Rogue of Taurus

“Livia, you’ve called, finally,” Mom answered.

Livia had to gather her courage all over again. Mom sounded displeased with her.

“Livia?” her mother asked. “Are you still there?”

“Yes,” she said. “How are things?”

“The same.”

“Um, I was wondering? Can you tell me what it was like when I was born?”

Livia’s mother sighed. “That was a long time ago now, dear.”

“I know, but…what do you remember?”

“I don’t see the point of having a nostalgic conversation, Livia.”

“I mean, it doesn’t have to be all emotional,” Livia said. “Just tell me the facts.”

“What facts?” her mother asked, sighing.

“Were you in labor a long time?”

“28 hours,” she answered.

Livia wondered if that was too long. Was that normal? “Was it hard?”

“Of course, it was.”

“Even if you were Taurus?” Livia asked.

“Everyone says we have it so easy, but it makes you feel more alone.”

“What does?”

“No one will touch you to help you avoid the pain.”

“Okay.”

“Then the pain meds don’t work, so you take ice baths.”

“Okay, but you get better in a few weeks?” Livia asked.

Mom snorted. “Try a few months—”

“Months…like six weeks?” Livia asked.

“Six months. Taurus don’t heal unless they sleep, and babies don’t sleep.”

“Wait….so…” Six months. Really?

“Why are you asking about all this?” Mom asked.

“I want to know.”

“Why?”

“Six months? You can’t be serious. That’s half of an entire year,” Livia cried.

Livia had always imagined herself as one of those people that would bounce back after birth and get straight back to work. Six weeks off, and then she’d be back to her regular routine. But six months. No one in the US gave maternity leave for six whole months. So she might as well consider pregnancy quitting her job. That was a lot of money. How would she feed herself? How would she feed her child?

“Are you pregnant?” her mother asked.

“What?” Livia snapped.

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you,” her mother insisted.

“No! I’m not!” Livia insisted.

“You are,” her mom said. “You’re lying to me. Why else would you call if you weren’t desperate? Just come home, Livia.”

“I’m not coming home!”

“Just admit it, Livia.” There was a dark satisfaction in her mother’s voice. Like she’d won.

“I am not pregnant,” Livia said calmly as she could. But she was panicking. This was the cost. What was her mother going to do? Tell Hyrum? Tell Lucas?

“Livia—”

Livia hung up. She didn’t know what else to do. Livia knew from experience that no matter how much she insisted, her mother wouldn’t believe her. She hoped that having 2000 miles between them would contain the damage.

Livia was so upset that she couldn’t sleep that night. She couldn’t stop worrying about what her mother would do next. Would she go so far as to get on a plane, fly here, and confront Livia? Would she call Gaius? Last she heard, they were not speaking to each other. Would Gaius believe her?

Livia was being ridiculous. This was the modern age. She could pee on a stick and prove it to him. She was not actually pregnant. Corvin texted. I miss you, Liv.

Livia: I know.

Corvin: You know? Does that mean you miss me too?

Livia: I do.

Corvin: Then let’s spend some time together.

Livia hesitated. Even though she was running low on sleep, she’d packed a lunch and a bag like she was going on a trip. She was ready to hole up in the library until she got her answers from books that couldn’t betray her for asking questions.

Livia: Can’t. Working on a project in the library.

Corvin: What project? We’re out of school.

Livia: I am going to the library.

Corvin: When can I see you then?

Livia: Tomorrow.

Corvin: When?

Livia hissed. What did he have to be so insistent? Why did they have to figure this out now? There were a lot more important things she needed to focus on. She’d answer him later. She threw her phone in her bag and drove to the Caesarean Library.

It took Livia a while to find the legal section because she refused to ask anyone for help. It wasn’t big. She started with a paperback on family law that looked reasonably modern and started reading.

Thirty minutes later, she was searching for a book that would explain Latin legal phrases to her. Once she did that, she made a lot of progress.

The Paterfamilias didn’t have as much say over having children as Livia thought. A law from the seventies limited his power over parental decisions. So she didn’t have to worry about Lars or Gaius. Then after over an hour of effort, Livia got to the end of the chapter only to discover that the law only applied to plebeians.

Livia was a patrician.

A separate set of laws applied to her.

