Romantic Gangster

#42

Why did Hyun-joon put his lips on Ji-woo’s eyes? Was it a momentary impulse due to pheromones? Or was it… normally how he comforted crying people? Since it’s rare to suddenly do something like that without ever having done it before, the thought that he might have done it to someone else strangely made Ji-woo’s mood sink a little.

“…”

Well… Hyun-joon was handsome and popular, so he must have dated a lot, and situations like earlier could have happened. They probably hugged each other often for no reason, and smiled while looking into each other’s eyes. Because they liked each other.

With a somewhat sunken mood, Ji-woo imagined Hyun-joon’s happy face. Hyun-joon smiling at someone, Hyun-joon hugging someone, Hyun-joon liking someone.

“…”

What kind of person would Hyun-joon like? A kind person? Someone with a pretty face? Or someone active who’s good at various sports like Hyun-joon? No, maybe they’d have to meet all of these criteria.

Ji-woo let out a deep sigh, shook his head again, and closed his eyes. His hair was disheveled on the pillow. It would probably be messy in the morning if he slept like this, but he was too preoccupied with thoughts of Hyun-joon to consider that.

I should stop thinking and go to sleep…

Just as he pulled the blanket up higher and buried his lips in it, a flash of light spread. Ji-woo quickly opened his eyes and looked at the phone screen next to his pillow.

[Hyun-joon: Good night to you too]

[Hyun-joon: And don’t get any part-time jobs on the weekend]

[Hyun-joon: You’re confined to my house from when school ends on Friday until Sunday night]

[Hyun-joon: Go to sleep now, see you tomorrow]

It seemed Hyun-joon felt bad about refusing when Ji-woo said he wanted to go to his house to hang out earlier. To say it again like this.

For some reason, his heart that had been sinking slightly rose a bit higher than its original position. Ji-woo read and reread the messages Hyun-joon sent many times until he fell asleep.

Hoping for morning to come quickly.

* * *

Hyun-joon picked up the cheap lighter that had fallen on the sand in the empty lot and lit the cigarette in his mouth. The lighter’s flame flickered and disappeared in the darkness.

He was trying not to smoke much to avoid smelling of cigarettes as much as possible since he had been having a lot of physical contact with Ji-woo while giving him pheromones, but his surroundings weren’t helping.

“Hey, hey… Hyun-joon, why, why are you doing this? We, we didn’t even say we were with you yesterday.”

“Why would we talk about you? We all know you’ve been busy hanging out with that omega lately…”

Hyun-joon took a deep drag and exhaled, then kicked Kim Seung-chan’s shoulder hard as he got up and knelt again.

“Hanging out? Hey, you’re still not getting it and saying things like that on purpose. Why, are you trying to provoke me?”

“No, no…! That’s not it, you, you don’t even like those kinds of kids usually! You hate omegas clinging to you… but you’re hanging out with him! We just, just thought you were playing around with him…”

“Fine, let’s say you could think that way. But you thought I was just playing around with him and released pheromones to drag him away? How shitty must you have thought of me to do that? I must have seemed really fucking awful to you, huh?”

“No! It’s not like that… It’s just, since you were doing it, we… we were just curious… If we knew you’d get this angry, we definitely, definitely wouldn’t have done it! We don’t usually do that! We always listened to you well, Hyun-joon!”

“Keep it short. Your excuses are too long.”

Hyun-joon grabbed them by the hair one by one and lifted them up, then punched them in the face again. Kim Seung-chan and Jo Seung-jae, having lost all strength to even sit up, lay on the empty lot and sobbed. Hyun-joon took the half-smoked cigarette from his mouth and threw it at them, then raised his foot sharply to extinguish the ember, causing the two to curl up their bodies. It was an unsightly scene that was hard to look at.

“Go and clear things up tomorrow so my name doesn’t come up again. If my name comes up one more time for something you guys did, you’re on your own. And don’t touch Seo Ji-woo.”

Hyun-joon looked down at the two nodding their heads frantically while curled up, then threw the lighter on the ground and turned to leave the empty lot. Those two were no match for him from the start. He knew that even if ten or twenty such alpha bastards came at him at once, they wouldn’t stand a chance if he released his pheromones once.

