9.5 - Swords and Sympathy
"Why should I trust you?" Angelica pointed her saber at Tamara's chest and eyed her down the length of the blade.
Tamara's fencing mask was still raised, and she glared back, "I already told you, the Russians gave my people a poor deal. I don't trust them. I don't like them, and I want to get back at them."
"Not enough." Angelica lifted her sword and raised her offhand.
Tamara glared at her and then flipped down her mask. "I don't know what else to tell you.”
"Engarde," Angelica said and immediately lunged. Tamara parried, giving ground. Angelica's attack was furious, and she followed up instantly.
The fencing room in the fortress was quite small, and soon Tamara was at the end of the mat. She switched to offense and drove in, pressing Angelica back. The lieutenant's blade parried up every one of her attacks although she steadily gave ground.
"It's not enough," Angelica said. "Those aren't motives to betray your comrades at arms. If those were your only motives, then I can't trust you and never will."
"I don't. Know what. To tell you” Tamara choked out the words between attacks. Angelica stopped giving ground and strengthened her defense, parrying each of Tamara's blows with a little more force. Angelica sensed her growing frustration, but was there something else behind it?
"Tell me, Tamara, what did your family think when you joined the Russian Mech Corps?"
Tamara's answer was tight, and there was definitely anger behind it. "That's none of your business." Her attacks were furious but more sloppy by the second.
Angelica lunged in. "Touché."
Tamara knocked Angelica's sword aside but stepped back and lowered her blade, acknowledging the point. She shoved up her mask. "Why does that matter?"
Angelica slowly raised her own mask and studied her opponent. "You know why it matters," Angelica snapped.
Tamara gritted her teeth but said nothing.
"Too personal?" Angelica asked. "Then tell me this, do horses still like you?"
Tamara cried out in anger and lunged, but Angelica had been expecting it. She parried the blow and stepped back, flipping down her own mask. Tamara's attack was furious and relentless, but it was sloppy, her anger getting the better of her reflexes. Angelica gave ground for a few steps before starting her own offense and pressing Tamara back. With another cry of frustration, Tamara's stance broke down completely, and then it shifted into something else. Something Angelica recognized as the sword dance.
Tamara's saber flashed in a whirling arc, cutting up, down, and around in a seemingly impenetrable cloud of steel. It was fortunate that these were fencing sabers with no edge and a blunted tip. The saber dance was intimidating and scary, but against a trained and prepared fencer it was not all that effective. Angelica lunged quickly with a flurry of blows, breaking apart Tamara's form and scoring on her once, twice, and a third time.
Tamara stepped back panting, her mask was still raised, and she glared. "How did you know?"
Angelica gave her the tightest of smiles.
"You're not the first Cossack I've sparred with. Now tell me the truth, they hate you, don't they?"
Tamara's glare softened, and a tear rolled down her cheek. "Damn you!" she whispered.
"I grew up in a country village," Angelica explained. "We weren't wealthy, but my father was a merchant, and we were better off than most that lived in our village. I had a mare. Every morning I would ride down by the river. She was a gift for my ninth birthday. I needed a ladder to climb up on her. Every day I rode her down by the river. Every day until two weeks after my thirteenth birthday."
"The test…" Tamara whispered. Angelica nodded.
"That's right. Every day until they came to my village to give me the istota test. Every day until I learned that I could use magic. After that, I couldn't get near her. If I came near the stables, I could hear her screaming in her stall. If I stepped in the door, she would go wild with fright." Angelica felt hot tears on her own cheeks. "So tell me, Tamara, and stop pretending that you're the only one who knows pain. Tell me why you really want to join us. Tell me why you really hate the Russians."
Tamara was clamping down hard on big silent sobs. Her tears were wet down her cheeks. She fought hard for a breath as her chest heaved.
"Every year they came and tested us. All the girls older than thirteen. The ones that passed, they took. Everyone said it was a great honor, but we all saw the looks. There was a special register for the Cossacks that went to the Mech regiments. They were struck from the regular list and put in the special register. When I was young, I thought it was an act of honor to honor them. But later, I knew the truth. They were dead to the Sich."
Angelica felt her stomach twist. She had known there was something like this behind Tamara's motives. But this was worse than she thought.
"They put a sash on each of us after the test. There were two of us in my year. They trotted us out in front of the whole tribe. The Commissar gave the speech on what a great honor it was. We had to just stand there as they all glared at us. We had become living reminders of their subjugation. Of the way the Russians could come in and take the best and the brightest of us and turn us into something else. Mother kissed me on my cheek as the train was waiting, and father couldn't meet my eyes." Tamara's sadness turned into a fierce anger.
"They told us the Imperial Mech Corps would be our new family,” Tamara she spat. “Then they treated us worse than dogs.”
“I've heard Russian discipline is harsh.”
“Ha! You have no idea. There were beatings for back talk. There were beatings for everything. If one girl in the group didn't measure up, the whole squadron was beaten. And then that girl was beaten again that night by her own bunkmates. I swore then that they wouldn't break me. They thought they could steal away my family and replace it with Mother Russia." She sneered. "But I'm Cossack. First, last, and always."
"Then you came to Poland because…" Angelica trailed off.
"Because of the Zaporozhian sich. I've heard they're more embracing of istota users."
Angelica nodded. "I knew several in my training class. Their family really was proud of them. They came to the girls' graduation."
Tamara closed her eyes and slumped back against the wall. Angelica knew what she was feeling. There was a terrible hole inside her that could never be filled. A terrible what might have been. Angelica knew what that felt like because she had felt it herself when she returned home from training and seen the boy who had been her intended before her test. The young man who had whispered secret promises to her. When the whole village turned out to honor her return, he was there with his pregnant wife. Angelica knew what it was to long for what might have been. She turned and wiped her face on her sleeve. It was time to go back to being an officer and not a jilted young girl.
"Very well. Tamara. I'll accept you into the wing provisionally. It'll be up to command to decide whether you get a commission in His Polish Majesty's Hussars."
Tamara wiped her own face and straightened up. "Thank you." Her voice was steady, and she met Angelica's eyes. "You won't regret it."