Chapter 4: CHAPTER 4:- THE EMOTIONS OF FAILURE.
A figure in black and blue robes was standing in front of Fang Yuan in this seemingly endless dark expanse. it wasn't his sudden appearance that shocked Fang Yuan it was his face that shocked him because unlike him who was in the nightmare in his new body
the figure standing in front of him had the face of Fang Yuan the Fang Yuan of the Gu World the face of his third life, a face that fang yuan lost ages ago was standing In front of him like a perfect replica of himself.
'do I need to destroy this replica or should I say the illusion of mine to end the nightmare? no, it can't be so straightforward forward the spell won't give me such a straightforward task' he wasn't even able to finish thus thought as the illusion suddenly spoke up.
'' huh. what did you say?? end the nightmare? what you believe you can e...''
Before it could continue, Fang Yuan swiftly moved behind it and severed its head a thing unusal for his character but he for some reason did. Blood—his own illusion's blood splattered across his hand and face, yet his expression remained unchanged. He interrupted the illusion calmly.
"So what? I've failed until now; it doesn't matter to me. The end is all that matters; I don't care about the hardships I faced along the way." Seeking clarity, Fang yuan chose to find out more about his situation he uttered the word he needed now.
''status''
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??????
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'what ?? wasn't there supposed to be a runic screen in front of me now showing me my aspect and attributes why is it not appearing?'
''It won't appear you know no matter how much you call out for it''
this time there was a look of shock on Fang Yuan's face as what he saw made him wonder about his current predicament,
The figure before him, radiating a scholarly aura and dressed like an ancient Chinese scholar, made him question his situation and the spell's intentions for his first trial.
''what is the purpose of this trial? SPEAK! '' For some reason, Fang Yuan felt like instead of going around the topic he should ask it straight forward, although it seemed silly and a waste of time but he knew something was going on in this place.
from the very moment he entered this nightmare his mind was a mess, he who's mind was tempered to the pinnacle by his harsh life and ambitious goal having a hard time thinking straight wasn't a good sign. as it Compelled him to ask directly
''wow so a failure like you can still think straight huh''
Fang Yuan never believed that his previous attack would have an effect as they were just the conjurations of the spell instead of the real him and as expected the him from the second life again came into his eyesight without any visible harm on him.
''this is your first trial {the trial of mind} '' the scholarly Fang Yuan spoke up in a manner that suited a scholar like him but deep down it seemed twisted and vile like a viper.
''The trial of mind? does that mean there are more trials after this?'' he asked calmly seemingly coming to an understanding of what was happening to him right now.
''yes. three to be exact the trial of mind, the trial of soul and the trial of heart '' The other him spoke in a dignified manner and a polite smile which for some reason seemed horrible.
'three trials in one nightmare is not something I expected, according to the journals and interviews I have read the nightmares are basically centred around the exploration and ending of a conflict that an aspirant is sent into.
But mine seems to be different instead of an outer conflict of fight, mine is a conflict in me is it because of my regressions or is it because of me failing to gain immortality that my mind, soul and heart tho looked proper on the outside has a serious crisis inside.'
Fang Yuan didn't even get to think for more than two breaths as suddenly a voice pulled him out of his thoughts.
''to pass this trial you will need to overcome the emotions in your mind regarding your previous failure'' This time a voice reminiscent of pure and utter hatred replied.
Fang Yuan had expected this third voice as suddenly his reflection left his sole and came into life right in front of him, with a face looking like a man who was looking at his worst enemy the reflection had the appearance of his second life his life before becoming the demon he was known as
'' why can't I open my status and see my attributes and aspects?'' he asked calmly.
''because you haven't soothed the 4 emotions of failure that have rooted themselves in your mind right now '' a new voice replied to him this time from his side a voice filled with disappointment seeing him.
A face that could only be considered a divine beauty with no flaws and no faults, it was fang yuans fourth body the body that helped him reach to where he was in the past ''
''so you four are the emotions, I had deep inside my consciousness after my failure in achieving immortality'' Fang Yuan spoke while seeing the him from fourth life in the eyes.
''yes I'm the disappointment that your failure in achieving immortality had harboured in your mind ''
''and what emotion are you??'' Fang Yuan knew this whole scenario made sense as he himself felt odd since he came to this new world, was the spell trying to help him assimilate properly, is this why it set up the trial this way or was something else in the play?
''me?'' the dignified scholar suddenly had a twisted grin on his face as he spoke
''I'm the anger of your failure, the seething rage of your incompetence of having heaven-defying ambitions but incompetent power in yourself. I'm that anger that you forgot aeons ago in your pursuit of immortality Heaven refining demon venerable, and we are the anger, hatred, disgust and disappointment of your failures'' the scholarly fang yuan started to spat by the end of his talk.