But he also knew that such pathetic, insignificant bastards could be a big threat to Ji-woo. That made him angry. Why should Ji-woo have to suffer so much just because of some pheromones? The more he thought about it, the more irritated he became.

He felt a bit sorry, thinking that if he had been harsher and pushed Ji-woo away when he came looking for him to come to school, Ji-woo wouldn’t have experienced such a dangerous situation because of the guys he knew.

Of course, if that had happened, he wouldn’t have been able to spend time with Ji-woo like this, experiencing his heart tightening and swelling every day, which he didn’t dislike… But knowing that Ji-woo’s pheromones becoming unstable and suffering, and being threatened by such idiots were all because of him, he felt concerned.

Ah… I want to see Seo Ji-woo.

It would be nice if I could just go see him whenever I want without the bullshit about taking responsibility until the end because I’m going to school because of you, or the excuse that I need to help because your pheromones are unstable. If it could be natural to be together, to hold hands and hug without having to attach any reason.

If Seo Ji-woo could smile just because of me, if everything became natural because it’s me, it would be really, really fucking great.

Hyun-joon entered a nearby convenience store, bought a can of isotonic drink, and walked home while drinking it. Throughout his walk, he kept thinking of Ji-woo calling for him. Seo Ji-woo calling his name, hugging his shoulders, rubbing his face against his neck.

“Ah…”

Suddenly coming to his senses, he saw a familiar small store. Without realizing it, he had come to the alley where Ji-woo’s house was.

I’m really going crazy. Clicking his tongue, Hyun-joon was about to turn around but couldn’t help feeling regretful and slipped into the alley. Although it felt a bit too much like stalking, he planned to just go to the front of the house where he and Ji-woo stood talking every day before parting, and then return. He felt like he was about to die from wanting to see Ji-woo’s smiling face so badly.

In the quiet alley, as he reached the spot where he always stood with Ji-woo, the image of Ji-woo looking up at him flickered before his eyes. Ah, why do I want to see him this much? Is this normal? Can it be like this when we haven’t been apart for that long?

‘I was scared, couldn’t breathe well, and struggling, but I could only think of you.’

This was all because of Seo Ji-woo. Being unnecessarily honest without even knowing his own feelings.

‘I desperately needed you.’

Saying things more intense than asking to date, yet not knowing his own feelings of liking him, and being so damn pretty that it was impossible to forget.

“…”

Remembering Ji-woo’s message, Hyun-joon took out his phone and unlocked the screen to find the chat window where he had sent messages to Ji-woo earlier still open. Hyun-joon looked at the message Ji-woo had sent him.

[I was about to sleep but thought of you]

That’s right. If you’re scared and can’t breathe, yet you think of me, not the school nurse or 119 or Choi Young-jae, and even desperately need me, and think of me when you’re about to sleep…

You like me too, don’t you?

You can’t look at me with those eyes just because of pheromones, just for that one reason. I’m not just imagining things and overreacting, right?

Hyun-joon looked up at the multi-family house once more, then reluctantly turned to leave. Even as he walked home, the image of Ji-woo’s face as they walked together in the afternoon light, holding his hand tightly, didn’t leave his mind.

* * *

As October began, the third-year classrooms became very sensitive. There were incidents of raising voices over trivial matters, and some students even collapsed during class and were taken to the infirmary, leading to several chaotic days.

While most were unsettled due to the upcoming college entrance exam, Ji-woo was unsettled for a slightly different reason. Lately, he kept wanting to be close to Hyun-joon. It would be better if it was just that thought, but it was quite, no, very troublesome that he explicitly didn’t want to be apart.

Since he started receiving Hyun-joon’s pheromones, he gradually began to want to be closer, and these days he found himself actively seeking out Hyun-joon and becoming more conscious of him. This had intensified since the music room incident not long ago.

Even though he wasn’t struggling or having problems without those pheromones, his eyes kept searching for Hyun-joon, and when they were together, he became more aware of Hyun-joon’s words, voice, and the way he looked at him than before.

Although he didn’t show it, he enjoyed the time when Hyun-joon gently released his pheromones, held his hand, and lightly hugged him in front of his house on the way home after his part-time job so much that he found himself waiting for the sun to set quickly every day.