Romantic Gangster

#18

“Enjoy your meal.”

“…Do you want to eat too?”

“Me?”

“Yeah. I’ll buy it for you.”

“No, I’m fine.”

“I! I just don’t like eating alone. What’s the point of eating by myself? Hey, grab another ketchup and come over here.”

“But I have to work…”

“Come on, no one’s coming. Hurry up and get it out.”

As Ji-woo took out another ketchup and mustard sauce from the drawer, Lee Hyun-joon walked back to the cup noodle corner.

“Hey, do you want to eat the same as me?”

“No, this is too spicy. I’ll… um, have the cream stir-fried noodles.”

Hyun-joon had never seen anyone eat cream stir-fried noodles around here. So watching Ji-woo choose a non-spicy, creamy stir-fried ramen felt a bit strange… and somehow ticklish. Just picking up a white-designed cup noodle, unlike the bright red one he chose, made him feel odd.

Hyun-joon headed back to the counter with the cream stir-fried noodles, sausages, and the ion drink Ji-woo had at school earlier instead of cola. He watched Ji-woo scan the barcodes again and then held out his card.

“Thanks for getting something for me too.”

“I’m not looking out for you. I just said I don’t like eating alone.”

“Still, thank you. I’ll enjoy it.”

“…Whatever.”

Feeling his nape burn, Hyun-joon gathered everything from the counter and went to the long table attached to the convenience store door, placing his purchases there. Then he opened the cup noodle packaging.

“Haven’t you had dinner yet?”

“No. I was late playing bowling with the guys for dinner.”

“Did you win?”

“No, I lost.”

“Ah… So you came without eating?”

“I just gave them money to eat on their own and left.”

“Why?”

As Hyun-joon sprinkled the cup noodle sauce over the noodles, he realized he had said something unnecessary while focusing on the cup noodles. He was at a loss for how to answer why he didn’t eat with his friends and came here instead.

“…I just felt like eating this, nothing else.”

“Ah… That happens sometimes. Good thing you came.”

Ji-woo opened the sausage package, put two side by side in the microwave, set the time, and pressed the button. The light inside the microwave flashed on, and the sound of it operating filled the air.

Hyun-joon found Ji-woo intriguing. Usually, people would be most curious about ‘why he came here,’ but Ji-woo didn’t pry. Given how persistent he had been following him before, and claiming to have a tenacious personality, Hyun-joon was sure Ji-woo was curious but wondered why he didn’t ask.

“Here, give it to me. It’s hot.”

Hyun-joon took the cup noodle container Ji-woo was holding and poured hot water into it, then did the same for his own. It was just pouring water into cup noodles, but he felt crazy being conscious of the gaze from beside him. Hyun-joon closed the lid of the ramen and placed chopsticks on top, staring only at the humming microwave. Though it might just be him, an incredibly awkward silence seemed to linger as the conversation stopped.

“Actually, I was waiting for you.”

Beep, beep, beep. The microwave alarm sounded loudly, indicating that the set 1 minute and 30 seconds had passed. Hyun-joon met Ji-woo’s eyes, facing the alarm, no… the even louder warning bells ringing in his heart. His head spun at the sudden statement.

“Somehow, I thought you’d come.”

“…”

“You asked earlier where I work, right?”

Ji-woo smiled, took the sausages out of the microwave, peeled one package, and squeezed ketchup and mustard sauce in a wave pattern on top before handing it to Hyun-joon. Hyun-joon absently took the sausage and bit into it.

Strangely… the sausage seemed to taste like castella.

“Did you come here on purpose because of me?”

“…”

“Hm?”

“Why… No. You’re right. Might as well! I should help boost sales where someone I know works. That’s what loyalty is about.”

Fuck, I should die. Loyalty, fuck, suddenly. What am I, a gangster? In front of someone who asked if I was really cast as a gangster, talking about loyalty, fuck.

Cursing inwardly, Hyun-joon finished the sausage and shoved the long stick into the trash can. No matter how he thought about it, harping on about loyalty was truly the worst.

If there was any consolation, it seemed that Seo Ji-woo didn’t take the mention of loyalty too seriously. Seeing his calm face as he casually checked if the noodles were cooked with his chopsticks brought some relief.

“Give it here.”

“No, I’ll throw it away. You start eating.”

“Ah, give it. It’s hot.”

Since it was the type that needed the powdered soup mixed in, Hyun-joon took the cup noodle container from Ji-woo, who was about to discard the water. He poured out the appropriate amount of hot water at the disposal area.