''I see so that is how it is'' Fang Yuan said calmly while understanding how to clear this trial, his trial of mind and looking at the 4 different versions of himself.
Fang Yuan took a deep breath, centering himself amidst the chaotic emotions that stood before him. Each figure represented a fragment of his psyche, a manifestation of the struggles that had haunted him through countless lives. He understood now that this trial was not merely a test of strength or skill; it was a confrontation with the very essence of his failures.
''Anger, hatred, disgust, and disappointment, the emotions of his failure.'' he mused, his voice steady despite the tumult within. ''These are the chains that bind me to my past, the shackles of my own making. If I wish to move forward, I must confront each of you, acknowledge your existence, and find a way to transcend this turmoil.''
The scholarly figure stepped forward, his eyes gleaming with a venomous light. ''Do you truly believe you can overcome us? You are but a shadow of your former self, a hollow echo of the ambitions that once drove you. You cannot escape the truth of your failures, no matter how hard you try.''
Fang Yuan met the gaze of his anger with unwavering resolve. ''You are right about one thing: I cannot escape the truth. But I refuse to let you dictate my future. My failures have shaped me, yes, but they do not define me. I have learned from each setback, and it is through those lessons that I have grown stronger.''
The figure of disappointment scoffed, its voice dripping with condescension. ''Stronger? You call this strength? You have been reduced to a mere husk, a vessel for regret and weakness. You think you can simply wish us away?''
Fang Yuan's expression hardened. ''I do not wish you away. I acknowledge you. You are a part of me, just as much as my ambitions and my desires. But I will not allow you to control my narrative any longer. I will embrace my emotions, learn from them, and use them as stepping stones to reach greater heights. You will not hold me back.''
The figure of hatred surged forward, its presence overwhelming. ''You think you can just move on? You think acceptance is enough? You are weak! You have tasted defeat, and that taste lingers like poison in your veins. How can you possibly hope to overcome it?''
Fang Yuan's heart raced, but he stood firm. ''By confronting you, by feeling that pain and transforming it into something greater. I will not shy away from my emotions; I will harness them. Anger can fuel my determination, hatred can ignite my passion, and disappointment can guide my resolve. I will not be a prisoner of my past; I will be its master.''
The figures shifted, their forms flickering like shadows in the dim light. The figure of disgust stepped forward, its voice a low hiss. ''And what of us? You think you can simply cast us aside? We are the remnants of your failures, the echoes of your shortcomings. You cannot simply erase us from existence!''
Fang Yuan's gaze softened, understanding dawning within him. ''I do not wish to erase you. You are a part of my journey, my growth. I will integrate you into my being, allowing you to coexist with my aspirations. I will not deny your existence, but I will not let you dictate my worth. I am more than my failures; I am the sum of all my experiences, both good and bad.''
The four figures exchanged glances, their expressions shifting from hostility to contemplation. Fang Yuan felt a surge of energy within him, a warmth that spread through his core as he embraced the complexity of his emotions. He was no longer just a vessel of regret; he was a tapestry woven from the threads of his past.
''You are right to challenge me,'' he continued, his voice steady and resolute. ''But I will rise above you. I will take the anger, the hatred, the disgust, and the disappointment, and I will forge them into a weapon to carve my path forward. You will not be my chains; you will be my armor.''
With each declaration, the figures began to shimmer, their forms blurring as if caught in a tempest. The darkness around Fang Yuan pulsed with energy, the air thick with the weight of his resolve. He could feel the trial shifting, the very fabric of the nightmare bending to his will.
''This is my trial of mind,'' he proclaimed, his voice echoing through the void. ''And I will not falter. I will confront the depths of my psyche and emerge stronger, for I am Fang Yuan, and I will not be defined by my failures. I will transcend them!''
As the words left his lips, three figures began to dissolve, their forms merging into a brilliant light that enveloped him. Fang Yuan felt a rush of clarity, a sense of purpose igniting within him. The trial was not an end but a beginning, a chance to redefine himself in the face of adversity.
''you are the emotion I harbored the deepest into me without even knowing how ironic'' said Fang yuan while eyeing the last reflection with a calm and clear minded gaze.
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AUTHORS NOTE:-
Have some idea about my story? Comment it and let me know.
I used ai a lot in this chapter to edit lines don't blame me English is not my main language so I need it sometimes to get the tone and grammar right hope you don't blame me btw tell me how you like the trial of mind/emotions