So the Duchess Disappeared

85. Divine Arrangement

From that day on, Psyche’s health began to deteriorate significantly.

She would vomit whatever food was brought to her or retch at just the smell.

Psyche, who was wasting away day by day, appeared pitiable even to those around her.

Clint hadn’t visited her room for a long time.

After their fight, a strange tension lingered in the mansion.

However, Psyche knew that Clint came to see her secretly every night while she slept.

‘He’s truly an enigma…’

But he no longer held her or caressed her face as he used to.

Clint would either sit beside her and watch her sleep or leave after a brief check. About ten days had passed since their confrontation.

Using her illness as an excuse, Psyche did not leave her bedroom, so Clint had no choice but to come to her if he wanted to see her.

When she realized he was visiting her, Psyche thought it best to pretend to be asleep.

It became a habit for her to stay awake, waiting for him to come at night or in the early morning.

Though she wasn’t facing him to talk, she would wake up involuntarily when he came.

Sometimes, Psyche had to stifle her tears and pretend to be asleep.

This strange routine continued, with Psyche pretending to sleep and Clint watching her.

Time dragged on.

One small solace was that the “Madame Rosa” Clint had assigned to watch over her was a decent person.

Alexa, being like a friend, would keep her company and take good care of her, while Madame Rosa, an older woman, was more like a mother figure.

Having worked in the mansion for a long time, Rosa had retired after Clint became the Duke, only to be brought back due to a lack of suitable candidates to watch over Psyche.

Madame Rosa, with her calm and gentle demeanor, was a reasonable and cultured woman, even though she was Clint’s appointee.

“A foolish man, isn’t he?”

Madame Rosa’s voice broke the silence in the room.

Psyche, sitting quietly by the window, and Alexa, standing nearby, turned their heads at the unexpected remark.

The statement seemed out of context, so they waited for Rosa to continue.

“Our Duke, that is. He’s been foolish like that since he was young.”

“…”

Psyche had no idea what she was getting at and remained silent.

“In my view, the Duke simply can’t handle his emotions. What do you think, Duchess?”

Rosa smiled warmly at Psyche.

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

Psyche didn’t want to discuss Clint.

Her cold response made Rosa smile again.

“This might seem inappropriate, but I lost a child myself when I was young.”

“…?”

The sudden change in topic left Psyche bewildered.

“I don’t see why you’re telling me this.”

To Psyche, Rosa was nothing more than the watchdog Clint had assigned, so she didn’t want to have a deep conversation with her.

However, hearing about Rosa’s miscarriage did tug at her emotions a bit.

Noticing the slight change in Psyche’s expression, Rosa smiled and continued.

“I know you don’t like me, Duchess.”

Psyche remained silent, as Rosa’s statement was true.

No matter how good a person Clint had sent, she couldn’t feel positively about someone assigned to spy on her.

“…”

“But knowing we share a similar pain, doesn’t that make you feel a bit differently?”

Psyche quickly tried to guard her heart again, but Rosa noticed her defensiveness and chuckled.

“That’s how it is. Those who share similar pain can comfort each other.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

Rosa’s smile faded.

“Whether you accept or forgive the Duke is entirely up to you…”

She looked slightly sad.

“But the Duke was taught from a young age not to show his emotions. The previous Duke was the same.”

“…”

This was unexpected. Psyche had never heard about Clint’s family or his childhood, so she had no choice but to listen quietly.

“I remember the previous Duke telling young Clint never to cry or show any sign of weakness. ‘A Duke must always appear strong,’ he would say.”

“That sounds… harsh.”

“It was. Clint grew up in an environment where expressing emotions was seen as a weakness.”

Psyche’s interest piqued. She had never imagined Clint’s childhood to be like this.

“Do you know why he was so harsh on Clint?” Rosa asked.

“No, I don’t.”

“Because Clint’s mother wasn’t a noble. She was a commoner who the previous Duke fell in love with and married despite the opposition.”

Psyche’s eyes widened in surprise.

“But because of her status, she never fit into the noble society, and the Duke often distanced himself from her.”

“That must have been difficult for Clint.”

“It was. His mother relied heavily on Clint for emotional support, and the previous Duke disapproved of any sign of weakness in his son. Clint was caught in the middle, trying to please both parents.”

