So I’m a Fish, So What?

“Wow! There are so many people and carriages everywhere! Hey mister, are those enormous stone fences the city walls grandpa spoke highly about?! Those huge moving iron bars should be the gates then, right?! They look very intimidating, yet make me feel safe at the same time… It’s weird! But grandpa said only cities have very high walls and gates while towns have lower walls… Did I miss something in his description?” A loud flurry of exclamations and questions escaped my lips, and my expression morphed into one of pure, childish excitement as the caravan neared the magnificent, grand medieval city.

A few days after I passed the interview and got hired as a part-time escort for a heavyweight merchant’s caravan, I finally made it to my first ever city in this world!

The faraway noises gradually turned into a loud cacophony of sounds I’d only ever heard in movies and anime before.

Ordinary commoners, merchants, adventurers, mercenaries, and even a few nobles could be seen going about their days as usual.

My body noticeably trembled as an overwhelming wave of nostalgia washed over me. Unknowingly, it has already been such a long time since I last experienced the liveliness unique to large gatherings of humans.

But most importantly… The scents wafting off of the snacks and drinks placed on some of those stalls were just divine!

Because of the immense diversity of flora and fauna, there’s still a butt load of amazing recipes out there even if it’s still the equivalent of the Black Gold era!

Just thinking about trying all of them out and finally being able to cook all sorts of different seafood dishes using my spatial stash has got me drooling literal waterfalls…! Huhuhu~

But, maaan. This scene really cements the fact that I’ve reincarnated in a fantasy world, huh?!

And before you start jabbering about everything that happened until now and my ridiculous status, let me actually explain what I mean.

Even if I’m far from being one right now, I have lived as an ordinary–as much as possible anyways–human in a modern era up until very recently.

The last few months consisted of me just killing stuff, eating that stuff, sleeping naked underwater, and a few exciting events from time to time.

Y’know, it’s as if I was on a long vacation, pursuing some of that adrenaline by trying out every single extreme sport out there.

There’s always that subconscious thought in the back of my head: You’re just playing around for a few days. As long as you go back home and rest for a few days, you’ll be back to your regular routine in no time!

However, the impact of seeing a walled city, medieval carriages, and cobblestone roads when I arrived at my first city crushed that thought to bits!

It’s like I was totally out of touch with reality all this time, but now I finally feel like I’m a part of this world…

A chuckle came from right beside me, most likely expressing amusement at my current state, Nonetheless, I did my best to ignore it.

However, what happened next made it kinda impossible to continue doing so.

“Now now, careful not t’bump into anyone by mistake, Missy. ‘Tis the first time ya visited a town, isn’t it? I can take ya on a lil’ tour later if I’m still in town.” A loud gruff voice shook me out of my stunned reverie.

Turning towards the source, I find Barb looking at me with an inexplicable fatherly expression on his face. Hidden behind him, I catch sight of Vernon giving me a warm smile.

…Hey, you two! I might’ve lied and said I’m twelve, and I might look like I’m at most nine, but I’m undoubtedly a full-grown psychopathic adult, ‘kay?!

I can perform the city becoming a graveyard in the blink of an eye tadaaa! Magic trick for you right now if you don’t believe me, all right?!

Tch. The only people who can direct such an expression towards me are my parents and Theo, anyone else gets a death sentence.

But since I was brought up to be a good girl, I obviously know very well how to repay my debts no matter how petty they are. 

Even if I didn’t actually need your help for that, you still brought me to the nearest city and helped me forge a connection with a great person like the caravan leader. 

I believe letting you live is more than enough to offset that…. So stop looking with such weird expressions already!! Or… I’ll physically make you!!

Sigh… Well, at least my disguise appears to be working perfectly. Else they wouldn’t be carefreely accompanying me around like this.

“Hmmm. That’d be great, but I wanna take a week to explore the city on my own first. It’s not everyday that I get the chance to experience one of grandpa’s stories first hand, after all.” Masking my irritation, I come up with a very childish but reasonable excuse to reject him. “If everyone is still here by then, I’ll make sure you live up to your offer!” Before he could say anything else, I forcibly ended the subject, adding a bit of fake reluctance to my excited expression.

Barb looked like he still wanted to say something, but Vernon placed a hand on his shoulder while taciturnly shaking his head, indicating he should let go.

“Ye-yeah, I know.” Barb sighed. “T’seems I’ve gotten a tad too attached to ‘er on our way ‘ere, that’s all.” He said, his face drooping a bit.

Vernon just patted him on the face, and turned to ruffle my hair with an encouraging look in his eyes before taking a few steps ahead of us.

“As reliable as ever.” Chuckling, Barb’s gaze lingered on Vernon as he continued. “Would’ve let ‘im take m’place if he used his mouth just a little bit more, but ‘tis what it is.” He grumbled to himself.

“That’s what makes Mister Vernon who he is though, isn’t it? And you put him in the vice-captain position anyways, didn’t you Mister Kaslan? I only ever had my grandpa to look up to, but I still think you two work great together!” I reassured him, raising both hands to give him a thumbs up.