Livia should stop to eat, but she ignored that. She looked around for a book on Patrician law. She searched in vain for a modern-looking book, but all the books looked over 100 years old. Livia grabbed one and opened it.

It was written entirely in Latin. She slammed it closed and grabbed the next one. Latin. The next. Latin. Walls of Latin text stopped her from knowing what she needed to know. There was only one book left on the shelf.

Livia’s phone rang. It was probably Corvin. She should figure out a time to eat. She answered it.

“Livia?” her brother’s voice spoke through the phone.

“Lucas?” Livia asked in surprise. “What’s up?”

“Mom called last night—”

Livia closed her eyes. She’d been stupid. Why hadn’t she called Lucas first? That might have fixed this whole problem.

“Did she?” she asked lightly.

“She says you’re pregnant.”

“I’m not.”

“And then Tavian said you were calling and asking about birth control—”

“Oh no, that was a separate conversation,” Livia said. “I was asking for legal advice.”

“Why would you need legal advice on birth control?” Lucas asked.

“I’m signing matched papers. I’m trying to figure out what they say—”

“Why do that? Hyrum didn’t. It’s not necessary, obviously.”

Livia looked at the tombs of Latin in front of her. Could she backtrack? Tell Corvin she didn’t want to do this? But what was the point? Wasn’t it better to know now that she didn’t even know the laws that organized her marriage before she got further into this whole mess?

“I just don’t want to get taken advantage of… you know…the way Gaius did. So, I’m researching—”

“I mean do you trust Corvin or not?”

“I don’t think it’s that simple,” Livia whispered, overwhelmed.

“Why not?”

“Did you know there are different laws for patricians and plebeians?” Livia asked.

“Livia, you aren’t going to distract me from the main issue here. Is the baby Corvin’s?”

“No.”

“So, you cheated?” Lucas was aghast.

“No! There is no baby!” Livia snapped.

“Livia,” Lucas sighed. “Come on—”

“You don’t believe me?” Livia demanded. “Why not?”

“Liv—”

“Why do you believe our unstable mother, who hasn’t seen me in over two years, over me?”

“Then why are you asking all these questions then?”

“Don’t I have the right to know?” Livia demanded.

“You already know,” Lucas insisted.

“No, I don’t! Being Taurus screws up everything.”

“Things aren’t that different, Liv,” he said.

“Explain why you think I shouldn’t want to be completely prepared for the most painful and traumatic experience I’ll ever willingly elect to go through!” Livia screamed into the phone.

“Livia.”

A voice spoke behind her, and she jumped. She turned, and Corvin was standing there, looking concerned.

“I have to go—”

“Livia,” Lucas protested. “Just tell me the truth.”

“I did,” she yelled.

“Livia, if you’re telling the truth, then why—”

Livia hung up on her brother in the middle of his sentence. She was furious that he didn’t believe her.

“Liv, who was that?” Corvin whispered.

Livia shook her head.

“Liv,” he insisted. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You look so upset. What can I do to help?”

She shook her head again. He walked over to the table and looked over her books. “You’re researching…family law?”

“Those books are useless,” she snapped.

“Why?”

“They’re about plebeians.”

Corvin frowned. He pointed at the paragraph she’d just read and muttered, “Well, why wouldn’t you put that in the first paragraph instead at the end of your chapter? That’s poor writing. Who wrote this?”

He picked up the book and looked at the cover. The information there made him frown more. “I wouldn’t trust this book, Liv.”

“Apparently, there’s no one I can trust,” she muttered. “Not even books.”

Corvin’s eyes lifted to hers. “What do you want to know, Liv?”

“I just want to know the rules,” she snapped. “Why is that so impossible?”

Corvin’s expression softened. “Patrician family law. That’s what you’re trying to understand?”

Livia’s eyes filled with tears. She was terrified of what he’d do if she admitted it. She bit her lip.

Corvin shook his head. “Liv, you have a right to high-quality books.”

“These ones are all written in Latin,” she whispered, laughing to lessen the effect of her tears.

“Let me see,” Corvin strode over there. “You should start with Patrician Families: A modern interpretation. It’s by Lucius Scavaeola.”

Corvin searched the shelves three times. “It’s not here. It must be checked out already. Come with me. There’s a patrician reading room.”

“What?” Livia asked.

