Chapter six
Livia got daring the next morning. She pulled out a beautiful floral dress that she loved but never dared to wear in Caesarea. The sweetheart neckline was a little revealing, but the cap sleeves made the look fairly innocent. The length hit her mid-thigh. It didn’t bother Livia but maybe it looked too short?
Livia walked over to Whitney’s room and knocked on the door. It opened three seconds later.
“Yeah?” Whitney asked.
“Is this dress too short?” Livia asked.
Whitney looked her over. “No. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“Thanks,” Livia said.
Now, for phase two of her experiment. Livia wore the dress to class. No one gave her strange looks. No one whispered or giggled behind their hands as she passed. It was amazing. Livia felt a sense of freedom and independence that she hadn’t felt for a long time. Also, validation. Caesareans were crazy. There was nothing wrong with Livia’s clothing style or her strong Taurus house legs.
####
“Come on, Livia!” Whitney called, laughter in her voice.
Livia pulled cookies out of the oven. The process of baking had always soothed her. She liked giving other people food. It was her love language. Whitney had a hard test yesterday and Livia wanted to do something nice for her.
Whitney had spent the last several hours getting to know the girls across the hall from them. They sat in the hallway laughing and talking. It was pleasant background noise while she was cooking.
Livia removed the oven mitts and walked out into the hallway. The cookies could wait a bit before going on the cooling racks.
Livia walked out to see the entire hallway lined with girls. Apparently, more than just the across the hall neighbors were involved. “What’s going on?”
Whitney giggled. “We’re having a wall sitting contest.”
“Oh,” Livia said. “Why?”
“For fun!”
Livia had to figure out a way out of this. She’d win them all without breaking a sweat. After playacting with Oliver, Livia had her fill of pretending to be someone she wasn’t. Livia had pretended before Caesarea as she moved through society. At that point, she hadn’t actually known about Taurus house so it didn’t feel like a deception. Now that Livia knew, there was no way to escape the guilt for taking unfair advantage or being dishonest.
Livia waved Whitney off. “You guys have fun. I’ll bring out cookies in five.”
Livia returned to the apartment and put the cookies on a cooling rack and started to clean up the kitchen. She shook off the sadness that overtook her. She didn’t want to join in the competition in the hallway but a sense of isolation overwhelmed her, knocking her breathless.
Livia would take the cookies out to the girls and she’d feel better. She scooped the cookies off the cooling racks and onto a plate and carried them out to the girls. The satisfaction she usually got from feeding people didn’t erase her sadness.
The situation made her remember having a pushup contest in the staff room with one of Justin’s officers, a huge Aquila guy named Alexander. He was always razzing her and she’d wanted to stick it to him. She’d won by two pushups after Alexander had collapsed from exhaustion. It had been one of the highlights of her time in Caesarea. It was cathartic to beat him at something but it had been one of the rare times that she’d been completely herself--stubborn, determined, strong, and hellishly tenacious--and then praised and celebrated for it. Why couldn’t Caesarea be like that all the time?
###
Livia expected to see Corvin again by now, but she hadn’t. A full week had passed and each time she left class, she looked for him. Each time she left her dorm room in the morning, she looked for him. Each time she ate at the cafeteria, she looked for him. Another week passed. The novelty of campus life wore off. Livia stopped only looking for Corvin and she started hoping she’d see him. She got on with her roommate and the people in her classes were nice, but she longed to interact with someone who understood the secrets she carried.
Livia didn’t know what made her do it exactly--curiosity, mistrust, need. She expected her plan to fail. Corvin had probably pretended to be a student and now that he’d gotten the information he needed, he’d gone back to Caesarea. That’s why she hadn’t seen him in the past two weeks. Livia arranged to casually walk past room 315 in the Scipio building at 4:15 on a Monday evening.
The door was open and she saw Corvin’s face, as he listened to one of his classmates give a presentation. She froze, unable to tear her gaze from his familiar face. He was still here. She didn’t know how long she stood there until one of Corvin’s classmates--a woman--touched his arm and gestured to Livia in the hallway. Corvin looked startled and his gaze fell on Livia.
Livia unfroze and she ran down the hallway to escape. Corvin came after her, catching her as the elevator opened.
“Wait!” he said. “Livia, hold on.”
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you.” She walked onto the elevator. She pushed the button to close the doors faster.
Corvin hesitated a second. Then he leaped into the elevator before the doors shut.
“Corvin!” she shouted in frustration as the elevator jerked downward. “What are you doing?”
Now they were trapped here together.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” Livia said, pulling herself into the corner of the elevator farthest from him.
“Livia, look at me,” he demanded.
She looked up into his face and her frustration evaporated into thin air.
His eyes were piercing, a mix of concern and fear. “Livia, is everything alright?”
