Rogue of Taurus

They weren’t annoyed at all but excited. Terrance especially, to see anyone from Rattus house. Terrance hugged each Hall member at least three times before he could talk properly. “I don’t know how you guys live outside. I miss being with other Rattus folk so badly. It’s so good to see you.”

“Eh,” Adrian said. “We’ve gotten used to it. Livia knows how it is--”

Livia didn’t know if she knew, though, it wasn’t getting easier pretending around Whitney. This week was especially difficult. Especially since she’d hurt Whitney when she chose to sleep over hanging out. Livia didn’t know how to explain how badly her body needed sleep without revealing how Taurus members worked. Livia was relieved to come to hang out at Ratco tonight. She needed it.

Everyone looked at her. She picked at one of her fingernails. Adrian waited. When Livia didn’t say anything he looked surprised. She didn’t know what he expected her to do. So, she walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water. Tavian followed her.

“Can I have a glass too?” he asked.

Livia got a second glass and handed it to him. Corvin was in the kitchen, squinting at a recipe, deeply involved in a baking project.

“Do you want help, Corvin?” Livia asked.

“Um, that’d be nice, Liv,” he said. “I’m supposed to do this.”

He turned the recipe book toward her.

“You’re making pretzel bites?”

“I thought it would be easy. It’s not.”

Livia smiled. “You got an apron? We’re gonna get pretty messy.”

“We don’t have any,” he said.

Livia shrugged. She’d have to deal. “Okay, then. Let’s do it.”

Tavian didn’t leave. “Liv, you acted weird in there.”

She glanced at him. Then looked away.

He frowned. “You miss Caesarea then?”

Livia found a measuring cup. Then stilled. “It’s kind of bigger than missing, Tavian,” she admitted. “If I just missed it. It’d be easy.”

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“It’s like...I don’t know if I could live outside the way I thought I could. The way I wanted.”

“Why not?”

“I thought I could switch back to who I used to be, but...I can’t...I need people who understand me.”

Tavian’s eyes widened. “That’s...something I never thought I’d hear you say.”

“That I’d need anything,” Livia joked.

“Well, that too. But you were pretty committed to doing things solo.”

Livia shrugged. “Maybe this is a phase. It might pass.”

“Are you hoping it does?” Tavian asked.

Livia sighed. “It’d be simpler if it did.”

“Liv,” Corvin looked at her. “You know it’s normal, right? To need people?”

Livia looked at him, surprised.

“The fact you can feel and acknowledge that need is evidence that you’ve healed,” he said.

Livia froze. “I don’t know if I like that. It’s harder to need people.”

“I know, but it’s good. It’s healthy,” he said.

“But it’s hard…” Livia said.

“Yeah, but that means you’re growing, you’re learning. It’s an amazing place to be.”

“So, you don’t think it’s going to go away,” Livia said.

“Not in the way you’ll want it to,” Corvin said. “It’ll go away when your needs are satisfied.”

Livia sighed. “I hate being human.”

Corvin laughed. “Me too, Liv. Sometimes it sucks, right?”

His openness about his feelings surprised her. “You feel that way?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“A lot?”

Corvin pursed his lips. “Depends.”

Livia considered him. “Is it worse out here or in Caesarea?” she asked.

Corvin sighed. “Again, complicated. I think I needed a break from Caesarea. But I miss my family--a lot. It’s hard.”

Corvin’s expression didn’t change but Livia looked at Tavian and saw such a genuine sadness on his face. She realized he was echoing Corvin’s emotions.

“That’s a fierce ache, Cor,” Tavian said. “Go visit them.”

“We keep talking about going the week of fall break. It coincides with the founding festival so it’s perfect. Liv, you wanna come with us?”

“Um, let me think about it...wait, you guys will be gone that entire week. I…” need you.

“Come with us,” Corvin begged. “I’ll worry about you here all alone.”

Livia worried about herself too. “I need time to get used to this idea. What’s the plan?”

Corvin and she baked together as he gave her all the details. “Felicity is struggling hard, Liv,” Corvin said. “She needs it more than I do.”

“What else can we do, Corvin?” Livia asked. “We met up for lunch a couple of days last week on campus.”

“I don’t know if there’s more you can do than that, Liv. That’s already a big help. She’ll figure it out, eventually. She either toughen up and ride it out or cave and learn a big lesson about herself. Either way, she’ll be okay if we support her through it.”

