Sakura Unhinged

Flipping through the study guide, I blow away a particularly annoying strand of hair. It's been three years since I took this neon pink billboard's body, and Everything has gone according to the plot. Almost. 

Hey! You're a billboard now too! Show some respect for my body!

Inner Sakura is still there, I replaced outer Sakura, and the ninja school is almost over. I could do some radical things, but there just haven't been any good opportunities. I can't test whether Naruto and Sasuke can die, I haven't concluded if Shikamaru is a cowardly savant or if the IQ measurements in this world are off. I haven't tried to see how bugs tunnel into Shino or even if giving Kiba chocolate will kill him. 

Too many things to try, but not enough openings. Anbu would stop mostly everything while I'm in the village so I'll just wait until we leave. I won't leave during the wave mission. No. That would be stupid. Not only will I have no chance at survival outside, but there's a good chance that I'll die shortly after. What I need is information. I don't need to be strong, but I do need enough skills, and enough jutsu to survive outside. 

"Sakura! It's dinner time!"

"I'm coming!"

And then there's them. My parents. They don't seem to die anytime soon, but they would be the first to search for me. Maybe a few drops of poison before the chunin exams will do the trick. Sighing, I roll off the bed and make my way to the kitchen. So many things to learn, and so little time to do so. At least mom's cooking is delicious, maybe I should add that to the list of things I need to learn. No. Focus. I still need to kill my neighbor's cat tonight, who told it to sniff around my poison-making supplies? Can't let anyone know I'm playing with poison now, can I? 

No killing Sasuke-kun and cute animals!

_-_

Perfect, while the neighbors put on a show for their five-year-old waste of space, I'll just borrow their cat. Ignoring the lustful moaning, I slowly creep along the ceiling. Finding the cat lounging on a high shelf belly up, in obvious pain, I carefully crawl over. Reaching over, I quickly grab its head and clamp its mouth shut.

No animal cruelty!

I'm just euthanizing it, shut up. Crawling back to the window, I flip out of the house, and slowly ease the window closed. Step one, done. Huddling in a shady corner of the small yard, I grab a stone and club the flea sack. Once. Twice. Three times seems to be the charm. Grabbing the digging toys, I let some of the blood ooze onto them before using them to dig a small hole. Dumping the ginger in, I cover it up and make sure to thoroughly flatten it. 

Slowly standing up, I start climbing over the wall before hurriedly dropping down behind a yard chair. The rhythmic thumping and groaning aren't any more appealing when the auntie next door is smashing her average breasts and face on the backyard window. How long can this go on? He's been at it for at least 5 minutes, I refuse to believe he's got much longer. Pouting when another 5 minutes go by and he hasn't finished, I turn around and climb up the house instead. Jumping over the side fence, I walk around to my house. Jumping up, I grab my window ledge and flip into my room. Mission Accomplished.

Closing my window, I flip the latch. Tossing my disposable gloves into an open garbage bag, I return my cloak, trousers, and facemask to their place under squeaky floorboard A. I'll burn the gloves tomorrow. Even if the cloak and trousers have some blood, I can't afford to replace them yet. I have no income and getting multiple sets of dark trousers and large cloaks is very suspicious. Glancing at the clock, I grin. Four hours until I need to get up for the graduation exam.

_-_-_-_-_-_-

What is the will of fire?

Easy! /The will of fire is the ability to burn any and all combustible materials including trees, shrubs, vines, leaves, Uchiha, and other potential enemies./

Looking over the test, I glance at Iruka's leaf headband before hastily erasing the vegetation from my answer. Let's stick with safe answers. Handing in my test, I lay down on the grass outside. The first course of action is to gather the material needed to practice basic fuinjutsu, ninjutsu, medical ninjutsu, and genjutsu. Just basic things like the body flicker, chakra scalpel, as well theory on seals and genjutsu. I probably won't have time to learn anything better before the wave mission, but I can steadily gather resources for me to use after Orochimaru attacks. 

*Ahem*

I probably can't touch the scroll of seals since Danzo's watching on the sidelines, but I can probably sack the information archives for more advanced fuinjutsu and genjutsu theory. The real problem is where will I go? While I'm not helpless, being female isn't going to make things easier. Maybe I should practice the Transformation jutsu during the D ranks? 

*Ahem*

"What?"

Rolling over, I spot Iruka standing over me with a tense expression. Giving him an innocent smile, I tilt my head slightly, "What happened Iruka sensei? Is there something wrong?"

Seeing his veins pop on the side of his head, I roll my eyes, What now? Not only does this waste of space nobody take 4 years to teach 3 jutsu, but he also repeats the last 30 years of history every year in excruciating detail, taking extreme care to avoid anything to point to the village's failing. 

"Sakura-chan, are you sure you don't want to revise your exam?"

"Yup, I should easily pass."

"You don't think some of your answers are a bit too-..."

"Too what Iruka sensei?"

"Nevermind, Are you really not concerned that you'll get in trouble?"

"Ha! Iruka sensei, you're too funny. What kind of trouble can someone as pretty and pink as me get into?"