“You didn’t know?” he asked.

“No. Why would there be such a thing?”

Corvin shrugged. “It’s one of the perks that come with the responsibilities.”

He returned to the table and grabbed the book explaining Latin legal phrases. “Keep this one. It’s an excellent book.”

He placed the book in Livia’s arms. “Let me see your library card.”

Livia squinted at him and handed it over.

“You don’t have the sticker.”

Corvin led her to the help desk, and the librarian placed a golden eagle sticker on the corner of her card. Then Corvin led her up a set of steps at the back of the library. They went up a floor and found a tiny lobby in front of a room closed with clear glass.

Corvin handed Livia’s card to the man posted at the lobby desk.

“Good to see you, Corvin,” he said. “Anything, in particular, I can help you find?”

Corvin told him the title he wanted to look for.

“It’s in,” the man said after checking his computer. He scribbled on a piece of paper. “Here’s the call number.”

Corvin accepted the paper and handed it to Livia. He led her past the greeting desk and into the patrician reading room. He went straight to the book he was looking for and pulled it off the shelf. He inspected the spine. “Excellent. You can check this one out. So you can consult it at your leisure. For future reference, a lot of the books must stay here. So, patricians can come in and read them at any time. If there is more than one copy in the room, the spares will have red dots on the bottom of the spine. The red dot means you can check it out.”

Corvin placed the book atop the one already in her arms. “Start with that….”

“Another one I’d recommend is Difficult Questions on Family Authority. But you won’t understand it till you read that Scavaeola.”

Corvin led her to another section of the library. “It’s here in special collections. You must sign up for a time slot to read it in one of the study rooms.” Corvin gestured to three small doors along the far wall. Then he showed her how to reserve an appointment to read a specific title.

“Why do you have to make an appointment….”

Corvin sighed. “It’s a little radical and non-traditional. Most old people disagree with it, so they keep it locked down.”

“Do you agree with it?” Livia asked.

“I regret I didn’t read it sooner. It helped me figure out what I believed about marriage.”

“What does your father think about you reading it?” Livia asked.

“He adjusted to it,” Corvin said. “It gave him intellectual justification to modernize some of the procedures in the House, which the younger generations appreciate.”

“He didn’t flip out?” Livia asked.

Corvin looked confused. “Why would he?”

“Maybe he doesn’t want you reading non-traditional and radical things?” she said.

Corvin pursed his lips. “Most radical writing is suppressed truth. And I’ve learned the more we heed truth and follow where it leads, the more healthy society becomes. The healthier we become. I know my father believes the same.”

“What happens when people don’t agree on the truth?” Livia asked.

Corvin smiled. “We get book appointments in restricted reading rooms. But that doesn’t stop the truth from changing the individual who encounters it.”

Livia studied him, and he sobered.

“Liv, Hun,” he whispered softly. “Are you okay?”

“I’m trying…” she said.

“Trying to what?”

“I’m trying to be okay—”

“Is it hard today?” Corvin asked.

“It’s tough today,” Livia admitted.

“Hey, is it because I’ve done something?” he asked.

Livia shook her head. “No.”

“So, stuff is happening?” he pried.

Livia looked away.

“You’re not going to confide in me, are you?”

Livia hesitated. Then she shook her head.

“Then let’s try something else, then? When was the last time you ate?”

Livia’s stomach growled audibly at the mention of food. She pressed her hand over her belly.

“Will you let me feed you?” Corvin asked.

“I have a peanut butter sandwich and some carrots in my bag,” Livia said.

Corvin smiled. “Maybe we can get some tacos too?”

Livia nodded. She was too hungry to say no. Even if she suspected it was a trap.

They walked together to check the books out. Then Corvin led her to his car, opened the door, and gestured for her to get in. Livia hesitated, but exhaustion and hunger made her pliant. She climbed into the passenger seat of his SUV.

Livia got into her bag, pulled out her sandwich, and took a huge mouth-watering bite.

Corvin backed out and pulled onto the road. It didn’t take Livia long to finish off her sandwich. Now that she was eating, her stomach still ached with hunger. She was going to grab some carrots, but her head bobbled. The motion of the car made her eyelids heavy. She blinked.

Corvin was saying something Livia was too exhausted to follow. “—how does that sound?”