“I’m okay,” she insisted. “Really, I promise.”
“Really?” he asked, studying her face.
“Yes.”
“Why are you here, then?”
There was a heavy silence. Livia struggled to come up with an answer that wouldn’t make her seem pathetic or like a creepy stalker. “I came to see if you’d lied.”
“About what?” he asked, confused.
“Being enrolled here. That you actually weren’t here to just...check up on me.”
Corvin sighed.
The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Corvin didn’t move out of the way. Livia looked past him. “Excuse me.”
“We’re going to talk,” he said, firmly.
“No, we’re not,” she said.
“You can’t just run away.” He blocked the elevator door from closing on them.
“I can just shove you,” Livia threatened.
“You can,” he said, unafraid. “Or we can just talk.”
“That’s not an incentive to stay,” she said.
Frustration crossed his features plain as day, then he inhaled and schooled them. “Please, I’m not making an unreasonable request.”
Surprised that he’d shown that much emotion, Livia agreed, “Fine.”
“Now,” he said, as they left the elevator together. “What is going on?”
Livia thought about running. There wasn’t anything keeping her here except her own honesty. Well, also the fact that she liked seeing him. That was a problem, but it was true. She wasn’t planning on spilling her guts to Corvin, but she knew that she could. Being around someone with whom that was possible was like finding an oasis in the desert.
“So, I guess...the joke is on me. Right?” Livia said, rubbing the back of her neck, embarrassed. “Hahaha and all that.”
Corvin didn’t laugh. “Can I do anything for you, Liv?”
“What? No. I’m fine. I’m sorry...you should go back to class. Don’t let me bother you.”
Corvin shook his head. “You’re not a bother. I don’t mind seeing you. Next time, let’s do it outside our class time.”
“Right, that’s…”
Corvin tore a piece of paper off a flyer that was on a billboard next to the elevator. He took a pen out of his jacket pocket. He spoke as he wrote. “Here’s my personal cell number and my address. Call me. Show up. I don’t mind.”
Livia accepted the paper in shock. Shouldn’t he be annoyed and irritated with her? He hardly ever reacted the way she expected. Part of why she could not like him, she tried to remind herself. “Um, I--”
“Text me?” he encouraged, touching her arm lightly and looking into her eyes. “Then I’ll be able to get a hold of you that way.”
All the breath fled from Livia’s lungs at his touch. It felt so good. Not in that physical way always described in Romance novels where you got tingles running down your spine. Emotionally, though, it helped. There was a relief from the isolation she’d felt. She didn’t feel so disconnected from the world, from herself. All of him-- his manner, his voice, the way he looked in her eyes--filled a huge crater in her. It scared her but she couldn’t deny that even this short interaction with him was good for her.
“Hey,” he said, softly. “I know I’m a pest for asking again, but you sure everything is alright, Fabulous?”
Livia laughed at the old nickname. “I think...I’m...I must be homesick, Corvin.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Is this the first time away from your family?”
“No, I--” Livia cut off. She didn’t want to talk about the month she’d been in foster care. She didn’t like the tremor that appeared in her voice when she said, “It’s just good to see someone that knows me…”
“I’m here,” he said. He gave her arm a brief squeeze and released her.
Livia was speechless. First, he was offering emotional support? That was new. Second, she was reacting way too strongly to his presence. She needed to cool it. She wasn’t the seventeen-year-old with a crush on the security officer half-a-dozen years older than her anymore. She’d grown past that.
He gave her a friendly grin. “Come hang with us this weekend?”
“Okay, I’ll come,” Livia agreed, immediately. No, you twitterpated girl.
He nodded. “I’ll see you then. Call if you need anything. I’m excited to hear how school is going for you.”
Livia withdrew back behind the walls she’d constructed for herself. She needed to remember that even if she’d seen Corvin was capable of kindness that he was also kind of a jerk. “Go back to class before you miss something important,” she said, in full-on scold mode.
He rolled his eyes and walked away. “See ya, Fabulous.”
“Vale, bird-brain,” she called back. It was unimaginative to mock him for the meaning of his name, but Livia had to work with what she had.
“Ravens are very intelligent, thank you. But you know that better than me, Auspictrix,” he said without stopping.
“You made that word up,” she yelled at his back, recognizing that he’d probably called her a bird watcher in Latin. Everyone in Caesarea had learned that about her.
“On the spot!” he called back.
Usually, these types of arrogant wisecracks irritated Livia but she laughed. Livia told herself to walk away but she watched as Corvin got on the elevator. He turned to face her when he pushed the buttons inside the elevator. Before the door shut he imitated a phone with his hand and put it up to the side of his head.
“Call me,” he mouthed.
Livia was glad that the elevator door shut before he could see the full flush that heated her cheeks at the reminder to contact him.