The more familiar Livia became with Corvin, the more she realized how non-judgemental he was of other people. He didn’t care what Felicity decided as long as he knew she was safe and happy.

“She’ll be okay?” Livia repeated, looking at him for reassurance.

Corvin stepped closer. “Yeah, Liv. She has a good family and friends that love her in both places. She’ll find her best way.”

Without thinking Livia moved into his personal space to drink in the reassurance he exuded. “I worry about her.”

Corvin smiled, his stance opening to invite her closeness. “You worry about everyone, I’ve noticed.”

Livia sighed. “I can’t help it. You think she’ll be okay?”

Corvin settled his hand between her shoulder blades. “She’ll be fine and so will you.”

Livia startled away. “Sorry, I--”

“You’re fine,” Corvin said, voice warm.

Livia could still feel the sensation of touch on her skin and instead of disliking it, she savored it. She regretted pulling away.

“I’m slacking off,” she scolded herself. “The pretzels won’t make themselves.”

Livia dedicated herself to the baking enterprise, putting space between her and Corvin. She looked up at Tavian. His wide eyes switched between them, as he suppressed a smile.

She rambled about nonsensical things, clearly flustered. Corvin interrupted her when he stroked a flour-covered finger down her nose. Livia looked at him startled.

“What are you doing?” she asked. “Is there flour on my nose?”

Corvin laughed. “When was the last time someone told you that you’re adorable?”

Livia was too surprised to respond. What was she supposed to read into this? Was Corvin playing with her? Flirting? He thought she was adorable?

Livia looked at Tavian, who was laughing openly. “Is there flour on my nose, Tav?”

“No,” he laughed. “You’re fine.”

Arik took that opportunity to come in. “Oh, excellent! We’re baking?”

He went over to the sink and washed his hands. He handed Livia the rag. “Wipe off your nose, Liv.”

Corvin and Tavian both chortled when she glared at them both. “I am not adorable!”

“Of course, you are,” Arik said without missing a beat.

“Not cool,” Livia glared at him.

He took out his phone and glanced at it and frowned.

“Something wrong, Arik?” Tavian asked.

He sighed. “No.”

“Expecting a call?” Corvin asked.

“Yeah.” He placed the phone on the counter in front of him. He looked at Liv. “Are you going to stop glaring at me every time I come near?”

Livia jerked her chin back. “I’m not glaring at you--” That much.

Arik raised a single brow at her. “Right.”

Oh no. He was in a mood. She knew if she denied glaring at him there would be a fight. It was time for a different tactic.

“I think you’re being lazy,” she barked at him. “Standing there looking at your phone when there’s work to do in here.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, Liv, what would you like me to do?”

“Roll this dough out into strips and cut each into one-inch pieces,” she said.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Arik said and got to work.

“Corvin, will you watch over them while they boil in the baking soda?” Livia asked.

“Got it, Fabulous,” he said.

Arik’s head shot up at the use of the nickname. Livia tried to remember if he’d ever heard it before. It was something that had started in the TARP office. She was continuously running little errands for them as the intern and they started to tease her by saying things like, “That’s our Fabulous Fabius.” Until, one day, Corvin shortened it to straight Fabulous and it stuck.

“I’ll get the pans all ready to go in the oven,” Livia said, trying to avoid Arik’s gaze. Was he going to say something?

Soon, they were a productive little assembly line. Thankfully, Arik went back to work and didn’t get upset. There was a cooperative bustle in the kitchen that made Livia feel warm and pleased. She slid two pans of pretzels into the oven and released a triumphant sigh. She liked efficiency.

“Alright, we have to let those cook,” Livia said. “When does Felicity get here, Corvin?”

He looked back at the clock as he washed his hands. “Ten minutes, if she's on time.”

“Does she know the Halls were coming?” Livia asked.

“We thought it’d be fun to keep it a surprise,” Corvin said.

“Think Felicity will react like Terrence?” Livia asked.

“More excited,” Corvin said.

Livia laughed. “That will be fun. My roommate was struck speechless.”

“She was?” Corvin asked, drying his hands off and looking at her now.

“She might have been overwhelmed with three hunky guys in her apartment.” Livia grinned.

Corvin laughed. “Compliments to Mrs. Hall.”

“She does good work doesn’t she,” Arik joked.

