Rizz Leveling: A Solo Leveling Fic

As we sat there in silence, my mom's breathing steadied. But I could still feel the tension in her, the weight of what happened hanging in the air.

She clung to me, almost like she didn't want to let go, but eventually, she did. Slowly, she pulled herself away from my embrace, wiping her tear-streaked face.

"I… I need a minute," she muttered, her voice shaky but trying to hold it together. Without another word, she slipped out of bed, grabbing the sheets to cover herself as she made her way to the bathroom.

The door clicked shut, and Esther leaned against it, her heart still racing. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, her face pale, her eyes red and puffy from crying.

Shame burned through her, and her mind kept replaying the events of last night.

How could I have let that happen? she thought, her hands trembling as she gripped the sink. I'm his mother… What kind of person does something like this?

She splashed water on her face, trying to shake the feeling of disgust and confusion. But the memories came flooding back, too strong to ignore.

It all started with alcohol. I've been drinking a lot lately—just trying to forget, to dull the loneliness. But last night, I went too far. I was drunk, way too drunk.

In that state, my mind blurred the line between reality and fantasy, I started seeing Arjun, my dead husband instead of Samuel, my son.

(Flashback No Jutsu)

(Kim Esther's POV)

In those first moments, lying there in bed, I didn't realize it was him. My foggy mind made me think it was Arjun, my late husband.

I hugged him, whispered his name, felt the warmth of his body next to mine, and even kissed him passionately. For a second, I let myself believe he was really back.

Then, I remember following behind him to the bathroom, hugging him intimately as I could feel cold water.

Soaking, freezing water from the shower falling on me, making me soaking wet. It hit me like a slap.

As the cold soaked through my clothes, through my skin, I sobered up enough to realize… it wasn't Arjun I had hugged and did all that to.

It wasn't Arjun lying beside me. It was Samuel but I was still very much drunk to not care too much about it.

Now, standing in the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror. I removed my wet clothes, as I stood there naked, wanting to feel desirable, but not just lustfully, but emotionally as well.

I removed a very revealing, erotic lingerie. And I knew Samuel was right outside the door.

My head was spinning with guilt and shame. And then, as if things couldn't get worse, I could see two tiny versions of myself—one angelic, the other devilish—sitting on my shoulders.

The angel, dressed in a little white gown, looked horrified. "Esther, what are you thinking? This is wrong!" she squeaked, flapping her tiny wings. "You're his mother! You can't do this!"

But the devil version of me, in a skimpy red outfit with horns and a tail, just smirked. "Oh, come on, Esther," she teased. "You're lonely. You deserve to feel good for once. Why not enjoy it while it lasts?"

I groaned, rubbing my temples, trying to shake the absurd scene out of my head. Even drunk, I knew it was wrong.

But the devilish part of me—the part that was tired of being alone, sexually and emotionally frustrated—kept whispering in my ear.

"You know you want to," the devil cooed. "Just let yourself have this. No one has to know…"

"No!" the angel squeaked, flapping her wings harder. "Stop before you do something unforgivable!"

I stood there, frozen, torn between these two voices in my head. The angel was right. I should stop.

But the alcohol, the loneliness, and that devilish whisper had taken over. And I—I decided to let it happen.

"I just want to feel loved again," I whispered to myself, gripping the sink harder. But not like this. Not with Samuel.

The little devil version of me had laughed, cheered me on. "That's right! He's here, he's warm, and no one has to know… who cares if he's your son. You have the right to feel love even if it's for one day."

I let my devilish side take better of me, I put the erotic lingerie in my hand back in the cabinet and decided to wear the most erotic lingerie I had

I know it's him. But I'm still putting it on. I want to feel desirable again. Maybe I'm just lonely, starved for affection. But none of that is an excuse.

He's my son and right now I just want to feel the warmth of a male, his rod in my hole, something my pussy has been craving for so long. With that thought in mind, I went out and rest is what happened.

