lying in bed. Feeling the soft touch of luxurious satin enveloping his body, Sasha felt puzzled. His last memory was clearly of the bathtub… Who had moved him to the bed and changed his clothes?

As consciousness gradually returned, Sasha recalled the events one by one. The nobleman had brought him here. Leaving the brothel, he had paid a lot of money again… And I fell asleep while bathing again.

Feeling absurd about the situation, Sasha sighed.

Every time that young man paid, he would joke about how unlucky he was to spend the night with someone almost as sick as a patient.

Outside, dusk was falling. Sasha looked out the window and was slightly amazed. The red light of the setting sun was coloring the well-maintained, stylish streets and the dark buildings. He thought again about how beautiful the city was, as beautiful as its reputation. It was a scenery he hadn’t known when he was stuck in the back alleys of the brothel.

Sasha wanted to see outside, so he got up.

“Ugh….”

Suddenly, pain surged through Sasha’s body. He bent over in agony. As he tried to sit up, his chest throbbed painfully. When he lifted his clothes, he found a large, gruesome bruise on his chest.

This was probably the work of the boy who shared the same room, Michel. He had a severe temper and often beat Sasha while watching over him. Judging by the severity of the pain, something might be broken.

“Are you awake?”

At that moment, someone’s voice approached. It sounded slightly hoarse. Sasha turned his head, wondering if his eardrums had been damaged from being hit so many times.

Sasha’s mind snapped back into focus. The platinum-haired man, Julian Ludwig, was standing there.

The moment Sasha saw his face, he remembered the last words he had spoken to him. “Leave here before my brother finds out. And I hope we never meet again.”

Though Julian seemed kind on the surface, Sasha knew it was just a facade. Memories of being rebuked by him made Sasha instinctively shrink back.

“I, I left… left that village immediately. I didn’t know I’d meet him here again…”

“I understand.”

“It wasn’t my intention…”

Sasha responded hesitantly. Even he knew his words lacked conviction, sitting quietly on the bed. If he had any dignity, he should have left as soon as he opened his eyes.

But then, did he really have no will to come here?

Sasha fell silent. From the nobleman Karel leading him out of that underground den to secretly hoping he would take him away, he had followed his own wishes.

Julian remained silent for a while. Seeing him staring at him with folded arms and a disapproving look, Sasha reluctantly answered, reading the situation.

“I’ll leave before he arrives.”

“No, that’s not the issue now. Even if you leave, Karel won’t send you away.”

Karel, why?

As Sasha pondered, he stepped off the bed, about to stand on his feet, when the door opened, and Karel entered.

Sasha looked at him nervously, almost holding his breath.

For some reason, Karel seemed a little angry and soon began speaking in a hushed tone with Julian. Sasha couldn’t understand their language.

Seeing them seeming to have forgotten him, Sasha tried to discreetly rise again. But as soon as he moved, they immediately stopped talking and focused menacingly on Sasha. Julian even came closer.

“Don’t move. You might have broken bones.”

‘Just as I thought.’

No wonder the pain was so intense… How could luck be this cruel? To sustain an injury when his body was his livelihood, and he had no money for treatment.

Sasha felt deeply depressed in an instant. The possibility of natural recovery was uncertain. Persisting in life with pain was worse than death.

Julian then helped Sasha back to the bed, arranging several pillows to support him. Meanwhile, Karel, who didn’t speak Russian, sat on a distant couch, staring at Sasha intently. Karel’s gaze was so intense it felt like knives, causing Sasha to shrink every time their eyes met.

“I’m fine, so before I cause more trouble… I’ll leave.”

“You’re leaving? Where to? And don’t lie. You’re not okay. I don’t think basic nursing will suffice, so I’ve called for a royal physician. You need to receive treatment first.”

Sasha glanced at Julian, trying to gauge his expression. It didn’t seem like a lie that he was calling for a doctor.

Julian asked again, “What exactly happened to you?”