“I’ve always liked your mother,” Corvin said. “She strikes me as very loving with just the right amount of sternness to keep three boys in line.”

“Oh,” Tavian said. “But Tan is the wild one. She tests my mom’s patience to the limit.”

“I am very familiar with the difficulties of reasoning with females,” Corvin said. “I’m related to a strong-willed cluster of clever machinators myself.”

Livia laughed. He had five younger sisters. “Do they know you describe them as such?”

“You should hear what they call me,” he said.

Livia shook her head, amused.

At that moment a knock came at the door. “Felicity’s here!” Livia cried.

Terrance opened the door. “So, we have a surprise…”

“What surprise?” Felicity asked.

“Come see,” Terrance invited them in.

“Visitors!” Felicity squealed with delight a moment later.

Corvin and Livia cracked up together, gazes locking.

This provoked another intrigued look from Arik. Livia quickly looked away and stopped laughing. Corvin glanced between her and Arik, then frowned.

“Tan!” Felicity greeted. “Are you Adrian or Tavian?” she asked from the other room.

Arik and Tavian exchanged a look and grinned at each other.

“I’m Adrian,” Adrian said.

“Adrian!” Felicity squealed.

Arik and Tavian laughed outright then slipped out of the kitchen to the front room. Livia sighed in relief to be out from under Arik’s scrutiny.

“Arik!” Felicity squealed.

Arik took the opportunity to taunt Adrian that his name was more memorable. Livia grinned at Corvin as Tavian got the last happy Felicity greeting. “She’s happy.”

Corvin came alongside her. “See? She’ll be fine.”

They were alone in the kitchen now. Corvin opened his mouth to say something when Arik’s phone vibrated with an incoming call. Livia’s eyes widened as the caller’s name flashed--Lauren. The name was accompanied by a picture of a young red-haired woman clutched in a passionate embrace with Arik. He’d picked up a new girlfriend. Well, that hurt but also...she was relieved.

Corvin swiped the phone. “I’ll be right back.”

He disappeared from the kitchen giving Livia a much-appreciated space to breathe. Corvin came back a moment later. “Arik slipped outside to chat with Lauren.”

Livia took a deep breath. “That’s the call he must have been waiting for.”

“You okay?” he asked. “That’s a brutal way to find out your ex is dating someone new.”

Livia sighed. “It’s a little painful but also...I’m relieved?”

Corvin smiled. “Not a bad feeling.”

“I mean, he moved on. It’s over--”

“Closure?” Corvin asked.

Livia nodded. “I think? I don’t know.”

Corvin shrugged. “We don’t need to analyze it.”

Livia sighed with relief. “Okay. Let’s just...do something else.”

“It’s a mess in here,” Corvin said, carrying a bowl to the sink and starting to scrub it out.

Livia had the urge to give Corvin a huge hug. She couldn't ask him directly without him assuming she was deeply upset. And she needed something lighthearted right now. She’d have to settle for a playful game of revenge instead. She discreetly scooped up a handful of flour and headed toward him.

He heard her coming and looked over his shoulder briefly. Then did a double-take and turned fully to face her.

“Liv,” he drawled low in his throat, head tilting toward her.

Dang, how did he know she was up to no good?

“Corvin,” she said back in the same tone.

She hesitated but he grinned and reached out a hand for her. So, she stepped closer. She should have known it was a trap! When she reached him he sidestepped so she was facing the sink. One hand found her hip while the other encircled her wrist and held it over the sink and away from him. He attempted to break her grip on the flour and failed. Due to the advantage of being Taurus, no doubt. Livia laughed and twisted her wrist to break his grip.

Corvin hid his face in her hair and laughed as he lost their battle. The sound of his mirth vibrating in her ear sent happy tingles skittering down her arms. Corvin wrapped both his arms around her and pulled her tight against him to shield himself. Livia closed her eyes and surrendered herself to the embrace for one delicious moment. Then she set herself back to her revenge plot. She cackled and threw the handful of flour directly onto his hair.

Corvin immediately shook his head and got flour everywhere. He nuzzled his head along her shoulders and neck getting her covered in flour too. Livia laughed and turned in his arms so she could push him away. Only to find herself lacking the will to push when her palms came to rest against his ribcage. She looked up into his grinning face and froze. Did understanding what happened between him and Bella change things between them this much? Corvin released her from his hug and placed his hands lightly on her lower back, sending tingles down the length of her spine. Yes, definitely. The knowledge had lowered her reticence dramatically.

