Sincerely, Vanessa

***

To the teacher,

The spring flowers are starting to bloom little by little. The bluebells at this time of year are so beautiful that I never get tired of looking at them all day long.

If I start my letter with a story about the beautiful bluebells, and then it turns into something depressing, would you feel betrayed? I just hope my sudden change in emotions doesn’t wear you out.

Teacher, I really feel like I don’t know so many things. Does everyone go through this process?

Yesterday, Lina got great results on a pop quiz and said she’d treat me to dinner. I thought we’d just go to a nice café, but Lina suddenly took me to a nearby upscale restaurant.

I sat down trying to act casual, but when the menu was opened, I was so flustered that I blinked several times.

There wasn’t a single dish I recognized on the menu.

There were no descriptions of the ingredients either, so I couldn’t muster the courage to choose anything. The only thing I could recognize was “today’s soup.”

If I had asked, Lina would have answered kindly, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I felt like a country mouse who had wandered into a fancy place.

In the end, I chose the soup and freshly squeezed juice. Actually, those were the only things I could choose.

When Lina asked if I was feeling okay, I just nodded silently, and she became so worried.

I might have ruined Lina’s good mood because of me. We barely finished the meal and went back to the dorm.

It’s never been embarrassing for me to admit I don’t know something, so why did I feel that way? Is it because I’m vain?

That’s not it. What about math?

Stupid math! Stupid coordinate systems!

Math is essential for constructing magic circles and circuits, and calculating ranges, but I really lack the application skills.

But who could have taught me functions? I only tried to understand them by reading books on my own.

The books that came to the orphanage or the local library only had very simple problems, so I didn’t know about these complex application formulas.

Being the worst isn’t embarrassing, but I’m afraid the teacher might feel ashamed of sponsoring me.

Is this letter too depressing? But I have no one else to tell this to. I’m sorry, teacher.

However, my only strength is that I always get back up the next day.

We’ll become like friends, I’m sure.

By the way, I borrowed a book from the library called Various Cuisines of the World. And I spend every night with the third-order functions.

Though I feel down, it’ll get better soon,

Vanessa Rose

***

Vanessa headed toward her dorm, the Moon Wall, just before the library closed. The weather had warmed up, and it was cool even without her school jacket.

Vanessa walked along the path between the grass, repeating the same regrets she had been feeling for the past few days. The yellow lights floating in the air looked playful, almost as if they were teasing her.

I shouldn’t have sent that letter to the teacher.

Why did I send such a whiny letter when the teacher isn’t even my family? All I did was highlight my shortcomings, making me seem like an unworthy beneficiary.

If I had just held on a little longer, I could have suppressed those emotions, so why couldn’t I endure it!

It seemed that the lack of a reply from the teacher was all my fault.

Vanessa let out a small sigh as she arrived at the first floor of the Moon Wall dormitory and began rummaging through her bag to find her keys.

At that moment, the dormitory attendant, wearing yellow star-shaped glasses, called out to her in a sharp voice.

“Vanessa Rose?”

“Ah, yes. Sorry, I’m a little late. I’ll make sure to come before twelve next time.”

“That’s true, but that’s not the reason I’m calling you.”

The attendant retrieved a fairly large box from a shelf above and handed it to Vanessa.

“A package has arrived for you. Now go up. Next time, I won’t even give you one minute of grace, so remember that!”

Vanessa, still confused, fumbled with the package and went up to the fourth floor. Where could it have come from?

Unable to turn the key due to the heavy package, Vanessa was helped by Lina, who opened the door for her upon hearing her struggle.

“What’s this, Vanessa? Why do you have so much stuff?”

Lina took a portion of the stack of books and carried it inside. Vanessa, still not having changed out of her uniform, immediately began tearing off the dark blue wrapping paper.

“A gift?”

Lina asked with curious eyes as she sat beside her.

“I don’t know.”

Vanessa unwrapped the package and, only then, noticed the writing on the plain box with no patterns.

“To Vanessa Rose.”

Slowly, she rubbed the ink where it had bled. It was obvious that this package was from her teacher.

Vanessa cautiously opened the box.

“Wow!”

Lina cheered in excitement instead. Vanessa was so surprised that she forgot to speak.

Under the soft lighting in the dorm room, a pair of bright blue shoes wrapped in glossy fabric appeared.

“They’re so beautiful. Wow, this is really! Vanessa, try them on!”

Entranced, Vanessa picked up the shoes and found a small note beneath them.

“A good pair of shoes leads their owner to good places, so I hope tomorrow is filled with joyful events.”

Vanessa liked the note even more than the shoes. The teacher’s kind wish for her to have good things happen made her feel warm.

The slightly crumpled note was a bit disappointing, so she placed it between thick books to smooth it out.

As soon as she put her toes into the shoes, Lina clapped her hands in excitement.

“They’re just for you. Shoes made for you from the moment you were born.”

The shoes fit perfectly, as though they were made for her. There was no discomfort anywhere, and the heels were sturdy yet lightweight, making it feel like walking on clouds.

With flushed cheeks, Vanessa sat in a chair and raised her legs to admire the shoes in the light. The bright blue shoes were beautiful from every angle.

After some time, when Vanessa was still staring at the shoes in a daze, Lina finally took them off her and pushed her into the bathroom.