“It’s a long story… but I was assaulted.”

Sasha hesitated momentarily, considering where to start and where to stop. He still couldn’t fully trust them.

Carefully choosing his words, Sasha spoke up. “I was a dancer.”

Julian’s eyes widened slightly at that statement.

“You probably already know, but I came from Russia… and I don’t want to go back.”

Well, technically, he couldn’t go back.

Sasha concealed the circumstances of his escape from Russia and the fact that he was being pursued by the Grand Duke. The men before him appeared to be nobles or at least members of families associated with nobility. While he didn’t know much about the upper class, he had heard that most royals and nobles easily formed blood relations and alliances with each other.

What if they leaked or sold information about him to the Grand Duke? Then all the effort he had put into escaping would be in vain.

“But for now, I’ll settle somewhere and start working properly.”

Sasha clutched the blanket tightly as he spoke. Julian sighed and replied, “I see. I’ll apologize. I misunderstood you as a prostitute.”

Sasha glanced at Karel once again. For some reason, Karel probably hadn’t told Julian everything. Especially about finding him in the den. If Julian knew the meeting place, he would still think of Sasha as someone who could be sold off if money was needed.

And really, there was nothing to say even if he was misunderstood. It was a fact that he had sunk to that level.

Sasha felt how ignorant and naive he had been as he fled a long way.

When he first arrived from his hometown village to St. Petersburg, Sasha couldn’t help but marvel at the splendor of the city. But then, he heard that Paris was even more beautiful than St. Petersburg. Sasha soon began to idolize Paris.

He harbored hope that once he arrived in Paris, everything would somehow work out. But that hope shattered as soon as he arrived in the city.

How terrified he had been when he was deceived and kidnapped by thugs and dragged to a brothel! Selling his body was completely different from what Karel did, putting him in a clean bed and feeding him.

Sasha had his money taken away by Karel without a trace. Then he was confined to a windowless room. He had to sleep on filthy bedding for months, not knowing how long, and was always starving. Whenever Sasha asked for his money back or to be let go, they laughed at him, mocking him for being unintelligible.

Locked in that dark room, subjected to violence and verbal abuse, Sasha even began to doubt that he had once been a dancer.

One day, completely engulfed in despair, Sasha had a vague hope when Michelle brought in cash. He thought that if he sold his body like Michelle did for a while, he could somehow escape and survive alone.

In fact, following Karel obediently was also in a similar context. And now, he didn’t feel particularly ashamed.

It’s funny. How desperate he was to survive.

Having lost his family, unable to return to his hometown, and now not knowing the purpose of life. This life was so worthless that it would disappear at any moment without anyone mourning it…

For Sasha, concepts like pride and human dignity had long since become mere shreds of tissue paper. When he first met Karel, Sasha briefly entertained the thought of selling his body to him, and he cried at the thought of such degradation.

But now, things were different.

If he could obtain some comfort for his body and a bit of money, he would have already sold himself several times over.

Sasha pondered in a daze whether fleeing from the Grand Duke’s proposal was foolishness, naivety, or perhaps both.

At that moment, Julian spoke again, his tone somewhat kinder than before.

“It seems like you don’t have anywhere to go. How about traveling with us? We’ll travel for a few more months, then I’ll go to London and Karel will return to Vienna. We can help you settle down. Well, that makes it a second offer, doesn’t it?”

Come to think of it, Julian had offered to travel together when they first met.

“Settle down?”

“Yes. Karel will help you establish yourself in Vienna.”

At that, Sasha shook his head.

“Surprisingly, there are few places where dancers can work. I’ve heard that Paris is somewhat welcoming to Russian dancers… If I go to a smaller city, there won’t be any jobs. I’ll stay here and try to adapt somehow.”

Julian silently observed Sasha for a moment before conveying the message to Karel.

Upon hearing this, Karel suddenly rose from his seat.