Corvin batted his eyelashes playfully. “How ridiculous do I look, Liv?”

When she saw the flour coating his long lashes, she snickered at him.

The spell was broken.

Corvin heaved a sigh and released her to face the sink. He turned on the tap water and splashed his face with water, washing the flower off. He put his hair under the stream and tried to finger the flour out, but he was missing spots.

“Here,” Livia reached out before she considered the consequences. “Let me help.”

She ran her fingers through Corvin’s wet curls, shaking out the sticky flour. She stilled for a moment as the sensation of his hair between her fingers overwhelmed her. She enjoyed it. Too much. Suddenly, all this familiarity intimidated her.

Corvin waited. “Did you get it all?”

“No. I--” Livia moved her fingers through his hair again, washing out the flour spots. She was more careful and timid than she’d been at first.

“You’re fine,” Corvin insisted. “Thanks for the help.”

Corvin closed his eyes. He looked like Ares when he was getting his head scratched.

“You like that?” Livia whispered.

“Feels nice,” he said, simply.

Livia got the rest of the flour and removed her hands from his hair, heart racing. She turned off the faucet. Corvin grabbed a dry kitchen cloth and rubbed his neck and head. He turned toward her.

He grinned as he took her in. “You’re a mess.”

Livia was too shy to look him in the eye. "Not as bad as you were.”

Corvin reached out and placed a hand on her lower back to draw her close again.

Livia inhaled sharply and stiffened.

Corvin turned half away to turn the faucet back on and soak the towel. “I’ll be gentle, Liv. It was all good fun. No hard feelings.”

Livia swallowed as he turned toward her and brushed a corner of the towel against her cheek. Livia flinched instinctively.

“Is that too cold?” Corvin asked, hesitating.

“No, it feels nice,” Livia admitted. “I’m just not used to that.”

“To things feeling nice?” Corvin asked, concerned.

Livia tried to swallow down her emotion as tears flooded her eyes. Thankfully, she was able to blink them away before any of them fell but Corvin wasn’t blind.

“Sorry,” Livia whispered.

Corvin lifted the towel again and brushed her cheek gently. “I’m not afraid of tears, Liv, as you know.”

Livia laughed, breathless. TARP agents negotiated their way through a lot of tears weekly. He brushed the flour off her other cheek and the cold rag was soothing against her skin. Livia knew her expression softened in response to his touch and she attempted to draw away, afraid she’d reveal her feelings for him.

Corvin tugged her back gently. ”Did you think less of me for enjoying your touch?”

“No.” Livia scoffed. That was ridiculous.

“I won’t think less of you,” he said, directly meeting her gaze. “May I?”

Livia closed her eyes hoping that would make it easier. “Okay.”

As Corvin wiped the flour off her face with the cold rag Livia’s tension eased. She realized that her skin was irritated and itchy from the flour. The cold soothed away the irritation. A sigh of relief slipped out of the back of her throat. Corvin’s hand lifted from her back and cradled the back of her head as he tilted it back so he could wipe the flour off her neck and shoulders.

“All done,” he said.

Livia opened her eyes, and Corvin smiled. Both his hands feathered over her hair, “Except, for your hair. Shall we rinse it the way we did mine?”

“Can’t you just brush it out?” Livia asked.

“I’ll try,” Corvin’s fingers brushed lightly over the strands of her hair as he tried to dust the flour out. “It looks better. But--”

Their gazes met and he stopped mid-explanation. Livia wasn’t thinking clearly. She felt too relaxed, too comfortable because she slid her hands up his chest and over his shoulders. She didn’t have a plan or an endgame. The gesture just felt right, as natural as exhaling after inhaling.

Corvin’s expression softened and his forehead lowered to rest against hers. He inhaled deeply and his hands tangled deep into her hair.

Livia imagined the taste of his lip against hers and inched her chin upward.

“Livia,” Arik said, strolling into the kitchen. Livia leaped out of Corvin’s arms so fast he had to grasp the counter to keep from falling over. She turned to face Arik, cheeks flaming. His eyes went wide, flying from her to Corvin and back the same way Tavian’s had.

Arik grinned and leaned against the doorframe. “So, how long are you keeping it a secret?”

“What a secret?” Livia asked, baffled.