(Flashback No Jutsu Ends)

I leaned over the sink, staring at my reflection, tears filling my eyes. 'What have I done?' The shame was crushing me. The memory of crawling into bed with Samuel, of feeling his warmth, his comfort—it made my stomach churn.

I had convinced myself it was just the alcohol, just the need for affection, but I knew better, my lust got the better of me, and I did something forbidden with my own son.

And now, standing here, I could feel the weight of the guilt. The angel's voice echoed in my head, reminding me of the line I'd crossed, the failure I'd become.

"I'm a terrible mother," I whispered, tears running down my face. "I failed him… I failed myself…. I failed Arjun."

I covered my face with my hands, trying to block out the memories, the guilt, and those ridiculous little voices. 'Why did I let this happen?'

Then I thought about Samuel, sitting in the other room, waiting for me. He didn't hate me. He had held me, comforted me, told me everything would be okay. But I didn't feel like I deserved his kindness.

"I have to fix this," I whispered, my voice shaking. But I didn't know how. How could I ever make things right?

I couldn't stay in the bathroom forever. I had to face him, no matter how much shame and regret I felt. I had to face what I'd done.

I stood there, still staring at myself, trying to gather the strength to face Samuel. My hands were trembling as I opened the cabinet and grabbed some clothes—just a simple white shirt and black pants, nothing fancy. I couldn't bear to look at the lingerie again. I put them on quickly, avoiding my reflection in the mirror.

With a deep breath, I opened the bathroom door.

When I stepped out, Samuel was already dressed. He was fixing the bed, smoothing out the sheets like nothing had happened. The sight of him doing something so normal made the guilt hit me even harder. I wanted to say something, but the words were stuck in my throat.

He glanced up when he noticed me, but his face was calm. Almost too calm.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice steady, like he was trying to ease the tension. "I thought maybe you'd want some coffee or something."

I nodded, though I wasn't sure I could even drink anything right now. My stomach felt twisted, and my chest ached with the weight of what had happened.

"I… I'm sorry," I managed to whisper, my voice cracking. "I don't even know what to say…"

Samuel stopped fixing the bed and walked over to me, his face gentle, but there was something in his eyes—something I couldn't quite read.

"It's okay, Mom," he said softly. "We can talk about it later. You don't have to say anything right now."

But I wanted to say something. I needed to say something. The silence was suffocating. I couldn't just pretend everything was okay, even if Samuel was trying to be strong for me.

I took a shaky step forward, looking down at the floor because I couldn't bear to meet his eyes.

"No, it's not okay," I whispered. "What I did… what we did… it's wrong. I was drunk, I was confused, but I… I knew it was you, Samuel. I knew, and I still…"

My voice trailed off, and I felt the tears start to come again. Samuel stood there, watching me, not saying anything. I couldn't tell if he was angry or just sad, but he didn't push me away.

"I should've stopped," I continued, choking on my words. "I should've been a better mother. I let everything get to me—the loneliness, the alcohol, everything. But none of that is your fault. It's mine."

I finally looked up at him, my vision blurry from the tears. "I don't know how to fix this," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know if I can."

Samuel reached out and gently took my hand, his touch warm and steady. "We'll figure it out," he said quietly. "But not right now. Let's just… breathe for a minute, okay?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak anymore. The shame, the guilt, everything was crashing down on me, but in that moment, all I could do was hold on to Samuel's hand, hoping that somehow, we could find a way to move forward.

But deep down, I wasn't sure if I deserved that chance.

Author's Note:

Hey everyone! Just a quick update: my main focus is currently my MHA fic, so this new story will have slower updates. But if you're want to read ahead, I've got some special options for you on Patreon!

✨ $3 Tier: Get 4 advance chapters each week.

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Your support on Patreon helps me keep these stories coming, and every bit is appreciated! If you'd like to join, here's the link:

[https://patreon.com/EmperorNumix]

(https://patreon.com/EmperorNumix)

Thank you, and happy reading!