Slime Sweets and Dungeon Treats - A Cozy LitRPG

The Dungeon of Eternal Embers' Point of View

The Dungeon's mission was clear: keep everyone busy and keep them advancing to the last floor.

It had been fun at first, setting traps for adventurers to fall into, changing the layout of the floors, and hiding treasure chests in the weirdest places. Watching it all play out from the embers in the walls was pretty awesome, but after a few centuries, the Dungeon's mind was practically on autopilot.

Nothing interested it anymore. Not the battles between adventurers and minotaurs, not the monsters swimming in lava pools, and especially not the constant starting over. It just wanted to see something new. Something exciting.

New and exciting wasn't the point of this dungeon though. The point was to give adventurers and monsters a place to improve themselves by leveling up.

The Dungeon was just so tired of it though. Maybe it was time for another Dungeon Core to take over. Its flames were already burning low, practically an ember itself. If it let things continue as they were, it would disappear and no longer be bored.

An energetic satyr bounded into the Core Chamber. He was one of the Dave's, but the Dungeon wasn't sure which one.

"My lord," Dave said through wheezes, "something's happened."

Oh? Had the Dungeon's wish for something new and interesting finally come to pass?

Dave took a minute to catch his breath. "The woman you gave the culinary mage class to has been....baking."

A culinary mage class? Hmmmm...the Dungeon vaguely remembered doing that, but it felt like a while ago. Time blended together after a few years running the dungeon. That woman was interesting though and it had kept in touch with her through system messages occasionally. To think she'd chosen a sandwich instead of a sword or a bow.

But that was probably not why Dave was here looking like he was having a meltdown. Why was baking such a problem? Humans did it all the time, so it was nothing new.

The Dungeon relayed that to Dave through the ember shard in his head, but the satyr just sighed.

"It's not the baking that's the problem, it's what she's doing with it." He stared at the core's flames, at the embers burning brightly inside them, and lowered his voice. "She lured the slime boss on floor four away with cookies. With cookies!"

That last part was followed by a lot of mumbling and moaning as the Dungeon shifted its attention to the fourth floor. Sure enough, it was empty. Nothing was guarding the door to the safe zone. It was just wide open for any adventurer to stroll through.

If the Dungeon could laugh, it would have.

It had never eaten food before, but these things called cookies must be very tasty to have swayed such a dedicated monster. The Dungeon had a sudden urge to try one.

"Why did you even make a culinary mage class of all things?" Dave moaned, then froze. "Sorry, my lord. I didn't mean to question your vast wisdom."

The Dungeon did not mind and it relayed that to Dave, who smiled gratefully.

Honestly, that decision had been a little impulsive. But that's what happened when somebody got too bored. Plus, all the mortal textbooks in its memory bank indicated that chefs were the closest thing to using sandwiches as weapons and mages had the most diversity in skills. Hence culinary mage just made the most sense.

Or at least, that's what the Dungeon had convinced itself of, but maybe it had just wanted to see what would happen.

"So, about the slime boss," Dave continued slowly. "What should we do? She's taking it to the safe zone. Her title was even upgraded to Slime Guardian!"

Dave frowned at that, but the Dungeon hadn't had anything to do with it. Once a title was given, it upgraded on its own, same as the skills.

Okay, so the Dungeon had given the original title, but that was besides the point.

What should they do now?

Its flames grew brighter as the Dungeon considered all the possibilities. It could assign a new slime boss, but that would still mean the other one was in a safe zone, which threw off the balance entirely. It could force the original slime boss to return, but then the culinary mage would probably follow it trying to save it, which would also throw off the balance.

How could this be solved without interfering in the adventurer's path too much?

By giving her another choice!

Keep the slime boss, but leave the safe zone, or send the boss back and keep herself safe.

Except, if she actually chose the slime boss, she'd be in a tough spot all alone on a dangerous floor that she was far too low level for. The Dungeon wasn't that cruel. If she chose that route, it would reward her.

But what would such an adventurer want? It browsed through ember memories until it happened upon a conversation about a cafe.

Ah, it could make one of those for her. The Dungeon could add it as a mystical place that had been abandoned, but nobody remembered why. With enough dust and weathering, it would look aged, like it had been there the whole time. Plus, it would keep the culinary mage busy fixing everything up.

Since she liked slimes, the Dungeon could move some to the cafe's floor for her to see what else she could do with that Slime Guardian title. Maybe grow some tea nearby so she had something easy to serve customers starting out. Hmmm...the cafe would need a lot of room to expand too in case she gathered a whole slime army.

Maybe it should use an ember shard to stay connected to the cafe better? The building could be like a miniature dungeon, capable of changing shape and size to suit her needs. Yes, that would be interesting for sure. Like a little game between the two of them.

Now, would she prefer a modern design or an old one? Two levels or just one? It should definitely have a big garden out back, maybe overgrown with a bit of a surprise inside...

Excitement coursed through the Dungeon's embers for the first time in ages. This was exactly the kind of thing it had been looking for.

Dave stepped back as the core's flames shot up high. "Ummm, my lord? Is everything okay?"

Everything was more than okay. New thoughts and plans raced through the Dungeon like wildfire.

But what if she didn't choose to stay with the boss slime? What if she chose to send it back?

The core's flames died down a bit. If she chose that, then she wouldn't be worthy of such a wonderful gift in the first place. She'd have to be tested.

The Dungeon relayed its plans to Dave, ordering the satyr to go to the safe zone and test the culinary mage. If she chose to keep the slime with her, Dave was to let her know about the cafe and tell her she could use it. But only if the adventurer refused to leave the slime.

Dave scratched at the base of his horns. "But my lord, I'm supposed to be welcoming newcomers. The meadow already has two new sleepers just from the time I've been here."

The Dungeon mentally sighed before contacting the fifth floor Dave and relaying all its instructions. That Dave had the same response this one did, full of lots of moans and anxious words. It was tiring.

The Daves were always so dedicated, but they liked things done a certain way. Unexpected things made them panic, especially when one thing snowballed into two or three. That kind of situation was like a nightmare for the Daves.

Had the Dungeon programmed them that way on purpose? It couldn't remember, and honestly, it no longer cared.

Because right now, it had a cafe to design.

Dave started to take off, but the Dungeon called him back, remembering one last thing. She was only a level 3 and would be on floor 6, so she'd need an easy way to move between that floor and the safe zone.

It shaped one of the coals used to fuel its flames into a special key, one that would allow her to enter the cafe from anywhere. A safety precaution and a way to always give her a place to go should she need it. The Dungeon was probably doting on her a bit too much, but it was happy to do so.

The Dungeon of Eternal Embers was not supposed to be an easy dungeon to get through though, so maybe the key should only work once every 24 hours. To keep things fair.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Dave asked. "You're spending a lot of time on one adventurer. Is she really worth it?"

The Dungeon paused for a moment to think about that. Something about this woman called to it, needling its mind like she was an important piece to some puzzle it had been working on. Only time would tell if the Dungeon was right about her or not.

For now, it put the finishing touches on the key for her new cafe and sent it soaring through the air to Dave.

Then the Dungeon continued designing the rest of the cafe, its flames crackling brightly.