Selling Devil Fruits in the Marvel Universe

Since the blonde girl left, Rosh's shop had around ten more visitors trickling in and out. 

To be honest, the foot traffic wasn't terrible. But as always, their curiosity vanished instantly once people saw the Devil fruits. 

By afternoon, with the day nearly over, Rosh still had yet to sell a single fruit.

"Another day of nothing!" Rosh sighed, slumping over the counter with far less energy than he had that morning. He listlessly scrolled through his phone, fully embracing the idea of giving up for the day. 

"Ha~llooooo~"

Suddenly, a rather flamboyant voice rang out, snapping Rosh out of his daze. At the door stood a man wearing a full-face mask.

'What the hell?' A chill ran down Rosh's spine. 'Was this a robbery?' 

Shoplifting and zero-dollar shopping sprees weren't unheard of in this free-spirited country. Even convenience stores got hit sometimes. But robbing a fruit shop? That was a new one. 

"Don't worry," said the masked man, waving his hands. "I'm not some petty thief. I actually despise those low-life idiots. I'm just wearing this mask because I came from a cosplay carnival. I'm cosplaying a psychotic serial killer, but as you can see, no weapons." 

Rosh eyed the man carefully. True enough, he had no weapons in his hands. Feeling a little relieved, Rosh relaxed a bit.

'Still, his story seemed odd. Even if the guy had been cosplaying, the event was clearly over. Why was he still wearing the mask?' And something about his voice struck Rosh as oddly familiar. 

But that was strange. He had only been in this world for about a month, barely enough time to know anyone, let alone someone with such a distinctive voice. 

The man stepped into the shop without bothering to take off his mask. "I was just passing by and saw your weird shop, so I thought I'd check out these devil fruits... Are these colorful things the real deal?" 

'Is this guy nuts? Is he seriously planning to keep that mask on?' Rosh couldn't help but silently curse, but a part of him also felt hopeful. If this guy was a bit off his rocker, he might actually buy something. 

"That's right, sir," Rosh said, putting on his best salesman voice. "These are genuine Devil fruits, and they possess extraordinary powers."

"Shit, these are real?" The masked man's disbelief was palpable. "I thought they were just decorations or toys for kids."

"No sir, they're not toys. These are real fruits meant for consumption. And once you eat one, you'll gain incredible abilities." 

This was the critical moment. Most customers bailed right at this part of the pitch, so Rosh was preparing himself for rejection.

"Incredible abilities? Like the kind of stuff mutants from X-Men have?" But instead of walking out, the man looked even more intrigued.

Rosh's heart leaped. 'Yes! This guy might actually be crazy enough to believe it.'

"Exactly, sir!"

Rosh pointed to one of the fruits, the Slip-Slip Fruit. "For example, this is the Slip-Slip Fruit, also called the Smooth-Smooth Fruit. You might be wondering why it's called that..."

"Oh, I get it. It's called that because it makes your mouth feel all slippery like it's covered in lube, right?" The masked man interjected with a smirk.

Rosh ignored the comment and continued. "It's called the Slip-Slip Fruit or the Smooth-Smooth Fruit because if you eat it, your skin will become incredibly smooth, a hundred times smoother than a newborn baby's."

"Smooth skin? That sounds... intriguing. Would it work on any kind of skin?" The man seemed genuinely interested, much to Rosh's surprise. This was going better than expected.

"Of course, sir! All of our fruits are guaranteed to work as advertised," Rosh said, confidently making an outrageous promise. "If they don't work, well..." He thought for a moment, then swore, "May a hundred sumo wrestlers trample me into the ground." 

The masked man shuddered. "Damn, you're willing to swear on something like that?"

"Even on skin like mine?" Suddenly, the man pulled off his mask, revealing a face full of scars, pits, and disfigurement. His grotesque visage was a horrific sight to behold.

'Whoa!' Rosh's heart skipped a beat at the sight of the ghastly face. Then it hit him. 

'It's Deadpool!'

Rosh hadn't expected this masked oddball to turn out to be Deadpool himself. But on second thought, if anyone needed the Slip-Slip Fruit, it was Deadpool. 

And let's face it—Deadpool wasn't exactly known for being mentally stable either. 

"So, what do you think of my face?" Deadpool asked, not at all bothered by Rosh's reaction. He was used to people being horrified by his appearance.

"Sir, was your face run over by a train?" Rosh teased, despite already knowing the answer. He couldn't resist acting shocked. 

"And then trampled by a hundred wild horses, and for good measure, scrubbed down with sand during bath time," Deadpool shot back, completely deadpan. "So, will this work on my face?" 

"Absolutely, sir! Like I said, it works on any kind of skin!"

Rosh promised, brimming with confidence. "Just take one bite, and I guarantee your skin will transform into something flawless and radiant in seconds!"

"This sounds way too good to be true. You really expect me to believe in some magical fruit that can heal my face?" Deadpool, for the first time, sounded a bit skeptical.

Rosh quickly produced a small sample of the Slip-Slip Fruit. "Sir, why don't you try it yourself? This sample will smooth out your skin instantly."

"You're not trying to poison me, are you?" Deadpool asked, eyeing the sample.

"Come on, why would I do that?" Rosh pointed at the security camera. "Besides, if you die, I'll go to jail."

"Pfft, even if it were poisonous, it wouldn't kill me. And you wouldn't go to jail because I'd come back to kill you myself." Deadpool grinned beneath his scarred face as he grabbed the sample.

And with one swift motion, he took a big bite.