“That explains a lot…”

“Yes, it does. It also explains why Clint is so desperate to hold on to you, why he fears abandonment so much.”

Psyche looked down, processing the new information.

“Thank you for telling me this,” she said quietly.

Rosa smiled softly. “Sometimes, understanding someone’s past can help us see them in a new light. Maybe it will help you decide what to do next.”

Psyche nodded, feeling a mix of emotions. She still felt betrayed and hurt by Clint, but Rosa’s words had given her a new perspective to consider.

As the days passed, Psyche continued to struggle with her health and emotions, but Rosa’s presence became a small comfort in the turbulent times.

“So the previous Duke lost his beloved wife.”

This was the first time Psyche had heard this story.

The tale of the previous Duke and Duchess was a semi-open secret, known by some and unknown by others.

As an outsider deeply engrossed in her own affairs, Psyche only vaguely knew that their marriage had been unhappy.

Asking the servants about Clint’s past was not something she could do, as it wouldn’t be appropriate. However, Madame Rosa seemed willing to share everything openly.

“The previous Duchess took her own life. And it was our current Duke who found her first.”

The revelation was shocking.

Psyche’s face froze, unable to find words.

“The Duke does not express his emotions. He’s holding you here because he doesn’t know how to handle his feelings.”

“…”

“He lost his mother in such a way, so he doesn’t want to lose someone else dear to him.”

“I don’t see how Clint’s troubled past justifies his actions towards me…”

Psyche didn’t want to understand him.

“Given his usual disposition, the Duke would have quickly resolved things with you. But he hasn’t. Despite his anger, he keeps you close. This is the first time I’ve seen him act this way. I’m not defending his actions, but…”

Madame Rosa gave a sad smile.

“Considering he was the one to find his mother after she hanged herself, I’m just relieved he’s grown up this well.”

“That has nothing to do with me.”

Psyche tried to dismiss it, but memories of her own parents’ deaths resurfaced, making her feel dizzy.

Memories that linger at the edge of one’s mind, no matter how hard you try to push them away, might remain painful forever.

The loss of her parents due to someone she trusted was an experience that could never be wrapped in a positive light or seen as a learning experience.

“You’re right. One can’t tie their own wounds to another’s actions. I just wanted you to understand the background of why the Duke is the way he is.”

“…”

“But…”

Madame Rosa hesitated, sensing Psyche’s discomfort, and then spoke again.

“Isn’t that why you and our Duke met?”

“…?”

“Though not the same, I’ve heard you also lost your parents.”

Her words stirred memories Psyche tried hard not to think about.

“Forgive me for overstepping. With age, I find it harder to overlook sorrowful events.”

“Duchess, stop…”

Psyche didn’t want to hear any more.

“You know what it feels like to lose loved ones because of someone you trust. The Duke lost his mother because of his father…”

“Stop!”

Psyche interrupted her.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to hear about Clint’s past.

It was because her own painful childhood and Clint’s merged in her mind, stirring up emotions she couldn’t handle.

“Even if you hurt him, he won’t leave you first.”

That was why Clint had said those words.

That little boy would have desperately wanted his mother not to leave him.

And that little boy was now by her side.

Although she couldn’t understand everything about their broken relationship…

Psyche knew that pain all too well.

Seeing Psyche’s sorrowful expression, Madame Rosa took a deep breath and looked at her with warmth.

“As I’ve grown older and lived through life, I’ve come to realize that there’s no one who hasn’t been hurt in this world.”

“…”

“In the end, our lives are about hurt people clashing and living together. Maybe the fact that two people with similar wounds met is a divine arrangement to comfort each other.”

Psyche felt tears welling up at those words.

“How can someone who has never been hurt understand someone who is hurting?”

She couldn’t forgive all of Clint’s actions.

But…

She began to feel pity for him.

The years he spent pretending to be strong were etched into him like marks carved into stone.

“People who share the same pain understand that pain best.”

-Bang!

At that moment, the door to Psyche’s bedroom burst open with a loud noise.

An alarmed Alejandroentered, shouting.

“Du-Duchess! The Duke!”

“What…?”

“The Duke!”

He was frantic.