Thinking that Karel was approaching him, Sasha shrunk back in fear. However, Karel merely stared silently at Sasha, then resumed his conversation with Julian, still standing.

Sasha couldn’t understand their conversation, but he knew they were arguing. Among the two momentarily contentious figures, Julian seemed to be the first to back down. Julian, as if his head were throbbing, rubbed his temples and asked Sasha.

“You said you were a dancer. Have you been to the Opera Garnier?”

“…Yes.”

“Why didn’t they hire you?”

At that, Sasha remained completely silent. Simply stating the facts was somewhat humiliating. Thinking of the disdain and rejection he faced upon arriving in Paris made it even worse.

Before being trapped by his procurer, Sasha had booked a rundown hostel upon arriving in Paris and headed to the Opera House. After cleaning himself up properly and washing his only set of clothes, he tried to audition, but he was ridiculed and chased away every time he mentioned auditioning.

They treated Sasha like a beggar merely seeking to watch the dancers up close. Even mentioning an audition was treated as if he were suffering from delusions of grandeur. Just imagining their cold stares made knocking on the doors of the Opera House terrifying.

“In fact, I couldn’t audition because…”

“It’s obvious. The threshold of the theater is high. Without a sponsor, auditioning itself would be impossible. It’s already a stage dominated by nobles and socialites… And, I guarantee you, there are plenty of nobles who sponsor just to demand a bed in return. But if you’re not immune, it’s hard to endure, isn’t it…?”

It seemed that becoming a slave to art was no different in France or Russia. Even though Sasha had anticipated it to some extent, he fell into despair.

“I happen to know a Russian noble. Shall I introduce you? He might help. Since you’re acquaintances. His name was… Nikolai.”

Sasha hastily nodded. Nikolai was a very common name in Russia. But if he turned out to be a Grand Duke, he definitely didn’t want to meet him. Moreover, if he really was a Grand Duke, Sasha would end up going back to him of his own accord.

“I won’t make any more connections to my homeland.”

At Sasha’s firm words, Julian sighed deeply.

Feeling as if there was no answer in that sigh, Sasha felt a sinking feeling in his heart. Even he felt his situation was untenable.

“To be honest, I can’t picture you thriving alone in Paris. If you had the ability to save yourself, you wouldn’t be in this situation now… No, I’m not blaming you. Without language and without a penny, anyone would do the same.”

Sasha clenched his trembling fist. Julian’s words were not wrong. Without proving himself with his skills, he would just be someone who only spoke of grandiose dreams.

“Besides, even if Paris is somewhat welcoming to Russian-born dancers, that’s only limited to the Ballets Russes. And for foreigners, it’s already a high barrier, let alone the upper-class culture. With your current condition, it seems hopeless.”

“…I see,” Sasha replied weakly.

“Do you really want to stay active here? Probably because you don’t want any influence from your homeland, right?”

“Yes.”

“I’d like to help, but I don’t have much influence in Paris either… If I must, I can, but it might require some preparation. I also need to express my regrets to my father. Plus, I’d like to put you in the ballet company even if I have to force it a bit, but my friend doesn’t want that.”

With that said, Julian gestured towards Karel. Sasha looked puzzled, following Julian’s gesture towards Karel.

“I don’t think you have many options. Let’s just go together until you recover. Well, you don’t have to settle in Vienna if you don’t want to. I’m not sure if you’ll believe me, but we genuinely want to help you.”

In that moment, Sasha’s mother’s teaching, “There’s no such thing as kindness without expecting something in return,” flashed through Sasha’s mind once again.

Sasha asked Julian, “…Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you helping me? Somehow, it feels like there will be a catch.”

Julian smirked, his eyes still cold.

Sasha thought to himself. Julian’s words about wanting to help him must be true.

“But probably not for my sake, but for their own.”

He didn’t feel like blaming them. That was only natural. Believing in kindness as it is is naive.

Julian said, “As long as you don’t leave first.”

“Don’t leave… Until when?”

“Well, I think you’ll gain freedom when my friend loses interest.”