Livia looked at him. “I—what?”

Corvin laughed. “Liv, you’re falling asleep on me?

She mumbled. “I can’t decide what I want more—food or sleep.”

“We’re about five minutes away,” Corvin said. “When did you last eat?”

“Last night—”

“What?” Corvin asked, dismayed. “Liv, it’s four in the afternoon!”

Tears gathered in Livia’s eyes. “I’m still hungry.”

“Are you drinking water?” he demanded.

“I-I don’t remember….”

Corvin cursed. “I don’t have any in the car with me.”

Corvin pressed the gas pedal, and she was sure they got to the taco restaurant in less than five minutes. When they pulled through the drive-thru, Corvin asked her what she wanted.

“Whatever. But I don’t love a lot of meat—”

Corvin ordered and pulled up to the window, and paid. He tapped on the steering wheel as he waited for the food. When the food arrived, he pulled into a parking spot and parked. He twisted off the lid of a water bottle and passed it over.

“Start with water.”

Livia drank half of it and exchanged it for a meatless bean burrito.

After she finished the food, she leaned back against the seat and closed her eyes. Now she was only exhausted. She forced herself to drink some more water. Though, she’d never felt thirsty. She must have drank some water this morning, right?

Corvin’s hand touched her knee. “Livia, I’ve let you dodge my questions today without making too much fuss. But I need you to answer my next question honestly, okay?”

She glared at him. “What?”

“Are you in some sort of trouble?”

Livia looked away. “I’m safe, Corvin. No one hurt me.”

“That’s only one sort of trouble, Livia,” Corvin said.

Livia looked back at him, surprised. His body faced her, and his brow furrowed with concern. She wasn’t sure how to respond. Did she explain the situation to him? What parts did she leave in? What did she leave out? Since she didn’t know the answers, she shook her head and said nothing, “I’m fine.”

“You sure? You met with Gaius?”

“It wasn’t Gaius,” Livia sighed.

“But it was something,” Corvin pressed. “I heard some of your phone conversation. So what’s going on?”

Terror filled Livia at the thought of Corvin thinking she was pregnant. She had to tell him something. “I called my mom,” Livia confessed. “It was…an epic mistake.”

“Oh no,” Corvin said. “Come here, Liv.”

Corvin eased her into a comforting hug. Livia melted against the softness of his body and took shelter in the refuge of his kindness.

“Is this okay?” he asked with his lips against her hair.

“Yeah,” Livia whispered. She didn’t know how long she let him hold her, but she knew it wasn’t a short time.

Livia was almost asleep when Corvin pulled away. “I’m going to take you home.”

“But my car—”

“I’ll take care of it if you give me the keys.”

Livia placed her keys in Corvin’s hand and let him take her home. He came around to her side of the car and opened her door. Corvin walked her into the house.

Hyrum was waiting for some reason and could tell something was wrong. “What happened?”

“Stress and lack of sleep,” Corvin said.

Hyrum’s eyes narrowed. “Liv, you’re not sick, are you?”

“No. Just tired,” she said. “I’m fine, Hyrum.”

Hyrum was silent.

Awkwardness filled the air. Corvin leaned down and pressed his lips to the center of Livia’s forehead.

“You can call me,” he said after pulling away.

“I know.”

“Eat. Drink. Sleep,” he ordered.

Livia muttered. “I’ll remember.”

Corvin ran the tip of his nose down the length of Livia’s nose. “Promise?”

A smile turned Livia’s lips at his playful affection. “I promise.”

He pulled away. “I’ll be checking in tomorrow.”

“Of course, you will.” Livia still grinned.

Corvin’s eyes dropped to Livia’s lips. She lifted her eyes past his shoulder to the watchful gaze of her brother. Hyrum frowned. Livia couldn’t tell if he were worried or disapproving.

Corvin glanced over his shoulder. He sighed. “I should go. It was nice to see you, Hyrum.”

Hyrum didn’t respond.

Then Livia wondered if Mom had called Hyrum too. Hyrum wasn’t a warm personality, but he wasn’t rude.

Corvin hesitated. He stepped behind Hyrum’s back and made a hand gesture. Asking if she wanted him to stay. Livia shook her head at him.

Corvin slipped out and left Livia to face her brother alone.