Shinobi:The RPG

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"…so that's how I screwed up my teammate trying to apologize to me," I summed up, taking a slurp of the ramen noodles from my sticks.

"Are your teammates just not good at listening or something?" Naruto asked over his bowl of Miso.

"I think it has to do with my tone of voice," I replied, stirring the noodles. "I sound mad without meaning too, I guess."

Naruto huffed with an indignant expression. "You'd think they'd have figured it out by now. Always take what you say at face value."

"Thanks Naruto," I smiled, raising my cup filled with water to him. "You always know what to say."

I had come to Ichiraku for the express purpose of finding Naruto. I didn't know how to talk to people. He did. So I needed…if not advice, then at least some companionship. My teammates, well intentioned though they may be, keep misunderstanding me and in the case of Nichiren, seeing way more than I was comfortable with.

"No problem," Naruto smiled, inhaling another chopsticks-full of noodles. "So, what was it about the dinner party?"

"It was last night," I continued. "I got a nice suit, gave myself a social bonus…with a jutsu..."

"What kind of jutsu?" Naruto looked at me.

"It's like a supped up version of the Henge," I explained with a frown. "It makes me look better and messes with my brain so I don't put my foot in my mouth so much."

"Woah," Naruto blinked. "I didn't know jutsu could…wait, you've been messing with your brain?"

"Sensei told me not to use the jutsu anymore," I replied. "And I don't really want to do it either."

"Okay good," Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. "I mean, it sounds cool, but messing with your brain's gotta be dangerous. No offense."

"None taken," I replied, taking another stick-full of noodles into my mouth.

"Okay, so you were saying?" Naruto asked. "The party?"

"So, it went well enough," I shrugged. "I was kind of wishing…I had parents, afterwards, but you know."

"I hear you," Naruto nodded, stirring his sticks into his freshly refilled bowl.

"Today though, Nichiren…he said that he got in trouble with his folks because they thought he was exaggerating about how bad I was," I continued. "He…made some observations that I'm having a hard time dealing with."

"Like what?" Naruto asked after slurping down a large group of noodles.

"Well, I know I'm bad at talking to people," I said with a frown, looking at the clump of noodles grabbed in my sticks. "If I know I'm bad, and how I'm bad at it, then I should just not…act badly, you know?"

"And you agree with him?" Naruto looked at me with a pensive look on his face.

"I think he's got a good point," I elaborated. The Super-Henge was a lie, anyhow. "I just don't know what to say to that."

"Well, I think he's being really unfair," Naruto replied with a frown. "You have a bloodline, right? It lets you do a lot of awesome things. It just also came with being an uncanny statue-man. It's so bad you still wear that Henge around in public."

"I gotta do what I gotta do," I replied, hunching my shoulders defensively.

"But that's just it," Naruto continued. "You're dealing with it. You're going out of your way to not to be someone people don't mind being around as much. For him to just say that you shouldn't be bad in the first place...makes me really mad."

"So what do I do?" I asked with a frown. "I can't ignore it and I don't want to demolish him. He is a friend of mine."

"Yeah I get it," Naruto sighed. "I don't know what you can say. Just…keep being you. And seriously, no more Super-Henges or whatever it is you did. That's just begging for trouble."

"You got it," I replied with a frown. "How about you? How's the academy?"

"It's going way better since Iruka was able to tutor me," Naruto smiled.

"Does he tutor you on everything you need help with?" I asked with a risen eyebrow.

"…not everything," Naruto said quietly. "He's super busy all the time. He helps me when he can, anyway."

"Anything I can do?" I asked with a frown. Makes sense, Iruka does work the mission desk in addition to teaching the class. Asking him to be a constant tutor would be a lot.

"No, it's okay," Naruto looked at me with a smile. "I'm sure you're really busy too."

"You sure?" I pressed. "You'd be shocked at the amount of free-time I have."

"No, no really," Naruto laughed uneasily. "It's fine, you don't need to do that."

…that's odd. Why doesn't he want help from me? Well, I did just regale him with tales of how I screw up everything when I'm asked to speak, so that might be it. Understandable. "Alright, well…is there anything else that's bugging you?"