“...Yeah, guess y’er right ‘bout that. Nah, y’er definitely right. A speaking Vernon ’ill probably be more scary than assertive.” He affirmed, snickering at the thought.

“Mhmmm. Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps, ehehe~” I quipped, a grossed out expression involuntarily appearing on my face. “Mister Vernon is great as he is anyways.” I added in case the man in question was actually listening.

Reaching the gate, I discovered a terrifyingly long line of humans waiting for their turn to get in the city.

A cursory tally let me know that there are at least a hundred freaking humans lined up in front of that gate.

I couldn’t even keep up my childish act after seeing it, causing a very irritated expression to appear on my face.

“Are there any other gates we can pass through…?” I pleaded, my body slumping down.

Genuine surprise appeared on Barb’s face for a moment, but an understanding smirk replaced it almost instantly.

“Heh-haha! Guess a child ‘ould rather eat their greenies rather than waiting in long lines, aye?” He teased me. “‘Tis just the south gate, missy. There’s one in each cardinal direction. We don’ need t’go anywhere else though, we’ll be takin’ the VIP gate reserved for nobles and distinguished merchants.” He explained while patting my head.

As if hearing his words, the foremost carriage ignored the long line and headed towards a small gate to the side.

I glimpsed the caravan leader, Mr Ellois Hafton, walking towards me from the corners of my eyes.

He was apparently the second son of some Earl or something like that. 

As far as I learned from animes, movies, and novels, first sons usually inherit their parents’ positions and fiefs while second sons aim to become important officials.

As for third sons and anything after that, they either enlist in the army or leave their family to pursue their own careers.

So the fact that he gave up pursuing such a lofty position and pursued a merchant career instead even though he’s the second son of a high-ranking noble came as a surprise for me.

However, there seems to be a hidden story behind him, and his current status is actually not lower than that of most officials and even novels. 

And judging by the fact that he’s reached this position in his late thirties, his achievements in the trade must’ve been truly phenomenal.

He’s practically the golden child who shines wherever he is placed… Just like me! Wahahaha!

“We’ll be making a temporary stop at this city before continuing along our planned route, Miss Letisia. I’m afraid the most I could help with is skipping the commoner’s line. Regrettable, I can do nothing about criminal inspection since you don’t have any form of identification on you, but I’m certain it won’t pose a problem for you anyways.” He said, his usual amiable smile decorating his face.

Honestly, this guy’s personality has overturned every single preconception I had about aristocrats. He’s the first native of this world to really earn my respect.

He treats everyone with utmost politeness and respect no matter their status or even race. I mean, just look at how he treats me, who can be considered nothing more than a homeless commoner child right now.

What’s more unbelievable is that he’s not even faking it!

My emotion sensor was always locked on him during the journey, but never once did I detect an ounce of disdain, malice, or dissatisfaction towards anyone… not even the monsters who attacked his carriage!

…The same can’t be said about the other merchants though… I already confirmed the one’s responsible for the child’s case, but now’s not the time to think about it.

Thankfully, this let me affirm my previous suspicions about the Half-Demon child’s enslavement actually being an individual act rather than a collective one.

I’m totally fine with killing a hundred innocent by mistake rather than letting one guilty escape, but there’s no need for that if I could discern the guilty in the first place.

So my plans changed from slaughtering everyone to keeping a close eye on the culprits and executing them while saving the girl right after they leave this city.

“Ahhh, there’s no problem with that, Mister Ellois.” I hastily replied, raising my hands to stop him while shaking my head. “You’ve already done more than enough for an unknown person like me. There’s no way I could ask for more. I don’t wanna be like those greedy people grandpa talked about.” I said, giving him a slight bow to express my gratitude.

“Indeed, hohoho!” Ellois laughed, apparently amused by words. “Your grandfather must’ve been a great man if he was able to raise such a fine lady like yourself, Miss Letisia.” He smiled in admiration.

“...He really was.” Stumped, I paused for a moment before responding with pride evident in my voice.

Though the whole grandpa thing is a lie, I couldn’t help but recall the legendary story of how my grandpa got married to my grandma back on Earth.

Even if I never met him, I won’t hesitate to accept such praise since I know for sure that he was worthy of it.

Walking up to the gate guards, I waited for both the merchants and escorts to pass through first before I directly approached one of them.

“You’re Miss Letisia, correct? Lord Ellois has already informed us of your situation and paid your entrance fee. Now if you please, place your hands on this gem and answer my questions.” The middle-aged guard treated me with a lot of respect for some reason.

What the hell did Ellois tell him…? Well, whatever. It’s not like I’m getting any special treatment from him, it’s just respectful speech.

As for Mr Ellios paying the fees, that was actually my salary for the few days I worked as an escort. I just asked him to help me enter the city, which obviously included the entrance fees.

“Ah, yes!” I complied, quickly placing my hands on the gem, which started glowing white in turn.

