ROSES AND THORNS-BEING REAL

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

REALITY'S P. O. V

THE STORM.

"I-"

"Real please, my son is fighting for his life."

 Misha says rage written all over her face and her face is red with all the crying. I see resentment in her eyes, she can't even look at me right now, I just feel bad.

"But I just-" I begin, but Alejandro cuts me mid-sentence.

"Not now Real, please." Alejandro says as he holds Misha who is crying uncontrollably. I just wish there was a time machine to reverse and change everything. I can't hold back my tears.

After I had just arrived, I asked the receptionist and she asked to wait in the corridors where Misha and Alejandro were and that's why I thought of speaking to them but they all just turned me down making me feel that I'm alone; what I really am. They're both right, it's my fault; I shouldn't have left him in that condition.

"Reality?"

I turn to see where the voice is coming from. I see the same Indian lady from the other day. Misha and Alejandro's attention also shifts to us.

"Yes?"

"Can you please meet me in my office?" the lady says holding her stethoscope.

I look at both Misha and Alejandro and they just give a blank stare. I follow the lady into her office. The office; a big room with one boss chair and two client chairs, a lot of posters concerning mental health, medals and a name tag written Khushi Kumari. She tells me to take a seat and I do just that.

"Hello, Real." Khushi says with a warm smile on her face.

"Hi." I reply; still trying to figure out what it is that she has called me all the way to her office.

"So, you're 'the Reality.'" She says.

"What you mean by 'the Reality'?"

"I've heard a lot about you. I'm Khushi Kumari, Milan's psychiatrist."

"Oh." I reply, not knowing what to reply next.

"Do you know that Milan tried to kill himself last night?"

"I've just heard about it."

"Did you know he was gonna take his life?" she asks, her eyes fixed on me.

Tears just start coming out uncontrollably all over again.

"No." I reply.

"Well, he did, and this wasn't the first time. He also tried to commit suicide when he was twelve."

I can't believe my ears; why did Milan never ever talk of that? if I did, I would've been more conscious before leaving him.

"Oh my God…" I say as I put my hand to my mouth with the tears still coming out.

"I can help." Khushi puts her hand on my hand which is currently fixed on the table. I mutter a 'thank God' upon hearing her out.

"What happened yesterday?" Khushi looks me straight in the eye.

"Well, I told him that I was leaving the city and he told me not to go and…."

"And?" Khushi's eyes still fixed on me as she nods, trying to understands my side of the story.

"He smashed the flower vase and I was really scared. I swear I didn't know he was gonna commit suicide." I tell her in between sobs.

"I know, I know, here." Khushi holds out a glass of water to me.

"Have some water."

I take the glass and take a sip.

"In my many years as a psychiatrist, I've met a lot of patients like Milan and I've treated them all."

I take a sigh of relief.

"It's just that it's always hard when someone relies on one person to be happy. I hope you get what I'm saying."

"O-of course." I reply. Every word is making me even sadder.

"So, we need to join hands in order to help him. He's always needed help and was in denial, I know it'll be hard for both of you to stay away from each other, but that's the only way to ensure his recovery."

My heart sinks upon hearing all this. Why is this happening? However, Khushi is looking at me for an answer. I take a deep breath.

"Of course, doctor. I totally understand."

I lie, I'll never be okay again, not without him. But I'm the one a fault here, so I have to mend my mistake and forget him to ensure his recovery.

"Thank you for your cooperation." Khushi takes my hand as she smiles.

"Is he okay?"

"Of course, he has just been shifted from the ICU. Come, I'll lead you to his room."

I follow Khushi out of the office to the corridors where she shows me a room. I look back at her and she encourages me to get it. I'm however really nervous, I peep through the window and my heart sinks upon seeing Lan. I look at him and he looks pale and whiter than I saw him as. He is in a white hospital gown with a lot of drips connected to his arm. I hold my mouth as even more tears come out. What have I done to him?

"Go ahead." Khushi says.

I give one knock and open the door, as soon as I get in; he notices me.

"Oh, Real, you're here?"

Milan holds out his hands to me and I quickly go ahead and hug him. My tears can't stop coming out.

"Hey, hey, hey, I'm the one hospitalized; why you crying?" Milan holds my cheek and wipes the tears from my face.

"D-did you have to do all this?" I ask looking at him.

"Of course, I'm sorry for yesterday; I shouldn't have behaved like that with you. I'm just glad I didn't hurt you. I don't know what I would've done to myself if I had hurt you." Milan says holding my cheek.

"You can't go any further than this, right?"

"Maybe. I love you, Real."

Right now, I want to say a lot of things; that I love him back, so, so much and that I'm no longer going to New York City. But that would only make the situation worse because we're splitting.

"What did you use?"

"Drugs, took forty of them." He says.

"Oh my goodness."

"Don't you wanna know how I survived?"

"Of course." I nod.

"After I consumed that amount of pills, the doctors tried to remove them and discovered that my dealer tricked me and gave me vitamin C tablets that's why. Guess I'll not be having citrus fruits for a really long time." Milan jokes and I just smile.

"Of course you won't. thank God you're okay, else I don't know what I would've done if you really died." I say wrapping my arms around him.

"Come on."

"I would've died, Lan. Everyone would've blamed me and you should've thought of what I or your parents would've gone through, Lan."