Naruto was quiet for a couple second, his smile fading as the gears turned in his head. "There's…this girl."

"Oh yeah?" I said with a smile. "What's her name?"

"Haruno Sakura," Naruto admitted sheepishly. "She's super smart and really pretty. I never saw a girl with pink hair before, but she makes it look good."

"Smart and pretty?" I asked, trying to give the sentence an air of 'hypothetical'. I remember that Naruto had a crush on Sakura from the anime and I was wondering when I'd see it. "Nice. What's the problem?"

"She's in love with the prodigy in our class," Naruto sighed, resting his head in folded arms on the bar-table. "I can't get a date with her no matter how hard I try."

"I wish you luck, my friend," I said with a sad smile. "I can't talk to girls to begin with, so I don't think I can help."

"I know," Naruto sounded just a little irritated. Then he sighed. "It's okay. Nothing wrong if I just keep trying, right?"

"Uhhh…" The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If I can't help him, then someone else has to be able too. I looked around and…saw Ayame ladling some ramen to a customer. That could work. She was old enough to look at Naruto like a younger brother, right? "You're pretty good friends with Ayame, right?"

"Huh?" Naruto looked at me with a confused look on his face.

"Ichiraku Ayame?" I clarified, pointing at her over the counter. "That girl right there?"

"Oh. Yeah!" Naruto nodded. "She's one of my really good friends, sure. Why do you ask?"

"You'll see," I nodded. Then I put my hand to my mouth like half a horn. "Hey, Ayame! Come over here for a second!"

She looked at me, a little concerned. She finished ladling out the ramen and wiped her hands on her apron on her way here. "Yes, Daisuke? You're not getting sick again, are you?"

"Nope," I said. "Naruto here's got a girl he likes and he needs advice."

"Daisuke!" Naruto shouted in alarm. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, that's adorable!" Ayame put both hands together and squealed. "Young puppy love! That's so cute."

"Daisuke," Naruto said in an embarrassed growl.

"I'm helping you," I nodded. Then I looked at Ayame, who had a smile on her face. "I think."

"So tell me about her," She said, still smiling.

"Uhhhh…" Naruto was blushing. "Her names Haruno Sakura. She's really smart and really pretty."

"Ooh," Ayame said. "So, what does she like?"

"I don't really know," Naruto shrugged. "She's never said yes to a date, so I can't find out."

I'm half tempted to leave right now. But Naruto was my oldest friend and I did just sic a teenage girl on him. So, I, no matter how uncomfortable I was right now, was going to stick this through. Even if he tries to kill me at the first opportunity. If it works, he'll be thanking me. Probably.

"It's probably too early to go on dates," Ayame said, looking thoughtful. "You said she's never said yes? Probably should relax and give her some space for a bit."

"But then she'll go out with Sasuke!" Naruto groused.

"Sasuke?" Ayame blinked. "Has she actually gone on a date with him, or is she trying?"

"…just trying," Naruto said. "She really likes him though. Fawns over him constantly. For some reason."

"Oh, then you don't have anything to worry about," Ayame shrugged. "If she's fawning over him constantly and not getting anything back, he's clearly not interested. If anything, that just makes him even less interested."

"Wait, seriously?" Naruto shouted, propping himself up with his arms. "That's awesome!"

"That also means you shouldn't ask her out again for a while," Ayame continued. "That just makes her feel like you don't respect her."

"But I do!" Naruto said, looking affronted.

"I know you do," Ayame placated. "But it's all about what she sees and if you keep asking her out, then she doesn't see you respecting that she said no."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Naruto asked with a frown.

"Give her space for a couple weeks," Ayame replied. "Then ask her to hang out later. Not as a date, be sure to make that clear. Invite a few friends a long just to make it seem more like a get together."

"…okay," Naruto blinked, processing the information. "That's an idea."

"You do have friends besides me, right?" I interjected. "Right?"

"Yeah!" Naruto nodded. "Iruka-sensei, Ayame and the old man!"

"Do you have any friends your own age?" Ayame asked with a mix between hopeful optimism and dread for the answer.

Naruto looked very uncomfortable. "No."

Right. Kyuubi's a problem, isn't he? "Sorry."