Sasha turned his head again. Karel was still staring at him intently.

Julian’s words implied that if Sasha didn’t want to suffer from hunger or cold, he should make Karel on his side. And it also sounded like Julian guaranteed his safety as long as Karel’s interest lasted.

Despite the uncertain future, there was no other option for Sasha, who looked like a lost soul in the streets, than to rely on their care.

Sasha’s heart grew heavy. If he offended them even slightly now, he would revert to his pitiful state from before. For the sake of immediate security and, in the long run, his future… Sasha had to make an effort.

“Maybe… that man might give me an opportunity if he takes pity on me. Or if I can’t go that far, I can at least make good use of his favor….”

Then, at least he wouldn’t starve to death right away.

Sasha replied quietly, “Yes. Thank you for your kindness.”

Julian just smiled lightly and left the room.

Sasha remained in the room, not following Julian, still observing Karel, who was still present. Sasha felt a little awkward under Karel’s scrutinizing gaze. At the same time, he tried to figure out how to act to not upset him.

“You look tired… Do you want to lie down?”

As Karel approached and sat on the bed, Sasha felt the bed sink heavily.

“…!”

When Karel reached out his hand to Sasha’s shoulder, the scent of his cologne wafted nearby. In that moment, Sasha suddenly started to hiccup.

“Sorry. Did I startle you?”

Karel quickly withdrew his hand and hesitated, then helped Sasha lie down on the bed, covering him with a blanket up to his shoulders, before moving away.

Sasha, lying down, looked at Karel, the blond aristocratic youth, who was a bit tense, unbelievably. Sasha tried to stop his hiccups. But of course, it didn’t go as he wished, and every time he hiccuped, his stimulated chest hurt too much. Karel’s expression also stiffened along with it.

“Where does it hurt so much? Damn it….”

“……”

“Do you want something to eat? Maybe some water?”

And a while later, a meal with soup and several types of bread was brought into the room.

Karel stared silently at Sasha from a distance. Sasha wondered why Karel wasn’t leaving and picked up the spoon. As he smelled the food, a fierce hunger surged within him.

Sasha slowly lifted the spoon under Karel’s gaze. His growling stomach roared as he took a bite. Blushing with embarrassment, Sasha managed to eat only a little before setting the spoon down.

Perplexed, Karel approached again.

Feeling intimidated by Karel’s stern gaze fixed on the soup still more than half full, Sasha reluctantly took a few more spoonfuls. However, Sasha’s stomach, long famished and deprived of proper meals during his escape, could no longer accept the food. Feeling nauseous, Sasha put down the spoon.

Seeing Sasha’s discomfort, Karel hastily scooped soup onto the spoon and brought it to Sasha’s mouth.

“You’re too skinny. Please eat a bit more. It will help you regain strength quickly.”

Sasha suppressed the urge to vomit. He had been feeling unwell since a while ago. Even though he hadn’t eaten much, he felt like the food was refluxing. But seeing Karel’s expression so earnest, Sasha reluctantly opened his mouth.

Karel didn’t anticipate Sasha’s lips sticking to the spoon as he withdrew it. He hadn’t expected Sasha’s pretty lips to stick to the spoon while eating. Sasha couldn’t help but feel his gaze on his lips, thinking he was definitely monitoring whether he was swallowing the food properly.

But he simply couldn’t swallow it.

“B-Blech….”

Feeling his stomach completely overturning, Sasha eventually couldn’t hold it back and vomited. When his stomach emptied completely, even bile was expelled. Karel’s expression twisted terrifyingly.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…. I’ll clean it up….”

A gust of wind escaped Sasha’s throat. The colorful gasping sounds were eerie to hear. Later, he said it was because the pressure on his organs from pressing down on his gut was like the shock of broken ribs poking into his abdomen.

Eventually, Sasha vomited until he lost consciousness again. Karel, deep in thought, rushed out of the room to find a doctor.