"It's okay, Real." Milan says hugging me.

"No, it's not okay, Lan, it's not and…I shouldn't have left you in that condition." I say as my tears keep falling down.

"But I was wrong."

"But what if-" Milan puts his palm on my mouth and I look straight into his eyes and he shakes his head.

"I'm okay, Real."

"Don't ever do that again Lan. You scared me."

A few moments pass by.

"Guess we'll have to live without each other."

This sends shockwaves to my heart.

"Yeah." I reply.

Everything starts going round and round, I kind of lose balance and hold Lan's hand tightly. Milan holds my hand.

"Real, you okay?"

I close my eyes for a bit and the dizziness is partially gone.

"O-of course, I'm okay."

"Guess I should reconsider having a chat with Khushi."

"Of course, you should. I brought you something."

I take out the small pink diary and hold it out to him and put it in his hand.

"My mom gave it to me. So, I want you to have it."

"Thank you."

 Milan takes the diary.

"I'll never forget you, Real." Milan says putting his palm on my cheek.

"Nor will I."

Milan wraps his arms around me and I hug him back.

"Too bad I have nothing to offer you right now." Milan says.

"It's okay."

My phone starts ringing and I take it out. The screen lights up and it's Erica.

"I need to get going." I sadly tell him.

"How about a last kiss?"

"Sure." I say with a half-smile.

I get closer and close my eyes as our lips meet. It's a gentle but yet emotional kiss. I look at him and just run out crying. Little did I know that this one last kiss is the one thing making this situation even more painful, we're separating, so what's the point. I will forever blame myself for this, I have one last word, goodbye Lan. Hope you find the right person.

"Real."

Erica puts her hand on my shoulder and I just give her a tight hug. she tells me she heard what had happened. I tell her that it's my fault Milan almost lost his life and she tells me it's not even though I know it is.

"Did you know he was gonna do that?" Erica holds my hand.

"No." I shake my head."

"But he-" then I just lose it all and almost lose my balance, Erica quickly holds me.

"Real, are you okay?"

"My heart hurts."

I say as I feel my heart burning like fire as I run out of breath.

"You'll be okay. Doctor! Nurse!" Erica yells helplessly.

MILAN'S P. O. V.

"That-that's Real." I say getting up.

"No, son." Dad holds my hand.

"No, that's Real, she's not okay." I disconnect all the drips; they sting a bit, but I just ignore it all and step down, my balance is not steady, my parents try to stop me, but I just ignore them. I hold the walls and step into the corridors. My vision is kind of blurry and I'm getting troubles breathing. The nurses come to hold me.

"I just need to know if Real is okay, let me go!" I try to let myself go, but I'm too weak. Khushi comes and injects my arm and I lose the little energy I have left.

"Come on, why the fuck don't you get it, I need to see Real."

"Real's fine." Khushi says.

Before I know it, my eyes become so heavy that I shut them and don't have the energy to open them. Everything just becomes black and I don't feel a thing anymore, except my bleeding heart which just wants to see Real.

NARRATOR

Hours later, Milan's parents and Khushi meet in the office.

"Doctor, for how long will he be like this?" Alejandro asks.

"Yes doctor, he's been unconscious for six hours now." Misha says.

"Actually, because he had a lot of vitamin C which contains a lot of acids, I gave him a lot of drips containing bases to balance it all up, but when he removed them, all the processes were disturbed. So, I gave him a drug which will keep him asleep for four hours, but since his body's undergoing a lot of drugs and stress, that's why he's taking long."

Misha starts crying and Alejandro tries to comfort her.

"And another thing, Milan's health is not stable as you can see, even though he's unconscious, he keeps calling out Real's name." Khushi explains.

"Can you tell us what the problem is doctor?" Alejandro asks looking at Misha.

"The thing is, Milan only has Real going on in his mind right now."

"Can't Real being here help him?" Misha asks and Khushi shakes her head.

"No. At this point, this is what we call a toxic relationship; whereby Real's absence makes Milan really sick, and her presence makes an impact as it can cause a threat because Milan is now addicted to her to a percentage which is higher than normal." Khushi explains.

"Can he get over her; as in, can he forget her?" Alejandro determined to know more about his son, asks.

"I'm not sure if about forgetting her, but getting over her, he might, but he needs time for him to process everything."

"So in this case, Real is the problem, right?" Misha asks, her face full of rage and anger. She's a mother after all.

"No, no, no, that's not what I'm trying to say, you need to get what I'm saying clearly-"

Misha tries to defend herself and Alejandro tries to calm her down. She's right about one thing though, her son is indeed going through a lot.

"Madam, please you need to understand that this not anyone's fault. You also need to understand that Milan was already going through a lot as he has bipolar and letting anxiety into his life so wasn't a strategy."

"How can he completely heal from this?" Alejandro asks.

"Until he learns to control his feelings towards Real." Khushi responds.

"But absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"I know, but right now, that' the best solution. I've been treating a lot of patients like Milan, but he's a special case because despite his suicide attempt counselling, he still thinks he need Real to feel better. Real is a part of his heart, since she was there all the times he was going through the hardest phase of his life. But the best solution would be that he should find someone new."

"Milan would never agree to that." Misha says, knowing exactly how much Milan loves Real even though she herself now no longer likes Real.