"Well," Ayame began with a frown. She pointed to me. "What's wrong with Daisuke?"

"I'm a walking social disaster area," I explained. "It's really for the best that I stay away."

"Which stinks," Naruto grumbled.

"Oh yeah," Ayame nodded with a frown. "I heard your story about the apology. I'm sorry that happened to you."

"Thank you?" I wonder if Naruto's natural charisma is rubbing off on me like a passive aura or something.

"I think she'd like you if she actually spent time with you," Naruto grumbled.

"Yeah but we're trying to find out how to get her to spend time with you," I stated. "We don't need to make a hard task impossible."

"Anyway," Ayame continued with a deep frown on her face. "That's a problem. You might need to give her space for longer, then."

Naruto groaned, slamming his head into the counter. By some miracle, his bowl of ramen was moved to the side and out of the way before he impacted. "She'll be dating that jerk in no time."

"No," Ayame tried to comfort him. "She won't. I promise you that…by the way, do you call the boy she likes a jerk to her face?"

"Yeah," Naruto came back up. "Why wouldn't I? He's a jerk."

Ayame thought for a second. "If a girl you didn't know too well came up to you and insulted Sakura, how would you feel?"

"I'd be pissed off," Naruto shrugged, folding his arms. "I'd shout at her and make her apologize."

"That's how Sakura feels whenever you insult him," Ayame nodded with a pitying smile. "So if you want to date her, you should stop that."

Naruto shouted in frustration, grabbing his face with both of his hands and arching backward in the ultimate expression of frustration. Then he slammed on the bar with a whimper. Then he grumbled something I didn't quite catch.

"Sorry, what?" I asked.

"I said fine, I can go without insulting Sasuke," Naruto grumbled, not looking happy at all.

"Good," Ayame smiled. "You actually have a chance, now."

Naruto kept grumbling, which Ayame, classy lady that she is, ignored said grumbling altogether.

"Now how to get around the 'no other friends' issue," Ayame cupped her chin in thought. "Hmmm…"

"Ayame!" That was her dad calling. "Don't just sit around talking to Naruto, we've got a shop to run!"

"Sorry, Dad!" Ayame jumped. "I'll be right back. Keep thinking about it, alright?"

"Sure," Naruto grumbled.

She ran off to take another customer's order and ask the previous one whose ramen she had been filling earlier if he'd like a refill.

"Daisuke?" Naruto asked quietly.

"Hm?"

"Do I really need to be nice to Sasuke?" Naruto asked with a pathetic frown on his face.

"She didn't say 'be nice to him'," I reminded him. "She said 'stop insulting him when Sakura's around'. That's completely different."

He grumbled before his face lit up. "Hey yeah! You're right, that is completely different."

Still…the no friends issue. Seriously, Naruto can't use me, Sakura would avoid Naruto more because he's associated with me. Uggghhh…It'd be really good for Naruto, too, because she's smart and can help him out when Iruka can't and…

"What're you thinking?" Naruto asked curiously.

"Oh, just thinking how awesome it would be for you to date Sakura," I replied. "You said she was super smart and she might be able to help you in the academy and stuff."

"I hadn't even thought about that," Naruto said with wide eyes. "That'd be awesome!"

"What'd be awesome?" Ayame came back. "We can't keep talking much longer, my dad's getting impatient."

"Just how Sakura's really smart," Naruto nodded. "She'd be able to help me when Iruka can't tutor me."

"Oh," Ayame said. Then her face started to light up. "Oh. Oh! OH! That's it!"

"What's it?" I asked. What was she seeing that I wasn't?

"Ask her to help you with academy assignments," Ayame seemed giddy. "I mean, you'd have to emphasize it's not a date and really play up how much you need help but it's the perfect way to get her to spend time with you!"

"Wait, really?" Naruto started to light up. "I could just ask her and she'd help me?"

"Well, you'd still have to give her space for a couple weeks," Ayame replied. "But if she's worth dating, she might help you. You might also need some spare ryo…"

"Done," I offered. "If she wants to charge you for tutoring, I can foot the bill."

"Seriously?" Ayame blinked at me. "Wow."