“Isn’t it hot for you?”

“Not really.”

Hyun-joon placed the steaming container back in front of Ji-woo and watched him add the powdered soup before opening his own cup noodle lid. The noodles were a bit more cooked than he usually preferred, but he didn’t regret disposing of Ji-woo’s water for him.

Taking a large bite of noodles, he glanced sideways to see Ji-woo neatly rolling noodles covered in white sauce onto his chopsticks and popping them into his mouth. After always seeing guys slurping noodles carelessly, watching Ji-woo eat quietly and neatly made Hyun-joon feel strange again.

He didn’t want to appear crude to Seo Ji-woo. For some reason, he didn’t want to show an embarrassing side or even be seen stuffing food into his mouth. Just as Ji-woo appeared neat, tidy, and sometimes cute to him, Hyun-joon wanted to look good in Ji-woo’s eyes too. And…

“…”

He wanted to look cool. Just as he found himself thinking about Seo Ji-woo at random times throughout the day, he hoped Ji-woo would think about him all day too. He wanted the version of himself in Ji-woo’s mind to be incredibly handsome and awesome. This led him to constantly censor and correct his behavior, unlike his usual self.

He felt like he was going crazy, worrying about tiny details he had never cared about, never needed to care about, and would never care about in front of others. Hyun-joon quietly and politely finished his ramen. He stole glances at Ji-woo, who neatly rolled his noodles to the very end. He couldn’t taste the cola he was drinking, nor could he hear the soft music playing in the convenience store.

He could only hear the sounds of Seo Ji-woo moving beside him. The sound of chopsticks moving, drinking the ion beverage, and finishing the last bite-sized piece of sausage… these trivial sounds that normally wouldn’t be audible kept reaching his ears. As he swallowed the last sip of cola, Hyun-joon let out a long sigh. He felt like he was going crazy being so conscious of Seo Ji-woo.

“Ah, delicious.”

“Isn’t it too rich? I thought cream would make it that way.”

“Ah, it’s a tiny bit spicy, so it’s not too rich. I should have offered you a bite.”

“…If we eat it again next time, you can give me some then.”

“Okay, I will. Come by again if you’re hungry next time. I’ll buy it for you then. I can’t give you cigarettes or alcohol, but I can buy you cup noodles.”

“Hey, do you think I go around everywhere just to buy that stuff? I’m not like that, really. I hardly drink, and as for smoking, really, huh? You might think I chain-smoke or something, but I don’t.”

Ji-woo smiled and nodded as he watched Hyun-joon earnestly deny it. Then he cleaned up their finished meals. Hyun-joon followed suit and tidied up the table.

“What time do you finish?”

“Ten o’clock.”

Hyun-joon checked the time, which was a little past nine, and followed Ji-woo towards the counter. Ji-woo tilted his head slightly as he looked at Hyun-joon, who followed him instead of leaving as expected.

“Aren’t you going?”

“Even if I go, I have nothing to do today, so…”

The words “I want to hang around a bit longer and go home together” got stuck in his throat and wouldn’t come out. Hyun-joon mumbled, burying his mouth in his track top by pulling the zipper all the way up.

“…It might be better to go together…”

“Huh?”

It seemed his mumbling was too unclear, and his words didn’t reach Ji-woo at all. It would be nice if Ji-woo could just catch on quickly, but unfortunately, Seo Ji-woo seemed terrible at reading between the lines. Thanks to that, Hyun-joon, who was trying to come up with a plausible excuse, suddenly exclaimed “Ah!” as if he’d thought of something and pointed at Ji-woo.

“Your pheromones! They’re really unstable, right? You shouldn’t be alone, I think?”

“I took another pill before leaving home, so I should be fine… I’m not feeling dizzy or nauseous now.”

“No, you still smell a bit. Like castella.”

“Really?”

Ji-woo asked sincerely, not out of doubt but genuinely curious if he really smelled. Hyun-joon, looking down at him, leaned forward and gestured as if to say “smell for yourself.” In response, Ji-woo leaned forward, placing both hands on the counter. Hyun-joon also leaned in, placing his hands on the counter and moving closer to Ji-woo.

“…”

As he brought his nose closer to Ji-woo’s nape, where the pheromone scent was strongest, he could indeed smell a sweet fragrance. The alpha’s sensitivity had overcome the suppressants. It wasn’t strong enough to make him lose control due to the pheromones, but it was certainly enough to use as an excuse to stay here for another 40 minutes.