Vanessa placed the blue shoes on the bedside table. She surely had pleasant dreams that night.

⚜ ⚜ ⚜

To my teacher,

As you know, there’s rarely an occasion to receive packages in an orphanage.

So, I’ve only received packages twice in my life. Both were sent by you.

The first one contained various colors of ink, pens that wouldn’t hurt my hands, and high-quality notebooks.

I was overjoyed. A package just for me—it felt like something out of a dream.

But the second one was shoes, and that’s just unbelievable!

These shoes are the most beautiful I’ve ever seen in my life. Lina said that the bright blue color looked exactly like my eyes. They’re neat, yet so elegant. They’re not just shoes; they’re a work of art.

I’m worried that they might be incredibly expensive. They’re not, right? Please tell me they’re not, teacher.

Actually, I’ve been going through a painful period of confusion for some time. I’m sorry if that feeling came through in my letter. It wasn’t just about my vanity or the problems with math.

I don’t doubt you, but I just feel like I have no magical talent. I’ve been crying into my pillow every night.

You probably know why I haven’t talked much about magic lately.

Where has the light that should have illuminated the darkness like fireflies gone? No magic has manifested around me.

Fortunately, the professors didn’t seem to pay much attention.

Apparently, most students don’t even know how they cast magic until graduation. There are many mages who’ve only cast one spell in their entire lives.

You might already know this, but today, pretend you don’t and take a look at my notes from the last lesson!

Incantation Magic

-Innate talent, established formula

If it’s not incantation magic:

-Innate talent, activation condition met

What are activation conditions?

→ External conditions (situations, actions)

Situation: A rainbow-filled sky, the August sun

Action: Clapping hands, kicking

→ Internal conditions

One’s mindset, etc.

I’ve organized it pretty neatly, haven’t I? I’m very good at taking notes.

Anyway, isn’t this fascinating? The activation conditions for magic are different for everyone!

The next example was even more interesting.

“One of your seniors had a special activation condition. They had to get their feet wet, spin around three times, and then the magic would activate. They figured it out when they almost slipped in the rain.”

There’s another example. This one was amazing too.

“One student could only activate magic through a sword. But it wasn’t just any sword. They could only cast magic with a sword made of Eldarsan steel.”

At this point, I’m sure you can imagine how deflated we all felt in class. Why do the conditions have to be so complicated?

“But that student didn’t realize this until much later. Before that, they were already able to perform powerful feats with the sword, even without magic.”

When the professor saw that we were all listening intently, Professor Aper smiled gently.

“Don’t put magic as your top priority. Be careful, so that when the magic fades away, you don’t become just an empty shell.”

Vanessa Rose
April 7, 1309, Edirnere Year

To Professor,

Your words were very moving. The sentence about becoming a person of value, whether one has magical power or not, really struck me.

I think it would be harder to become a person of value than to realize magical power, don’t you think?

But, what can I do? Lights that illuminate the darkness keep rising.

I want to be a person of value, but I also want to feel the magic again.

Hmm, somehow, the letter I intended to write as a thank you for the shoes has gone in an unexpected direction. Why am I suddenly lamenting like this?

Anyway, I truly thank you, Professor.

It’s not just the gift, but also your thoughtfulness and your wish for good things to come my way.

I send my thanks for that kind heart.

With all my heart,
Vanessa Rose

P.S. The title of the beautiful drawing on the envelope is Vanessa, Joyfully Wearing Blue Shoes. Do you think I drew it well?

***

To Vanessa Rose
April 15, 1309, Edirnere Year

Dear Miss Rose,

I would appreciate it if you could think of me as something like a journal you can talk to. Feel free to share both happy and sad stories.

You are not lacking, Miss Rose. There is just a lot you haven’t experienced yet. If there’s something you don’t know, you can learn it.

It may be a little disappointing if my protégée doesn’t make an effort, but you seem to be staying up late working harder than anyone else.

It’s good to work hard, but please don’t let it harm your health.

I’m glad if the package has provided you with some comfort. I chose the blue shoes because the color was striking, but I hope they fit well and are comfortable.

I always read letters as soon as they arrive, but recently I’ve been busy, so it’s hard to reply. I hope you don’t mind if my replies are delayed.

Also, I think it would be good for you to learn some drawing at the academy. The picture I’ve seen is quite different from what I imagined.

How about taking a general arts class?

From your Professor

***

To Professor
April 15, 1309, Edirnere Year

Dear Professor,

Are you saying you know my face? You’ve seen my face?

Come to think of it, you did say I was your first protégé whom you chose in person. You must have seen me use magic!

But I’ve never seen you, nor do I know anything about you! This is “unreasonable.” I saw a friend elegantly use the word ‘unreasonable’ once, so I tried using it too.

I try to use refined vocabulary in my letters, but sometimes those words feel a bit awkward to me. There’s still so much to learn in everyday life.

By the way, the homework is just too much! The professors give me more homework to make up for my lack of learning.

I’ll send you a longer letter next time. For now, I must quickly finish my math and literature assignments.

Professor Elliott is really too much. How can I write from the perspective of a well-bred noble daughter like I was raised?

Buried under a pile of homework,

Vanessa Rose