I simply shrugged. "Anything for a friend."

"Alright then," Ayame smiled again.

"Okay yeah," Naruto nodded, his expression starting to get brighter. Then he hugged her over the counter. "Yeah, I can do that! Thank you, Ayame!"

"You're welcome," She said with a chuckle, returning it.

They separated. Then he jumped and hugged me, which I returned. "Thanks Daisuke!"

When he let go, he jumped off the seat. "Bye Daisuke, Ayame!"

"Good luck!" I waved at him and he disappeared. I turned to Ayame. "How much do I owe for the ramen?"

"Nothing," Ayame looked at me with an incredulous smile on her face. "You paid for two hundred bowls. He only got through twenty."

"Can you add the change to his tab?" I asked, grateful for the A-rank pay and for the fact that I didn't actually need to eat.

"Ummm…suuuure," Ayame shrugged, tilting her head.

"Cool," I said, hopping off of the stool after I made sure my bowl was empty. "It was delicious and I'll probably see you later."

"He's lucky to have you, you know," She told me. "Really."

"Thanks," I said with a wave goodbye. "See you."

I turned around and barely avoided bumping into someone a head and a half shorter than I was. She had short dark hair, Byakugan, wore an overly large jacket for this weather…this was Hinata. I didn't forget about Hinata.

I did forget that she used to be Naruto's stalker, however.

"Sorry," I nodded to her.

She pressed her fingers together and bit her lip. "It's okay."

I tilted my head. "…what's your name?"

Her head sunk even lower than before. "Hyuuga Hinata."

Cool. "Nice to meet you. Have a good day."

"Th-thank you," She muttered.

I shunshin'd away, heading back to my apartment.

The sun was at least a few hours from setting at least, but I wonder what she was doing stalking Naruto at what was assuredly dinner time? I never liked that about her. I liked everything else about her, I thought she was a great character, but I never thought that stalking someone was okay.

…I've got strong feelings about the 'stalking is love' trope. A holdover from when I hated Twilight and Stephanie Meyer for making my religion look bad.

Geeze, I barely remember anything about that book to begin with. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but I'd like to forget it completely. I probably won't, though, because my INT stat scales with level. So I'll probably remember more as time goes on.

DANGIT.

Whatever. What am I going to do for the rest of the day? Invent jutsu? I'm out of ideas that don't involve a higher check than 55. Would you believe Shadow Clones take a check of 65? I was furious. Invent Genjutsu? I've got moral quandaries with that: I didn't want to become Charles Xavier and mess with people's heads for the greater good.

I'll probably end up doing that later, but for right now, I prefer not having the temptation. Plus there's the fact that I'd end up casting those jutsu on myself without a test subject…make sure it'd work, right?

So…that leaves exploring the sewers.

The place the Sludge-monster from C'Thulhu's lower bowels tried to take me through after grabbing me near the end of that adventure. The place where Root is assuredly stationed and closer to the jaws of death than I actually feel comfortable with. Also assuredly the location of Orochimaru's old labs, where I'm guaranteed to at least find a few awesome goodies.

There's a sewer entrance in an alleyway near my apartment.

I'd been putting this off. I can only die once, after all.

But…it needs to be done. For the EXP.

So, I jumped into my apartment, grabbed a few storage scrolls that contained the entirety of my inventory then I…wait.

I was most definitely under surveillance.

My bloodline, the pure blend of nonsense that it is, is valuable. I wouldn't be surprised that I've got a file in the Hokage's desk that's the source of several migraines and maybe an ulcer. So there's probably an ANBU or two watching my apartment.

And following me around on my nightly runs.

Oh boy, the fact that I don't really need to sleep has been documented. That's got to be fun. Following a guy who never sleeps or stops can't be easy. Most likely not as fast as they are, but still, the endurance requirement has to be staggering.

Well, okay, I do sleep my nights away sometimes. But that just means I'll need a higher stealth skill before I even think of heading down there. That's both relieving, and disappointing. Well…ugh…I'm annoyed, now.

The sun was approaching the horizon. I opened the window and just looked out. The sun was still too bright to watch on the way down, but just taking in the fresh air was relaxing.