Wait, what? Why does this magic tool have a Heretic Magic spell enchanted onto it…? By the way, record this spell, Manager-san.

{Notice. Already recorded.}

Way to go, partner! I feel like you’re becoming smarter by the day!

Anyways, I thought the humans in this world take the ‘Heretic’ part of the name very seriously, do they not?

“Hey Mister, what is this magic tool called?” Unable to restrain my curiosity, I voiced my doubts to the guard.

“I believe its creators named it a ‘lie detector’, though most ordinary folks just regard it as an inspection stone. The Word of God church distributes similar ones to every single country where its religion is appointed as the state religion.” He answered while flipping through some papers.

Hooh? Could there be a remnant from the ancient era amongst the church’s top officials?

…The chances are fairly high, come to think of it.

There are long-lived monsters like Taratects and Dragons everywhere. Even the elf chief has some technological weapons from all the way back then, so there’s no reason why there shouldn’t be someone similar among humans as well, right?

Otherwise humans would have probably gone extinct a long time ago.

“Please answer with yes or no only, Miss.” My thoughts were cut short by the guard’s surprisingly serious voice. “Have you ever committed thievery?”

“No.” The gem glowed green.

“Have you ever committed arson or treason?”

“No.” It glowed green again.

“Have you ever participated in any murder, whether it’s directly or indirectly, or covered for a murder?”

“No.” Another green.

“Last question. Are you wanted anywhere in the human lands?”

“I am not.” Still green.

Well, I believe I understand how this thing works, but it’s absolutely useless to me.

Not only can I manipulate the results with Sage, but I can also mask the truth of what I say using Mischief.

But I think it’s definitely helped them cut the crime rates by a large margin, granted they need someone to draft better questions for the inspection.

“All right, miss. You’re all clear!” Nodding appreciatively, the middle-aged guard wrote a few words on a piece of paper before handing it to me along with a sealed letter. “This paper is proof that you passed the inspection stone’s test, you’ll need to present it to whatever establishment you wish to issue your identification in, and I was asked to hand you this letter by Lord Ellois.”

“Thank you! Can I get the directions for the adventurer’s guild, by the way?” I was curious about the letter but I believe I’ve wasted enough time dallying around for today.

“Just follow the main road and you’ll reach the city square, all the guild buildings are there. And welcome to 69 city, Miss Letisia! I hope our city lives up to your expectations.” He chuckled while giving me a wink.

“I hope so as–” I was only a few words in before I did a rather comedic double take. “...Excuse me, what did you say the city’s name is again?” I hesitantly asked, doubting my skill and stat enhanced ears for the first time.

“Huh? It’s called 69 city, Miss.” He repeated. “I believe it was named like that due to a double eclipse that occurred on the day its construction was finished. They say the two moons involved in it looked like the writing digits 69, so the newly instated mayor thought it a great idea to use that as a name.” He further clarified upon seeing my confused expression.

…….Oh.

Oooooohhhh, I get it!

That little problem escaped my mind.

Hey, Manager-san, please switch my main language module to this world’s human language and show me what their digits look like.

{Affirmative. Switching in progress… Complete.}

{Request language change for W system interface?}

Ahh, sure. Do that as well.

{Affirmative. Sending a direct request to Upper Administrator D…Success. Awaiting reply.}

Let’s see…. Aha!

It’s exactly like I thought. The digits in their world are represented by a series of arcs and dots which were probably inspired by the phases of their moons.

So instead of a 6 and a 9, they have an C and a mirrored C to represent those two numbers respectively.

Also, the pronunciation is very different from any language back on Earth.

I know I shouldn’t blame him since it was a misunderstanding, but… who the fuck names their city after a freaking number, dude?! Do you think you're naming some remote planet in a sci-fi interstellar empire or something?!

I almost broke my disguise in front of the cool guard dude, bastard! If your soul’s still lingering around here somewhere, I’ll definitely grab it and push a few spikes under your toenails!!

Sheesh… Outrageous, man.

Maybe the land is actually scarier than the ocean…? Or is it that this entire world is scary? At least, I hope not.

Shaking my head, I finally start making my way towards the adventurer’s guild, but not before I leave one last .

“That sounds very cool, Mister Guard! Don’t worry, I’m sure this city and its inhabitants must be very… nice.”

Sorry, I just couldn’t stop myself. 

I mean, it was a foregone conclusion the moment he said an entire freaking city is named ‘69’.

Both my gamer and internet junkie sides were awakened from their months’ long slumber, and they instantly pounced on the chance just like starved beasts.

The thought that this middle-aged guard dude will never realize that a loli goddess equated his beloved birth city’s name with a sex position in her cute little head sends shivers down my spine.

…Shivers of absolute, twisted pleasure, that is.

Wait, am I actually a bad girl now…?

 

{Proficiency has reached the required level. Skill [Demon Lord LV 5] has become [Demon Lord LV 6].}

 

It appears I am.

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