Shifting Moon

Life is just that, a life, and it means nothing if you don't make it worthwhile and live for something. But therein lies the question. What do you live it for? 

 The car ride to the airport was quiet as we had the windows down. Trying to bask in the heat of the day, absorb as much of it as we could to help keep us warm in the perpetually cold and rainy town, I had agreed to exile ourselves to. Knowing the weather I was headed towards, I didn't have my usual shorts on but instead a set of loose-fitting jeans. Light enough to be comfortable in the winter weather here in Phoenix, but the locals looked at me weird for wearing them. 

 I wasn't crazy enough to be wearing the parka I had stowed away in my carry-on luggage, so at the moment I was relaxed in my sleeveless thin white shirt. My sister was wearing the same, but her shirt had white lace and eyelets along the front in some random fashion I didn't get. I called her my sister, but we were closer to cousins by blood than true brother and sister. She must have felt my eyes on her as she turned to look at me. "It's ok, I'll be right next to you." She said with a sorrowful and worried look in her eyes.

 Anyone watching us would laugh at her gesture of comfort. Bella was all of 5ft 4in and 97 pounds soaking wet, so it was laughable to see her trying to comfort someone my size. At 17 years old I stood at 6ft 4in and looked like I weighed in the 200-pound range. My body was abnormally large and muscular for my age, to the point that I have had ladies in their 30's ask me to meet for drinks at a bar. I had anger issues and the best way for me to work those out was by pushing my body to exhaustion and I did that with weight training. Combining that with an appetite that nearly drove my aunt Renee to food stamps, you have a very good idea of what a gym body looks like. 

 In my stronger moments, I had tried some combat sports like the local Karate and some MMA classes also but those all ended in disaster. Because of my anger issues, I was hesitant to spar with other people and they tended to take this as a sign of cowardness. Put my size and obvious reluctance to fight together and what local bully wouldn't want to show off by dominating someone so large yet cowardly? The wind from the open window pushed my hair into my eyes so I brushed it back with my hand in irritation. My hair was another thing I hated for its ability to draw attention. I was 17 years old and yet I had white hair. My eyebrows were dark, so everyone assumed I was trying to be a wannabe Eminem. No matter how much I tried, no dye would adhere to it, so it stayed white.

 The few times I had to go to court over my reactions to the bullies who thought I was an easy target; the judge didn't take well to my obviously dyed hair. Thankfully Bella had been smart enough to bring my medical records to the courtroom to prove that it was a genetic thing. The other lucky thing was that most of these bullies wanted their friends to record their "Brave act" of pushing around someone so large, so in both cases that went before a judge, there was video proof of them starting it. The bad part was it also showed my brutal reaction in the end. I didn't just defend myself, I lost myself and nearly crippled them. Court-ordered anger management wasn't necessary because I was already attending them voluntarily. The group discussions about my anger and all the Woo SAA's of deep breathing just didn't help me very much.

 I was drug out of my introspection by my aunt, "Bella, Thomas... You guys really don't have to do this if you don't want to. We were doing just fine as we were, weren't we?" As she talked, Phill pulled into the drop-off lane at the United section of the airport.

 Bella stared at her mother's childlike eyes, and I could see her muster up the lie. "I want to spend some time with Charlie mom. It's not much longer and I will start college and my own life. I don't think I will have much time to see him after that all starts. Besides, you should spend more time with Phill on the road now that you guys are married. He sounds really hopeful that the Twins AAA league wants to sign him." After Bella's answer, Renee turned to me. 

 "What about you Thomas? You could stay with us. Phill says you have the making of a great baseball player if you work at it a little." 

 "Actually, Aunt Renee, I am really looking forward to the small-town experience. Maybe if I'm in a less crowded area I will learn to relax a bit more, get a grip on my anger issues, and maybe work through my trauma."

 "Oh Thomas, if only you could see that your heart is so much stronger than these muscles you have built up like a wall around yourself." 

 I smiled at her, "Thanks, Aunty!" Then I took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping out and after I closed it, I walked around to the back and helped Phill pull the luggage out of the trunk. "Here you go, big guy." Phill said, handing me the last of the luggage. We both knew it would be a few moments before Bella could Calm Renee down enough for her to escape the car. "If you ever decide you want to get into sports you be sure and let me know. You are any coach's dream."

 I smile at him, "Thanks, Uncle Phill." My words surprised him for a moment and then he chuckled. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I guess I am your uncle now. Funny, you think I would feel different." 

 "If you would take the advice of a snot-nosed kid Uncle Phill, if things don't pan out with the Twins, I recommend you look into Coaching. You have an inspirational way about you. Makes it easy for people to trust your words and work hard for you." Taking a deep breath, "Also, please cherish her. She went through so much for me that I can never make it up to her." 

 The opening of both passenger doors interrupts our conversation as Renee and Bella make their appearance. "Bella took charge of the situation, and we said our goodbyes yet again with promises to write emails and call every day. We all knew that it wouldn't happen as often as we wanted because life would move on for us all. I hugged and kissed Renee and shook Phill's hand and then I proceeded to put on my JBL headphones. I had made my own playlist with a lot of slow instrumental music playing over the sounds of nature and fixed my eyes on Bella's back as I entered the busy airport with the headphone's volume maxed out.

 In classical Bella fashion, she managed to trip over the rail for the sliding doors and almost fell on her face. I reached out for her shoulder and steadied her as a reflex. The move was so common that we really didn't even pay much attention to it. Bella had stopped thanking me for such things a while ago, so she just kept moving with a purpose towards the check-in counter to drop our luggage, minus our carry-on bags that is. 

 I kept my eyes on her back and tried not to look at the crowd of people. The crowds made me nervous and anxious. Once I started letting that affect me, I knew anger would follow, and being my kind of angry in an airport was a surefire way never to fly again. Like a horse being led around by its halter I stayed within 2 feet of Bella and didn't look around. Bella was the one responsible for finding our gate but first, there was the hurdle of the security check. Keeping my issues in mind, Bella had made our flight for the time with the least passengers so there was as little of a crowd as possible. I filled the little grey tray with everything I had on me including my headphones and tried to concentrate on the ground as much as I could.

 Once I got through the personal metal detector, I was quick to get my headphones back on. With short glances around me, I found Bella putting her shoes back on and followed her to our gate. Everything went well on our flight to Seattle and again our flight from Seattle to Port Angeles on a smaller plane was peaceful. I had relaxed more on the little plane with only 6 other passengers than at any point in the day so far. With a sigh, I noticed it was raining as we went to get off the plane and both Bella and I dug out our parka with a resigned sigh.

 We both accepted that wet was going to be the new forecast for as long as we were in Forks Washington.