Rick and Richard

I used my portal gun to near Morty and Rick place, they are in dimension 35-C or that is what rick calls it. I teleported there in front of rick trying to shove a seed that looks like a pointed coconut into Morty ass. As I assess the situation I deadpan at the position they are in though, it looks like rick is trying to force his hand into Morty which is very weird and highly illegal.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" I yelled, my expression showing surprise and little bit of concern.

"How the hell did you get here?" Rick said 

"It is not what it looks like" Morty said both at the same time.

"I made the teleportation device but please explain what are you doing to your grandson?" I said with a little bit of disgust, I need bleach. "You know what, don't tell me. FUCK it is going to haunt me in my nightmares" I quickly retraced my sentences as I used the portal gun to create a portal home. I go though the portal with Rick and Morty following me though the portal.

"How did you make this gun? Show me" He said as I gave him the gun to see when we were in the living room. "This is a very basic version, which can only shot one portal to a random universe but accurate portals in the universe where we exits." He said lost in his thought, he looked at me and said "Good job kid, if given enough time you may be the second one that is able to travel the multiverse." he gave me the gun as I put in behind my pants, secretly creating a portal to my technological space. 

"MORTY" Jerry yelled as we look behind to see jerry and beth with anger in their eyes. "we decided you can't go on anymore adventures" Jerry said with resolve in his eyes. He then turn his eyes to rick and said "You are going to the nursing home, you are a bad influence on the kids." 

"Says who" I decided to interfere in the argument, rick was ticket to being powerful I need him to stay so that I can build more tech and have fun adventures especially with my memory of the future being taken away, I need rick to be essentially a dictionary of stupid alien shit. 

"Says me" Jerry said with his eyes glaring at me with beth casting a worried gaze at him.

"I hope you know what it means" I said as I put my hand behind the coat and pulled out a glock 26 and started to look at the ammunition, as I did it. Rick said 

"Whoa there, clam down. Morty has a learning disability, plus schools are stupid." while summer and beth go crazy in the background trying to take cover while beth trying to put down gun.

Jerry than says "Says who" with a little bit of sweat coming from his neck. I who got free from beth shot my gun at jerry, everything slowed down as rick said 

"What the fuck?" and beth said 

"NOO" and finally jerry the one who received it got scared and said 

"I am sorry, I did not mean it" as the bullet hit jerry. He fell back and lie there as beth came running and hold him by the head. He has clear wound on his shoulder has blood came running form it.

"Ohh no please no, please no" she said crying, jerry said 

"I love you" weakly as he slowly and dramatically while beth cried no.

"Relax, it is blood color water." I said breaking the overly dramatic movement. As jerry got up and started to check his entire body for wounds that never exited in the first place. 

"HAHAHAHHA, you- you should have looked at your face" Rick said laughing wildly. 

"Ah geese, you did not have to be so mean to dad" Morty said with a little bit of force in his voice.

"Yeah, Rick you should watch yourself. Not cool" Summer followed suit.

With that the entire episode came to end, well not exactly as we had the same talk in the dinner table.

{Dinner table}

"Fine, you can stay. But no more adventures with morty" Jerry said to which beth although dilated that grandpa could stay agreed on the morty issue.

"What? You can't do that. Beth are you going to say something?" Rick said with anger.

"Dad, I agree with jerry here. His grades are suffering" Beth said 

"They were already suffering since the beginning before I even came." Rick said

"That all the more reason to make him stay in the school." Jerry said,

"Fine, but only if Richard joins me in my adventures" Rick said as I spit out the juice I was drinking. 

"Why am I being dragged into this?" I asked to which rick replied

"You are the only one of the kids that is actually smart enough to not only assist me in experiment but also free from school and society bullshit to run errands." 

"Ok, one I am not going to be an errand boy. Two I am not that free." I said 

"Aren't you like staying home and watching television all day long." Summer said 

"Fuck you summer. I am not joining rick" I said 

"Then I am taking morty or summer" Rick said 

"adventures with grandpa, count me in" Summer said, sensing the conversation going side ways beth intervened

"Ok, summer and morty you are only going on adventures on weekends and for you Richard I am using my one request card I got for birthing you." 

"Um, What?" Morty said surprised, which is everyone is feeling.

"It is like a pass I gave to mom, because I need her to stop telling me that I gave birth to you so I can violate your privacy bullshit. She has 3 request she can ask which I have to fulfill no matter what." I explained to which morty lost interest and summer well she did not even hear what the conversation is about. Jerry said with hurt expression 

"Where is my request card?" 

"I spend 9 months, you were finished in 5 minutes." Beth glared at jerry which turned him anger and they started to argue, morty is rambling something about how long is 5 minutes is that average or shit. Summer on her phone talking to some guy while rick looks at me and says

"RICK AND RICK Adventures began, double rick for centuries" 

" I told you to not call me that" I said with a smile.

"I don't give a shit" He said as I continue eating while watching the chaotic yet strangely family like interaction.