Chapter 25: And then I became a scam artist
{3 days later, once the news spread like wildfire}
[The sudden calm, unvisited town is booming with tourism as the believers of the world religion seek help from a "supposed saint."}
{Unbelievable?! - 片山修志}
"Sigh," Why did I do this to myself?! Why couldn't I just stay quiet and not be reactive?! If my skills work the way the description says, why didn't I gain the "patience" virtue so I wouldn't have to be in this mess? Aw! Come on, give me a break. I already blew my cover off, and I don't like it.
Yes, I appreciate that people see me as necessary and all, but I'm no saint! I don't even know the gods of this world in their entirety! I Barely understand this world voice cult thing! Please believe me! ahhh! I internally cry out for help as Bartholomew exploits me for his own gain.
Oh, did I forget to mention it? I've been the breadwinner for three days! My adoptive father saw a lucrative business idea, and he took it! I wasn't even considered as they set up a venue just for me and the followers of the world religion.
I understand it's a huge business opportunity, but it feels wrong to sell my "blessings" out to people like come on, you guys! What will I do if something like an absolute demon or a genuinely evil person shows up to challenge me uh? Who's gonna be there to protect me?
"Yoimiya, your break is over. Come back here!" Vera screams at me while I try to ignore her with a cute pout expression. I wasn't too happy with them, so let me have my little tantrum! OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!
Yeah, yeah, soon enough, Barth "asks me nicely" to move on (He pinched my ear.) So naturally, I do as I'm told once again and walk out to the public stand to hear people's pleas for cash! I'm a dirty scammer! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! The money we get will help us live more comfortably. Please forgive my sins!
"Please, great witch saint of the lake! Heal my kid's bad attitude! He's too rowdy! Please expel the demon from him!" A lady said right away, and I got caught off guard, so I just stood there silently for a while. Did she want me to fake an exorcism!?
{Whisper} "Just fake an exorcism! You got this!" Vera whispers behind me as she pushes me toward the little boy who looks around age ten.
I'd already faked some exorcisms, so I knew what to do, but was it right to keep scamming these good-natured people?! I thought that until I heard how much the lady would pay me for it. "Three gold coins! Please! Take all I have! Cleanse my son's evil spirits!"
"Purification! {Whispering} Appraisal." And just like that, I extended my hand toward the kid to appraise him while masking the sound with a loud scream, saying, "Purification." In actuality, I'm just appraising people, but because that skill covers my target in white light, it fools most people... I'm going straight to hell once I die.
If my real father saw me doing this, he would've already schooled me, saying this is immoral and that scammers have a special place in hell, but I've come up with a clever excuse. I mean, think about it in another light, right? Technically speaking, I do have the "Holy" Title, so I mean, I'm technically a saint...
I do hope nothing wrong comes from this thought, but I know far too well that with my shiny luck, something will eventually end up biting me in the butt with this little show thing. I just know something that completely changes the dim light over me will happen!
"Oh! Amazing! He's glowing!" "Yeah, look! She can use the purification spell of the gods!" "Amazing, a true angel!" "She's also good-looking!" Hey there, pall, hold your horses. I'm not even 10 yet.
The "exorcism" soon turns weird when a dark aura manifests within the boy, making him extremely grim and dark while I back up a little. The kid's breathing soon changes to that of an animal, deepening, and the crowd stupidly gets closer to him while he transforms into a real demon!
"You! ARE A FAKE! I WILL INAHILATE YOU!" The boy says while slowly but surely transforming into something else.
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! OH SHIT! What do I do!? WHAT DO I DO?! Soon, my mind reminded me of an old tale of werewolves and how one of the critics suggested smacking the transforming werewolves hard enough to knock them out before they entirely transformed, so I chose to do that.
"Dark magic! Covered in darkness! Holy SMACK!" I used my "Holy Smack." Which is just a regular punch straight into the gut without holding back. The critical thing is that the enemy I do this to must be at least five times weaker than me, which, for my grace, this possessed kid was because my smack completely knocks the wind and the demon out of him.
"AUUUUGGHH!!!!!" The boy lets out his last scream before falling cold against the ground, with the crowd behind him cheering with happiness. My left eye twitches slightly as I watch in disbelief how everyone cheers me on like I didn't just knock a poor little kid out!
To be fair, he has some kind of demon inside of him, but still, he will hate me if he remembers about it later on, that's for sure! Or maybe he won't since the mother is also cheering in the crowd, and here I thought she would be mad at me for knocking his baby out.
Not only did she cheer for me, but she also paid me just to kick the shit out of his kid; that just didn't feel right in the slightest! I should be paying her for the damages, not her to me! AHHH! This feels so damn wrong. I don't wanna do it anymore!