“Your relationship,” he snapped. “I’ve been watching you two the entire time and it’s clear as day--”

“Watching who?” Livia asked, confused.

Arik tsked and an impatient look crossed his face. “You and Corvin, Liv.”

Livia’s face flamed and she cast Corvin an embarrassed look. “We’re not dating,” she whispered.

“Why not?” he demanded.

Livia glared at Arik. “We’re not dating, Arik.”

Corvin said, “Arik, there’s no secret. Liv and I are not in a relationship, currently.”

Arik was not deterred. “Corvin, you should take Livia out.”

Corvin coughed. Livia was suspicious it was to hide a laugh and she glared at Corvin. Corvin took one look at Livia and sobered. “You-you hold that opinion?” he asked.

“She’s hard on herself but she’s amazing girlfriend material. Loyal, supportive--”

“Arik,” Livia exploded. “What are you doing?”

“I am not talking to you,” Arik gave her a snooty look and turned back to Corvin.

“Liv’s not interested,” Corvin said, firmly.

“She’s not?” Arik asked, looking back at Livia. “Have you asked her?”

“Several times,” Corvin answered.

“No you haven’t,” Livia snapped. Then she remembered more than one invitation she’d shot down immediately. She closed her eyes and put her forehead in her palm.

Arik laughed. “He did ask, didn’t he?”

“He was only being nice,” Livia defended herself.

“Cause that’s a crime,” Arik drawled.

“Why are you making it your business?” she demanded.

“I want you to be happy, Liv,” Arik said. “Also, not a crime.”

“Don’t be this way,” Livia ordered.

“What way?” Arik asked, innocently.

“Meddling,” she said.

“Cause you’d never meddle to help someone you cared about,” Arik said, a single eyebrow raised.

Livia growled through clenched teeth. “Arik.”

“Be persistent, Corvin,” Arik said.

“Arik, this is not cool,” Corvin said. “You’re embarrassing her and that’s extremely unkind despite the fact you claim to care for her.”

“She doesn’t understand her position, Corvin,” Arik said. “She thinks I’m a higher class than her. She thinks her status is so far beneath yours that it’s impossible to bridge the gap.”

“Thanks, Arik,” Livia said. “Thanks for that.”

“I understand what you’re saying,” Corvin said. “Now, stop. I won’t tolerate this discussion anymore.”

Livia was trembling with the effort it took to suppress her tears.

Arik opened his mouth to speak again, a smug look on his face, but Corvin interrupted, harshly. “Don’t speak. Leave this kitchen. Now.”

Arik looked at Livia and his amusement evaporated. “Liv?”

She inhaled a shaky breath and turned her back to him. There was a long, tense silence, and then she heard Arik shuffle away.

Corvin approached her. Livia tried to breathe away the tears but only managed to sound like she was hyperventilating, as tears slipped down both cheeks.

“This is so stupid,” she squeaked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Corvin said, calmly. “That must have hurt. He was a little too eager to hand you over to the next guy, huh? Right after you were ambushed with the Lauren call.”

Livia put a hand over her heart. “I don’t know. I don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?” Corvin asked.

“I don’t know why I’m crying--” she whispered.

“You’re not hurt?” Corvin asked, surprised.

“I feel...so...anxious...”

“You scared?” Corvin asked.

“I don’t want you to think...I’m...I’m preying on you--”

Corvin laughed. “No, I don’t think that, Liv.”

“And it does make me feel...worthless,” she whispered.

“Cause he doesn’t want you?” Corvin asked in a low voice so no one else could hear.

“I’m not good enough,” Livia whimpered. “Nothing I do is ever good enough.”

Corvin put his arms around her. “You are amazing just the way you are, Liv.”

Livia cried on his shoulder. “I didn’t want to do this again.”

Corvin chuckled. “I’m here. Just cry all you need.”

“It’s so stupid. Why do humans have feelings? It’s so useless,” she muttered.

Corvin rubbed a single hand up and down her back. “Let it all out, Liv.”

Livia was grateful that the tears passed quickly and she pulled back. “Thanks, Corvin.”

He shook his head. “No problem. Let’s get those pretzels out of the oven before they burn, huh?”

She nodded. Corvin found the perfect balance between distracting her from her emotions and offering her support and validation at the same time. She reminded herself he did this all day for a living, of course, he was good at it.